Ballad Of Big Nothing
by Ariannette
Summary: Claire is back after four years with her memory almost intact, and a brunette. Nathan is a congressman, Mohinder's still with the company. Peter doesn't have any powers, or wants them. He's in trouble, and the only person that can really help is Claire.
1. Prologue

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Intro

_Four Years Earlier_

Peter stared at the mirror, and thought back to the day it all changed. The day he lost her forever, and it was all his fault, always underestimating her fragileness. He'd just come back from her funeral, unable to see her beauty and instead left with an urn of ashes to keep them company, trying to find some type closure.

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'You know I've been thinking, after we save the world, I may go on patrol. You know, jumping in front of bullets, dragging people out of burning buildings…'

It hadn't seemed like a big deal then, her risking her life to save someone else's. if anything he had been proud that her attitude towards her ability had changed, it showed her maturity and acceptance towards what they were.

So that's how it had all started, their adventures of saving innocent lives while risking their own and not bothering to worry about it. Because they were invincible, and couldn't be harmed, they were both indestructible, or so he had believed.

His mind traveled back to that day in Brooklyn when he had accidentally set a building on fire. He couldn't help it, he had been frightened and had acted without thinking, his body had involuntarily responded to him being frightened. He still couldn't control his powers, and they had both watched as people had started screaming in fright, trying to run out of the burning building.

He let an involuntary sob out, and dropped onto his knees taking his face into his hands and doubling over with all the pain that was surging inside him. What had he done? He hadn't meant to panic and leave her behind while the flames swallowed her. And even when it did, he was positive she would be ok, she could regenerate, why wouldn't she have been fine?

She'd survived it when she was an infant, he was so positive she'd be ok that time too. It was all his fault that she wasn't though, he had gone inside to get other people, and had shaken off the thought that she wouldn't be able to escape the engulfing fire of the building.

That's when it started all, that grey afternoon after Claire's funeral, it's when it all went down hill from there. That day a new blonde entered his life, one that was so opposite to his raw sadness. Elle was ignorant and joyful over the simplest things, and she brought hope with her. She told him that she had his answer, that with her help he'd never hurt anyone he loved again.

Elle promised Peter to make it all go away, and his pain too. She spoke of deliverance and new beginnings, all that was within a couple small pills. But how was he to know that it would all go so wrong? For Elle didn't bring him salvation that day, it was his destruction that she held in her hand instead.

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here's the intro to my new full length fic. Dont worry the final chapter for desole is going to be posted up soon, as well for indifference and he was my hero soon! :D

tell me what you think!


	2. Part I

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

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Part 1

There were pictures on the mantel piece of her family. She saw her dad and uncle, a beautiful stepmom and two wild firecracker half brothers. It was an odd feeling to be standing there and facing their pictures, remembering them. But what was most surprising and odd was that she missed them. In a way she couldn't help it, because it was the only family she had left, after four years.

Claire sat idly on the couch across from Nathan and Heidi. It was something she never really thought would happen-her facing Heidi and Nathan in the Petrelli home with acceptance. It was a far cry from what the situation use to be, how unwanted she had been then. But as she sat before them then, she could almost feel their yearning for her after so many years.

She had lost her memory, or more like-her memories had been taken from her. It's was the Haitian's doing but she felt no animosity towards him. The four years she had lived without any memory were lived to the fullest and quite honestly, with out any worries or abnormal situations of having to save the world. Claire had lived a completely different life than they had, and she could see it all in their eyes.

Not her though, in those four years she had even got a boyfriend, Andy. He was simple, didn't have powers, but accepts hers. She was thankful that he did and that he loved her, because quite honestly she was completely taken with him. With his blonde hair, and dimples that got her lost, because he was quite beautiful.

While she had been on a vacation from her inevitable future, they had lived it and it was written on their faces what those four years had done to them. Exteriorly nothing had changed, and the mansion was just as beautiful as it was the first time she had set foot in it, but they hid a secret now, and it was visible on their chest, surrounding her, maybe trying to protect her from it. She wasn't quite sure what it really was, but felt claustrophobic, and she had to take sips from her water to calm the anxious sensation on her back.

It wass then that she remembered why she was there, why she'd come back after so many years, why she'd felt like something was always missing. The truth was whether she liked it or not, she's missed them. It shocked her just as much as it shocked them when she said it out loud, but they welcomed her with open arms and she strangely accepted it, and them.

Through all the deception, and lies they were still family, as odd as it may have be. Which was why she had to remind herself that she was there because they'd always be a part of her, and she accepted it now that she was older. It felt odd to see a welcoming smile on Nathan's face and have him hug her with actual real feelings, not a tensed hug like before.

She put down her water and noted the smile, and returned it with one of her own, not sure where to begin. She didn't know what to ask or who to ask for until she saw Monty and Simon run in. They were both almost teenagers now, and seemed to have inherited her same golden hair and green eyes. They stopped and they both frowned, dropping their schoolbags next to the couch where Heidi and Nathan were both seated. Their faces were dazed, and Claire understood. The last time she had seen them was years ago when they were both still playing superman around the house.

"Claire?" Monty cocked his head to the side trying to figure out if it was really her. She was suppose to be dead, and they had gone to her funeral, it was only natural that he questioned her presence.

Simon seemed a little more shocked by her presence and he backed away, "Holy shit she's alive!"

Nathan immediately turned over and reprimanded his son for his language, but it was exactly how everyone else was feeling. They wre all happy yet astonished to see her there, he was just more blunt about it. Claire nodded and couldn't help at laugh at how surprised her brothers were to see her. And she was also happy they still remembered her, happy that she wasn't some horrible memory they were happy to get rid of.

Both boys started asking all the questions that both Heidi and Nathan were curious about, but thought rude to ask. Like how she managed to survive the fire, where she went. Why she had decided to come back after so long, and why she was a brunette now. She laughed off the questions and continued to tell them how her dad-Noah had began working for the company again and had the Haitian remove all memories of having met them from her, as well as all the memories from Sandra and Lyle.

They all listened intently as she told them what she'd done over the years, who she'd met, and it was all quite interesting. They found it ironic that she'd decided to study law, and saw how Nathan's lips were threatening to smile. He was touched, thought it must be some genetic trait that Petrelli's carried. Because after all she was a Petrelli.

After a few hours of endless discussions about Claire's life amnesia-tic, the boys retreated to their rooms to do their homework, and Heidi decided to go help the cook prepare dinner. So she was left alone with Nathan, but there was no awkward silence, it was quite comfortable actually. They didn't need to talk to know that they were happy to finally be at a healthy middle.

She remembered then that there was still something missing from this reunion, more accurately someone. As she realized that she'd spent most of the day without even thinking of him, her heart flopped, because he was just as important as Nathan was to her, maybe even more. She caught her breath and looked up to Nathan curiously, "Where's Peter?"

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N/A: I know I said I'd start it in july but I guess i'm impatient! lol, anyway i wanted to post it earlier but I got sick and I had to go to the hospital (the hospitals totally suck) :( But anywho I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Part II

Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part II

_She remembered then that there was still something missing from the reunion, more accurately someone. As she realized that she'd spent most of the day without even thinking of him, her heart flipped, because he was just as important as Nathan was to her, maybe even more. She caught her breath and looked up to Nathan curiously, "Where's Peter?"_

He gave her a dry laugh and looked at her with a small sad smile, one that resembled her very own, "I was wondering when you were going to ask about him"

Claire returned the smile, because it was true. How could she have forgotten about the person who saved her life? "Well is he here? Where is he?" She was a bit anxious to see him then, because it had been four long years. But she started wondering, why hadn't he ever tried to look for her, didn't he know that she was indestructible, wouldn't he have known that she would be ok?

For the first time that day Nathan was uncomfortable in his seat. He sighed and moved around trying to better seat himself on the expensively upholstered couch. He smiled at her again, and she had a feeling that it wasn't good-knew it wasn't good. She felt her throat dry up and realized she never thought of the possibility that he may have died in the fire.

"That's-complicated" he breathed out, looking at his watch with a sudden exaggerated interest.

She remembered hearing that before, from Meredith, when she asked about Nathan, and wondered if he was going to say the same thing. She wondered if Peter wanted nothing to do with her as well.

"What do you mean? is he ok? Is he-dead?" her words came out stumbling over each other and her voice cracking. Claire couldn't bare the thought of something being wrong with him, he was her savior, her world, her…uncle.

Nathan shook his head, and laughed, but smiled at the same time making it all more complicated for her to decipher exactly what was going on in his head, "Well, he's alive"

Her worry rested but it was back with in seconds and she stood up, "Well, where is he? Is he coming?"

Nathan stood up immediately and put a hand on her shoulder opening his mouth to say something, but closing it again and resting a finger on his lips in thought. That's when she bit her lip and knew that it was bad, knew that something was terribly wrong with her hero.

"What is it Nathan? I want to see him", she insisted, staring him straight into his eyes so he knew how important it was for her to see Peter.

"Claire…can it wait until tomorrow? I really should be getting back to the office-" he pat his tie and turned around to start walking off. Claire remembered that, that was what he did, to avoid an unwanted confrontation. It was just how Nathan dealt with things, or rather-didn't deal with things.

"Fine. Nice to see things haven't really changed", she crossed her arms, and waited for him to stall and turn around, but he didn't. He just stopped for a second contemplating whether to turn or not but kept on walking.

All she heard was the clacking of his shoes on the marble floor as he went to the foyer to leave. Claire rolled her eyes and sighed, wondering what exactly the problem with Peter was. It couldn't be that bad right? He was alive, and that was more than she could ask for.

She heard her stomach grumble and realized she hadn't eaten yet. All thanks to her excitement of reconnecting with her bio family. That was done now though, and found that her feet were walking her into the kitchen where Heidi was busily cooking away on the stove while their chef was dicing tomatoes.

The combination of the margarine and whatever Heidi was cooking on the pan ran into her nose and her hunger seemed to double. It had been a while since she'd had a real home cooked meal, and she found herself craving whatever it was they were making. Heidi picked up on what she was thinking and smiled, "I bet you're hungry"

Claire smiled timidly, it may have be her family, house-whatever, but she still got sort of shy. Although, she knew she wouldn't be shy with Peter, that's just how comfortable she was with him, and hopefully he with her.

Heidi was still looking at her, and she realized that she must have known what was going on with Peter, "Heidi…is Peter ok?"

Heidi sighed, but kept her smile and looked over to the cook, "I'm going to take a walk". He nodded and took over the cooking while Heidi went to where Claire was sitting, and put a hand on her back, "Do you want to take a walk?"

The truth was she really didn't want to, but if it would help her get more information on Peter, she was willing to walk all the way to central park, or hell, to _California_. Either way, Claire nodded and Heidi led her outside to the garden, that was well maintained by her.

"You've been gone a long time Claire", Heidi commented right away and looked at her rose garden, while sprinkling water on to them. The dedication that Heidi had to her garden was plain and Claire found herself wishing she was as passionate about something like Heidi was with all her flowers.

"Heidi, what's going on? I want to see him!" she was a bit unnerved by the and all the secretiveness that was going on, not to mention she was loosing her temper because they just didn't understand her need to see him.

Heidi shook her head and looked at Claire sympathetically, "I don't think you want to Claire, perhaps you should wait. I'll tell Nathan to call him and he can come-"

"No, I'm going to go see him Heidi. I want to know what's going on", her voice was firm, and Heidi momentarily bit her lip knowing that no matter what she said Claire would still go see him.

With resolution, Heidi nodded and looked to Claire, "Then I guess we better stop at the grocery store"

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And there you guys have it! Chapter 2! Thoughts?? I know its still very early on and i hope i'm not giving too much away...anyway if yuo guys want to see a trailer for this fic that Lauren from was nice enough to make go here: www,youtube,com/lilydandelion -with periods instead of the coma's of course! (its the newest vid entitled Ballad Of Big Nothing-Paire)


	4. Part III

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part III

**_T_**o say that Claire was nervous was an understatement. Her palms were sweaty and her throat was dry, because, for some reason, seeing Peter again excited her more than seeing the rest of the bio family. As the limo pulled up, she took note that he definitely didn't live in the same apartment building anymore. The building they had pulled up to looked much more up to the Petrelli standards and yelled "trust fund_!_"

She opened the door to get out, but Heidi put her hand on Claire's arm tentatively, "Let me talk to him first when we get there, ok?"

Though she didn't understand and, quite frankly was getting annoyed with all the secrets, Claire nodded, and continued to get out of the car. She helped Heidi with the grocery bags as they walked into the building and frowned, wondering why they were bringing Peter's groceries. Was he incapable of going to the store himself? Was the big secret that he couldn't walk?

They got to his door, and Heidi knocked but there was no answer. "Peter it's me…Heidi."

But there was still no answer, and Claire started wondering if she'd ever get to see Peter and get the truth out of everyone. They both waited a few more seconds, but Heidi eventually sighed and took out (to Claire's surprise) a key and opened the door.

Nothing she remembered from his old apartment had made its way to the new one. All the furniture was new, the high ceilings intimidated her and made her feel small. The decor didn't scream Peter at all, and it was all quite alien to him actually.

Heidi made her way over and opened the refrigerator, which cleared Claire's confusion as to why they had gone grocery shopping.

It was empty.

She frowned and Heidi seemed to know what was coming because she immediately responded, "I don't think I'm the appropriate person to tell you, Claire."

Claire put the bag she was holding on the counter and turned towards the living room, Claire didn't doubt he had a housekeeper that kept it microscopically clean, just like the kitchen. But there was something that caught her eye in his trash can, it was a picture, still in its broken frame. When she saw the picture her heart stopped, it was her with her arms wrapped around his torso and smiling. Why had he thrown her picture out? What did it imply? The rest of his family pictures were fine and in frames that weren't broken, why was hers in the trash bin and why did the frame look as if it had been thrown against a wall?

Her nose flared momentarily , but she kept the picture in her hand as she started walking into his bedroom where his bed was tidily made and the pillows were perfectly plumped

against the expensive looking headboard. An inexplicable emotion filled her and her

breathing was shallow. There was so much difference from what his old apartment used to look like. For the life of her she couldn't figure out why either. It angered her, because she was still in the dark and no one wanted to tell her anything.

It was Peter, her uncle, and she didn't see why Heidi couldn't at least clue her in to what was going on in his bizarre new world. She knew it was obviously some huge change, because that, by the condition that his apartment was in, was obvious. But they knew how much he meant to her, and yet they seemed to fling that aside, protecting her as if she was made of glass and not able to take what it all may have meant. Trying to shield her from the truth, and this.

"Claire, he's not here," Heidi was right behind her, but Claire didn't turn to look at her, simply kept examining his room, wondering what in the world had happened in those four years. What surprised her was that Heidi didn't seem taken with any of the strangeness in the apartment, and knew that the possibility of this being 'normal' was quickly starting to become real.

"What's going on?" she whispered more to herself than to Heidi, because she knew that she wouldn't get a straight answer from her.

She turned to Heidi who was struggling with her words, because she didn't want to tell her what was going on, didn't want to let her in on their dirty well kept secret. Because that's what really seemed to be the issue here, Peter was that well kept Petrelli secret that had been brushed under the carpet from the media.

**_A_** week passed and she was in the Petrelli mansion playing on the Nintendo Wii with Monty. She still hadn't seen Peter, and had gone to his apartment everyday hoping to find him. Maybe he'd left, gone, fled? That's all she could think of being the reason of him not even showing up to the mansion to welcome her back.

She looked to Monty, who was very into the game at hand, and wondered if he knew about Peter. Maybe the boy knew the secrets that were going on with their uncle,

"Monty…do you know where Peter is?"

For a moment he didn't take his eyes off the game, but continued to look at it with intensity, "Not really."

Claire dropped the controller on the floor with a thud and frowned at Monty, "Why not?"

Were they all in on it? Was it some fun, sick joke that they insisted on playing on her?

He paused the game and looked over to her with a weird expression. He was smiling, but raised his eyebrows at the same time as if thinking, then ended his thought with a sad smile. It was the same sad smile she had, which seemed to run in the family, "He doesn't come see us that often."

And with that said, Monty's attention was back on the TV screen as he raced past her car and won the race. Claire was oblivious to that though, and realized that what he'd just told her might be the first clue to the whole big mystery she was trying to solve.

Again she had been defeated and silenced into oblivion. Claire couldn't think of anything to say or do to make them tell her anymore, and Peter was still MIA. It was all frustrating and made her so angry that she had to sigh to remain calm in front of Monty. It wasn't his fault, and she didn't think it fair to lash out on him.

So she stood up instead and made her way over to Nathan's office, determined to spill out what she was feeling, to him, to let him know that it wasn't not ok, that she _had _to know what the hell was going on…with everything.

Yet when she reached his door and noticed that he was on the phone and his chair was turned around, she paused. She might have been many things, but she did have manners, so she decided to wait until he was finished talking with whoever was on the phone.

But when she heard him say Peter's name, her breathing stopped and she started listening intently.

"Pete, you have to face her some time, she really wants to see you."

So he knew she was alive, knew, but still hadn't had the nerve to meet her face to face, not to embrace her in his arms that she missed and wanted to see so much. Knew that she'd been alive for maybe longer than a week, but he was in on it too, he was in on not wanting her to see him. Did he hate her? Claire couldn't figure it out, all that she knew was that she was back at square one in this whole mess.

"Well I don't know what you want me to tell you, Peter. What do you want me to tell her? That you don't want to see her? You know she's not going to satisfied until she sees you. She'll be ok with it, she's a girl!"

He paused and she could hear him sigh, "Just tell her the truth. If its so embarrassing to you, then why are you doing it? It's gotten you a pretty nice paycheck hasn't it?"

She heard the phone click and he swiveled his chair around to face her. She wanted to run but her feet had her stuck to the marble floor beneath her, and she was unable to move.

Nathan studied her with a scrutinizing expression, and his mouth opened, but all he did was croak for a few seconds.

"So he doesn't want to see me either?" Tears were far from happening before, but now they were filling her green eyes with a threatening glossy field to them, and she was unable to figure out where the sudden sadness she was filled with had come from.

It had been just moments ago that she felt anger and aggression towards her family, but now she was filled with vulnerability and hurt. More accurately pointed towards Peter, who seemed to be taking any means necessary to ensure them both from coming face to face, or at least it seemed that way.

"Claire-"

"Why Nathan? Why is he being like this?" her voice cracked and the barrier was broken, only opening to release her pent up emotions that she'd been holding in from everyone who had been denying her.

"All I want is to see him! Say hello! How are you?"

Nathan stood up and took her into a hug. They stayed like that for a while and she sobbed willingly into his dress shirt, unaware that her mascara was staining his shirt, "Claire, just give it time. He's just-overwhelmed with work right now."

A sniffle escaped her and she looked up to her dad feeling-_dare she think it_- comforted by him, "Really?"

He patted her hair, and smiled, "Yes, but I tell you what. He's coming this Saturday to the benefit we're having here at the mansion. And you'll be able to see him."

She looked up at him with her big emerald eyes that, while they weren't the same color as his, seemed to mirror the passion and love filled within them. It was little things like that that clued in to others that they were father and daughter.

Saturday, that was three days away, and while it seemed like an eternity until she'd see her hero again, she had to remind herself that she'd gone way longer without seeing him, and three days wouldn't make a difference. All that mattered was that soon she'd have her hero, her uncle, and savior again. She'd thank him, and hug him, and it would all just go back to being the way it was before the fire had happened.

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hope you guys enjoyed the suspense! :D


	5. Part IV

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part IV

**_S_**aturday rolled around faster than Claire had anticipated. In fact, the morning she woke up, she was completely unaware of what day it was. Therefore it was completely surprised to walk down the staircase in the Petrelli mansion after lunch and see that there was a transformation being done to the foyer, and from what she could see, the rest of the rooms as well. At first it didn't dawn upon her, and she merely frowned, wondering what was happening, but once she noticed Heidi saying something about a _benefit_ she felt her whole body tense up.

Today was the day she was suppose to see Peter at last. It was a good thing, at least that's what she kept telling herself over and over again, as she made her way back upstairs and into the safety of her bedroom. She locked the door behind her and stood against the door, sliding down until she fell to the floor. It was peculiar what she was feeling, it was fear. A fear of not knowing how Peter would respond to her return from the dead. she wasn't sure whether to address him by 'Uncle Peter' or just Peter, she honestly how to talk to him at all, at that point.

On her bed, something started vibrating, and Claire sprang up, running towards the bed to answer her phone, hoping it would be the only person who could ease her nerves at that moment-Andy. When she saw his name spread across the screen of her phone, she couldn't help at let the sides of her mouth curl into a nearly visible smile.

"Hello?" she breathed into the phone, literally breath taken because she was talking to her Andy again.

She knew he could sense her nervousness on the other side of the line, because he chuckled into the phone, in a way that again, made her weak at the knees, "Well hello to you too"

His voice was hushed, and if she closed her eyes, Claire could vividly imagine his dimples and curly blond hair, that drove her crazy. In fact, pretty much everything about him drove her insane, down to his mild southern accent, that he tried so hard to hide at times. It was a mystery to her why he tried to do that, when it was something she liked so much, and he knew.

"I miss you", she confessed with a pout forming on her face. She was glad that he couldn't see her childish expression.

Again, he chuckled, and then sighed, "I know babe, I miss you too. I wanted to call you and wish you luck today, with your uncle and all"

Claire regained her slumped position against the door again, and sighed, "Oh Andy, I wish you were here. I'm so nervous, I think I may actually make myself sick"

She bit her lip just thinking of what the day awaited her. The one thing she wasn't looking forward to was, hearing someone tell her that unfortunately Peter wouldn't be able to make the Benefit, and their reunion would be held off longer. And what really worried her was that there was a part of her, a large part, that was sure that would happen, taking into consideration his behavior toward her as of then.

"Claire you still there?" Called out Andy, bringing her back from her nightmarish thoughts.

For a moment Claire hesitated, realization hitting her, and she licked her lips, "Hey Andy? I'm going to have to call you back ok?"

"Sure babe"

Without another warning, Claire hung up the phone, and raced out of her room and down the stairs in search of Heidi. The past few days all she had been thinking about had been how horrible her reunion with Peter could go that she had completely forgotten that she did not have anything remotely elegant to wear to the benefit. Which she could already tell judging by the delicacy of the decorations, would be formal attire only.

When Claire finally found Heidi, she was out by her garden again, making sure that the workers were in no way harming the beautiful arrangement that she had worked so hard to maintain herself.

Heidi caught sight of Claire running to her frantically and frowned, "What's wrong Claire?"

"I have nothing to wear"

There was a small reassuring smile that spread on to Heidi's face, "Have you checked your closet? Angela already took care of that. You didn't think she'd leave you to fend for yourself did you? No, she went ahead and made sure you had something to wear-and don't worry, it's not dreadful."

She felt relieved, but wasn't easily convinced. Could Angela really be trusted to pick her clothing? For some reason Claire found that extremely hard to believe. Nevertheless, she smiled and turned her heel to go and examine the mess of a dress she was afraid that Angela had conjured for her.

...

**_A _**mess was far from what Claire was staring at. What stood before her was something she couldn't describe. It was black, backless, yet turtle-neck at the same time, completely appropriate for the event, and stunning at the same time. What ever worry that she had held had immediately evaporated, and all she could think of was to thank Angela later on.

She slipped it on over her head, and looked on to find something wrong with it, but nothing was. It seemed to fit her body type perfectly, and hung to her curves as if the dress had been made for her. Her eyes momentarily drifted back into the closet to look for something, and indeed she saw a box beneath the garment bag which had held the dress, shoes. They weren't just any shoes though, a pair of 5 1/2 Christian Louboutin white pumps. She sighed in happiness, now she's really need to thank Angela.

A sudden knock on her door made her jump, back against her bed. She cleared her throat and murmured for them to enter.

It was Simon, already dressed in his evening attire and chewing on gum, "Mom wants to know if you're going to need her hair stylist to do your hair?"

Claire blinked, as far as she could remember from her childhood, she had never had her hair professionally done. It intrigued her in a way, but scared her as well, she really hadn't thought about how the Petrelli family worked exactly. Then again, she didn't want to look as if she did not belong there, so she nodded and agreed.

...

**_C_**laire smiled approvingly as she looked at herself in the mirror, admiring the simplicity of the hairdo, the stylist had done on her. It was elegant, and chic at the same time. Soft curls bounced as she moved her head, it fit her very well. She liked the fact that they weren't exasperatingly curled, they were almost wavy.

She had already changed into her dress, and was wearing her pumps. All that was really left to do was go back to her room and take one last look, before going down to the benefit that, by what her ears were telling her, had already started. It took all her willpower to regain strength in her legs, from her excitement and fret. Shaking, she smiled and made her way to her room, not stopping to glance down at the people that had already arrived.

Once inside her room, she closed the door and rushed to her mirror for one last look. She wasn't sure, but somehow, she had decided that what she looked like while seeing Peter again for the first time, had become completely important. And with one last look of approval, and a million thoughts and scenerios of how the evening would be, running through her head, she exited her room.

For the first time that day, she felt uneasy with the white pumps, fearing that she would fall down the stairs and embarras herself completely. However, making her posture as good as possible, Claire made her way down the stairs almost too perfectly.

She slowly walked into the large hall in the mansion, and bit her lip, trying not to make herself obvious, while still looking for Peter. Some guests smiled at her, and she nervoulsy smiled back, still searching the room with her eyes, wondering if he was there at all.

And there he was, standing in the corner. Slightly thinner, slightly paler, but more beautiful than she ever remembered him being before. He wasn't dressed like everyone else at party, he looked as if he had come off a runway. He was wearing fitted tailored black slacks, which hung low on his hips, a white button up shirt, and a burburry vest, with a gold watch, which looked to her, to be way out of the price range of _any_ nurse.

Still, he was utterly breath taking, and still incestuously her uncle, yet she couldn't deny herself that he was having some affect on her. For a few moments, only a few, she completely forgot about all her memories of Andy, instead only remembered what it had felt to be running around New York City with Peter, years before.

He was talking to a group of people, very good looking people, but was turned to one blond in particular. Claire couldn't exactly make out her face, because of the distance though. The blond however nodded towards Claire, and he slowly turned his face to meet hers. He didn't look surprised to see her at all, he didn't even seem happy, just curious. Peter turned his eyesight back to the girl he was talking to, and said something before nodding his head, and slowly walking away, in Claire's direction.

On his way towards her, he didn't look at her at all, instead seemed to be trying to avoid looking at her at all costs. It seemed to Claire, as if he was forcing his way over to her, making himself greet her, to welcome her back from the dead.

Those few moments in which it took him to get to her, felt excruciating, as if she couldn't breathe. Even when he finally made his way to her, and was standing directly in front of her, Claire couldn't persuade herself to speak, she couldn't breathe, couldn't even move.

He looked tired up close, and there were faint purple circles around his eyes, but he still looked gorgeous. In a way, he sensed her inability to speak quite yet, and smirked very slightly, only looking more tired, and as if it had taken all most of his energy to do. Her heart went out to him, only thinking of how long his hours as a hospice nurse must have been. He licked his lip slowly once, "So, you're alive after all."

She finally exhaled, and swallowed the shakiness she felt. She nodded once, failing miserably to retain her composure and not look so damn nervous, "You don't look surprised"

His hand made its was through his tousled hair, and he shrugged, not looking at her, but rather her hair, frowning a bit, "I already knew."

In all her excitement of seeing him once more, she'd completely forgotten what he would say about her new darker color. By looking at him, she couldn't tell, his expression was clouded, drifted, he looked slightly bored.

"You look older." he stated monotonously, not commenting on the color of her hair at all.

Claire frowned. Thanks to her resilience, and regenerative abilities, she wasn't able to age at all, and therefore, didn't understand what he meant. He had her powers too she thought, he should have known better. Yet, she took it as a compliment, not wanting to tell herself that the first thing Peter had said to her, had been an insult, "Thanks"

He sighed, and let his clouded eyes study the rest of the room. It was obvious then, that his interest in her had passed, and was looking elsewhere for any escape. It came with the blond he had been talking to before. She approached them slowly, in a catlike form as she walked. it was then, that a small smirk formed on Peter's lips as he looked at her, "Is it time?"

The tall slender blond nodded, and was soon joined by the others that Peter had been talking to only minutes before he had made his way to her. One tall guy in particular, looked momentarily at Claire, but didn't ask anything. He only looked back to Peter and nodded towards the foyer with his head, "We'll meet you outside Peter"

He nodded in agreement, and watched as they all walked away, then turned his eyes back to Claire, and let his smile fall, back into the blank stare he'd had before. She noticed his forehead frown a bit, as if he was searching for what he wanted to say, maybe he wanted to invite her? Wherever it was that they were all going to.

Peter cleared his throat, and vaguely said without sentiment, "I guess I'll see you around"

With that said, he gave her one last meaningless look, and walked passed her towards the foyer, not waiting for her reply.

For a moment she really tried to understand what had just happened, wanted to form some type of logical explanation that would answer his cold behavior towards her, but nothing came. All she could think of was that, in those four years, she was no longer significant in his life. She was merely some relative he had known briefly before moving on, after thinking she was dead.

And then, once that had finally registered in her mind, she felt quite silly being there at all.

* * *

N/A: So Peter _finally_ made his appereance, thoughts? Remember, the more you guys review, the faster the next chapter comes! ;)


	6. Part V

****

Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part V

**_I_**t was raining outside when Claire got up Sunday morning. When she looked out the window she groaned, she really didn't need any rain at that point. But at least, she thought, there would be no Sunday Petrelli brunch for her to have to go to.

Laying on her bed, she thought back to the previous night and groaned into her pillow. She should have known by the conversation that she had eavesdropped into between Nathan and Peter, that he had really no interest in seeing her. The only thing she'd done the night before was embarrass herself. And even as much as it hurt her, she decided if he didn't want to have anything to do with her, then she felt the same way.

She stood up, and walked of her room in a zombie like fashion until she reached the kitchen, yawning. After her less than happy encounter with Peter the night before, she hadn't eaten. In fact, she hadn't eaten at all that day, and her stomach grumbled painfully now.

Her eyes turned to Nathan, who was sitting on a stool, busily reading the paper and eating Honey Nut Cheerio's. For some reason, Nathan seemed like more of a regular Cheerio's person to her, not the sweet type.

He looked up at her from behind his paper, and smiled sweetly, "Good morning."

It was great that he was being so civil and warm towards her, she really did appreciate his effort, but she had to admit it was still pretty new to her. The Nathan she remembered had wanted nothing to do with her, so it was quite a difference to be in front of him now, having him cheerfully greet her.

"Hi," she murmured back, just a little less enthusiastic than him.

"How did your conversation with Peter go?" His eyes had gone back on the paper, and he didn't see the mortification written across her face.

She inhaled deeply and reached for a bowl from the cupboard to join him, not really wanting to respond to that either. It was embarrassing to say the least, and didn't want to share how humiliated she had felt, with him.

"It was-short," she said grabbing the milk and walking around to sit in the next stool, next to him.

Nathan nodded, but still kept his eyes on the paper, "Yes, he did leave rather quickly."

Claire internally groaned, she remembered that, he'd had such a lethargic attitude towards her, it didn't make any sense at all. She understood that they really had only known each other for a few months, but still, that was not the Peter she'd met at all. Not once had he ever behaved that way with her, it was like he was a completely different person.

She swallowed a spoonful of cereal and frowned, contemplating whether or not to ask if he was always like that. But she couldn't put into words what she wanted to say, didn't know how to begin to tell Nathan that Peter was so-cold. So she sighed, and looked over to him, "He was, kind of weird."

Nathan's face snapped over to her, with torment, "Weird? How so?"

It all finally came out, and Claire couldn't help but let out a huge sigh , "It was if he didn't care that I was back at all! And-and he just said hi and left! Without saying he was glad I was back, or anything. Did I do something? Was there something I said?"

Nathan gripped her hand, "Claire, he's just different now, and it's not your fault at all, ok? You have to understand that, Peter's attitude has nothing to do with you. It's-It's complicated."

She tried not to cry, she really did, but it just frustrated her, she wanted to know what was going on. She didn't care how complicated he said it was, it was Peter, she knew there was some logical explanation.

"What's complicated?" She choked out.

His eyes scanned the room, but turned back to her with a small smile, "It's just his job, he gets really stressed out because of it. I guess it's not easy going back to a normal life after saving the world." Nathan half laughed and shrugged.

Claire nodded, it did make sense. She just couldn't grasp why he had taken it out on her, it wasn't her fault that he wasn't out there saving people anymore. It wasn't like his powers were gone, he really had nothing to stop him.

When she looked back up at Nathan, she smiled, letting him know that it was ok, that she understood. He looked relieved, and smiled back, letting go of her and turning back to his paper. But Claire wasn't that easily fooled, she knew there was something other than work that was going on, and she intended to find out.

"Heidi and the kids are going to her parents' house today, and I have to go into the office later on, but you're more than welcome to come with either of us," He said sincerely, still not taking his eyes off the current events section of the paper.

As much as she liked Heidi, spending the day with her parents sounded awkward, as if she were intruding in on something that really didn't concern her, and going to Nathan's office didn't sound any better.

"No, it's ok, I still have some things I have to get ready for before the new semester starts anyway."

He nodded his head as if agreeing, but stopped, "Wherever you go, make sure not to go on the subway, there's been 25 reported assault incidents. I know you're indestructible, Claire, but lets not risk anything, ok?" He smiled at her.

She really hadn't had any intention of riding the subway, but nodded, feeling touched by his concern for her. It was weird, but she was still trying to get use to it all-them getting along so well.

...

**_M_**ost of her day was spent re-packing all her clothes, and organizing her papers that she would need on the first day of school. NYU was really near to the Petrelli Mansion, and even though both Heidi and Nathan had let her know she was more than welcome to stay, she'd decided that what would be best was just getting a dorm at the University.

The truth was, she just wanted to feel independent. She'd learned that you never knew when your family would be taken away, and she wanted to be able to function without depending on them emotionally. It didn't mean she was going to distance herself altogether, it just meant she wanted to live her own life.

But as much as she had argued with Nathan, he had refused to let her have a part-time job while going to classes. He had said that no child of his would have to suffer like that, even if for her, it was just for the necessity of being independent.

She heard the doorbell ring downstairs and frowned, where the Petrelli's expecting someone on a rainy Sunday afternoon? It seemed highly improbable to her.

The ringing persisted, and it dawned on Claire that on Sundays, the entire work crew had the day off. She sighed and got up from her bed lazily, making her way down to the front door. It was still drizzling outside but on the other side, stood Peter. His back was facing her, but she could still tell it was him. He had a cigarette in one hand, and seemed to be lost in the scene in front of him.

When he heard the click of the door, he slowly turned, and Claire swallowed, not sure how it would go this time. He looked at her with one eyebrow raised, which was a little more expression than last time. He took another drag from his cigarette, dropped it and stepped on it, before walking inside and away from the rain.

His hair was soaked in rain, and his bangs stuck to the side of his face in such a way, that all Claire could think about was the texture of it. She wondered how it would feel to simply run her fingers across them. But Peter cleared his throat, and Claire froze, too aware that they were facing each other once more, only this time, they were completely alone.

"Where's Nathan?"

Her chest was pounding loudly, and Claire tried to control her breathing, she didn't understand why she was so scared to talk to him, "He's at his office-at work."

Peter snickered, and looked away, "Figures that he would tell me to meet him here," then he looked back down to her, "Your hair is brown, you know."

Claire nodded slowly once, but didn't say anything. She didn't want to embarrass herself this time, if he was going to be cold with her, then she'd treat him the same way.

A grin grew on his thin, tired face, "Do you want to go eat?"

It shocked her that he was being so- nice to her after last night, it's as if he'd done a complete 180. While she was still mad, Claire didn't want to loose an opportunity to eat with him. Maybe she'd even find out what was really going on. And she also was starving, the cereal she'd had in the morning hadn't really been filling.

"Ok," She managed to let out.

Peter raised one eyebrow up, and looked at her up and down, "Are you planning on wearing that?"

She looked down at her sweats and her old University of Texas t-shirt, then at what he was wearing. Just like the day before, he was dressed exquisitely. He had on a black v-neck, dark jeans, and a black blazer with the collar up, a dark olive, Fendi scarf around his neck, and a different, expensive looking watch.

Claire swallowed and shook her head nervously, "I'll go change."

It really didn't seem right to her that he should look better than her, it was just-unnatural how good looking he was.

She sprinted up the stairs and into her room, trying to think of what she could possibly wear to make her look half as good as he did. But her mind was blank, because the only thing she could think about was the dress she had worn the night before, and she couldn't wear that again. The truth was that Claire wasn't into fashion that much, she didn't have time for it when she was double majoring in law and journalism.

Alas, she found some black skinny jeans that her friend had given to her for her birthday back in Texas, a white long sleeved oval shirt and black flats. It really was nothing compared to how good Peter looked, but it was the best she could do. She pulled her hair into a high ponytail, and put on some diamond studs that Andy had gotten her for her 20th birthday.

When she was finally done, she grabbed a pea coat that Heidi had given her on her way out, and nervously walked down the stairs, biting her lip. The only thing was that Peter wasn't there anymore, at least, not where she had left him. For some reason, it didn't surprise her, she figured he had just decided to ditch the plans instead.

She crossed her arms, feeling her blood start to boil inside of her, but from behind her she heard the bathroom door open. Looking back, she saw as Peter closed the door behind him as silently as possible, and looked at her, a little scared.

They were both quiet, and he bit his lip, looking away for a couple of seconds then turning back to her, "Are you ready?"

Claire nodded her head, and waited as he opened the door and they both walked out into the rain.

To her surprise, there was a cab already waiting for them outside. What surprised her even more was that Peter opened the door for her, and motioned for her to get in first. It wasn't a big deal, but it was still something the old Peter she knew would have done.

Once they were both inside the cab, and Peter had muttered their destination to the cab driver, Claire turned to him, to talk, to exchange a look, _anything_, but he had rested his forehead on the glass, and seemed to be a trance like position, looking out the window. He closed his eyes for a second, and she couldn't help at think how peaceful and serene he looked then.

The exhaustion was apparent, and he looked fragile, yet, it made him all the more beautiful. Her conscious started getting to her then, maybe he had been exhausted the night before? She imagined that being a hospice nurse wasn't exactly the easiest job in the world. So she left him in his silence, and instead decided to pay attention to where they were going exactly.

It took a good twenty minutes, but they arrived outside of what looked to be a very elegant and expensive looking restaurant. It actually intimidated Claire that it was so pricey looking.

She turned to tell him that they had arrived, but he was already up and opening the door. He held it open for her once more, and closed it after she had gotten out, smirking at her slightly, but not saying anything. Claire tried to smile back, but it was harder than she thought.

Neither of them said anything the entire time that they took to walk inside the restaurant.

It was crowded, and there were people who were waiting to get seated. Claire internally groaned, if there was one thing she didn't have, it was patience waiting to get seated at a restaurant. To smell the food and spices, and be hungry at the same time was complete torture.

But, as she began to prepare herself for the worst, Peter walked straight up to the hostess, who's eyes immediately got huge, "Table for two, please."

She nodded, and grabbed two menus, "Right this way, Mr. Petrelli."

Claire stood frozen in her spot, only able to blink. Did the name Petrelli really have that big of an influence in this city?

When Peter noticed she wasn't following, he turned around and raised his eyebrow again, with a tiny smirk, and grabbed her hand, pulling her with him.

* * *

N/A: As you guys can see, I felt so inspired, i just had to write the next chapter :D So please review and you just might get another one tomorrow :D (Credit to Ellie for a wonderful job at Betaing it!).


	7. Part VI

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

_Part VI_

**_T_**hey were seated in a corner booth, away from the rest of the restaurant's busy chatter, completely isolated. It was comfortable, yet intimidating for Claire. She was at a complete loss of what to think of Peter now. She didn't know where they stood after so long.

He looked at his menu silently, but not thoughtfully, not as if he was wondering what to get, because his eyes weren't even moving. They were stuck right on the middle of the menu, again in his serene look, but he slowly looked up to her and very slowly smiled widely, "You're alive."

At first, Claire thought he was joking, it was obvious she was alive, she didn't have to be Einstein to see that, but he finally seemed happy about it. It's as if he had finally realized what it meant and, for a few seconds, it was as if she could see the old Peter in his eyes, but only a few.

When the waitress arrived and looked at Peter, she blushed, and Claire sighed; as if it wasn't already obvious that he was gorgeous.

"It's such an honor to be your server tonight, Mr. Petrelli", she murmured, not taking her eyes off of him. All Peter did was half smile and murmur a thank you, while looking at the same spot on his menu, "Is there anything I can start you guys off with tonight?"

Claire had been so busy examining Peter and his intricacies in her mind, that she hadn't had time to look at the menu herself. Once she did though, her heart nearly leaped at the prices.

"Can I have a water?" asked Peter rather dully.

"Me too," added Claire, liking his safe choice.

He flicked his eyes up to hers and half smirked again, in a way that made her think there was something she didn't know yet. Even when the waiter announced she'd be back with the waters, he didn't take his eyes off her, just smiled.

After a point it was too much for Claire and she had to look away, she felt as if he was reading into her soul with his eyes, "So...I guess having Nathan as your brother makes you known around town, huh?"

Peter frowned for a second as if confused by her question, and looked away a bit, then back at her, with his smile gone, "Yeah, I guess so."

Silence consumed them once more, and Claire turned to watch other people. Some girls a couple tables away were giggling and staring at Peter. It didn't surprise her, not only was he the Congressman's brother, but he was hot, she understood that. It did annoy her though, it seemed like every girl that they'd encountered so far was completely taken with him.

"Peter?" her trembling voice called him. He merely blinked his eyes and looked at her, waiting for her question, "Why did you stop saving people?"

And there it was, that look, that incredibly serene and clueless look that he had. It was calming, and even made her feel more at peace, but it was blank at the same time, it held no wonder or thought, it was hollow.

"Well, it didn't pay the bills", he confessed, chuckling softly and looking down. But like always, his wondrous eyes made their way back to hers, and his voice got serious, "And it really wasn't the same without you."

Until then, there really hadn't been anything close to him saying he missed her, and that said it all. Somehow she knew she'd been wrong before, she could feel that she was partly responsible for the change in him. Her false death had done something to him, something terrible, and it was visible in his eyes. She wanted to smack herself in the forehead for not having seen it before, it was almost as if part of him, that part that went blank, was missing.

She suddenly wanted to apologize, say sorry for having caused him to lose part of himself when she died, but all she could mutter out was, "Oh."

Claire was thankful that at that precise moment the waitress made her way back to their table with their waters. She needed a distraction from the sadness he had brought her. Not that it meant that Peter had removed his eyes from her, they still rested on her face, which was honestly starting to bother her.

"Have you guys decided what you'll be having?" asked the waitress, still blushing and staring dreamily at Peter.

Peter raised one eyebrow at Claire, waiting on her to order first, but she had no idea what she wanted. Not to mention that everything on the menu was completely out of her price range. On her budget, she figured that the only thing she could truly afford was the water she was drinking.

Still, they both looked at her, and she thought to herself, that if worst came to the worst, she could always use the credit card that Nathan had given her. She would pay it back of course, and it was only one meal.

"Can I get the clam chowder, please?" she handed her menu back to the waitress, who was now looking at Peter.

He though, had not taken his eyes off of her, "Make that two."

The waitress looked back at Claire and rolled her eyes, before turning on her heel and walking off with an attitude, Claire frowned and looked to Peter, "She's rude."

All he did was shrug in a sluggish way, and finally looked away, scanning the room slowly, "It happens sometimes."

She sipped her water to give herself something to do, and to calm her nerves, because they really still hadn't gotten anywhere. There were a lot of things she wanted to ask him, and was curious about, but she just didn't know how. She didn't even know if she was allowed to ask, were they back at that point yet? Where they could ask personal questions? She felt that if she did, she may break the frailness that he already was.

But there was something she could ask, something that had been troubling her the last few days, "If you knew I was alive, why didn't you ever go see me?"

He looked at her hard and long, blinking a couple times, "I did."

"I don't remember ever seeing you though," she said, rather confused.

Claire remembered then, as she looked at his face, how many times he said he'd loved her sad smile. And she finally knew what he meant, because she realized that all Peter's smiles were sad. She was starting to figure him out slowly.

With the tip of his finger tips, Peter circled his glass of water, but didn't drink from it, merely used it as a prop to try and steer away from what she wanted to talk about. He exhaled and looked up to her after a few minutes, "I walked right by you, and you didn't even glance at me," he snickered, but his voice softened, "You didn't know who I was, Claire, and you looked really happy. Who was I to take that away from you?"

"But you could have helped me remember, Peter, I would have been happy! You could have told me the truth!" She hissed angrily, not wanting any more prying eyes from other people, it was already enough that half the girls in the restaurant were googly-eyed over Peter.

He only shook his head though, and frowned looking down at his glass of water again, "It was too late by then. There wouldn't have been anything I could do."

Claire opened her mouth to protest, but at that moment, the waitress showed up with their soups. Claire internally growled and sat back against her seat, glaring at Peter. She hated how he was so cryptic. It would have been simpler for the both of them if he just came out with the truth for her. She knew she'd find out eventually, and didn't see the point of him prolonging his silence.

"If you guys need anything else, just call me", smiled the waitress at Peter, who merely gave her a nod. He looked down at his soup, and Claire noticed him swallow, as if the food was disgusting him. He looked away from it, and bit his lip.

"Are you ok?" Claire asked, trying to sound as normal as possible.

He blinked repeatedly and smiled, looking around, "Yes, great. But-I'll be right back"

Before she could protest, he had already stood up and was walking away, towards the bathroom. But as the smell of the soup filled her nostrils, all thoughts about Peter went away, and she began to eat her soup.

...

**_T_**hey didn't get very far that day. Throughout the rest of their lunch all they talked about was Nathan and Angela. Claire didn't know whether it was because he no longer had anything to say about being happy to see her, or because he just wanted to avoid the subject completely.

He had taken her home that day after lunch, and had been just as anti-social as the night before. It was utterly bizarre, and Claire didn't know what to make of it. But, she figured that she'd have to get use to it, it just seemed to be the way he was now, his moods were simply unpredictable.

When Claire had gotten to the Petrelli mansion, Angela was waiting for her. She didn't look happy, and she didn't look upset either, it was a look Peter would use, and she could see where he got his expressions from. He had mastered them from Angela.

Angela looked out the glass stained doors and into the cab where she had been sitting with Peter, "You went to lunch with Peter?"

It was more of an accusation rather than a question, but Claire still nodded her head. The tone of voice that Angela was using scared Claire, it was reprimanding, and she hadn't even done anything wrong, at least she thought she hadn't.

Gracefully, Angela turned around and headed into the formal living room. Claire didn't have to hear her name to know that she had to follow Angela.

Once they were both seated, she waited. If there was something about Angela Petrelli, it was that she never spoke without having something important to say, and she always chose her words carefully.

See, the thing about Angela was that she knew her importance, she knew what she was, and she demanded respect.

"What did you talk about?" she asked straight out. Angela wasn't one to beat around the bush.

Claire inwardly sighed, not really knowing how to respond. She didn't want to tell her what they talked about. It wasn't an intimate conversation they'd had, but at the same time, it was. Those precious words they had exchanged were for them only, not for her to know. Somehow, she knew she'd pay for it later, but she decided to lie, it's not like the Petrelli's hadn't done that to her.

"About school, and his work, how he went back to being a hospice nurse."

Angela raised her eyebrows, looking amused and surprised, "Oh, really?"

The bio grandmother stood up and walked to the arch of the living room, and stopped, turned around and smiled at Claire, "It's a shame, we all thought he'd tell _you_ the truth."

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you for all the lovely reviews! and Ellie for beta-ing it! :D The more reviews, the faster the updates ;)


	8. Part VII

****

Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part VII

**_S_**ometimes, Claire wondered if Peter was a vampire. She didn't share this theory with anyone, but she had to wonder why, he was so similar to one. For one, she only ever saw him on gloomy days, or at night. Which only fueled the fire to her less than realistic thoughts. There was also his sunken eyes, the fact that he never seemed to ingest anything in front of her, and he was breathtaking, and beautiful. Don't get her wrong, he'd been hot before, but now his attractiveness was just beyond any type of definition she could give.

But thirdly, it was just his aura, there was something sinister about him, but at the same time so serene and inviting. Quite honestly, she was starting to become obsessive over him, not in an attracted way, after all he _was_ her uncle, but, because he was so mysterious.

She'd learned that Peter's appearances at the Petrelli mansion were sporadic, and she really didn't ever know when to expect him. He always seemed to be working and away from the city. Claire hadn't known before that hospice nurses also traveled so much. She just supposed that Peter was in demand.

After the Sunday that they'd had lunch, Claire had seen him a total of four times, in a one month period of time. He'd been cold and impassive mostly, but there would be those seconds, and those looks he would give her, that would assure her, that the Peter she was looking for, was still there somewhere. And even though he got more hostile at times with her, his sensitivity and caring towards her began to show more. It felt as if she was dealing with two Peter's rather than one.

At the moment, they were at another Petrelli brunch, that he'd actually had been persuaded to attend somehow, by Heidi. Claire was jealous of her, she seemed to be the only one that Peter could communicate to, and hold a conversation with. Of course, their conversations were always private ones, and occasionally Heidi would even caress his cheek with her finger tips. Claire didn't want to think much of it, she really wanted to believe that it was all quite Innocent, but it didn't look that way at all.

"When does the fall semester start at NYU Claire?" Asked Nathan, bringing her out of her dark questions. She looked around the table, almost everyone had their eyes on her, except for Peter of course. He was merely pushing his food around with his fork, not really seeming to eat any.

She looked away and tried hard to remember what she'd been asked, "Um, September. I think?"

Peter shifted in his seat and sighed silently, but even from across the table, Claire could sense his boredom. He looked exhausted to her, she really just wanted to lay him down and make sure he slept for a long time, she didn't want him to be in any kind of pain. She really hadn't known being a hospice nurse was such hard work for him.

"Have you set everything in order? You know, Peter attended NYU, didn't you Peter?" Nathan eyed him with interest, which took Claire by surprise. From what she could tell, their relationship was somewhat strained now, not that anyone mentioned anything. They were Petrelli's, of course they wouldn't talk about feelings, and issues.

It seemed to take him a great deal of effort, but he nodded his head, and managed the smallest of smiles to Claire. It was strained, and felt forced by the look of how he had his hands in fists, but it was still nice.

"I bet Peter could tell you more about the university", commented Heidi looking over to him and smiling secretively. It was really starting to disgust her how they had some type of intimate look between them. It wasn't right, didn't they see that Nathan was there?

Claire took a big breath, and looked back down at her eggs, trying to focus on something else rather than the uncomfortableness of them. she wanted nothing more to be away from the table then, to be some where, that didn't feel tense and cold. Truly, what she wanted was the feel of Andy's warm protective arms. She missed the feeling of them, she missed his dimples, the green glint in his eyes that mirrored her own, she missed his muscles.

"That's only if Claire wants to", Nathan looked at them sternly. Did he know? Was he trying to warn him with his eyes? Her heart went out to him momentarily, aching hurting at the pain that they seemed to cause him.

Then the three of them turned to her, waiting. She swallowed, "Uh-sure"

The brunch only lasted a few minutes after that. It went silent, and Peter was the first to leave, almost tripping as he hurried to get away from Claire as she stood up. But as he passed her, the wind threw his scent towards her, making her momentarily dizzy. His scent, made Andy's smell like sewer water. Peter's was pulling, it was smokey, sweet, the slightest hint of an expensive cologne, it drove her insides into knots.

She breathed to steady her heart beat and followed him inside, confident that the lightheaded-ness that he'd caused her would go away. What she needed was to get to her room, away from everything else, away from the possibility of feeling the rush again.

But before she could take the first step towards upstairs and into the safety of her room, her name was called from behind her. It wasn't his name, and she was relieved, that it was Nathan's, she couldn't bare the thought of how she'd react if the person that had been calling had been Peter.

"Yes?" she responded in what she hoped was an even, and steady voice.

"You don't have to take any advice from Peter, you know that right? You don't have to talk to him, if he's bothering-" Nathan raged on, scarily concerned for her well being.

Claire frowned, more confused than ever. It was is if he was telling her not to talk to Peter, not to like him, to stay _away_ from him.

The secret that divided them was more clear than ever to her, there was something that had happened, or was happening which had distanced them, Claire could see that now. And it saddened her, she remembered clearly how close their bond had been, how much they had relied on each other in their distant past. There had been no one else in the time of threat that Peter had thought to go to than Nathan.

Claire smiled, "Don't worry Nathan, I like hanging out with Peter"

It was half a lie. She wanted to hang out with Peter, but she didn't like it much. It was always an uncomfortable silence, it wasn't at all what it had been before. It was a struggle now, a struggle on both their sides.

Her smile seemed to put him at ease, and he nodded, "Are you heading up to your room?"

She bit her lip unintentionally, "Yes. I have a headache. I think I may take a nap"

Going into details of where her headache had been created, wouldn't do her well.

Nathan seemed to buy her lie, and nodded once before turning and disappearing into the living room where Heidi and the kids were. She felt guilty at that moment, they had invited her into their home with open arms, and instead of appreciating their presence, she shyd away from it, hid herself in her room.

When she reached her room, the only thing she could really think of doing, was calling Andy. He was the searchlight in her when everything seemed darkened by the secretiveness of the Petrelli's. he was a reminder of what her normal world was outside of the city. It was incredible how dependent she was on his voice, on his laugh.

She dialed his number, already feeling the ache to hear his low husky voice, and it came, but in the form of his voicemail. Andy had never not answered her call, he was always there, he was her one constant.

Claire was abut to call his home phone, hoping that she'd succeed, but a single knock on her door momentarily made her forget.

"Yes?" she asked, hoping it wasn't Heidi. she wasn't sure she'd be able to talk to her, not after she'd seen the secret flirting in her eyes directed towards Peter's scared and anxious ones.

There was a moment of silence, and Claire thought that whoever had knocked had decided to go away, but then Peter's voice rang clear and soft, "It's me"

It was two simple words, but somehow those two words ignited the uncomfortableness in her stomach again. It churned as if she were hungry, but she knew it couldn't be that, not after having eaten brunch.

"Come in"

Peter slowly pushed the door open, and closed it behind him. He walked towards her bed, and laid across it, but was sure not to look at her directly.

His blankness had come back, and Claire inwardly sighed, knowing it was not good.

"I'm sorry Claire."

_That _caught her off guard. An apology was not what she had foreseen, when he had entered her room.

She frowned and looked at him, _really_ looked at him, "For what?"

He blinked then, for what seemed to last for seconds, and licked his lips. His breathing was slow, and he kept his eyes on the ceiling, "I should have saved you from the company. I should have known you that you weren't dead."

Claire couldn't help but break out in a smile. Was that really what his indifference to her was about? Was that why he had been avoiding her? out of guilt? It lifted her somewhat to know that it hadn't been because he didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

"So you don't completely hate me?" she asked unable to suppress the grin from her face.

Peter turned to her slowly, sloth like, and frowning, "No, is that what you thought?"

In that moment she really didn't know what came over her. Maybe it was the same feeling she'd felt when she was sixteen and unintentionally formed a small crush on her hero, but she jumped to him and grabbed him in a close hug. By the way he responded she could tell that he'd been completely shocked, but still wrapped on of his hands around her waist tentatively.

When the moment had passed, Claire backed away and smiled, feeling whole at last. She hadn't thought that her mood had been affected that much by his attitude towards her, but she'd found out that it had been completely him that'd had her sullen.

But then there was the silence again, only now it was filled with nothing to say. Though there was one thing Claire was curious about.

"So-I know it's none of my business, but-You and Heidi...it's a bit obvious, don't you think?"

Peter frowned at her, "Me and Heidi?"

Claire rolled her eyes, "Oh come on Peter, I saw the way she was looking at you! And Nathan, you could totally tell he knew."

He shook his head and smirked, "It's not what you think at all. Heidi's just very-understanding. She really tries to help, you know? And Nathan...he's just-he just isn't as compassionate about my job"

"But who wouldn't understand you being a hospice nurse? What's his problem with it?" Claire flared outraged.

He frowned again, "Hospice nurse?" he lapsed, "You really don't know do you?"

the look on his face was of half relieved, and half scared. Claire shook her head slowly, "I-that's what you were before all of this happened-I just assumed...It made sense to me?"

Her bed moved then, as he sat up, but slouched looking at her with his famous crooked smirk, "You don't know."

Claire shook her head, and frowned childish like, "No..."

Her Nessa seemed to lift his spirit, and he caressed her cheek, like he'd done so long ago. The touch of his soft cool hands brought back Claire so many nostalgic memories, of running with him, saving the Innocent, jumping from high buildings, Getting burnt inside burning buildings...

The last thought made her blink, it made a knot form in her throat, but she swallowed it, and turned up to meet his glossy hazelnut eyes, "So, what do you do?"

he retracted his hand and put it through his hair, "God, I thought you would have known. Girls usually do. But I guess...Well, I mean-I don't want to be rude, but it just doesn't seem like your thing"

Claire crossed her arms, and raised and eyebrow, "My thing? What are you? A strip dancer?"

Peter chuckled softly, and shook his head, "I like this-you not knowing. We could make it a game."

"A game? Peter that's pathetic, just tell me!"

He shook his head, and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, "No. This will be fun, it shouldn't take you long, although, I hope it does"

"Is it that bad?"

He sighed, "You have no idea"

"Mobster?"

"No"

"Assassin?"

"No"

"Kindergarten teacher?"

Peter snorted, "Claire, be real. Can you imagine me as a kindergarten teacher?"

"You're right. You never know, one of the kids could get you mad and then you'd burn down the classroom." Even before she finished her sentence she knew it'd been a mistake by the hurt in his eyes. It had only been meant as a joke, nothing more, but she saw how the memories still tormented him.

He stood up from her bed and caressed his arm, with the other one. Claire noticed then, his frailness, his vulnerability, the raw pain that she had caused him.

"Oh Peter, I'm sorry-I didn't mean-"

"I should go-I shouldn't be here. Nathan won't like it."

Something inside of Claire erupted then, "what's Nathan's problem with you?"

Peter turned, but it was no longer the hurt of their memories that was etched on his perfect porcelain face, it was something else. There was something haunting about it, something that brought sadness to him, "It's nothing Claire...nothing"

They stood still for a few seconds like that, not saying anything, but just trying to communicate with their eyes. His bangs were tucked behind his ear, and Claire hated it. She liked to see them covering half his face, it was how her old Peter had been, not this alien one.

She had been so transfixed on his beautiful face, that she hadn't seen him move towards her, and hold her face in his hand again. His fingers weren't as warm as Andy's, but they were smoother, and softer. she had always been fascinated at how for a man, he'd had such soft skin, but then again, Peter wasn't just any man.

He bent down and Claire closed her eyes. The thought of her uncle kissing her should have been grotesque, wrong, but she still closed her eyes, inviting it, waiting for the touch of it. But when it came, his lips touched her forehead softly. And he turned, leaving her in the middle of her room. Claire realized then, that something far worse was happening, something that she might not be able to help at all.

hope you guys enjoyed it! :D


	9. Part VIII

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

_Part VIII_

August seemed more like february to Claire. It was constantly drizziling, and cloudy, and it should have made her quite depressed, but the anticipation that Andy was going to visit her, seemed to take center stage and made her forget about the weather. But it didn't take the anxiety away, when it came to Peter. Nothing ever seemed to make her forget about him these days.

It had been another week, with out him making an appereance. Heidi explained to her, that Peter had alot of work, they liked his work, he had many clients. As to what his job was though, no one would tell her. They all seemed rather surprised she didn't know, sying it was obvious and right in front of her face, but claire just couldn't see it.

Was he a cab driver? She saw those alot, but knew that the thought was ridiculous. Peter was much too perfect to be a cab driver, and she doubted that he'd be able to afford a Penthouse in the Upper East side with a cab driver's salary. No, his job was something else, something that she knew wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. It was something she knew she'd understand, if he'd only tell her.

Claire sighed as she looked out the window from the car that Nathan had insisted she use to go to the bookstore. With nothing to do, but wait around and hang out with her half brothers, or for Peter to pop in for an unexpected visit, Claire had decided that reading would do her some good. There really wasn't a book that she was itnerested reading off the top of her head, but she figured that it would be easy just to pick a book off the shelf once she got their.

As much as she liked reading sometimes, bookstores made her uneasy. It was so intimidating to be sorrounded by mountains of books she knew she'd never have the chance to read, it made her sad in a way. Who really had time to sit around and read all that?

Once they'd gotten to the bookstore, Claire gaped at it. It was two stories and stood in the corner of the busy street. Yes, it was the most intimading and haunting bookstore she'd ever been to. It was weird to feel a dislike and to feel frightened of it at the same time.

She made her way inside, careful to get wet by the rain. It was warm, and inviting, and she could smell the coffee coming from a small section of where the cafe stood. It wasn't as crowded as she had thought it would be either. It was quite empty actually, which lifted her spirits even more, she liked the emptiness of it. As she made her way to the Fiction area, a guy hunched over in a seat caught her eye, his hair actually had caught her eye. No matter where she went, Claire could never forget Peter's hair. It was quite possibly the thing she liked about him the most, and she hated to think of what would happen if he ever cut it, it was just so beautiful.

He seemed to be completely engrossed in what he was reading, with his eyebrow slightly furrowed. Claire looked at his honey eyes and saw the intensity of them scanning the page as he read. His left had was grabbing hold of the seat he was in with such force that his knuckles were white, and he was shaking a little.

The thought of Peter being in any pain brought hurt even to her, she didn't like to see him suffering, even if she didn't know what it was.

She slowly made her way up to him, trying to shy away the butterflies that had formed inside her stomach. It was weird that he had such an affect on her, she'd had it before. When she'd first met Andy she'd felt the butterflies all the time, but they hadn't ever been that intense, that strong. What she felt now was complete euphoria that Peter brought her. It made her dizzy, and and bubbly all together.

Claire was only a few feet away from Peter, but he had yet to notice her, all his concentration seemed to be on the book that was in front of him. And when she called him out, he snapped up, with a scared expression, hiding the book behind him.

"Hi", he let out rather curtly, roughly putting his bangs behind his ear. Stress, worry, and anxiety was etched across his face clearly, making his pale skin look almost translucent. He looked sick, and his lips were dry, he grimaced slightly as he swallowed, "What are you doing here?"

He bit his lip hard, frowning. There was something odd about the way he moved too, it wasn't like usual when he was slow and graceful, he was edgy, and his movements were jerky.

Claire knew that asking him if anything was wrong wouldn't really do her any good, no matter how curious she was. So she sighed and looked around then back at Peter, "Just looking for a book. What are you doing here? I thought you were suppose to be out working or something?"

Peter scoffed, "No, that's just what I told mom. No-I-I've had a few days off"

Awkward, that's how Claire felt. she'd thought that after their conversation in her room, that they'd be able to talk freely without reservation of anything, but it seemed to her that it wasn't that way at all. Not as long as Peter continued to be secretive, "So I had another theory"

A little smiled appeared on his lips and he looked down at his slightly shaking hand, and tried to hide it between his legs, "Oh-Really?"

Claire nodded and sat next to him, crossing her legs and putting her elbow on her knee, so that it held her face. she felt her behavior change around him, in a way she normally wouldn't have acted. She inched closer to his face and smiled, "Well it's not really a job, but I have another theory about you"

She really hadn't meant for it to come out in such a whisper, but then again what she was thinking wasn't for others to hear, "But I was hoping you'd just read my mind instead. I dont think you'd be thrilled if other people heard", she murmured.

Peter blinked, "Well, why don't you tell me instead? I don't want to have to read it-because you know, that's private and all"

Sighing Claire rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, why do you have to be difficult? Just read it already, you'll laugh!"

Peter looked away from her eyes and bit down harder on his lip, while his eyes moved at lightning speed through out the room. His eyes finally rested on his hands and spoke softly only for her to hear, "I can't."

"Stop being so damn polite and just read what I have to say Peter!" she hissed angrily.

He sat up a little straighter, and blinked his eyes which were becoming glossy again. His breathing was harder and he looked at Claire with his saddened expression, "I can't Claire. I can't read minds anymore"

Incomprehension shook over her. Claire didn't understand how it could be possible. How could one of them simply, stop being able to do something? And surely it didn't mean his other abilites as well? She hated to think of exactly how frail he would be with out her ability. It frightened her at the mere thought of him being exposed to danger without it.

"But...", she was truly at a loss for words, "How?"

Peter shook his head half irritated, half disgusted and muttered, "I don't want to talk about this right now. I don't. You weren't even suppose to be here"

He stood up and grabbed the book he was reading, making sure she wouldn't be able to see the cover. Claire stood up with him, but it was too late he had stormed away in a matter of seconds, with out even saying goodbye.

Again, Claire was in the dark. Another secret she hadn't even known he'd had, another one she would have to pull out of him, and another one that would keep her up at night and torment her. She didn't want to think that all of his abilities were gone, and if they were, why? How? When had it even happened? Peter was never suppose to loose any of them, without him having them, she felt slightly less safe in the world.

Suddenly the desire to read evaporated into thin air, and Claire stormed out of the book store, quite unsatisfied.

...

**_W_**hen Claire got to the Petrelli mansion, the only person that was there was Heidi. Normally she'd be happy to see her, she'd like her presence, but at the moment it only unnerved her even more. Because Heidi was more aware of what was happening with Peter, she knew more, he actually told her things. It was clear that as far as someone to confide in, Heidi was it for Peter.

Trying not to scowl at the sight of Heidi, Claire hung her coat and weakly said hello without glancing at her. She had every intention of walking up the stairs and away from her, but something stopped her. Curiousity got the best of her and she halted, clicked her tonge against the top of her mouth.

Claire turned her heel and walked into the livingroom where Heidi was busy re organizing family pictures. She stood still next to the framing of the room and crossed her arms, "Did you know?"

Heidi smiled sweetly up at her with a slight frown on her beautifully caref for face, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand your question Claire."

It took a great amount for Claire not to growl with anger, because, how could she not know what she was talking about? Wasn't it obvious?

"Peter. Why didn't you tell me he'd lost his abilities?"

Heidi's smile turned sad slightly, and she sighed, "So he told you?"

Claire shook her head and exasperated the air she'd kept inside for a little too long. She slumped down on a seat next Heidi, "No, I basically had to force it out of him. All he told me was that he'd lost the ability to read people's minds. But I figured, that if he lost that, then it must mean everything right?"

"He didn't loose them though Claire, he chose not to have them anymore", she gave her a sympathetic look, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this-"

There it was again, the secrets that no one ever seemed to want to let her in on, it disguested her. Why did no one trust her in telling her the truth?

"Heidi, I can't take this. You have to tell me! I'm tired of not knowing what's going on with him. I saw him at the bookstore. He looked scared, hurt, like he was fighting some internal battle"

At last, as Heidi sighed, it seemed like she gave in, "You're right Claire. You should know, since it does pertain to you"

"What do you mean?" She sat up straighter, frowning a bit.

"The reason Peter doesn't have his abilities anymore, it's because of you"

Her heart leaped. She was to blame for Peter giving up his abilities? She was the sole cause of the pain he was enduring without them?

"But...why?"

Heidi bent forward and took Claire's hand in hers, "When he thought you died Claire, he was filled with so much guilt. And you know how Peter is, he took all the blame himself. He hated himself for a long time, you know how you two were always attached at the hip, it was really hard for him to live with the guilt of starting that fire", Heidi paused and shifted a bit, "The Company came to him with an offer. They told him that they had come up with something that would take away his powers so that he would never be able to hurt anyone again. It was cruel what they did to him Claire. But he gave them up for you, he said you always just wanted to be normal, and that he didn't deserve them, that someone like him wasn't suppose to be given such abilities"

Claire retained a sob in her throat,"But he loved them...He loved being special."

With a shake of her Head Heidi continued, "Not after you died. He loathed having anything to do with that world. He left all that behind right after you died. You have no idea how his life changed because of your death. It really damaged him."

So it was really all her fault. She _was _the cause of his unhappiness. That was why he'd been so cold to her in the bookstore, it made him angry that he had given them up for nothing. But it was also her fault that she'd put the idea of being normal into his head.

Peter was never meant to be normal, he couldn't be. Claire didn't know how, but she'd find a way for him to have them again, he'd be her old Peter again.

* * *

N/A: I know I know, Peter's a big confusing mess. But don't fret! It will ALL be out in the open soon. and you guys will find out what his job is :D


	10. Part IX

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part IX

_**A**_fter his confession about his abilities, Claire didn't see Peter for another month. It would have been unbearable, was it not for the fact that Andy was visiting her and helping her get settled in to her dorm.

As soon as he'd gotten off the plane, and she'd seen him, all the worry about the Petrelli's and what they were hiding from her vanished. All she thought about was running into his strong arms and finally feeling normal.

She breathed in his scent, remembering how it had driven her crazy before, it still did, just a little less. When she let go of their embrace, she hid the disappointment, Claire didn't want Andy to think anything was wrong. Not when she finally felt happy with him there.

Introducing him to Nathan turned out to be much easier than she expected. He seemed to like Andy right away, and raised his eyebrows when he mentioned he was studying medicine in UT. It couldn't help that he had a certain southern charm to him too. Polite, a bright future, and extremely handsome, what wasn't there to like about Andy?

He made sure to pull out Claire's seat when she sat down, and hold her hand, but in a respectful way in front of Nathan, it was simply perfection to say the least.

It was like he was her own Edward Cullen from _Twilight_. Then, the thought made her sigh, because that was breath taking all on it's own. There wasn't anything that Andy could do at this point to look bad, he was simply too perfect. She had to wonder what she had done to deserve someone as caring, and understanding as he was.

Andy was without exaggeration a complete gentleman, and even Claire knew that they didn't come by that often. Even now as he helped her pack her clothes, she had to sigh occasionally. It wasn't fair that he was that Handsome.

At one point during their packing, Claire paused and made her sigh so loudly that Andy couldn't help but turn and chuckle. He walked over to her and Claire traced his built arms with her fingertips lightly. He had a nice tan from the constant sun in Texas, she missed it.

"What's that about?" he teased, making sure to show his dimples just like she liked.

She couldn't pinpoint the words right then, so she merely stared at his dazzling face a bit more, "it's just that you're so-"

But before she had a chance to finish, a tall pale figure appeared by her door, completely stoic once again. At that moment whatever emotion or anticipation she had felt for Andy upon his arrival was quickly forgotten. Instead, the feeling that took over her body was so overwhelming that everything literally went dark for a few seconds, before Andy revived her by shaking her a bit.

In front of her stood Peter, with his bangs gelled back, a black thin sweater with a collared shirt underneath, and black pants. he looked simply stunning. So stunning in fact, that she couldn't really talk at all.

All Claire could do was stare at Peter for a few seconds, taking him in. He was long and thin, and pale. His lips were slightly pink, but looked softer than hers. And his scent, his scent had taken over the room completely. She tried to understand what had brought the sudden change, but there wasn't any explanation, other than a silly theory have of her had made, and she was pretty sure it wasn't _that_.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked politely, eyeing both of them and their proximity.

Since she still couldn't talk, Andy smiled, and stepped away from Claire a little to greet Peter, "You must be her Uncle, it's nice to meet you Mr. P-"

Peter stood up straight away from the frame and caught him in mid sentence, "Peter, my name is Peter. You must be Andy, right?"

Claire frowned slightly, through all the times that she had hung out with him, she never once remembered bringing up Andy to Peter. And the way he was acting, it was polite, just like Andy, not like Peter at all. But it was only his behavior that had changed, not him. He still looked tired, and worn out, the bags were still slightly noticeable under his eyes, and he was slow like a sloth again. It should have bothered her, but she figured that at least it was better than his edginess at the bookstore.

"It's great to finally meet you, Claire has said wonderful things about you", smiled Andy, always the gentleman. Claire blushed, and finally pulled her gaze from Peter, hoping he wouldn't see her flushed cheeks.

"Oh did she?" She looked up at him for a second to see him smirk, with a glint in his glossy eyes. "Well I was hoping to steal her away for a while. If that's ok with you Andy?"

It was extremely bizarre how Peter's behavior was. Not that he wasn't nice, because he was nice, he was just never this...civil. Claire blinked wondering if her eyes were deceiving her, after all, anything was possible these days.

Andy looked at her momentarily then up to Peter with his own calm and beautiful smile, "Of course. I have to finish some of her things anyway"

Claire opened her mouth to object, but Again, Andy silenced her, "Don't worry about it Claire, I want you to go enjoy yourself, you deserve it."

She frowned momentarily, and looked at Peter, "Um, can you wait downstairs?"

Peter gave her a single nod, and gracefully turned to leave. Once he was gone, Claire turned back to Andy, "I didn't want you to come so you could slave away while I go out", she argued.

He simply kissed her forehead and caressed her hair, "Claire, I've had you for four wonderful years, I'm not selfish. And he's your uncle, you told me yourself how close you guys use to be. I can share, and when you come back I'll give you a surprise"

Claire groaned, "I hate surprises"

"I know, but I actually think you may like this one", there was a twinkle in his eye. It was gorgeous, but not nearly as much as Peter's, which made her momentarily frown at her thought. It wasn't right for her to think that way, Andy was always suppose to be number one. He still was, but why was Peter always lingering in her thoughts as a threat to Andy?

Claire rolled her eyes and sighed, kissing Andy lightly, "You really are too nice to me, you know that right? I promise I won't be back late"

She grabbed a gray sweater that was at her side, and her purse and sprinted down the stairs. As soon as she caught sight of him in the foyer, her body shivered, and her heart beat fastened for some unknown reason.

"Are you ready?" he asked her softly, with the tiniest of smiles on his godly face.

Claire mumbled an inaudible mhm, and squeezed through the door by his side. She trembled as he touched her slightly, sending a electric shock through her.

This time their wasn't a cab waiting outside for them, but a black car with a driver, Claire frowned, he didn't look familiar.

As they both got into the car, Peter explained, "I just got back, from-work."

Claire nodded once, still a little uncomfortable. She still remembered the last conversation they'd had, and the one that followed with Heidi afterwards.

Peter seemed to catch where her hostility was coming from and smirked, "I promise I'll behave myself today."

She crossed her arms and looked out the window, "Where are we going anyway?"

Making himself comfortable on the black leather of the seat, Peter sighed, "Well first we're going to go to the bookstore, then a few other places...Any new theories you'd like to share with me?" He asked grinning.

His job, she still didn't know, and as much as she wanted to say that it annoyed her, it also fascinated her. What could be so bad that he didn't want to tell her?

Then Claire remembered what she'd wanted to tell him at the library, "Well...I do have a couple, but they're really far-fetched."

Peter shrugged, and moved slightly, "I want to hear it regardless."

It took a deep breath for Claire to gather her thoughts and stop the shaking in her hands. As always his scent always distracted her, it was unbelievably distracting, as if he smelled good on purpose. She was starting to see why all the girls around him swooned for him, "Well, I don't really know how to say it, except that-well, I think you're a vampire sometimes Peter"

For a second Claire thought it had been a mistake, because he was very still and his frown seemed to take over his face. But within seconds she knew it was only an attempt to suppress the laughter that battling to come out. Eventually it won, and Peter was in hysterics, laughing like Claire hadn't seen since, he was her Peter, years ago.

After a while he calmed down and smiled at her, "You were right, that was far-fetched. Again you're wrong, and for that, I think you should get punished and I should get a prize"

Claire kept her arms crossed securely, "We never discussed punishment and prizes! You don't make the rules!"

"Oh but I do, it's my game, so we play by my rules", he smiled devilishly at her, although it was still quite charming.

**...**

**_P_**eter opened the door for her as they exited the car and walked into the same bookstore where they'd had their argument.

"Do you have a book in mind?" he asked her as they mad their way inside the store and away from the windy streets.

Claire bit her lip, there was always New Moon, the sequel to Twilight. Just thinking about it made her heart flutter, Edward Cullen in those books was the perfect man, and reading him, was like slipping away into another world where he and she only existed, only _she _was Bella Swan in the book, and her picture of Edward Cullen was An...She frowned, picturing someone completely different, but shook it off.

"A couple", she mumbled, suddenly soured by her own thoughts.

Peter didn't seem to notice though, and smiled a little at her, "May I suggest something?"

She sighed, but nodded, wondering what book Peter could possibly recommend that she'd actually liked. It just seemed so...improbable.

His perfect teeth flashed in his crooked smile, and he suddenly turned, Claire followed his lead, not quite sure where he was headed. But when he finally stopped in the regular fiction area, frantically searching for a book with his eyes, she rested a little. At least he wasn't looking in the Murder and Mystery section. That would have been torture.

It took him a few minutes, but then he stopped and his face turned from a frown to a smirk, as he removed the book delicately from the shelf. She looked at the cover, a girl in Mary Jane's and white knee length socks was standing next to shoes a thermo and some pants that were folded delicately under the shoes, _The Time Traveler's Wife_.

Claire frowned, she didn't know why but it sounded really familiar. She frowned, it seemed almost as if the book was connected to her a life time ago.

Peter put a hand up, "Now I know you never wanted to read it. But I'm asking you one last time Claire, I promise you'll find it to your liking", he seemed tense, scared about her rejection.

She looked up at him curiously, "You asked me to read this before?"

Peter blinked and cocked his head to the side softly examining her face, as if looking for any trace of a lie, "You don't remember?" His voice was both soft, and pitiful, "How is that possible?"

Silence crept it's way in, like it had before, and they simply stood still, staring at each other. But it was Claire that broke the intense look between the both of them, "Well, for whatever reason I didn't want to read it before, I don't care. I want to read it now Ok?"

With his frown still in place, Peter nodded, and sighed, looking away for a bit, "So what was the book you wanted to get?"

A smile made its way to her face so fast that it made Peter laugh, "Oh it's the sequel to Twilight, It's called New Moon, it's just breathtaking Peter-"

They had started walking, but an idea stopped Claire right in her tracks, and she turned to look at Peter with a shocked expression, "I will read your book, but under one condition."

He frowned, suddenly becoming suspicious of her, "And what's that?" he asked slowly.

"You _must _read _Twilight_"

"What's it about?"

Claire shrugged, "Just your usual vampire teenage angst romance action novel"

"Oh well, yeah just your typical book"

When Claire eyed the stand with the books she skipped over and grabbed a copy of the book for Peter and the sequel for her. She handed it to him with a satisfied smile, "You're going to love it Peter, it's totally emo, just like you!"

A soft chuckle came from his lips, and he rolled his eyes at her, shaking his head, "You don't remember that you loathed the thought of reading _The Time Traveler's Wife_, but of course you remember the association you formed with me and _emo._"

Claire shrugged her shoulders, all of a sudden remembering the intimacy and relationship they had formed years ago. It seemed almost like they were in their natural habitat again, "I can't help it. One look at you and my head screams emo. I mean take the bangs for instance, that's _so _emo"

Her hand couldn't help, but reach across his face and delicately tuck some of his strands of hair behind his ear before continuing, a little softly this time, "Why did you keep them? You always hated how they got in the way. I thought the only reason you kept them was because I threatened to find some way of castrating you if you ever did?"

Peter shuddered and closed his eyes for a second, "Don't remind me, please." He opened his eyes again, and looked at her a little softer, "I thought it was what you would have wanted-for me to keep them. So I did, but now...It's just part of what I do. I think I'd actually get in trouble if I cut my bangs."

A gasp came from Claire, and she shrieked, almost as if she still was just sixteen, "I have another theory!"

"Ok", he blinked his eyes, and swallowed, a little scared that he might just given himself away.

She waited a little until she composed herself, and then Claire calmly stated, "You're a hair dresser."

It was killing him not to laugh, but he suppressed it and just smirked at her, "A Hair dresser? Oh god Claire, you're so oblivious."

There was a couple girls watching them from a corner, and giggling again. And every once and a while they would steal glances at them, but mostly just at Peter. He turned to look at them and sighed, frowning a bit and looked back at Claire, "I envy your complete disregard for my situation."

"Why can't you just tell me Peter? I can take it! I won't think of you differently, I promise not judge you. Even if you're a-a-Oh god you're not a male prostitute, are you?"

The fact that he was immensely quiet and fearful looking scared Claire. Could her empathetic, sweet, loving and caring uncle have become a male prostitute. She waited for him to answer, all the while completely still and unable to breath. Just by looking at his face she felt as if it was yes, and that he was just too ashamed to say it out loud.

He blinked a couple times, and sighed slowly, "No, but I might as well be."

Claire cringed, "That bad?"

Peter nodded, but turned his saddened expression into a devious smirk, "But you guessed wrong again Claire, so that's a total of two points against you. I'll have to think of a punishment."

"Ugh, you can't do this to me Peter. HEY! You can't do that either!" Claire struggled to get her books from Peter's lanky arms, as he set them on the counter to pay.

By the smug look on Peter's face, Claire knew that it was no use fighting. He'd get his way and pay for her things, regardless of what she said. But it still bothered her that he could be so easy going about it.

"Look at it this way Claire. I've missed three of your birthdays, I'm just going to make it up," He shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal.

Claire inwardly sighed, Peter Petrelli could be a true prince when he wanted to be.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know things were going to be explained, but I thought that what they truly needed was a break from the angst, to reconnect a little. :D


	11. Part X

****

Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part X

_**T**_hey decided to go for coffee in central park after their shopping at Borders. It was chilly, but Claire's sweater was enough to keep her warm. And truly, all her attention was on Peter. It was weird to see him finally ingesting something. She found it quite unnatural for him.

But she guessed that sooner or later he did have to eat, not that it was often judging by how lean he was. He'd been thin years ago, when things had been normal, and they both still had their powers, but now, not it was a bit scary at times. He really did look like he was on the verge of being unhealthy.

Claire wondered what it was, what had consumed him into loosing weight, and looking so tired and pale all the time. Was it his secret job, that he was determined for her not to find out? She guessed that only time would tell, but she knew her patience was thinning.

Her eyes went to his cheeks, they were slightly pink due to the chilly breeze that passed through them. It was the only hint of color that made him look alive, and she smiled bringing her hand up to his face.

"Your skin is unnaturally soft", she caressed his cheek.

Peter smirked and kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her fingers, and murmured, "It's called moisturizer Claire"

Claire brought her hand down laughing and shaking her head, "You are_ so_ metro-sexual."

He frowned and sipped from his coffee while muttering, "I know plenty of guys more metro than I am. I can't help it."

"Let me guess...You know them from your job right? Well what is it? Do you work at a gay club?" By now they were just ridiculous guesses that were spurting out of her.

One of his eyebrows shot up, and he smiled cockily, "Do you want to add more points Claire? Because you're at three now."

Slouching against the bench they sat at, Claire groaned, "I just don't see it. I have no clue-I'm clueless!"

"I like it, you aren't superficial", he stated simply, with that his beautifully hazel glossy eyes.

Claire suddenly stood up totally shocked, and pointed at Peter, "I know! I know what you do" she cooed.

Peter swallowed, the worry clear in his eyes, "OK, what is it?"

"You Peter Petrelli, are a facialist", Claire grinned, proud of herself.

There was a moment where Peter's face was completely blank, and then he sighed, "Four points"

Claire groaned.

"I don't see why it's even that difficult. I feel bad that you don't know now. Not because I want you to know, but because it's not natural for a girl to be this clueless about these types of things"

She cocked her head and gave him a sour look, "Well I bet no girl's had to deal with you the way I have"

He shook his head, "You're right, not the same way." His eyes stayed on hers, as if trying to communicate something, but Claire couldn't tell what it was. With his telepathy gone, that type of communication had ended for them.

Bringing up the topic wasn't a smart thing to do. Claire knew that it had the potential to ruin their good mood, but she knew that it had to be done. It would come up eventually, so why not now?

"Peter...how did they take your abilities away?" She bit her lip worriedly.

A bitter scoff came out of him, "How did I know you were going to bring that up? Well...just pills. I took pills everyday to make them go away, to destroy them in me."

"Pills? So nothing painful?"

His eyebrows both shot up surprised, "That, was painful enough Claire. It was..." He looked away a bit, then back at her, "A mistake."

The guilt grew inside her again. He was right, it was her fault. If it hadn't been because he thought she was dead, he wouldn't have ever forfeited his abilities. He wouldn't have ever hurt, he wouldn't have felt the guilt. Her lip trembled, and she tried to swallow back the unevenness in her throat, as she softly whispered, "I'm sorry."

He perked up again and smiled, "It's not your fault Claire, not at all."

It made her feel a little better, but only a little, because deep down inside her, Claire knew that it was at least partly her fault. Nevertheless, she gave him a small smile back.

He stood up and reached out for her hand, "Guess where we're going next?"

She shrugged, trying to shake off the guilt she was still feeling, "I have no clue...where?"

His smug smile had come back completely, and his crooked grin spread through his beautiful face, "Shopping."

Claire froze. If there was one thing that she was bad at, it was shopping. She hated trying on stuff, hated showing people, hated waiting and looking. It sent a wave of nausea to her head, and she suddenly felt the urge to throw up.

"No please, anything but that!"

He cocked his head at her, "Claire. Enlighten me, when was the last time you went shopping?"

She grimaced, "Um...well I'm not sure I understand the question"

"Point Proven."

_..._

_**B**_efore she had a chance to object again, Claire was standing in front of the Christian Louboutin boutique on Madison. She cringed just imagining the prices. She had no experience in expensive brands, but knew there was a reason for the fact that she didn't. She couldn't afford it.

She tried explaining herself to Peter, but he just shook his head in protest, claiming that it was still technically his day to make up for her past birthdays, and as much as she scowled and glared at him he wouldn't give in to her protests.

"You're going to enjoy this Claire, you _are_ a girl."

The feel of his skin as he took her hand and walked her into the store abruptly made her forget about her snide response. Instead what she felt spread through her body, was a sense of calmness and euphoria again. It was weird how the smallest touch of Peter made her feel a thousand different ways.

Once they were inside, something came over her completely as she saw the exquisitely crafted shoes that stood on display. For a second she forgot about her disgust of shopping, and simply marveled at what stood in front of her.

It also helped that peter kept smiling at her, and his smiles made her smile, "So...what do you want?" He eyed the selection himself.

"Gosh Peter, I don't even wear _heels_."

"Well luckily for you, they also have flats and sandals. Claire come on, just let me do this OK?"

She groaned and shook her head, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

A salesgirl took notice of Peter- _of course_, and immediately started helping them. Suggesting anything from Stiletto's to flats, and every pair that she tried on, Peter seemed to like, which meant he wanted to get it for her. She had to admit though, she had found some very nice shoes, and she could honestly say that shopping for shoes wasn't so bad with Peter.

It actually amazed her how he had patience for her, and how he gave his honest, and some how unknown expertise on which shoes he liked for her and why.

Claire really didn't want to think about the amount of money he'd spent on her in the store. What made it really difficult though, was when he announced that they'd go to Barney's next. She knew what Barney's was, heard a lot of stuff about it, but never would she imagined that she herself would go step foot in the store.

It really seemed to Claire as if he was having more fun than she was. He seemed to be truly enjoying their little shopping expose.

Before Claire knew it, it was time for dinner and they had made their final purchases at the Chanel boutique on 57th. Claire was sure that she now had a complete new wardrobe thanks to Peter. Even though she was pretty sure it had cost him a small fortune. He never complained though, just marveled at every item they decided to get for her. He truly did make her feel like a princess, not matter how many times she told him it was all dumb.

They ended their perfect evening at Mr. Chow's. Claire hadn't thought anything about it at first, because Peter had simply stated that it was Chinese food. But once they had entered the through the doors, she knew she should have known better than to expect a .99 cent per entree restaurant. No what Peter had taken her was fine cuisine, and quite intimidating at that.

As always, once they sighted Peter, they were attended almost instantly, and given a booth in the corner, just as he requested. The restaurant buzzed with light chatter, and the lights were dimmed. In any other situation, being there with a guy and spending that whole day had it been a date, Clare would have describe it as the best date ever.

But it wasn't a date, it was Peter making up for her birthday, and of course there was that slight problem that he was her uncle. Still, Claire could see he definitely knew how to sweep a girl off her feet.

She thought about it for a few seconds and sighed, drinking from her Shirley Temple. That was one thing that he'd refused to buy for her, alcohol, but when she thought about it, it was kind of sweet in a way.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, focused on her completely.

Claire blushed, but hoped he wouldn't be able to see, because she couldn't tell him why she was sighing, not really. How could she explain that this was the best date she'd ever been on, even though it wasn't a date? So she settled for something a little more subtle, "You dazzle me."

He smirked, "Dazzle?"

She nodded her head and slowly ate the cherry from her Shirley temple, "This would have been the ideal date for any girl, except me of course. I just think it's amazing how amazing you can be when you want to. Then other times I get scared, like at the bookstore last time, you were so hostile. I just don't get it?"

The smiled faded from his face, and he looked around the restaurant as if gathering his words together, trying to sort them into a valid explanation, "Well, back then-I was trying to fight some stuff. But I figure, fuck it, I don't have the self control for any of it. So I'm not going to, I don't think I really ever had a choice anyway."

Claire frowned, "What were you trying to fight?"

Peter smirked, "When figure out what I do, I might tell you."

"Well then that means never, because I've guessed everything, and haven't seem to guess the right thing yet."

Their food arrived and the lack of food through out the day suddenly seemed to hit at her stomach. The noodles she ordered were mouth watering, and all Peter could do was laugh, as he also ate, slowly.

_..._

**_W_**hen the car pulled up to the Petrelli mansion, Claire was truly sorry the day was over. She had never really had such an interesting day with anyone else, even Andy. And as much as she didn't want it to be over, the old Peter from that day at the library was coming back.

He was still polite, but she could sense some unsteadiness in his eyes, as he looked at her and the mansion. It was also in the way that he swallowed and she saw that his lip quivered.

She looked over at him, "Are you going to come in?" The driver was busy unloading her purchases and handing them to the Petrelli butler at the same time.

A sad smile crept over his face, "No...I don't think Nathan would like that right now. Besides, I have to get to the airport in a while, I have a job out in Italy"

"But you _just_ got back", complained Claire, a frown rapidly growing on her face.

Peter leaned forward and lightly touched her now darker hair, "I know. I'll be back sooner this time, I promise."

"You really shouldn't work so much, you need to take care of yourself Peter. You look sick", she said searching his face, hoping to convince him to stay.

"Don't worry about me, ok? Like I said, I'll be back soon, and then you won't be able to get rid of me", he chuckled opening the door for her, and helping her out of the car.

Claire sighed and rolled her eyes, mumbling something under her breath that she hoped he hadn't heard. He looked at her for a bit, and kissed her cheek smiling, "I'll be back soon."

He didn't hug her, and that bothered Claire. She didn't understand how it was easy to kiss her cheek, or pull on her hand. But hugging her was still out of the question for some reason.

As he got back into the car, she shook it off, and told herself it truly didn't mean anything. That the only thing she should be concentrating on was the fact that she once again had her old Peter back, just with some slight differences.

Everything was perfect then, just how it should be. Therefore it was only natural that Claire had no idea, that soon, things would go terribly bad again.


	12. Part XI

**Cesia Illuser:**LOL I figured that Claire hating shopping would be something she'd actually do. Thanks for reviewing beth!

**yami1616:**Is he? hmm you'll find out below! Thanks for loving it!

**elenwyn:**lol yes you can call him cute, cute is inevitable with Peter :D Don't worry about the 'bad' thing, all stories can't go smoothly without bumps right?

**Graver:**Aww thank you! You don't know how much that means to me! I try to make all my stories different (it would be pretty monotonous if they were all the same, wouldn't it?) Is he a model? you'll find out below finally!

**an italian's girl:**LOL! a company ordered male prostitute would be VERY funny lol, i guess you have to wait and see if you're right. thanks for diggin it!

**everybodysmile:**TWILIGHT!! AHH I love that book! (calms down) I actually started the series a week ago! can you believe that? I already read all three books! One book a day LOL. But i don't think i'd read it around chapter 5...that was pure me :D thanks for reading!

**P.S.**if you guys go to my live journal, there's a huge surprise for you guys! It's about bobn! :D

* * *

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XI

**_C_**laire didn't know how, but somehow, Nathan had managed for Claire to get the dorm to herself. She stood in the middle of it, looking at how Andy had already taken everything from her room and transferred into her dorm. He'd done a wonderful job, but then again, Andy never did anything only halfway through.

She looked up at him and grinned,"It looks great Andy!"

He smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders, grabbing her hand softly, "I guess you want your surprise now don't you?"

In all the excitement she'd had the day before with Peter, Claire had completely forgotten that Andy had promised her a surprise. If anything she would have thought that him remodeling the room would have been her surprise, he knew she hated big surprises.

"What is it?"

Andy smiled his dimples at her and whispered into her ear, "I'm transferring to NYU in February to join you."

He slowly moved back to see her reaction. Claire didn't know what to make of it. Of course she wanted him to go to school with her. She'd missed him terribly the last couple of months that she'd been in New York with the Petrelli's. But there was something lingering in the back of her mind, something that actually made her uneasy about his move.

She saw the bangs, the hazel eyes, the pale skin, crooked lip, and remembered the feeling of his touch on her. Claire swallowed and tried to flush away those thoughts and concentrate on what Andy was telling her. She managed to form a convincing grin, and jumped into his arms.

But her smile fell as soon as her face what out of his sight. She wasn't sad that he was moving, it thrilled her, she loved him. But it scared her that a small part had pictured Peter's face, she didn't like that at all, and she didn't want to think about what it meant either.

"When did you decide this?" she asked breaking from the embrace and plastering the false facade of happiness.

Slowly, his hands made it on to her face and caressed her cheek, she nearly melted at his tenderness.

"I couldn't stand to be away from you Claire. I thought I'd be able to at first, but I'm completely infatuated with you", he kissed her softly on the lips.

Yep, he definitely was her very own Edward. She didn't know how she ever could have doubted it before. At least she hoped that if she repeated it enough to herself, she'd believe it again. It wasn't difficult, before she had gotten to New York, he had been her universe, all she had to do was remind herself of that. Remember that nothing would ever change the way she felt about him. No one would.

...

**_O_**ut of everyone in the Petrelli family, Claire liked Heidi the best. It was just easier to talk to her. But she decided that was probably because she hadn't been born a Petrelli to begin with, it had been by marriage.

"So when do your classes start?" asked Heidi as they both set the table for dinner.

Usually it was the job of their maid, but Heidi always insisted on doing small things like that. She said it kept her sane, when it was obvious she didn't really have control of anything else that happened in the house.

"They start on Tuesday. Did I tell you that Andy is transferring? He's coming in February", radiated Claire. She was one hundred percent convinced that what she had felt before had been wrong, everything was under control at that point.

"Well that's wonderful. Nathan will definitely like you spending more time with Andy", she said as she straightened the utensils on the table.

Inwardly Claire glowered, knowing what was coming next. she knew exactly what Heidi meant and why exactly Nathan would be thrilled about her spending more time with Andy.

Still, for some unbeknown reason to her, Nathan held a grudge against Peter. She wasn't exactly sure why that was, but it was certainly starting to annoy her. From what she could see, Peter really wasn't doing anything wrong, unless it was his job that didn't like.

"What's Nathan's problem with Peter?" asked Claire, with her teeth gritted.

Heidi smiled sympathetically to Claire, and shook her head, "Nathan doesn't have a problem with him. He's _worried_ about him, we all are. Have you spoken to Peter lately?"

Claire sighed, and shook her head curtly, still not convinced by Heidi, "I think he said he had another job in Italy."

One of Heidi's brows rose and she cocked her head at Claire, "So he decided to tell you what he does?"

She froze, of course Peter hadn't decided to tell her anything yet, he was Peter. But maybe, just maybe if she went along with Heidi, she'd be able to get something out. It was worth a shot.

So she slowly nodded her head, "Yup, he did."

After setting the last soup spoon down, Heidi smiled up at Claire, "What do you think? Not nearly as horrendous as you thought, is it? I think it actually suits him, don't you?"

Maybe it would actually be a little more difficult than she thought. She held in her breathe, thinking about her next strategic move. After all, if she made a mistake then Heidi wouldn't tell her what his job was at all, and Claire was simply tired of being in the dark.

"Yeah, it really does. Um, how long do you think he'll be at this-job?" She concentrated on keeping her voice steady. Claire was a horrible liar, if she looked at Heidi straight in the eyes, she'd immediately give herself away.

Heidi didn't seem to catch anthing though, and continued with making sure the center peices were placed properly, without bringing her eyes up to Claire, "Oh I really don't know. But if he's gone to Italy it's probably going to be a few days, they like to keep him around. What really takes a toll on him though is fashion week. It absolutely _drains_ him."

_Fashion week_? Claire wanted to mentally hit herself. She understood now why he said, she was so oblivious, why he expected her not to know, she wasn't exactly an expert when it came to fashion. Well, she supposed that at least it narrowed it down quite a bit. Maybe he was a personal assistant to some famous designer.

Maybe he _was_ a designer.

Looking back at Heidi, she tried to keep her breathing even, "He works a lot."

A scoff came from Heidi, "That's an understatement. He's _obsessed_ with working, it's all he's been doing while you were-well you know. He always tried to keep himself busy. I guess he just never wanted to give himself time to think about the past. That's why I'm _hoping_-we're hoping, that it'll all change now that you're here."

Claire rubbed the Tiffany's bracelet he had bought her in her hand. It was just a tiny momento of their day out in the city shopping. She couldn't believe how much sense it was all starting to make.

...

**_P_**sychology. That was her first official class, and as he sat in the huge classroom, she felt intimidated by the other students as they all walked in and sat down around her.

She hadn't really slept well the night before, fearing what today would bring her. Throughout her school years, first day jitters had always seemed to follow her where ever she went. So naturally, they'd followed her all the way to NYU.

Just the name made her stomach go crazy. Of course, that could also have been because she hadn't ha breakfast. She hadn't been able to fathom the idea of ingesting something with all her nerves.

A Couple girls sat in front of her, giggling away, and talking about some new pictures of a brand that had just come out. Not really wanting to hear any of it, Claire put her head down on her desk.

Maybe, if she tried really hard to think of just Andy, her nausea and nerves would go away she decided. She pictured his green eyes, beautiful smile, and his dimples. It made her sigh to think of his dimples, and she was starting to feel little better.

All of the apprehension she was feeling was just a few moments away from leaving her body, she could feel it. That was until she hear the girls whisper the name, _Peter Petrelli_. She wasn't surprised they knew who he was, most girls she'd met so far did. But his name still made her stomach ignite with butterflies, it annoyed her. She didn't want to feel them, at least not at the mention of _his_ name.

The blonde in front of her squee'd, "Did you hear Ally? He's going to do the new campaign for Giorgio Armani! He went like last week to Italy to do the shoot!"

The brunette put a hand to her mouth in surprise, and Claire listened more intently, "Oh-my-god. I _totally_ heard he has a new girlfriend! I read on **_Perez_**that they were like having a romantic dinner at Mr. Chow's! And that they like went shopping. Can you imagine going shopping with Peter Petrelli?"

She and Peter had gone to Mr. Chow's too, she mentally thought, and frowned. Just how many girls did he take there? She blinked the thought away and continued to listen to the girls.

One of them took a magazine out, and scanned through it, "Look at him! He looks so good in Michael Kors!"

_Michael Kors_? Claire had no idea what they were talking about. But against what her better half was telling herself, she sat up, and cleared her throat, "Excuse me?"

Her voice came out stronger than she had expected, and both girls turned to look at her, a little perplexed.

"I just heard you guys talking about Peter"

The blonde nodded to Claire, "Peter Petrelli, the model."

Claire's breathing paused, and she swallowed, "The model?"

She placed the GQ magazine they had been looking at on Claire's desk. Claire took a moment before she looked down. But once she did, he was right in front of her. Her heart stopped as she looked at the picture.

He was wearing a popped up collared shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, and a few of the front buttons unbuttoned. He was sitting against a designer looking sofa and his beautiful bangs covered he front of his face, like a perfectly sculptured man. It was truly incredible how gorgeous he looked, like a god, perfect.

It all made perfect sense to her now. The reason why he'd gotten even more amazingly good-looking than before. His clothes, the money, the apartment, his shopping expertise, it _all_ made sense.

She repeated it to herself...Peter was a model.

...

**_H_**er first day at NYU had been rather hazy to say the least. After the shocking revelation in psychology, Claire had been completely dazed. She wasn't even sure how she'd made it back to her dorm safely, without being run over.

But as soon as she'd gathered her sanity back, she'd instantly hailed a cab and had driven over to the Petrelli mansion. She hadn't even waited for someone to open the door for her. Instead she'd barged in and started looking for Heidi, to reveal to her that she actually knew now.

She spotted her outside tending to her beautiful garden, and Claire stood still frozen, next to her, sitting down on the stone steps was Peter with his back to her, smoking a cigarette slowly.

Heidi had a hand on his back, and rubbing it, like a mother would do to her child to make them feel better. She couldn't help thinking how vulnerable he looked, even if she couldn't see his face. He was slouching and Heidi kept whispering something into his ear. She couldn't hear it but it looked reassuring to her, because Peter nodded his head.

And suddenly, she felt jealous again. After all it had been _her _who'd Peter always talked to before the fire, her who he'd share his troubles and secrets with. They'd both been the black sheep of the Petrelli family, and had only had each other to vent to.

She couldn't stand to see him intimatly talking like that to Heidi, who had known all along about his profession too.

In a slow moment Heidi drew in closer to Peter, "You said you've been trying, you have to keep trying."

He nodded again, but Claire heard the unsteadiness in his voice, "It's just harder now. I never knew it would be this hard."

Claire rolled her eyes. Now that she knew what his profession was, it kind of annoyed her to think about how much he complained about it. It wasn't half bad, it paid well, he was gorgeous, and the way he had posed in that ad she'd seen had made it look effortless.

She cleared her throat as Heidi was about to say something, and they both turned round. Peter looked shocked to see her there, but Heidi of course smiled and stood up.

She looked from Peter to Claire, "I'll leave you guys alone to talk." She gave Peter a look, and Claire sighed, she was really going to go crazy over the Petrelli's and how they communicated, or _didn't_ communicate.

As she walked past Claire, she squeezed her shoulder, and walked into the mansion, giving them privacy. Claire sat next to Peter, and at first all they did was exchange a murmured 'hey', to each other.

There wasn't one way that she could think of to start a conversation. Now that she knew what he did, it just threw everything off balance for her, confused her. She had so many questions, how? why? when? But those were just the minimalist of her questions for him. The question that she wanted to ask him was, why had it been such a tough question for him to tell her? Why hadn't he wanted to?

He took a couply more drags from his cigarette, and slowly turned to her, "Heidi told me you knew what my job was."

Claire groaned, she'd hoped he wouldn't bring that up, "Well, I hadn't-_then_. I was just hoping she'd slip and tell me what it was. But I did find out this morning"

His eyes didn't leave hers. It intimidated her when he looked her like that, even if they were blank and hollow.

"So what is it?"

She took a deep breath before continuing, "Model."

A defeated sigh escaped him and he looked out into their backyard again, "How did you find out?"

"Michael Kors ad in a GQ magazine"

His cocky smile slowly came back and he turned to her, "You were reading GQ?"

Claire rolled her eyes and shook her head, "It's a _long_ story. I'd really rather not go into specifics."

Peter nodded his head, and looked out again, away from her face. He was still pale, still exhausted looking, but there was something else. He looked very sick, like he hadn't slept much, like there was something haunting him in his mind, and he was unable to break off from it. He looked miserable, and it made Claire feel slightly bad too, it affected her to see him like that.

"Are you ok? You don't look so good", she said, still keeping her distance. Unlike Heidi, she didn't feel the closeness enough to rub his back, or hold his hand. They still hadn't reached their former level of closeness.

He frowned a little, as if trying to fight the battle inside him to tell her, "I don't feel so hot."

_'You're way more than hot',_ crossed Claire's mind, and made her smirk. But she knew it wasn't the time or place to make such comments on his incredible looks.

"Do you want something to eat? Maybe it'll make you feel a little better? I make _the_ best chicken noodle soup", she said proudly, smirking a him.

Peter laughed, but shook his head, and stood up. From up close, Claire could see how clammy his skin looked. But once the wind blew his scent into her nostrils, she closed her eyes, taking it in. He still smelled divine, it didn't matter how sick he was.

"I should get going. Nathan'll probably get here soon, he won't be too happy to see me", he mumbled as he started walking up the stone steps.

Claire huffed and rolled her eyes, "God! What is it with you and Nathan? What's the big deal? You guys are so immature! Can't you both get over whatever it is already?"

"It's not that simple Claire. And it's not even _me_ that doesn't want to get along with him-I do. But, he has every reason to be mad I guess. Who wants a brother for a model anyway, right? It's superficial."

They were both inside the Petrelli mansion now, and getting close to the front door. But Claire didn't want him to leave quite yet, something about him leaving alone left her uneasy.

"Wait, Don't I get a prize for guessing?" She asked, making her eyes extra big in plea.

He smirked as he put his jacket on, "You really want a prize? Ok. Come to my apartment on Friday. I know _you_ know where I live, you and Heidi did _break_ in. Bye Claire."

She blushed as he closed the door behind him, and there was his scent again, it completely knocked her off her feet. Friday, for some reason it brought butterflies to her stomach thinking about the day. Claire frowned though, butterflies weren't good when it came to Peter, they were bad.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I was going to make it longer, but I decided to have their little 'date' in the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it! :D Feed my muse and review please!

-Ari


	13. Part XII

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XII

**_T_**he one disadvantage of not having any girl friends, was that in instances like the one Claire was, she didn't have anyone to give her advice on what to wear. Not that it really mattered what she wore, she supposed. It was still Peter, regardless of whether he was a model or not. And he was sure that he wouldn't care what she wore.

Plus, it wasn't even a date, so she couldn't understand why she was stressing so much over what to wear. She'd thought a few times about asking Heidi's opinion, but she didn't know what she'd think about her trying to look nice to go over to Peter's apartment.

She ran a brush through her hair for the fiftieth time, all the while trying to make the butterflies in her stomach go away. It was easy to get distracted with Peter on her mind. For the first time she as actually happy he didn't have his abilities, she couldn't imagine what her excuse would be if he could read in her mind that just the smell of him made her whole body shiver, those weren't the types of feelings you were suppose to feel for your uncle.

As she looked at the mirror, she bit her lip. she was wearing a white chic dress from Stella McCartney. It wasn't dressy, but it wasn't completely casual either, it was sort of an in between thing, and he'd picked it out. It was sleeveless, and loose, with it tightening around her waist. She put a sheer ivory cardigan on top-she wasn't completely comfortable with it being sleeveless, and accompanied it with white flats.

Peter hadn't really given her a specific time for her to go over, but it was already five and she figured, it better to go earlier than later. Later would mean more of a dinner date, and she didn't want him to think that she thought it was that.

She grabbed her coat before going outside and wrapped her arms around herself tightly. She wondered what Andy would think of her hanging out with peter. But she sighed, of course he wouldn't think anything of it, it wasn't anything. He was her uncle, it was just a familial get together, that was all.

Claire gave the taxi driver Peter's address and swallowed, praying to god that their evening would go pleasantly. What if she completely embarrassed herself? Or he thought she looked stupid? Or what if she wasn't even dressed right? But what worried her most of all wa the possibility of him standing her up.

Of course, that was ridiculous she reminded herself, because it wasn't even a date. Just a small get together, so she could obtain her reward. That was it...But why did it feel so different? She asked herself. Why had they way he had said it, made her think something else?

When the cab reached his building, she breathed in deeply and paid the driver before exiting. It was sort of chilly because fall had started, so she wrapped her coat around her tightly and quickly walked into the building.

...

**_O_**nce she got to his door she froze. Her breathing was unsteady, she was shaking a bit, and her heartbeat was too fast. She didn't know whether it was from the apprehension of seeing him, or because she had hurried to get to his apartment. She didn't give it any thought as she knocked on his door though.

After she knocked, she took a step back waiting. For a few horribly long seconds nothing happened and she didn't hear anything. Right away she was sure that he wasn't there and he'd definitely stood her up. But slowly, she heard soft footsteps coming from inside his apartment and towards the door.

Claire swallowed preparing herself for him. She smiled as he opened the door, only he didn't. He frowned at her, and cocked his head to the side in curiosity, "What are you don't here?"

He hadn't said it harshly, but the fact that he didn't remember that he'd invited her over-that was harsh.

"You told me to come over...remember? My prize?" She searched his face. The bags under his eyes were almost purple, he was paler than she'd ever seen him before, and he kept looking past her, jerking his eyes around, as if expecting someone else.

The hollow look was back in his eyes, and he seemed to be shaking a little, "Oh-yeah. Right now is not a good time Claire."

She blinked, "Why?"

Peter sighed, and gave her and irritated look, "It's just not. We'll do it some other time, ok?" He gave her a brief, insignificant smile, and closed the door behind him. Leaving Claire standing in the hallway completely shocked.

At first, she turned her head to the side, trying to understand what had just happened, but all she drew was a blank. After a few minutes she figured, she looked pretty stupid standing there and staring at his door. She slowly turned around and started walking away, unable to understand him.

...

**_H_**alloween was approaching, which meant that the Petrelli's would have their ball. Of course, Claire dreaded it for several reasons. The first was, she wasn't into Halloween and couldn't think of what to wear, secondly, it involved dancing, and she wasn't really coordinated when it came to that. But the last reason was that Andy wouldn't be able to attend.

It wasn't at all to do with a certain _Model_, she told herself. In fact, she'd even decided not to say his name at all, and understood why Nathan was so annoyed at him all the time. Well-not that- but she didn't want to think about him, or the mere fact that he might be there, and maybe this time not remember who _she _was.

Claire chewed on her pen cap, she really was trying to concentrate on her English Lit. homework, but what she all she could think about was, what exactly was she going to wear?

There was always the angel costume from Romeo & Juliet, but that was a bit cliché by now. She groaned, what was the necessity of Halloween anyway? All people did was dress up, watch scary movies, and eat as much candy as they could before making themselves sick.

Sighing, she eyed her New Moon book, and a smile grew on her face. Maybe there was something she could dress up as, an inconspicous costume, that she would use. She was already a brunette, the only thing was that she'd need contacts, but that was an easy fix.

She shut her textbook and sprang up, running to her closet, suddenly the though of Halloween excited her. She only wished that Andy could be there o be her Edward Cullan.

Of course, when she looked into her closet, nothing fit the description of what she wanted her costume to be. Everything was designer, and had been bought by the _Model_. When she'd gotten back from his apartment, she'd actually considered throwing everything away. She still wanted to, but the fact that she wouldn't have anything left over to wear, well- that was a problem.

Next to her bed, her cell phone started going off. Her heart leaped, she knew exactly who it was, and as she made her way over to check the number, she grinned, "Hey babe."

"Hey, I miss you", he breathed into the phone in a way that Claire could picture him smile. A small flutter erupted in her stomach, making her blush.

Miss was the understatement of the year. There wasn't anything she wanted more in the world but to have him by her side, in his secure arms. He was the only person she felt safe with anymore, and the only one that made her truly happy.

"Me too", she sighed into the phone, literally wishing he was there with her. Everything was simple when he was near her, all complications just seemed to slither away.

There was a pause before he spoke again, "Are you alright? Is something bothering you?"

She could think of a million problems that she had, all starting with a certain someone. But she didn't want to ruin their phone call mentioning him. Until he apologized, he wasn't worth her time at all.

"Yeah, everything is great."

...

_**I**_t was another gloomy day in Psychology. And of course, the ditsy girls never seem to miss a class either, and always sat in front of her. Sometimes they wouldn't talk about him, but most days in that class were spent on just how beautiful his lips were or his bangs. At least she wasn't the only one that had thought those small things about him had been attractive.

"Oh-my-god Ally, I totally met Peter Petrelli on Saturday! And we totally had lunch", the blonde babbled to her friend.

Claire couldn't help but scoff, and both girls immediately turned to look at her.

The blonde, who's name she still didn't know looked at her with a frown, "Do you have something to say?"

While she did have something to say in regards to what the blond had said, Claire shook her head, and tried to wash away her smile.

"Anyway...Like I said, we had lunch, and I totally invited him to go to the Halloween party at our Sorority and he's like totally coming!" she shrieked with the brunette as they clapped their hands together in joy.

For some reason, Claire found that really hard to believe. Maybe she had _met_ him, but she doubted that he would agree to go to any sorority Halloween party.

"Was he like flirting with you Amber?" asked the brunette, Ally.

Claire rolled her eyes, and put her head back down, not really intent on listening to the rest.

"Yes! He so was! He gives like the best hugs too!" she shrieked.

That was it, the last thing she needed to hear was how Peter was giving away free hugs, when she had yet to receive one from him. Not that she actually wanted one, because he was a stupid, memory loosing model, but still, it wasn't really fair.

She stood up and grabbed her stuff, ditching one class wouldn't cause permanent damage to her schooling. Besides, she didn't know how much more torture with the subject of him, she'd be able to take.

It had started drizzling outside, and to her dismay she hadn't thought of taking an umbrella with her to her classes. So Claire ran until she got to her dorm building, and into her room. Only when she walked inside she was surprised to see Angela sitting quite patiently on her bed.

Claire froze.

"Your Psychology class isn't over until ten-thirty Claire, what are you doing out early? And why on earth are you soaking wet?" Angela nearly scolded her, but tried to maintain her demeanor.

She swallowed, "We were told we could leave early."

What she really wanted to ask was how in hell did she know her schedule? But Claire knew better than to ask Angela Petrelli that, it wouldn't do you any good.

"That still doesn't answer why you're wet."

Claire grabbed a towel from her closet and dried her hair, "I had to run from class, and I didn't have an umbrella."

Angela waved her hand away, "Well, make sure you use one from now on. But no, I came here because we need to get you fitted into your Halloween costume for the ball. You're father is going to have some important guest there, and I need you looking presentable Claire. Did you have something in mind?"

She inwardly sighed. Claire knew she should have figured that she wouldn't be able to wear what ever she wanted. It was a Petrelli party, she was _told _what to wear.

"Bella Swan from Twilight?"

...

_**W**_ell, she wasn't Bella, but her costume wasn't a total disaster either. She was slowly starting to realize that she could trust Angela when it came to things like the importance of her costume.

Audrey Hepburn wouldn't have been her first choice, but she supposed there were worst things that she could have dressed up as. She was in a long black dress, that was tight around her waist, and wearing three large pearl necklaces. Her hair was done up in a swirl, imitating Audrey's and of course with ray bans.

Claire walked down the staircase of the Petrelli mansion, like she'd done when she had first gotten there. And of course all that she saw was an audience of politicians and their poor family that had been forced to go along with them.

"Hey Claire, do you want to watch the exorcist with us in the basement?" asked Simon from the side of the staircase with a grin on his face. There were at least five other boys his age waiting to hear her response.

"Er-no, but thanks."

They all ran off instantly, and Claire sighed with relief. As much as she didn't want to spend the night walking around greeting complete strangers, it sounded better than watching a horror movie, she wasn't much for monsters.

Her breath momentarily stopped when she spotted him. Peter was standing in the corner of the room, just where he'd been the last time, but this time he was conversing with a completely different blonde. This blonde was a little bit shorter, with longer hair, and kept pulling on his arm and pouting at him, as if begging for something.

Claire had to admit her costume was sort of cute. The blonde was dressed up as Tinkerbell, and it suited her very well, from what Claire could see.

It only took a second, but Peter noticed her. He looked divine as always, whether Claire liked it or not. His hair was tousled, and sprayed, into an awkward standing position. He wore a black Pea Coat, and black ray bans himself. Once he spotted her though, he slowly brought the ray bans down his nose a little and gave her his crooked smile.

She was about to pretend she hadn't seen him and turn around, but he called her name and she stood frozen to her spot, watching him slowly walk over to her.

The room seemed to spin when he got closer, filling it with his intoxicating scent, which always sent her into overdrive.

"Hey", he said casually, keeping a small grin on his face.

The incident from his apartment came back into her head and Claire kept her blank expression, she was determined not to give in to charms. So she crossed her arms, "Hello."

"What are you suppose to be?" he asked smirking.

His scent was getting to her. Her stomach was brewing the butterflies again, but Claire knew she had to stay stone cold, "Audrey Hepburn."

He raised an eyebrow, "Don't you mean Holly Golightly? Audrey Hepburn's character in Breakfast At Tiffany's?"

She knew it was childish, but she rolled her eyes. It wasn't like he could see underneath her sunglasses anyway, "Sure. What are you suppose to be anyway?"

Peter's smile grew, "Well, that's really up to your interpretation, but I was going for Bob Dylan."

Bob Dylan? Where was the fun in that, thought Claire. His smile was melting the ice in her, and wanting to make her forget, but she wouldn't. He didn't deserve for her to be nice, not after basically slamming the door on her face.

"Are you upset over Friday? I said I'd make it up to you Claire."

She stayed silent, and looked around the room, searching for something else to grab her attention.

"I have your prize at my apartment already too", he cooed.

His sweet breath made its way on to her face and Claire knew she was a goner.

"What is it?"

As he inched closer to her, the room seemed to go black, and Claire reminded herself again to breathe. One of his hands went to her waist, and the other to her shoulder as his lips got close to her ear, "It's a surprise."

She swallowed, pretty sure she wasn't suppose to be feeling and thinking what was going through her head. The butterflies erupted in full force, and the euphoria came back to her. She didn't like surprises right? She asked herself. No, she did. She was pretty sure she did.

"I like surprises", she murmured going along with him, rather dizzy from his presence.

He chuckled and slowly took her hand, leading them out of the mansion.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Are you wondering what will happen next? Muah haha...review and you'll find out :D


	14. Part XIII

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XIII

**_B_**y the time they got to his apartment and inside, Claire was a bit dazed by him to really figure out what was going on. All she could really remember was that it was Halloween, and despite her attempt to remain upset with him, he had somehow convinced her to go to his apartment, so that he could give her the surprise.

The apartment was dimmed as they walked in, and a bit cold. Claire rubbed her shoulders in a feeble attempt to make herself warmer.

"Are you cold?" he asked softly, and alluring. It almost made her want to moan. She simply nodded though, rather than opening her mouth to embarrass herself with incoherent noises.

He took the remote that lay on his island and clicked something on. Immediately, the fireplace turned on, and Claire's heartbeat quickened. The whole mood of the apartment was potentially romantic, but she told herself that it was just a comfortable setting. That was all.

Peter smiled at her, "Are you ready for your surprise?"

Now that she was there, she wasn't really that sure about it anymore. Whatever it was, she wasn't sure she'd be strong enough to not pass out from the presence of Peter.

Nevertheless, she nodded and let Peter guide her to a room. When he turned on the light, Claire nearly gasped. The entire wall was filled with Cd's, and it wasn't messy, they looked completely orderly.

But Peter didn't go towards the wall, instead he went to a cabinet, and took something out, but hid it behind his back as he looked at her, "This isn't suppose to be out yet. But I got it from a friend of a friend..."

It was a small rectangular cube that he held in his hand. He held it out to her and she grabbed it, examining it in her hands, but Peter sighed, "Its _inside_, Claire, open it."

Her hands trembled as she unwrapped it and took out a book. It had an orange sun on the front, and she gasped quietly, "_Midnight Sun_?"

Peter nodded, smiling and took his jacket off, "It's Edward's version of _Twilight_. I thought you might like it."

"Peter, I don't know what to say", she breathed.

He sighed, and his smile fell, but kept his eyes intently on her, "Just promise me

something, ok? When I ask you to promise me something later, you have to promise to do it, ok?"

She frowned, because he really didn't make any sense. She couldn't think of a reason not to promise him something though. He could be marvelous at times, and when it happened, Claire's self control was zero, so she nodded. After all, it was a simple request.

Claire's eyes moved towards all the Cd's that were on shelves against the wall, "You have a lot of Cd's."

He grimaced slightly, and nodded.

"One of my addictions, Music. Only good music though", Peter corrected himself and searched the shelves with his eyes until he spotted what he was looking for, and grabbed it. For a few seconds he held the CD in his hands, turning it back and forth, contemplating something. After a few seconds he sighed, and looked up to her, "I think you'll like this one."

He pulled her by her hand again gently, until they were by the fire place. Above it there was a see-through CD player. Peter inserted the CD, and Claire stared as it started spinning.

Peter switched the songs and turned to Claire, and held one of her hands while his other arm wrapped around her waist tightly. She could feel his hot breath next to her ear, as the soft music started playing.

"This CD is by Sia. When I thought- I listened to a lot of music after you were gone. That's all I really did-buy Cd's and listen to them. But Sia, her music for some reason always brought me back to you the most..."

The room was cozy now, the lights were dimmed. and Peter was holding her with his body pressed against hers as they slowly swayed to the bitter sweet lyrics of the CD. It was as if she was in a twisted fairy tale, a very twisted one, but nonetheless a fairy tale.

Claire closed her eyes and had the urge to lay her head against his chest, but managed to

stop herself. Instead she started listening to the words of song.

_'...How I missed you when I was gone  
Hurt me so to leave you, deceive you, I need you  
I believe in you...'_

The pain Sia's voice as she sang was evident, and Claire frowned, wondering if that was how badly Peter had been hurting. Had her death cut him that deep?

_'...Now all I have is riches and stitches and pictures  
But money could never buy what you give  
Though my heart is achin' and breakin' I'm takin'...'_

Claire swallowed, feeling an ache inside her chest grow at the sad lyrics. All Peter did was hold her tightly, as if he was afraid he'd lose her again, afraid that as indestructible as she was, she might die again. She'd never known just how much her death had affected him.

_'...I want just to hold you, unfold you, I told you  
I am coming back for you  
I know we will be okay everyday...'_

His breath against the side of her face increased, and Claire let out a tear. How could she have never remembered there was someone missing her with such an ache all that time?

Peter kissed the side of her cheek softly, and Claire felt the rest of her tears fall. This was the Peter she missed and needed. It was her Peter, the one that she missed.

_'...I'm trying not to fall apart  
I'm trying not to fall apart...'_

"Claire, can you promise me something now?" he asked softly, making sure to keep her tightly against him.

After the heart wrenching song, how could she not? Her head bobbled in a nod, but she kept her eyes tightly closed, fearing to see the pain across his face. There was already too much in her, she didn't want to see it in his eyes too.

"Don't ever question your love for Andy. Never let anybody confuse you, or make you feel that way about someone else. He's a good person, Claire, don't let yourself be fooled into thinking you love someone else like that. Don't let anyone try to confuse you."

She quivered, feeling his breath against her neck and swallowed, trying to gather the courage to speak. All she could gather though was a small whisper, "Will _you_ try?"

Their swaying stopped for a moment, and so did his breath against her neck. Claire panicked, and blinked her eyes open, she feared she'd crossed the line. What she had said had been completely unnecessary.

But he never let go of her, and when she felt him kiss her cheek-very close to her neck, she knew that it was ok. His mouth slid to her ear, and his hot breath sent a shiver down her spine, "I might."

...

**_C_**laire's mood over all seemed much better now that she wasn't upset at Peter anymore. If anything, she was intrigued with him more than ever, she'd never expected for him to say what he did, or show her the CD. It seemed too private, but she'd embraced his honesty.

She sighed, wishing she could do the same. She wanted to tell him she'd been confused before he had even said anything to her. He needed to know what he did to her, physically with just his presence. The very scent of him was enough to send her body into shock. It wasn't really normal how attracted she'd become to him-probably not even healthy.

That's how she knew it wasn't confusion. It was remarkably stronger than what she made herself feel for Andy. But at the same time, it was still wrong, that's what was preventing her from telling Peter how she felt herself, it was just wrong. There was a term they used for an attraction between family members-incest. But what was it anyway but just a definition?

They hadn't gone any further that night. All he'd really done was hold her close, as if he'd been afraid to lose her again. And Claire didn't want him to feel pain, she wanted him safe and happy.

After they'd finished their song, Peter had led Claire to the couch and sat down, laying her against him. Now and then he'd kiss her cheek and brush his finger tips through her hair until she fell asleep. When she thought about it, it was all quite innocent, they really hadn't done anything bad.

But in the morning, when she'd woken up, he wasn't next to her anymore. She rubbed her eyes and blinked trying to focus her eyesight. The living room had huge, eighteen feet windows, allowing the sun to shine straight in and bathe her in it. It felt warm against her skin, but her eyes narrowed, trying to adjust to the light.

She yawned and stood up, stretching her arms out. Her dress was beyond crinkled, but she sighed, there wasn't anything she could do about it anyway. She laughed bitterly,

thinking what Angela would say if she saw it.

"You're awake."

As she turned, she saw Peter exiting the bathroom, sniffing- he looked a bit shocked, even scared to see her awake. A little bubble of sadness grew in her because she knew he was getting sick, and if he had her ability, he wouldn't have been. If he had her ability, he'd be perfectly healthy, and he'd have no dark circles, or constantly look worn out.

"Are you getting sick?" She asked worriedly.

He frowned at her and blinked a couple times before responding, "Yeah...I guess so."

"What if I make you my chicken noodle soup now?" Claire's eyes had grown big, but Peter shook his head once.

The sudden noise of the door bell made Claire squirm and sit back down on the sofa. She yawned again, laying against the couch, wondering who was at the door. But it wasn't until then that her heart stopped, who was it? Could it be Angela? Nathan? Heidi? She was twenty, but still knew it wasn't prudent for her to be sleeping over at her uncle's penthouse, _regardless_ of what the circumstances were.

She ducked her head down a little, so it wasn't viewable from the front door, and held her breath, hoping to hear whoever it was. Only, she didn't hear anything, just silent whispers, and a door shut. Claire poked her head up, just enough to see, but Peter was no longer there. She sighed and stood up, guessing that whoever it was, he'd stepped out to talk to them.

As she walked into the kitchen, her stomach growled with hunger, she hadn't realized she was ravenous. But when she opened the refrigerator, she sighed, it was almost empty again. The thing was, she wasn't sure why she was surprised. After all, the last time she had been at his apartment, Heidi and her had gone grocery shopping for him.

All there was inside of it was a bottle of wine and a box of unopened wheat Triscuits. For some reason, none of that seemed rather appealing for breakfast, or brunch-whatever time it was. She closed the door and sat on a metal stool by the kitchen island instead, waiting for Peter.

It took a few minutes, but he finally walked through the door, searching for Claire and smiling as he found her sitting with her elbow on the table and supporting her head with it. He slid his hands inside his pockets and raised his eyebrows, looking a bit worried, "What?"

"Are you anorexic? You have no food."

He exhaled and chuckled, making his way over to her, "I know, but it seems pointless to have a refrigerator full of food when I'm hardly ever here."

Claire rolled her eyes, "You're such a model."

To that, Peter merely rolled his eyes, and made his way over to her, slipping his hand around her waist and kissing her cheek, "I can order in something, if you'd like?"

It was hard for her to breathe then, having him so close to her, touching her. She had every intention of turning her head slightly, so that their lips would meet. It felt too natural for her to do, so simple and easy. But before she could act on it, he was already moving away from her.

"Sure."

He smiled, and kissed her forehead lightly before turning to grab the phone, "What do you want?"

Claire shrugged, but then smiled, "Surprise me." She remembered something then, and frowned, "Who was at the door?"

Peter looked away from her and started walking towards the living room in search of something, "No one."

It was so easy how his moods could change in a matter of seconds. He'd been light and happy, but it had quickly turned sour and mad. Claire sighed, "Well _someone_ rang the bell."

When Peter had found what he'd been looking for, he made his way back to her, "What do you think about Indian food?"

"So are you not going to tell me who was at the door? What? Was it your girlfriend? Did you not want her to see me here?"

Peter's lips twitched, and he cocked his head at her slightly, closing in on Claire a little, his voice was hushed, "Are you jealous?"

"Hardly."

He inhaled deeply and smirked, "There would be no problem with anyone seeing you here, Claire. There's nothing wrong with it."

"Then who was at the door?" She asked again, sitting up straight and crossing her arms, keeping their stare.

Peter rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek, "You'll laugh if I tell you."

"Try me."

"My Agent."

It was true, he was right, she did want to laugh. It was just too surreal for her still, too new, that he was a model. Of course models had agents, that's how it worked. Claire's lips moved into a smile only slightly, "So what did he-she? Want?"

Before he could answer, the receiver was already to his ear and he winked at her. On the other line she could hear someone talking, and Peter started to order. She merely sighed again, and hopped off the stool to go use the restroom.

Like the rest of the apartment, it was immaculate and very nicely decorated, yet minimally at the same time. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair wasn't as bad as she had expected it to be. But her face had streams of mascara running down them, and her eyeliner had smudged around her eyes, she looked like crap.

But of course Peter being Peter, hadn't said anything. Why would he? He'd probably enjoyed her unknown humiliation. That's why he hadn't wanted his agent to see her, she looked completely wrecked. It was sweet in a way, but it still bugged her that he hadn't mentioned how dishevelled she looked.

When she was done washing her face, she made her way back to the kitchen, but Peter wasn't there. She frowned, it made her uneasy when he disappeared, anxious even. But her worry went away when she spotted him out on his balcony, a cigarette in hand.

Silently, she made her way over to him and stood next to the frame of the elegant, French door that lead to his somewhat spacious balcony. She studied him from the back, running her eyes along his torso and up to his lean shoulders. His arms were slightly too thin for her liking, but then again, she was used to Andy's thick, muscled arms.

Not that it would fit Peter, he was more dainty, more girlie somehow. She watched as he smoked, grimacing, "Did you know that every cigarette shortens your life span by eleven minutes?"

Peter jumped, and turned to look at her, shocked, "You scared the shit out of me!" It didn't stop him from smoking though, he simply put the cigarette up to his lips, and sucked on it again, smirking.

"When did you start smoking anyway?"

He shrugged, "A little bit after I lost my abilities I guess? A month after you died."

It was incredible how it was still hard for him to talk about her death, even though she stood before him completely fine and dandy. He seemed traumatized by it.

"If you stopped taking the pills, would they come back?" she asked softly, stepping closer to him, and letting him envelope his arm around her waist in the cool November air. He snuggled his face next to the crook of her neck and kissed it delicately.

"No. But does it matter? I don't care about them anymore," he whispered wistfully into her ear.

When he wanted to, he could be distracting. The very feel of him had already started making Claire incoherent. They were in their own little world then, which was why when someone opened the front door, they were completely oblivious to it.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Another Cliffhanger! Thank you so much guys for all the reviews!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D


	15. Part XIV

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**  
Part XIV

_**A**_ noise from the front door surprised both Claire and Peter into turning from their embrace. Behind them stood a tall blond-haired man, smiling curiously at the both of them. She had to admit he was good looking, not nearly as beautiful as Peter, but he still wasn't half bad-with his blue eyes, and cocky grin as he looked at both of them in their embrace.

At her side, Peter merely sighed, "Adam, I've told you before to knock."

"I would have, but you wouldn't have opened it for me. You have a flight to catch in three hours to London, Peter, must I always tend for you?" He said rather vaguely, "Who's this?" His eyes had shifted towards Claire.

Peter frowned, "Adam-Claire, Claire-Adam. Adam's my agent, Claire is my niece."

Adam smiled, and put out his hand, "The infamous Claire Bennett. It's a pleasure to meet you. He does have a very important shoot to go to though, I'm afraid I have to steal him away from you."

Claire shook his hand, and stood closer to Peter, suddenly feeling scared. And even though he had no real powers to protect her, his presence gave her comfort. She hated the thought of him being thousands of miles away from her again. She didn't want that to happen, not when they had just gotten each other again.

Peter glanced down at Claire and then back at Adam, "Can you give us a minute, please?"

He nodded curtly and turned around, taking out his phone and heading to the balcony.

When he closed the door Peter looked back at Claire, "What would you say to going to England with me? Have you ever been there?"

Out of all the things that had been crossing her mind, Claire really hadn't thought an invitation to a whole other continent would have been on it. It sounded wonderful, daring, exciting, but Andy stuck out in the back of her mind. He didn't deserve the secrecy she had with Peter now, even if they hadn't done anything inappropriate, the intention was still there.

At the same time, the thought of going anywhere with Peter was tempting. Claire bit her lip, "No, I wish I could, I just-"

Peter kissed her forehead, "No, you're right Claire. I shouldn't have asked."

He held her face with his hands and kissed her cheek. He was too close, Claire could smell his beautiful scent again, and it sent her into a euphoric shock. But as his lips made their way close to her neck and next to her ear, something changed. The feeling was stronger and a slow groan made it's way up her lips.

She hadn't meant for it to happen, or for it to be audible, but it was too late, she knew he'd heard. He stopped, but only for a second, and breathed into her ear, only making Claire clench her fists to stop herself from pinning him down to the couch and having her way. It was crazy, she didn't understand how her behaviour could change so dramatically in seconds with him.

With a chaste kiss against her neck, he pulled himself back from her with a crooked smile, "I'm sorry, was that rude of me to do?"

Claire swallowed and try to maintain her voice even as she opened her mouth, "No-it was fine."

When he bit his lip and frowned, Claire felt her body shake again and breathed in deeply to control herself. How could he make her feel like that so easily? Peter looked up to see check on Adam. He was still busily chatting with someone on his phone, and Peter bit his lip, looking down at her again, "This is wrong of me to do, Claire, I'm confusing you."

"I don't mind."

He chuckled and shook his head, "I need to go. Would you like to go out when I come back?"

She nodded her head, "Will you be back soon?"

As he ran his hand into his hair and tousled it, Claire had to stop herself from breathing to react to it. His scent hit her like the cold wind outside and she swallowed again, it was so cruel of him to make her be so weak.

"I'll be back sooner than you think. Tomorrow."

...

_**N**_ext day.

...

_**O**_ne week.

...

_T_wo weeks. That's how long it had been. No phone call, no visit, not even news from Heidi. She explained though, that it was normal for him to leave for a while without getting in touch, it was ok. It's merely how he was, said Heidi. Yet to Claire, it wasn't the same, he wasn't supposed to do that to her.

He had promised to be back the next day, and instead he hadn't even had the decency to call. She'd been worried at first, imagining the worst possible scenarios, but when she'd stepped into her psychology class the Wednesday two weeks before Thanksgiving, that had changed.

As she had taken her seat, she'd bit her lip and frowned, wondering just like every other day where Peter was. Maybe they'd kept him for more jobs? Maybe he'd found a girlfriend there and had fallen madly in love, or maybe he'd gotten really sick.

Claire groaned as she saw the two ditsy girls that sat in front of her walk in. That was the last thing she needed on that day. To be annoyed into oblivion by some girl who thought she knew Peter, and by an idiotic brunette.

"Oh my god! Did you hear that Peter Petrelli is going to be dropped from his contract as the face of Burberry?" shrieked the blond-Amber as she sat down directly in front of Claire, ignoring her completely.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, whatever the blond said were all lies, Claire knew that. Sometimes she wondered how they'd both react if they knew she actually knew Peter.

"Why? He's so hot!"

Amber flung her hair to the side with a melodramatic attitude, "Because of his thing."

Claire frowned, thing? What thing? And why didn't she know about that certain thing? She laughed to herself, of course she wouldn't know. The Petrelli's never provided her any information when it came to Peter. He was one big unsolved mystery that she was trying to get to know again.

For the rest of the class she listened to Amber and Ally's obsessive talk over Peter and tried not to pull both of their perfectly maintained hair to calm herself. The way that they spoke about him was as if he was some type of god. He wasn't supposed to be that to anyone else than her. She admitted it now. She wanted him only for herself, the only issue now was Andy.

Andy was perfect, and more than she could ever ask for. He was a perfect gentleman, and at the same time he respected her need to be independent, plus he was gorgeous. Any other girl would be thrilled to have him, but she was doubting herself lately. What she had thought was love, she was thinking was just admiration and, yes, she did love him with all her heart, but not like Peter.

When she was around him it was as if something awakened within her, some part that she hadn't realized lived there while she lived with no memory of who she was. And even if he upset her, ignored her, was a complete jackass to her, what she felt for him refused to go away. If anything it just kept getting stronger.

And what he had made her promise, she wasn't sure she could keep. She wasn't confused, he wasn't confusing her, she knew what she wanted. It was him, just him and his crooked smile.

Claire was so caught up in her daydreams that when the teacher announced that class was over, it shocked her that she had been sitting there, not realizing how much time had actually passed.

...

_**S**_he sulkily stood up and dragged herself out of the class, remembering she'd promised Heidi to help make a list of the food they would have on Thanksgiving. Heidi had a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder, not that she'd ever admit to it. Which was why Claire thought it was so funny to see both Angela and Heidi argue over things.

The November air was instantly cold against her skin, and she hugged herself in an attempt to keep warm as she hailed down a cab. It only took a few seconds before she was inside of the warmness of the cab and on her way to the Petrelli mansion. She stared out the window, watching people and buildings as they passed by in a blur, all the time wondering where Peter was and if he was ok.

As the cab got closer to the Petrelli mansion, she saw a figure walking out of it. A figure with black hair and long bangs, it was Peter. Her heart stopped and her stomach flipped, and both anger and joy ran through her at the sight of him. He didn't look to the cab, only had his head tilted down slightly as he started to walk along the street.

Claire flung the money to the cab driver, not waiting for her change and stormed out after him.

"Peter!"

He didn't stop at first, but kept on walking. So she called out his name again, louder, trying to grab his attention. He slowly turned around to look at her with his jaw tilted a little. It sent a chill down her back.

She could tell he wasn't in a good mood. He was blinking his eyes slowly, and looked to her with a listless expression, just waiting to see what it was that she wanted so that he could hurry up and leave again. But she also took fact that he was shaking slightly, even if he was trying to cover it up.

"Where have you been?" She was breathless from the run.

"Work," He muttered through his semi closed lips.

As Claire tried to get closer to him, he took a step back and swallowed, looking away from her. There was something about his eyes that she noticed was different too, but he kept shifting them for her not to see.

"Are you ok?" She tried to hold his hand, but he only flinched back, as if her touching him would sting.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. And as he spoke he gritted his teeth, "Stay away from me, Claire." There was no note of anger in his voice, it was only a plead of some sort.

But she'd had enough, she couldn't stand his ever changing moods towards her, it wasn't fair. Why was he allowed to act however he wanted with her but she not with him?

Why didn't it bother him that he hurt her with his attitude? She crossed her arms and frowned angrily, "What's your problem? One second you're this unbelievably nice person, who I love to be around with and then you're-you're this! It's like I'm dealing with two complete different people, Peter. I want to know what's going on with you."

She hadn't meant to explode but he really hadn't left her with any other choice, she was tired of how he was acting. She just wanted her Peter back, the one that came out for brief seconds at a time.

He snickered at her, and shook his head trying to control his trembling, "Just stay away from me. For my sake, and yours, ok? I can't pretend to be someone I'm not anymore. Whoever you thought I was-he's gone. Just let it go."

And then with one last look that nearly broke her heart, he turned and walked away. He was wrong, she could see the Peter she knew inside him, wanting to be let free. He was there, somewhere. All she could do though was stand in shock, wondering what could have happened to make him change his mind.

...

_**A**_s Claire sat next to Heidi, listening to the list of options for Thanksgiving dinner, she willed herself not to cry. She wanted to be able to pretend just like the rest of them that nothing was wrong, that what Peter had told her wouldn't affect her, but it did.

Everything else seemed pointless right then, who cared what they were going to eat for Thanksgiving dinner if Peter might not even show up? He was more important than some silly turkey. After Heidi read off the types of Pie's to pick from Claire clenched her fists and looked up at Heidi. She wasn't going to stand for it anymore.

If she wanted the old Peter back, she had to know what was going on, she couldn't just let it go like he said, she wouldn't.

"What's wrong with him?" Her voice was low and livid.

Heidi blinked, surprised by her sudden change in behaviour, and frowned, "I'm sorry, Claire, I'm not sure what you mean."

Claire jumped up from her chair and slammed her hands down on the table with force she'd never known she had. Hot angry tears filled her eyes and she looked menacingly at Heidi, "Stop fucking around! I'm tired of it! You, Nathan and Angela. All you ever do is keep secrets! What's wrong with Peter?!"

Heidi tried to hide her shock, but it didn't work. Instead she nervously collected the list and pictures of the food, "We'll continue this later, you're not in the-"

"Tell me the truth!" She shrieked. Months of pent up frustration started making its way out from her and she couldn't control it, "I just saw him. He told me to stay away from him! What's wrong with him?" She sobbed the last part, falling back into her chair.

If anyone had ever told her that Heidi would one day become the next Angela Petrelli, she would have never believed it. Heidi had always been kinder, more understanding, and accepted her more. But from her composure, Claire could see the day was coming. Heidi wasn't leaning over to soothe her back, and tell her everything would be ok, all she did was fold her hands on her lap and give Claire a small smile, "He's using drugs."

Claire stopped sobbing, and held her breath, knowing she'd heard wrong. Peter would never-It wasn't possible that he'd do that. He was a nurse, he'd seen what it had done to Isaac the painter. he'd never dream of it, she knew him that much.

She swallowed and looked up at Heidi, "What?"

There was no way that was possible. He hadn't given her any indication of it, he was fine, and healthy. But if she wanted to be honest with herself, it did make sense. She remembered every odd thing he'd done or said since she'd come back, it all made sense.

Heidi looked at her sympathetically and stood up to sit next to her. She finally put her hand on Claire's back and rubbed it, "It started about a year after we thought you died. Well, no-actually when he started taking those pills to get rid of his abilities. They were meant to numb the abilities out, make them go away. And they did, but he grew dependent on them. Only when they stopped giving them to him, it just went on from there. We've tried talking to him about it, but it doesn't work. He didn't want you to know. He wanted to get better, and not have to see him like that, but he's not getting better, Claire."

Claire breathed shakily, and put a strand of her hair behind her ear, "It's not true-He wouldn't-"

"It is true, Claire. Do you think it's normal the way he looks?"

Her mind went back to what Heidi had said, 'He started taking those pills to get rid of his abilities'.

"It's my fault," She whispered.

...

_**C**_laire had left the mansion in a hurry after she realized that he'd only started taking the pills because of her. It was all because of her. Everything that had started happening to him, she was to blame for.

She stood in front of his door, trying to not to start crying again. Her face was already blotchy, and her eyes were red from crying in the cab, but she didn't want to cry in front of him. She just wanted to apologize and hold him, tell him that everything would be ok. She'd find a way to make it all better, it was her responsibility.

Despite her nerves and worry of how he'd react to seeing her there, she rang the bell. A large part of her didn't think he'd open the door, and she was afraid of that, too.

Light footsteps made their way to the door and stopped. She knew he was looking at her through the peephole, and she tried not to look at it. After a few excruciating seconds though, she heard the lock click, and the door being opened.

He stood there, completely blank and with no expression, "I told you to stay away from me."

The effort to remain composed went away and Claire's voice was shaky as she spoke. She felt the tears rising to her eyes, "I know the truth, Peter, ok? And it's all my fault," she wrapped her arms around herself as she shook with tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

Peter stood frozen, unsure of what to do, but a small frown grew on his face. He sighed, reaching for her arm to pull her in and closed the door behind her. Claire trembled against him, but this time the euphoric feeling he usually sent her was gone, it was just the feel of his cold skin against hers as he hugged her and guided her towards the couch.

She sobbed uncontrollably, and Peter looked at her torn, not really sure of what to do. His hand hesitated as he wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly closed her in for a hug, laying against the couch.

She wanted to stop crying and be the one to hug him. He was the one that needed the comforting, and reassurance, not her. He was the one who had suffered all this time, not her.

He kissed the top of her head softly, "I'm so sorry, Claire." It was eerie almost, the way he said it, without much feeling to his voice, "It's not your fault."

But it was her fault. She was the cause of every problem he had now. It was all because of her, all his suffering started and ended with her. It would change though, she'd find a way to help him.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yay so Claire finally knows the truth :D wonder what will happen next? review! And tell me what you thought of this :D

ETA: I wrote a companion piece in Peter's POV to this. If you want to read it go to my livejournal. :D


	16. Part XV

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XV

_**I**_t only took a few seconds to remember where she was. When Claire looked at Peter laying besides her sleeping soundly, it all came back. The incidents from the previous day played themselves over in her head like a broken record. So Peter was an addict, and it was her fault. It didn't matter how much he said it wasn't, it still was.

Blaming all his problems on her death sounded mildly conceited, she knew that, but it was the truth. And even though, it was something that she really had never been able to help, she still felt _infinitely_ guilty about it.

Her hand slowly caressed his cheek, feeling the unnatural softness of it. He was always just a couple degrees colder than her, which made her all the more drawn to him. The feel of her fingers on him made him move beneath her, and turn to the side slightly, so that he was facing her, but his eyes were still closed. Instead, she could feel the warmness of his breath on her face, and she closed her own eyes, enjoying the feel of it too.

Careful not to wake him from his peaceful slumber, Claire gently took out her cellphone from her pocket. It was only 5 AM, yet she wasn't tired at all. As soon as she'd gotten into a comfortable position in his arms the night before, she'd fallen asleep. She wondered if he had right after her, probably, from not being able to take his arm away from under her.

A low long grumble came from her stomach, and she looked down, realizing just how hungry she truly was. Not that there was anything to eat in his apartment, she knew better than to check the empty refrigerator. Instead, thinking she could ignore the plea in her stomach, Claire closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Peter, hoping to fall back asleep.

Yet, the noise in her stomach persisted and after a few more minutes, she knew it would be impossible to ignore it. She was careful not to wake him as she stood up though, and stretched.

Looking down at him, Claire realized what he truly needed too was breakfast, just like her. She bit her lip and looked at the time again. It was only five, if she hurried she'd be able to make a quick run to the grocery and make it back in time before he woke up, so that she could surprise him. It really was the least bit she could do for him, considering how much of a basket case she'd been the night before. When _he _should have been the one getting comforted, not giving it.

As she made her way out his apartment though, another thought made her stop. She had classes, and if she made him breakfast, it was obvious she'd miss class. Claire weighed the two options in her head, but there was no contest- the obvious answer was Peter. If she had learned anything, it was that he needed her, regardless of how much he objected it, or claimed it wasn't true.

...

**_S_**urprisingly enough, Claire wasn't the only one at Albertson's that morning. In fact, she thought it might even be busier than when she normally went during the day.

The air conditioning was cold against her skin, and she wrapped her sweater around herself in an attempt to keep warm as she pushed the car into an isle. That was when she realized she really didn't know what it was that Peter liked. With her head cocked to the side, she stared at the bread. Was he more of a wheat person? Or sourdough? Not really bothering to think further about it, she grabbed both types and kept on looking around.

Did he like tofu? Romaine or iceberg lettuce? Green apples or red ones? Spicy hot sauce or mild? The amount of questions were endless. In the end as she pushed the cart towards check out, it was completely full, everything from flour to garlic. She figured it was better to be safe than sorry, and with Peter and his constant moods, maybe he had constant different preferences in food as well.

There was only one thing she hadn't thought about once she finished paying for all groceries and started exiting the store. How would she possibly going to carry all of the bags herself?

It took her a while, but she managed to pull them all out onto the street and put them down while she hailed a cab. One finally pulled over, but the cab driver didn't help her put them into the backseat. She sighed, and dragged them in herself, bitterly. She knew for a fact that Andy would never dream of doing that to a girl...but would Peter? Claire wasn't quite sure, she'd have to test him on that later.

Not only was the cab driver very ungentlemanly, anti-social, and had a bad case of b.o., but he also drove like he was 85 years old. Usually she wasn't in a hurry, but it left her anxious knowing that Peter was by himself, now that she fully understood the situation. She didn't want him to leave again, at least, not until he'd had a proper meal.

After what seemed like a never ending ride, they finally made it to his apartment building, and Claire flung him the money, completely fed up. If he was surprised by her hostility, Claire didn't know. She simply grabbed the multitudes of bags, flung them over her wrists, and shut the cab door with her foot.

Claire was satisfied to see the shock in his face, and smirked, turned around and headed into the building.

...

Once she had gotten through the door, she made sure to close it behind her very silently. Peter was still sleeping soundlessly on the couch, and she didn't want to wake him from his soothing looking slumber. He looked beautiful laying on the with his eyes closed, like a god. She had every want to go and touch his skin, caress his bangs, and trace his lips, but her stomach brought her back to reality.

It growled louder than before, and instead turned around to go back into the kitchen and start cooking. She put away the groceries as quietly as she could, trying not to wake him. She could tell by his face, that he really needed a good night's sleep.

The plastic around the stove made her laugh, apparently he'd never used it before. Then again she really couldn't imagine Peter cooking, it seemed really alien.

She knew exactly what to make him, it was something she'd remembered eating with him before she had died. Claire remembered one morning after they'd spent the whole night tracking someone with a special ability who had been using his power to suck air out of rooms, they'd gone to eat breakfast and Peter had gotten a spinach omelet.

He had liked it so much, that after he had finished it, he looked at the plate longingly, wanting to lick it. There was no doubt that what he needed was that. Plus it did seem sort of healthy too, and Claire guessed that his diet these days were stricter-with him being a model and all.

When she was adding the spinach to the omelet was when she heard something beside her. There stood a groggy Peter with bed hair, and yawning. He looked at her incredulously, and frowned, "What are you doing?"

Claire merely smiled and pointed towards the stool next to the island, "Sit down and I'll show you."

Watching her intently, he sat down and yawned again. Claire could feel his eyes burning at her back, watching her every movement, and suddenly felt very self-conscious. She wondered if her hair looked ok from the back, after all she hadn't had a chance to shower yet. She flipped the omelet over, letting it sizzle a little. The aroma was driving her stomach insane with hunger, she could only imagine how hungry Peter was.

When she was done, Claire turned around with an omelet in plate and put it infront of Peter. He looked at it tentively, and then looked up at her, "What is it?"

Claire rolled her eyes and picked up his fork, cutting a piece, "It's really good, and you're going to eat it."

She pushed the fork towards his mouth, and he kept it shut at first, but slowly opened it so that she could deposit the piece into his mouth. He chewed slowly, and frowned, looking up at her in surprise, "This is like that one-"

"Yup! I was hoping you'd remember. The one where you almost licked the plate!"

Peter laughed, nearly making the food come out of his mouth. It make Claire happy to see him smile, it had been a long time since he'd had a really crooked laugh. He raised one eyebrow up as he swallowed the food, and grinned, "Not bad."

Crossing her arms, Claire scoffed, "Not bad? After I've been slaving away for you? I'd say it's pretty damn good if you ask me."

He smiled at her, and then turned it a sad smile, something she couldn't decipher. It was as if he was contemplating something in his head. Then with a simple shrug, and the pull of her waist with his arm, Claire found herself easily into Peter's lap. he wrapped his arms around her softly, and rested his head in the crook of her neck, breathing into it with his warm breath, he whispered, "You don't have to do this for me."

She wanted her voice to be strong and firm. Because that's how she felt about it, she was sure of what she wanted to do. She knew what she had to do, it was her responsibility to bring the old him back. Yet, when she spoke, her voice was laced with the same velvet whisper he'd had, "I want to."

Peter sighed, Claire thought he'd let go. She was prepared for it, but to her surprise, he only held her tighter, and kissed her neck softly, "I can't let you, I'm sorry."

It didn't matter what he said, Claire knew her responsibility. She turned to face him, and held his gaze, "I'm not asking you for permission Peter."

His expression turned into a frown, and he licked his lips, clearly upset by her comment. But he had to understand that she wasn't just going to give up so easily, that's not how it had been between them before, she knew that much. She couldn't just let him waste his life, he was better than that.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into Claire. It'd be much easier if you just stayed away like I told you to. It's...it's too late, _please_ don't get involved with me." It was the strongest plea she'd ever heard, it made her swallow.

Inside, her stomach flipped. It was the moment, she'd have to do it, or say something. Yet, uttering the words, without showing him what she meant was difficult. She bit her lip for a second, before closing in to his face. They weren't even an inch apart, and Claire could feel his breath hitting her face with a soft force. It made her stomach erupt into butterflies, and goosebumps grow on her skin.

She'd dreamt about it for weeks, yet mustering the guts to take it into action had turned out to be much harder than she'd thought. Now though, she had to do it, she had to show him why she couldn't just walk away and watch him self-destruct.

With a final swallow, she closed in, and connected their lips.

His were soft, and felt like satin against hers, they were much more enjoyable that she had ever imagined, and she moved against them, putting pressure, and her complete feelings into it. It didn't matter that he was completely frozen or had stopped breathing for a couple seconds, he had to see why she couldn't back out.

She backed out of it, and fluttered her eyes open at him, to see his semi shocked, and softened expression. He didn't look angry, but not joyful either. His face looked strained, as if some force within him was trying to fight off what had happened, or trying to register it.

Claire gave him her iconic smile, and held his face in her tiny hands, "Can't you see Peter? It's too late for that too."

But he didn't say anything to that, only clawed her hands off of his face, and took hers in his, bringing their lips together again, and kissing her back with complete emotion. After a few seconds, she couldn't properly function anymore, her breathing stopped and let him envelope her in his sensual kiss.

In her four years with Andy, she'd never experienced a kiss like the one Peter was giving her. It was full of want, passion, and something else she wasn's sure she could pin point, but it was marvelous. It was like she finally waking up, and that was how true kisses were suppose to feel.

When he pulled away, his eyes were still troubled, still contemplative, not sure what to say or do. But Claire simply put her head against his chest, and he held her again. She felt guilty, she should've been the one holding him, rocking him even, but she needed to feel his embrace. It brought back the memory of the old Peter. Yes she knew she was selfish.

...

**_S_**lowly, without really realizing it, Claire's visits to Peter's apartment became quite frequent. It felt more like home than her dorm, and laying on his bed, was the only place she could really feel comfortable at times. When he was gone, doing photo shoots, and campaigning, was when she truly felt alone, not even Andy's phone calls seemed to bring her the much needed comfort that they once had.

What truly troubled her was knowing that he'd be moving to New York soon. She wanted him too, truly did, but her other half feared it, and only thought of hiding in Peter's apartment so he wouldn't find her. What could she use as her excuse for wanting to dump him? She had none.

Claire knew that eventually something would have to change, with someone. She couldn't leave Peter by himself, not when he truly needed her more than Andy did. But she wanted the normalcy that he brought her, Peter couldn't offer her that. Her life with peter would always be complicated and secretive. Their relationship would have to be a double life, the day as uncle and niece and night would something she couldn't describe.

They weren't lovers, and it was getting harder for Claire with every day that passed. With Peter kissing, her cheek, somtimes her neck, holding her tightly against him. She wanted more persistantly, and knew eventually she'd have to take the next step if he didn't.

But when she'd see him walk out of the bathroom, with that distant look, and sit down next to her to pull her in, she wasn't sure anymore. He was so peaceful after he'd come out, numb, and all he wanted was her closeness. She was more than happy to oblige, but knew it had to end.

They were sitting in front of his TV thanksgiving only two days away, and he had that distant look. The one that made her hug herself, until he'd pull her in to him, and kiss her hair softly.

She wasn't sure what movie they were watching, only knew that some guy was revived by a doctor, and that's when she started wondering. could all of this, what Peter was going through go away? Could her blood be the cure for his disease?

Mohinder had speculated that her blood could be the cure for cancer, and many others. if he was right, did it mean she could help Peter? Or would her ability just be lost with in his blood and mixed with whatever the pills they had given him done? Would it be useless? The answers seemed endless to her then. She looked over to see he had silently fallen asleep next to her and she sighed, she needed to do something.

...

**_C_**laire wasn't sure what had come over her, but before she knew it she was across New York City in a less elegant area. It was surprising how different a matter of blocks could make.

When she got out of the cab, she was a little hesitant, there were a few homeless with shopping carts in the back, but she sighed, wondering why Mohinder wouldn't move into a better neighborhood. she knew that the company paid him well, they had years ago, and could only imagine how much he was making then.

She quickly made her way inside, and up the stairs not looking back to see if any of the homeless people had followed her. It was irrational for them to scare her, she knew it, but they still did.

By the time Claire had made her way to the front of Mohinder's apartment, she was panting slightly. She knocked trying to calm her nervousness, trying to figure out how to begin to explain what had happened to Peter...unless he already knew? What if he had been the doctor to prescribe him the pills in the first place? It bothered her how scared she was, she shouldn't have been. She was indestructible, and if Mohinder couldn't help, it wouldn't hurt to stab Peter with a bit of her blood and see how he'd react.

Slowly, the door opened, but instead of revealing a tall, thin Indian man, she saw a teenage girl with dirty blond hair, smiling brightly back at her, "You must be Claire Bennett."

...

**_A_**s soon as Peter was sure Claire was gone, he opened his eyes and stood up, flipping his cellphone open, and dialing a number. He knew it was rather shady to go behind Claire's back like that, but it wasn't as she didn't know what was really going on with him. In a way he was just being discreet about it, why cause her more grief by exposing her to his hell?

A female voice picked up on the other end of the line, "Is she gone?"

Peter sighed, "Yeah, hurry up. I don't know when she'll be back _Elle_."


	17. Peter's Side: Heaven

****

Ballad Of Big Nothing

__

heaven

Peter's Side

I knew what I was, a jackass, and an inconsiderate idiot. I was all of that and more. The fact that I'd even brought Claire into my life was selfish and stupid, but then to lie to her on top of that? There weren't words for it honestly. She deserved better than all the lies I fed her. I knew that, but I still couldn't stop myself from wanting her at my side either.

I was a monster, who else would let their niece kiss them? And _enjoy_ it? I was sick. I knew it, and there really wasn't anything that was going to change that.

Putting my hand through my hair, I walked outside onto the balcony and lit a cigarette.

My heart was a little too fast, and my head slightly pounding. Usually I'd never let it get that bad, I'd fulfill what ever need I had, but It was difficult with Claire around. My conscious had started reviving itself since her reappearance, and I couldn't shut it off anymore.

When I heard the bell ring, I instantly made my way over, not checking to see who it was.

But of course, when I opened the door it was Elle, and I grinned. She was sadly the only other person than Claire I was ever happy to see, but not in the same way. Not at all.

"Salivating at my sight, are you?" she teased me, swaying her hips as she walked in, and I closed the door behind her. What she was doing was obvious, but I just wasn't attracted to her. At least not anymore, not with Claire in the picture. But that wasn't the reason I was elated to see her.

No, I was happy to have her because she always provided me with the peace I needed, the numbing, or whatever it was that I was looking for on that certain day. Today it really didn't matter, anything would do. I just needed something in my system, before becoming completely sick.

My heartbeat had quickened with anticipation at her presence, knowing I'd soon satisfy it's hunger. Not that Elle noticed, she was completely oblivious to the anxiousness that had taken over me as she abruptly bounced on to the island, and turned to smile at me.

"Did you bring it?" I asked impatiently, stepping forward and biting on the inside of my lower lip. She smiled at me, I hated it. How she could be so nonchalant about my current condition, I didn't know. It was obvious how antsy I was, but there she stood, mocking me, making me go through unnecessary pain.

Her eyes scanned the room, looking for something, and then raising her eyebrows as she looked over to the entrance of my room, where Claire's shoes were on the floor. Inside my pounding head I smiled, Claire's feet were so small, she hated it, but there was something cute about the fact that her feet were so tiny.

"You're letting her get very comfortable aren't you?"

I sighed, and closed my eyes trying to calm the banging in my chest. I was weak, I couldn't take the stalling, not when I knew how I could feel if she just gave it to me, how hard was that? Why was she torturing me? My body was going to go limp if she kept this up.

Taking my silence as a confirmation, Elle rolled her eyes and sighed, holding up her hand. In between two of her fingers, she held a tiny Ziploc bag, which made my heart, beat even faster with joy. That's all I had wanted, that's all I really needed.

Licking my lips, I didn't take my eyes off it, "How much?"

Elle shrugged, with only a hint of a smirk on her lips, as she bounced off the counter top, and slowly started walked over to me, sensually, "Oh, you know, just the usual."

The usual meant a wad of twenties and sometimes sex. I didn't mind either of it, and Elle wasn't even that bad in bed, but I preferred just being able to pay for my stuff and be left in peace. Sometimes it felt somewhat private, as if I didn't want to be around anyone in my trance, it just felt better that way.

Shakily, I threw the money at her, and she pocketed it, still taking a step towards me, and tugging at my shirt with her fists. I greedily took the tiny package from her and shrugged her off, heading towards the bathroom. When I could feel her following me, I turned and sighed, "Want some?"

She shook her head and poked my stomach, "You know I don't like opiates."

Opiates? I looked down and the sweet contents the plastic Ziploc held and felt my chest rise with more joy and anticipation. A smile spread across my face, because just the thought of that in me felt wonderful, "I love you Elle."

"I wish that were true", she mumbled, crossing her arms. I had heard her, but I wasn't in the mood to go out into a full explanation of why I couldn't love anyone, besides she'd already heard it. I ignored her and started getting ready to take what she'd so generously brought for me.

Elle stood against the doorframe watching me. I should've cared, but by this time I was so desperate, that it didn't even matter to me where she was.

"You know, things aren't going to work out with her, Peter. You can't get everything you want from her, and she from you. I thought just knowing she was alive was enough for you. You said things wouldn't change between us", there was a note of hurt in her throat, something she rarely ever showed.

She was right, I had said that, but that had been before she'd entered my life again, and before she remembered me. Now, I couldn't imagine myself with out her, I couldn't think of what my life would be if I just shut her out again. It scared me to think of how bad it could turn, when I already felt like I was living in a constant hell, for the exception of Claire who brought in rays of sun occasionally.

When I was done, I pocketed what was left over and blinked. I felt my eyes getting semi glossy, and a wondrous feeling consuming my body. I finally felt at ease, not jumpy or antsy at all. I could lie down all day and bathe in the amazing bliss that spread through out me. It was almost as good as lying with Claire next to me, or planting kisses on her perfect tanned skin. It was pure heaven.

Elle's voice slid through my head again, breaking my hazy thoughts, as I greatly tried to keep my attention on what she was saying, "Girls like Claire and guys like Andy don't fall for people like us Peter, especially not when they're related. Remember that; remember I was the one that picked up the pieces last time."

I remembered, I remembered everything clearly, but all I did was nod my head slightly and made my way past her to the couch. Sleep was gaining me, and I could feel my eyes droop, as I, fell on to the side and slowly breathed in with my eyes closed. I liked the black behind my eyelids, it felt warm, safe, made me content.

"Think about it. I'll be here when it happens again", her words turned into a whisper, as I felt myself go into the limbo between unconsciousness and the dream world. It was always in between, rather bittersweet. It was peaceful, but never satisfactory. But dreams were a small price to pay for heaven.

I really wasn't use to her being so serious. The Elle I knew was always joking around, and flirty with me, I didn't know what to make of her sudden behavior. But I shrugged it off, not wanting it to ruin my sweet escape.

...

"Peter?"

God I loved her voice. Even when it wasn't intentional, it still sounded so sensual and inviting. All I wanted to do was have her say it over and over…

I felt Claire grab my face, but I still kept my eyes closed, and didn't say anything. Her fingers felt nice and warm against my cheeks, her touch sent an electric buzz through me.

"Peter", her voice was louder and her hands started shaking me. I rather wished she would have stopped, it was really messing with my sleep. But she wouldn't stop, she kept shaking me and rubbing my cheek urging me awake when they only thing I really wanted to do was sleep.

"Hey beautiful", I murmured, just loud enough so that she could hear me. As I said that, I heard her sigh against me, and put her hand through my hair, caressing it.

I kept my eyes closed, or rather, they didn't want to open. But when her other hand rubbed my cheek, I gave her a small smile, hoping it would satisfy her. Yeah she probably had her suspicions, it was pretty obvious what I'd done, but I also knew she wouldn't say anything about it.

Again, I heard her sigh, "Oh Peter, what am I going to do with you?"

Causing her stress and pain was never my intention. I hadn't willingly brought her into my problems, I hadn't wanted her to see what I'd been reduced to. Yet, I was hurting her, even though my eyes were closed, it was evident in her voice.

All I could physically do was reach for her hand and kiss it softly, "I'm ok."

It was the truth, I really was ok. Fuck, I felt better than ok, the feeling in me was wonderful. And as long as I kept it like that, it could be wonderful all the time. I could feel good all the time. People saw what drugs did so differently, yes the addiction was bad. If you didn't get your fix, it was bad too, it hurt, and you wished the whole world could just crumble at your pain, but as long as you were supplied with what you needed, it was all fine. It was wonderful if you never let yourself hurt.

After a couple of minutes I forced my eyes open just enough to look at Claire. Even when her cheeks were blushed and she bit her lip nervously she looked like a goddess… she was the filling that had been missing inside me. She filled that void, she made me remember how things could be.

Sometimes I thought it was possible, maybe I could go back to what she knew. But one day without any drugs reminded me it wasn't possible. I had bought a one-way ticket into my addiction, and there was no form of going back, for the end of days, I'd just have to make due.

Which was fine with me of course, I really didn't care all that much, but I knew Claire did. She had hopes that she could make it all go away. From experience I knew that couldn't happen, it wouldn't happen. Heidi had tried to do the same thing and had been unsuccessful. She'd told me that a sober life would make me happier, would make me able to enjoy Claire's presence more.

Yes, she was right, but she didn't get it either, _god_, no one did.

"I wish I could believe that you're ok. Why do you do this to me?" Her voice was so soft, so wistful and hurt. I had to swallow, even though my throat was dry, and manage a small smile.

What I did wasn't to hurt her, "I don't mean to-I-you're gorgeous, you know?"

She laughed, and shook her head, bending down to plant a soft kiss on my lips. We both weren't sure what it meant yet, we hadn't gone further, it was just the company of each other that we liked, just being able to be close.

Feeling a little more daring, I put my hand at the back of her head and deepened the kiss, opening my mouth to let her in. I was almost positive she would reject me, but oddly enough, she seemed just as eager.

The phone rang from my pocket, and Claire instantly moved back, allowing me to dig for it, and look at the screen. My eyesight was still somewhat blurred or tired, I wasn't sure, so I had to squint to see the name...Adam.

"Shit."

I wasn't too eager to talk to him. All I wanted was to feel her lips connected to mine again and marinate in her sweetness. But I knew exactly why he was calling. My flight for London was the next day, and Adam being Adam, he wanted to make sure I was ready to go.

"Who is it?" Her hand was still going through my bangs-_her_ bangs, I left them for her.

I pushed the ignore button, and gave her a crooked smile the type I knew she went crazy for, "Want to go to London with me?"

Her frown scared me. Of course, she wouldn't want to go, why would she? I was just some stupid model; it would be embarrassing to go with me somewhere. I would have been embarrassed myself.

"When?" Her sweet breath hit my face with such great force, that I had to close my eyes and sigh.

"Tomorrow, it's only for a few days, we'd be back by Sunday."

"Thanksgiving is on Thursday Peter. We can't miss that", she was stern when she wanted to be, but still looked amazing.

I shrugged, "I miss it every year."

She shook her head at me and frowned, not letting go of my bangs, "Have I told you that you depress me sometimes?"

There was another vibrate from my phone but I just ignored it. Instead, I smiled back at her, hoping to convince her that some stupid American holiday wasn't really _that_ important when you spent it with people who really didn't want you there.

"Will you come with me?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't notice the slight begging that was woven into my words.

Her lip biting always got to me, and as she did it, I could sense she was convinced. She wanted to go with me, "I can't-Andy's coming for Thanksgiving."

* * *

First thing: I want to make it clear that I have no prior experience with drugs first hand, or how they make you feel or react. I've never taken any so I wouldn't personally know. I wrote everything based on research I did, so if i got something wrong, or the reaction wasn't right. I'm sorry! I'm trying to make it realistic :D

Also, I wanted to play with Peter's voice, so you guys could see how his mind works a little better, I hope you liked it! please tell me!


	18. Part XVI

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

**Part XVII**

_C_laire looked at the girl before her, "How do you know my name?"

The teenage girl couldn't have been older than sixteen years old. Still, she was smiling back at Claire with complete joy, "Mohinder talks about _you_ a lot. I'm Molly by the way. Come in."

It was sort of odd to be following the girl in without really knowing her. Claire knew she could be falling into a complete trap, and that the Company could be behind it. Yet, the reason why she was there seemed to make it ok, she was willing to risk everything if they could help Peter.

Inside was just as she remembered it. The apartment hadn't seemed to change in the least, except for a few girlish things that had been thrown around. It instantly told her that the girl that had opened the door for her lived there.

"I'll go get Mohinder, he's on the phone with Matt," She explained.

Claire took a seat on the couch, rather perplexed, Matt and Mohinder were working together? Appearently she'd missed more than she thought all those years. Of course, things were bound to happen, even with her not there.

The map with a lot of pictures was still hung behind a desk, she got up and walked towards it, realizing it was covered in pictures now. Her picture was still there too, as well as Peter's and Nathan's. Theirs seemed to stick out more, and had been placed over all the others, as if they were prominant.

"Claire? Is that really you?" There was still a hint of an Indian man's accent, but barely. She turned around to see Mohinder, a bit aged, wearing glasses, and frowning at her. He looked to be in utter shock, as if she had come back from the dead...but she sort of had, she guessed.

Smiling back, Claire walked forth to hug him, "Yes it's me! I thought the Company would have filled you in on what happened to me?"

He shook his head slowly, still looking rather perplexed, "No, as far as I know, you've been dead for years-_That's_ why Molly always saw you! The Company was keeping you a secret?"

Claire nodded and they both took a seat on the couch. She stayed quiet for a few seconds, letting him think and letting realization hit him. He blinked a few times, then smiled to her, taking her into an awkward hug. They hadn't really gotten that close years ago, when her and Peter had been running around trying to save the world, but they had spent a lot of time together in the lab.

Mohinder had expressed many possibilities for Claire and her regeneration. The miracles that she could produce seemed endless as far as he was concerned.

"Well, where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? How have you been-_where_have you been?" His tone was of mixed excitment and curiousity, as they sat down on his couch.

That's not why she had decided to see him though. She had more urgent things to discuss with him that didn't involve her life while amnesiactic, all of which started, and ended, with Peter.

"Mohinder, I'm here about Peter."

By the sound of her voice, and the tone etched on her face, he could see that it was serious. She watched as his own face ruled out all excitment and surprise at seeing her, and become completely still, as if sensing some of the cause of her concern for Peter. In fact, Claire was pretty sure just by his sudden reaction, that he did in fact know something.

"I see. What is it?"

Her heart beat raised again just thinking about him. It _should_have been a light feeling, a happy, rapid heart emotion, but it wasn't. It was erratic with worry of his well being, something he completely lacked, by what she had witnessed so far. She couldn't help wondering if he was ok, if he was still at his apartment sleeping away on his couch where she had left him, or if he had left.

What she was experiencing with Peter was nothing she'd ever had to go throgh with anyone else. And she knew that she wouldn't have either. Only Peter could have her worry with such fret she'd never imagined possible.

"His abilities Mohinder, they're completely-_gone_," She struggled to let out, it was still hard for her to believe it.

From the other room, Claire could hear the young blonde talking away into the phone, completely oblivious to the seriousness that was taking place with them, but she didn't care. She was curious as to who the girl was, and why she was staying with Mohinder of all people, but that could wait. After all, Peter was the most important person in the world, whether or not _he _believed it.

Mohinder rolled his eyes and Claire knew he too could hear the girl, "She's always talking to Micah. Had I known what teenage hormones were like, I dont know if I would have taken on the responsibility."

"She's your daughter?" Her shock was obvious, and Mohinder smiled.

"Yes, I adopted her after Sylar killed her parents five years ago. She has an ability as well," He seemed distant as he checked his watch.

Something he had mentioned earlier came back to her. Claire frowned, "You said she was able to see me?"

He sighed, and looked back up at Claire with a smile, "Yes, she finds people on a map. she found you plenty of times, but I didn't think much of it. I thought her power was failing her for the longest time, since she was sick once with the Shanti virus."

"The Shanti virus?" asked Claire, frowning slightly.

Mohinder nodded and motioned towards the other room. Claire turned to look at his lab, "It's called the Shanti virus after my younger sister. She was the first known case, and she had an ability, just like you. Molly was the second infected person discovered to have it. It's a deadly virus that diminishes your abilty and eventually kills Meta humans. It's so dangerous in fact, that it could completely wipe out the world."

That made Claire shiver, other than Sylar, there really hadn't eve been anything she was terrified about, but that was quickly changing, as Mohinder went further into detail, "From what I can see it kills people with abilities slowly, but normal everyday humans like I would be killed instantly."

Her thoughts immediatly went to Peter, he was normal now, it wasn't safe for him, "Has there been another outbreak? Molly seems fine now, is there a cure?"

"The only known cure for a while was my blood. But it seems that the virus is immune to my anti bodies now. The only other person I'd think possible of being able to help would be you, Claire. Like I've told you before, your blood would be the cure to any disease known to man."

He stood up, motioning for her to join him, as they walked over to his lab, where a small vile of a black liquid stood securely placed, in a foam case. Claire looked up to Mohinder who seemed to be frowning slightly, "Is this it?"

"Yes. Only, it's not suppose to be here anymore. It makes me nervous, my assistant, Elle, is supposed to transport it back to the Company, but she went to go do something, and I can't take the anxiety," He sighed, rubbing his temple.

Something crossed Claire's mind, "Why don't I just drink it?"

Mohinder frowned at her, "Claire, maybe I didn't explain myself correctly. One single drop of this virus is enough to kill all human beings, the whole vile would most likely kill you, and your anti bodies wouldn't be able to fight it off fast enough...This is deadly."

"Well I'm here now, so I'll be taking it!" Beamed a familiar blond who was standing against the door frame. She had long, almost platinum blond hair and a big smile spread across her face. She was the girl in the Tinkerbell costume who had been pulling Peter on Halloween.

The crease that had been on Mohinder's forehead disappeared and relief filled his face instead, "Do you know how long I've been waiting, Elle? Where have you been?"

"I was here, I was just hearing your interesting story, Mo. I had to drop something off to a friend," She smiled and looked over to Claire, who quickly turned back up to him, "So you're the indestructable cheerleader? Funny, I've heard a lot about you, but I pictured you as a blond."

Elle was pretty, Claire could see that, but there was something in her eyes that scared her. Where Peter lacked emotion, Elle was filled with it, almost to the point that she looked crazy. Her smile was like a warning sign, telling her to be cautious.

"Well, how long have you been here?" Asked Mohinder with an accelerated voice, he was very antsy. Then again, having a deadly virus that could destroy the human population was enough to make you a little anxious.

The blond plopped on to the near by couch but didn't take her eyes off Claire, "Oh, I was here when you guys started talking about the virus. I didn't know Claire wasn't immune to it though." There was a note of malice that scared her.

Carefully, Mohinder place the vile into a foam filled suitcase and locked it closed, handing it to Elle, "You understood wrong. She is immune, just not in a large dose. It could kill her."

...

**_T_**he visit with Mohinder turned out to be uneventful, but informative. He just had not given her the information and assurance she was looking for on Peter. All she knew was to stay as far away from the Shanti virus as possible.

What Mohinder had gone on to explain to her though, was that, other than the fact that he'd given up his abilities, he didn't know much on Peter's case. It was something that had been kept completely secretive in the Company, and away from his prying eyes to see.

In the end, what they had decided was that Mohinder had to do a series of tests on Peter-that is, if Claire could convince him too. She was weary over the fact that he'd refuse to see Mohinder, citing that it would be useless. But Claire knew that if she could just convince him to go, to see that getting his abilities back was possible, then maybe-just maybe it would make his...addiction go away.

That word more than anything in the world had begun to haunt her. It was just shocking that it could be associated with Peter, it scared her, it mad**e** her sick.

After she left Mohinder's, she rushed back to the apartment. Claire hadn't liked the way she had left Peter, she wasn't sure she could trust his sleeping. Actually, she hated to say it, but she wasn't even sure she could trust him. After all, what she'd learned from TV and movies was that drug addicts weren't trustworthy at all, they lied and stole, and-she just couldn't keep thinking about it.

She opened the door to the apartment, there was no noise, no movement. It scared her. What if he was gone? She didn't want him to be. But to her pleasant surprise he was sleeping just where she'd left him. Only, there was something different. His skin was clammy looking, and he'd gone paler than before.

Claire sat next to him and pushed some of his bangs back. He was so beautiful even when he looked sick, with pale lips, clammy skin, and breathing slowly, he was still gorgeous.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something lingering by his side, something that was poking out of his pocket. She frowned, and looked closer, picking up the object that was falling out. As her hand touched it, her whole body turned into ice and her chest tightened.

It was a small ziploc baggie, with powder. Claire immediately looked up at Peter's still face, "Peter?"

He didn't move at all. Panic rose inside Claire, and she grabbed his face, moving it back and forth, trying to get a response from him, but he wouldn't budge. Her breathing heightened, and she felt her head getting light with worry.

"Peter**,**" She called him again, trying to force him into answering her. She should have never left him alone, she knew that now. It was all too surreal, being there, just hoping he'd breath, or give her any sign of life.

Just as she was about to slap him, she noticed his lips part slightly and murmur, "Hey**,** beautiful."

Claire let herself fall against him, making sure not to crush him, and finally exhaled. He always had a very mixed scent between cigarettes and his cologne, but it fit him really well. After a few seconds, she sat back up and brushed his bangs with her fingers, earning a tiny smile from him that made her heart flutter.

Feeling relief at his responses, she sighed again, "Oh**,** Peter, what am I going to do with you?"

She wasn't sure if she could take the constant stress and worrying. It scared her, because he didn't seem to care about what potential harm he was doing to himself, he didn't see it. Claire could feel her hand being pulled towards his mouth with his trembling fingers, and kissing it softly. His lips felt slightly cooler against her skin, it scared her, his lips had been warm once.

Sensing that she was still unconvined by his smile, he added, "I'm ok."

He was not ok. He was sick, pale, and looked so weak she was afraid he'd pass out on her right then. And before she knew it, a sob was forming at her chest, and threatening tears were brimming her eyes, but she bit her lip in protest. The last thing that Peter needed was to see how distraught his situation made her.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to reveal the hallow darkness that they had become. It only made Claire want to cry more, there was nothing left of who he was, it was a blank Peter. It was indescribable, what she felt, because how could she feel something towards him when he was so empty? So hollow? Spared of any emotion or want. A complete stranger.

"I wish I could believe that you're ok. Why do you do this to me?" Claire eyed his body. He was shaking, and she noticed for the first time a flicker of something caught in his eye. He swallowed, and blinked at her slowly, maybe not sure of what to say back.

She noticed his breath catch in his throat and he formed another small fake smile. It was only to make her feel better, and convince her that he was ok, that the situation was ok, but she knew it was far from that, "I don't mean to-I-you're gorgeous, you know?"

As he had said that, his eyes blinked and the glossy tinge to them went away somewhat, as if it was a realization. She wanted to cry, and sob, and shake him more awake, but all Claire could do that moment was laugh at his randomness, and shake her head.

His lips were so inviting. They were getting their natural pinkness back, and were calling her name, alluring her. It wasn't fair for him to be that close to her with dazzling lips. It was enough to make any girl start attacking them. Claire couldn't help herself, she connected them, filled the emptiness that they both felt without each others touch.

Kissing him was ok, it was what they did, kiss. Purely innocent, meaningless really, just to pass time. At least, that's what she kept telling herself, she didn't want to complicate things more than they already were.

The chaste kissing didn't seem to be enough for Peter now though. He pulled her face towards him and opened his mouth**,** inviting her in. Claire's stomach erupted in butterflies and soon she found herself in complete bliss**,** kissing him back passionately. Her mind skipped with images of what she suddenly wanted. It grew ideas, thoughts, desires-all unholy.

She moved her leg slightly, prepared to straddle him-but his phone went off. She pulled back instantly, being brought back into reality, with a fire alarm screaming, Andy!

Peter managed to pull his cellphone out, and sighed at the screen, "shit."

The silkiness of his bangs caught her eye, and she couldn't help herself, she just had to run her fingers through them. It's what she was most grateful for, the fact that he'd never chopped them off. They were beautiful, he was art, he was exquisite, he was her own Mona Lisa. And**,** **G**od**,** was she thankful that he couldn't read her thoughts at that moment and see her complete obsession with his hair.

"Who is it?" Never did her eyes leave his beautiful tracing of his face. Looking at him all day was so easy, she could get lost in his trance, he was so hypnotic without even knowing it.

When his crooked smile grew, Claire wanted to literally sigh. It wasn't fair how amazing he was, "Do you want to go with me to London?"

Yes! Of course she did. This was her second chance. She wanted to get away with him, watch him at work, modeling and pouting at the camera. The very idea of watching him at work excited her. She wanted to see the whole process of being a model, and even more, seeing Peter at work sounded fascinating.

The other half of her thought more logically though, "When?"

"Tomorrow. It's only for a few days, we'd be back by Sunday."

Tomorrow was Wednesday, Thanksgiving the day after. She couldnt' go, Andy was coming.

They had planned it months in advance that he would visit her for Thanksgiving with the Petrelli's. Somehow...she felt lament towards it now. How selfish was it that she didn't want to be away from Peter at all?

"Thanksgiving is on Thursday Peter. We can't miss that**,**" She regretted uttering the words as they came out.

He shrugged, "I miss it every year."

She shook her head at him and frowned, not letting go of his bangs, "Have I told you that you depress me sometimes?"

Peter's phone started vibrating again, but he ignored it and smiled at Claire, "Will you come with me?"

His request was so raw, full of want, and a simple desire. It broke her heart to be denying him. She really didn't want to, the thought of spending a few days with him in a complete different country sounded spontaneous, exciting even...But realistically, she couldn't go. It wouldn't be fair to Andy, "I can't-Andy's coming for Thanksgiving."

The pain that shot through his eyes was the most potent that Claire had yet to see. The rejection that she knew he felt, radiated through him, and scarred his face with a frown he was trying to fight. Why did she matter so much to him? It was just a trip, there would be other opportunities**,** wouldn't there?

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed, then back at her with a big smile, "That's great. Are you excited to see him?"

It surprised her that his question was sincere. It didn't sound forced or half-assed. He genuinelycared, it caught her off gaurd. Then again, Peter was just a bubble full of surprises.

The question was though, was she excited about seeing Andy? Honestly? Yes, she was. She cherished the time they were able to spend together, and see each other. It was rare now that she had moved to the east coast, while he was still in Texas. At the same time though, she wasn't. That other part of her just wanted him to disappear, as if she'd never met him to begin with, and it scared her.

"Yes I am, I've been waiting since September**,**" Claire sighed as she said it, "Before I came here, we were never apart**,** you know? It's been hard for the both of us. But I don't think the distance has hurt our relationship like it has to others. I think we're stronger? I just feel so safe when I'm with him, do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt like that?"

Before she realized what she was saying, it had all come out. in one big breath, half of her heart was professing her need and love for Andy to Peter, there was something wrong with that, she knew it.

And when she cocked her head to look at his face, she saw the wrongness of her speech for a second. It flickered in his eyes, like he was saving it to his memory-but then it was gone. And instead replaced by another smile, "Once...with a blonde."

Claire's other half of her heart crumbled with jealousy. The only blonde she could think of was the one dressed as Tinkerbell at the Petrelli Halloween party. Their closeness was evident, the pout she had given Peter that night had been easy to read-there was something going on between the both of them.

"What's she like?" She asked, trying to be as happy for him as he had been for her.  
Peter's eyes glinted and he frowned a little, trying to smirk, "She has a great smile. She's saved me-" He caught himself, and looked through out the apartment, not wanting to look at her directly, "I think she's trying to again."

Huh.So she wasn't the only one trying to save him. Claire didn't know whether to be relieved or angry about it, but she was leaning more towards the angry side. It was only supposed to be her that could save Peter, not some stupid**,** blonde bimbo.

"You must really like her**,**" Her whisper was barely audible.

He nodded strongly, and frowned, "I-I think I Lo-"

Vibrating came from his pocket again, and Peter sighed, rolling his eyes and smiling up at her, "Adam."

Claire got off of him completely and sat by his side, playing with the ends o**f** her hair, when something else crossed her mind.

Peter was still talking on the phone with Adam lazily, but looked over to smile at her. Goosebumps again erupted in her already mixed stomach. His fingers traced her cheek, sending a massive amount of butterflies through out her entire body.

When he was done, he shut his phone and put it on the table, looking over to her, "I'm going to miss you."

Claire's hands enveloped his and allowed her to get closer to him, so he was spooning her, "Peter? Were you invited to a Sorority Halloween party? And did you go to lunch with the girl that invited you?"

His h**e**ad was resting comfortably in the crook of her neck and planting small kisses on it, not really paying any attention to what she was saying. She was even pretty sure, that he was trying to distact her, and it was working fairly well.

"Yes, why? Are you jealous?"

Yes, was her initial thought. Any girl that got next to him made Claire angry. It was irrational, really. She'd always felt secure with Andy, no one could make her fear that they could take him away from her, but it was just different with Peter. It's as if he hung to her by a single thread and at any moment, someone could just snatch him away from her.

But of course, Claire wasn't to tell him just how deep her jealousy ran, "No, I was just curious. The girl sits in front of me in Psychology. She's obsessed with you, I think she'd have your babies if you let her."

Peter chuckled against her softly, and breathed in, wrapping his arms around her tighter. For a second, Claire wondered if he could possibly feel the same way, "I'd pick you over babies any day Claire."

...

Claire knew she should have realized that Thanksgiving at the Petrelli's wasn't the same as celebrating it with Andy's family, or from what she could barely and painfully remember-The Bennet's. No, the Petrelli's went all out, and it wasn't just a small family affair, there were at least thirty guests.

Could they possibly do anything traditionally? Probabaly not**,** she thought to herself as she zipped up a black Chanel mini dress that Angela had left on her bed with a note**,** requesting her to wear it that night.

Control Freak. That's what Angela was, and not just one of her own life, but everyone else's as well. From what Claire could see, she dressed everyone, arranged their schedules and told them what they could and could not say to guests. If she had really cared, she would have felt suffocated, but all Claire could really think of was the smaller half of herself that was excited to see Andy.

As she started walking down the stairs, her heart fluttered, but only slightly at his sight. He was wearing a suit, and fit in quite well with those around him. If Claire hadn't known who he was, she'd assume he was the son of some Tycoon.

Andy spotted her instantly, and met her half way up the stairs to take her into his arms and twirl her around, "You are so pretty**,** Claire."

_Pretty_. There wasn't anything wrong with that word at all, and it didn't even bother her. But she did have to acknowledge the difference between that and beautiful. Why hadn't he called her that? Peter had on many occasions. And he showed her just how beautiful he thought she was. Not that Andy didn't-he did, it was just**,** different?

She inwardly sighed at her confusing thoughts and pushed them aside, instead enjoying being in Andy's arms again.

"Well you aren't half bad yourself, and you look really good**,**" She whispered to him sweetly. The word beautiful only fit Peter for some reason, not Andy.

He frowned and gave her a weird smile, "Yeah...You're grandmother had it hanging on the outside of my closet with a note that said to wear it tonight."

She giggled, "Yes, Angela does that, but she has really good taste in clothes. I guess that's sort of where Peter gets it."

"What do you mean?" **H**e asked taking her hand as they started walking down the stairs together. Suddenly all eyes were momentarily on her, and she groaned inaudibly, she hated being the center of attention.

Claire cleared her throat and looked back up at him, "Oh? I forgot to tell you**,** I guess. Peter is a model."

Andy gasped, "I knew he looked familiar! I swear I saw him in that Louis Vuitton store where I bought you your purse last year."

"Well why didn't you tell me? It took me a long time to figure it out**,**" she muttered**,** annoyance creeping up on her.

They turned and walked into the formal living room, where Nathan was animatedly talking with some of the guests. He spotted them immediately and waved at Andy, "Andy**,** come here**,** we were just talking about that football game last week-"

Football. That's all you had to say to get his attention and Andy was a goner. He immediatly let go of Claire's hand and made his way over to Nathan to talk sports. It wasn't one of Claire's favorite topics in the least, which was why she sighed and turned her heel to walk out, and almost ran into someone as she was about to enter the bathroom.

It was the blond she'd met at Mohinder's apartment-his assistant, Elle. She was also the girl that Claire had seen occupying Peter's attention on Halloween at the Petrelli party.

"Oh**,** I'm sorry, I didn't see where I was going. You're Elle**,** right?" Asked Claire politely.

Elle nodded and her crazy smile grew, frightening Claire a little, "Yes. Claire, right?"

Even her voice sounded a little off. Claire wasn't one to judge people right away, but she knew that Elle wasn't normal, there was something off about her.

"I don't mean to be rude, but-what are you doing here exactly?"

She giggled, "Oh you must not know! I'm Peter's girlfriend."

Claire felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her in that instant, and swallowed to try and compose herself. Not once, in the many months that she'd been back had anyone mentioned he had a girlfriend, least of all him. Fury invaded her body, and she crossed her arms, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, really trying to contain herself.

"Girlfriend? Really? Peter's never mentioned anything. You must have just started dating right?" It was more of an accusation rather than a question.

Elle looked abashed, "Oh no. It's pretty serious now, we've been dating for**,** like**,** four years now."

Another blow to her chest. She could feel her breakfast making its way up and threatening to come out. But then, it stopped-he had no reason to feel the need to inform her. It's not like there was really something going on between the both of them. She wanted to hit herself, she'd always assumed he was still single, but now wondered how she could have been so blind. Peter was gorgeous, beautiful, and someone like him was bound to be in a relationship.

Realization hit her. She was the blond. She was the one tryng to save him, who'd saved him before. _Elle_ was the only one Peter felt safe with.

* * *

Thanks to ellie for doing a wonderful job of betaing! I hope you guys enjoyed it. :D


	19. Part XVII

**elenwyn**: Peter is a flirt isn't he? I think he does know lol

**Cesia Illuser**: It is funny that she's jealous of herself isn't it? Here yah go beth, I think you'll like this one ;)

**Gennibean:** I know, writing about Elle and Andy is really hard when i dont like them lol.

**faithfulwriter**: Hmm, I wonder who he's talking about too lol. The chapter below should tell you :D

**everybodysmile**: lol, i feel the same way! Hope you like the chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

Also a big thanks to **Ellie** who's been beta-ing this story for me. You're totally awesome!

* * *

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

**Part XVII**

_P_eter was horrible with dates, or anything to do with time. Which was why it was a complete shock to her to see his caller ID on her phone. The other reason why she was shocked was because she couldn't remember giving him her phone number. Something abut talking to Peter on the phone sounded so alien, which was why she hit the ignore button and dropped the phone on her bed.

Claire wondered why he was even calling, after all he had a blonde girlfriend. Why couldn't he stop bothering her and go play Barbie and Ken with Elle? She looked like a Barbie with her blond hair, and huge smile. In fact she didn't look like any Barbie, Elle could have been Malibu Barbie, Peter liked that right? Of course he did.

Jealousy wasn't the problem either. How could it be? She didn't even like him that way, she was just obsessed with his hair, crooked smile, pale skin, soft pink lips-but not him. It was completely different, and she had figured out that the only reason why she'd slept over at his apartment so many times and kissed him had been because she liked his body, which (yes she knew) was completely superficial.

But she brushed thoughts of him off, attempting to do her essay for Psychology. Thinking of psychology though, reminded her of the girls that sat in front of her and spoke non stop about him. So really, the whole idea of not thinking about him, was pretty dumb, because no matter what she tried to do, he was always around her-**always**.

Her Ipod reminded her of him because it was filled with _his _music. He'd done her the favor of syncing her Ipod to his laptop, without her knowledge. Now she knew it was some type of sick joke, so that even when she wanted her ears to be filled with melodic voices, she'd still think of him. From Sia, to The Kooks, Goldfrapp-everything had Peter's signature to it.

Even looking out the window reminded her of him, how ridiculous was that? It reminded her of when she'd first jumped out of a window to go save him at Kirby Plaza so he wouldn't explode. It was pretty sad that she was that obsessive, then again the larger part of her enjoyed being completely infatuated with him.

From her bed, the phone went off again, and Claire rolled her eyes knowing that her self restraint was going away, and she felt more and more obligated to answer. But no, she refused. He had to learn a lesson. What was it? Well she wasn't all that sure. It did have to do with the fact that he needed to learn not to lie to her and be honest.

What was the big deal with telling her he was romantically involved just like she was anyway? She wouldn't have blown him off if he'd just done that.

The alarm clock on her desk went off, telling her it was time for another lovely class with girls who were obsessed with Peter. Just great, she thought, exactly what she needed. The very prospect of having to endure another class filled with squeing and 'oh my Gods' didn't look very appealing to her, but she also couldn't miss the class.

As she picked up her bag and books, the phone kept ringing and she sighed, letting Andy's face fill her mind and closing the door behind her as she left for class.

...

Claire fell into her seat and sighed, hearing the two bimbos who sat in front of her giggling as they walked into the classroom. The blonde was looking out the door and blushing, while the brunette-Ally whispered something to her.

They seriously acted like preteen girls who were in their freshman year of high school instead of their age. Claire thought they were sort of lucky to be oblivious to real problems and to be stuck in their own little bubbles of false perfection.

With a loud clash, they dropped their books on their desk in front of Claire, making her jump, and her blood boil with annoyance. Not only were they immature, but clumsy as well, and had absolutely no respect towards other people, or so it was evident to Claire.

"Oh my God! He so likes you", squee'd Ally, sitting down excitedly.

The blond animatedly fanned herself and exhaled deeply, "You really think so? He's so hot!"

Ally scoffed, and slammed down a magazine in the middle of them, "Have you read his new interview from Nylon? Read! It's got to be totally about you!"

Claire rolled her eyes and laid her head on her arms, trying to shut them out, but it was impossible with their voices so near to her and loud. So she sighed and listened as Ally began to read the interview to Amber.

_He's the supermodel everyone wants to hire. The brother of Nathan Petrelli, the senator of New York City ( who plans on running for office). He's so stunning, he's being called Gia's equal. He parties with Pete Doherty and is often seen hanging out with Kate Moss. His name is Peter Petrelli. _

_The supermodel who lives an eccentric lifestyle, decided to leave his nurse scrubs behind to dazzle millions of girls in front of the camera. __He has contracts with Vogue, Burberry, Armani, and is the muse of Anna Wintour. But the supermodel claims to just want to be normal (He was a meta human too!) and as I sat down with him in Starbucks for the interview, it was obvious that Peter Petrelli is anything but ordinary. _

_Nylon: Does it ever freak you out to have so many girls staring at you?_

_PP: (He looks around frowning) They are? Where?_

_Nylon: Haha! So modest. So tell us, is it true that you use to be a Meta human, but lost your abilities? How did you loose them? ( As I ask him this, he shifts in his seat.)_

_PP: Yes, I use to be an Empath. Which means I could basically absorb everybody elses ability, but I took medicine to make them go away. _

_Nylon: Empath? That's intimidating. It sounds like you had it all! Why did you decide to have them taken away? when it's something everyone wants these days?_

_PP: I **did** have it all, and I loved them. But it was too much, I was absorbing too many powers that I couldn't control. And when I hurt someone I truly cared about, that was the end for me. I didn't want them anymore. _

_Nylon: That sounds like it really traumatized you, but it also leads us to the next sizzling question that every girl is curious about. Is there anyone special in your life right now?_

_PP: (He smiles, showing his iconic crooked grin) There is. I don't like to talk about her though. It's something I want to keep private, just for the two of us. _

_Nylon: Is she in the fashion world? There's been rumors floating around about model Maya Herrera. Ever since you guys took that steamy topless picture together for Guess Jeans. _

_PP: (Scoffs) No way. Maya is an old friend, but she's dating a mutual friend of ours- they're actually pretty serious. And those pictures were taken in a very professional matter-there's nothing more than friendship there. _

_Nylon: So who is this mystery girl then? Do you keep her locked up inside your apartment?_

_PP: (Smiles again) She lives in New York, and goes to NYU, and she lives on campus. _

_Nylon: Are there any marriage proposals coming anytime soon? You know, this is going to break the hearts of millions of girls around the world!_

_PP: Marriage proposals? God no. We aren't even really dating, we've gone for lunch and stuff, but I haven't even got her to say that she's into me._

_Nylon: A girl refusing Peter Petrelli? Is she blind? Deaf? I'm pretty sure that's never happened to you!_

_PP: Actually, every girl I have ever been into has pretty much refused me. I'm the rebound guy for girls. (He shrugs and sips from his coffee)_

_Nylon: Well, I know a few girls that would give this mystery girl of yours, a run for her money. But, what do you look for in girls? What's a turn on for you?_

_PP: Blondes. Definitely blondes. _

_There you have it girls. The IT boy that you all love may or may not be taken. But if there's one thing he likes for sure it's blondes. So if you're not one and you want a chance with Peter Petrelli, go and buy yourself some hair dye right now!_

"Do you really think he means me?" Amber bit her lip.

Claire let a tiny growl out, so it was either Amber or Elle. But definitely not her, because she wasn't blonde. Anger boiled inside her, the fact that he'd even done the interview and hadn't told her was upsetting all on it's own.

Ally scoffed, "Like duh! Hello you're blonde, you go to NYU, you live on campus, you went to lunch together, and he said you guys aren't like officially dating! Of course its you! Who else could it possibly be?"

For once, in the entire time she'd been taking that class with them, Claire had to say she agreed with Ally. All clues pointed towards Amber-Peter liked Amber. But even as she said it in her mind, it left a sour taste in her mouth. Like sucking on a pen accidentally and getting the ink on your tongue. There was just something wrong about it, like all the pieces to the puzzles didn't exactly fit.

Amber squee'd again and hugged Ally, "Can you believe he's waiting for me outside? This is like a dream come true! Oh my God!"

She couldn't take it anymore. Claire sat up, "He didn't go to your sorority party though, did he?" There was a tinge of poison in her voice, but they deserved it for taunting her. A person could only take so much before they exploded.

The fact that she was speaking seemed to scare both girls, but Amber recovered faster than Ally, "How do you know?"

Claire grabbed her stuff, and told herself to keep calm, "Because _I_ spent the night with him, in _his_ apartment." She stood up and didn't turn back to see the look on their faces as she stormed out of the classroom completely ignoring her professor.

He was standing outside against the building smoking a cigarette, looking hot. He had on a black suit, and a black v-neck sweater underneath with his hair completely tousled, and white vans. It was amazing how he could make vans work with a suit, he was amazing.

Not that Claire cared, she was far too busy being mad and wondering how she had let herself start falling for a complete man whore. That's truly what he seemed to be, a man whore, who liked playing with girls' emotions and feelings. He liked getting them close and confusing the hell out of them.

But she wasn't confused anymore, she wasn't even in the running for his affection it seemed. From everything that had been layed before her eyes and told to her, he truly only saw her as his niece. All the moves he'd made on her, all the kisses they'd shared, it was purely innocent, and she'd thought into them too much.

It was funny to her that she'd thought it was possible for him to even be interested in her. She wasn't beautiful, and he was surrounded by gorgeous models everyday. Girls who were paid to be beautiful, to pose with him in pictures that they both deserved to be in. How could she possibly compete with that? She couldn't.

Peter looked up to her slowly and smiled, blinking slowly, "Hey."

Dam him, and his perfection.

His greeting wasn't innocent, it was a trap for her. Even if his lips were calling her name, and his bangs begged to be touched by her fingers, she wouldn't give in. She had to be strong, or risk loosing her mind in his confusing model world, "Don't talk to me."

"What?" He had stood up instantly, and was gawking at her as if she'd just shot him with a bee-bee gun.

Flushed, and on the edge of her nerves, Claire pursed her lips and kept walking. She was completely convinced she could do it, ignore him, "You heard me. Why don't you just go wait back there for your little blonde bimbo to walk out of class?"

Tenderly, but firmly, he grabbed her arm and twirled her around with force she didn't think he had anymore. His expression was completely confused, and she could see his lack of understanding, "What the hell are you talking about Claire?"

She pulled her arm away roughly, "Why don't you go ask your girlfriend, Elle?"

It had started to sprinkle around them, and Peter dropped his cigarette, concentrating on her. They both wouldn't take their eyes off each other, and Claire took Peter's silence for confirmation. What Elle had said was true.

A small part of her had thought it wasn't, she'd been convinced that it was all a lie. But what more proof could she want than Peter's silence at her accusation? The bubbles of hope that she had built, dreaming that there was something he felt for her started popping and falling down inside her. Her butterflies were still there, but it hurt, because they weren't reciprocated.

She turned again, to hide her anger and frustration that was directed towards herself, but Peter kept up with her pace, not seeming to care that he was getting his expensive Tom Ford suit wet.

"Elle has never been my girlfriend."

With a scoff, Claire hissed, "Of course she is. I spoke with her at Thanksgiving, which you _so_ conveniently missed. It was because you didn't want us to be in the room at the same time, isn't it? And the other day when I woke up in your apartment, you didn't even deny you had a girlfriend! I'm so stupid! I didn't see it! Of course you would have a girlfriend!"

She couldn't stop herself, it was all so clear to her, that she had to let it out and express how she truly felt. Claire needed to say it out loud so that she could realize it was the truth, and convince herself that what she had thought had been going on with Peter was just all a stupid facade of lies built upon unhealed wounds.

Claire hadn't noticed that Peter wasn't following her until she stopped and looked back to see him dead in his tracks, looking at her with a completely bemused face, "You're so wrong Claire."

"Well you're always talking about blondes too! Like that stupid interview you did. When they asked you what your turn on was, you said it was blondes!"

Peter closed in the gap between them, and held her shoulders with his hands softly, "I do like a blonde, but not blondes in general." He eyed her hair, and held a strand between his finger, "This is just some dye Claire."

The anger that had been fueling her began to fade ever so slowly. All she was aware about was their proximity and his succulent lips. His lips were always perfect and plump. Maybe other people wouldn't have noticed, but she always did. She could especially tell the difference when they had been kissing, and his lips would have that pink breath taking look away, as if they'd been suffocated. It always made her want to attack them even more too.

But his lips alone weren't enough to make her forget this time. The cold hard truth was still there, "But Elle said tha-"

"Forget what she said. She's a sociopath. I'm not going to lie-there was something between us, but it never amounted to anything. I've only ever wanted one person all this time."

Claire sighed and rolled her eyes, "Amber."

"I don't know any Amber Claire. Why are you being so stubborn? Can't you see who the only person I've ever wanted is?" His eyes searched her deeply, trying to communicate with her, but she refused, and looked away, crossing her arms.

Of course he knew who Amber was, they had gone out for lunch together. He had even admitted to her that she'd invited him to her sorority party, it was useless of him to be lying to her, when she knew the truth, "Oh so you're saying that it's not true that she invited you to her party now? It's not true that you're waiting for her out here and for our class to be over?"

"No. I came here for you. I didn't even know she had a class with you. Can't you see it? You're the only person I've ever felt this way about. I'm completely and irrevocably infatuated with you."

His hand reached her cheek and caressed it slowly with his satin like finger tips. His tiny smirk brought the bubbles back and the butterflies fluttered through out her body and no longer hurt. They were breezy and had started making her body tingly, with his touch.

She didn't want to smile, but she couldn't help it. A tiny smile crept on her face, "You like me?"

Peter chuckled, and kissed her forehead, "Yes, I do."

"But I'm not blonde", She frowned still a little bit confused.

For years she had been a brunette, so it really didn't make any sense. But Peter sighed, and looked at her adoringly, "You are a blonde. This is just a facade that's hiding the real you."

The opening of the her classroom door surprised Claire, bringing her back from the little world they had created for eachother. And out of the corner of her eye, she could see Amber searching for Peter, "Oh uh. Your sorority girl is looking for you."

He grabbed her hand, and together they started walking away. When they were far enough away so that she couldn't see them, Peter looked at Claire, "You're my only girl."

...

Andy and Her's relationship had never been superficial or strained in any way. In fact, it was pretty perfect. So perfect, that for a long time she hadn't doubted that eventually they'd be married and with children on the way. Claire had even picked out her dream dress, and knew what the reason was for why one of her rings had mysteriously disappeared. She was thrilled it was gone, because it meant that he was thinking along the same things that she was. Now that she lay next to Peter though, her thoughts were quite different.

She brushed her fingertips along the surface of his relaxed face as he slept, he looked very much like what she thought an angel should look like. His skin was ivory and ever so soft, his lips were the color of pale pink rose petals, his hair was softer than satin and glided through her fingers perfectly. The thing she couldn't fathom though, was that he wanted her, and _only_ her.

The thought of living a life next to Andy was pleasant, and it had always been something she wanted from the moment she had met him, but at the same time, she equally wanted Peter as much, if not more.

With Peter she felt territorial. The very thought of him even touching another girl drove her insane. The first time she had really noticed it was when Heidi had been trying to console him. She hadn't understood it then, but now she could see that it was just her irrational jealousy that had made her angry.

But there was another complication that had been swirling in her mind as of late that didn't involve Andy. It was incest. She had finally figured out that it was what was going on between the both of them. And strangely enough, it didn't bother her. It should have bothered her, and she knew that if she chose him there would be obstacles, but the reward of having Peter just for herself made it worth it.

He moved against her, slowly started fluttering his eyes open. Claire's hand was still stroking his cheek, and he smiled, lazily closing his eyes again, "What are you doing?"

"I like your hair, and your face- I like them a lot", She cooed, flushing a bit. After all, it was quite intimidating being in a bed with a gorgeous supermodel.

Peter sighed, and smiled, raising his hand to bring her face to his for a kiss, "You're silly Claire."

Silly or not, it was the truth, and she smiled kissing him back. She wanted to deepen it, so she captured his legs under hers and rubbed her leg up and down, trying to send him a clue of what she wanted. His own hand glided to her waist, and pulled her closer to him, egging on her desire for him. But when she started trailing her kisses to his neck, Peter stiffened and pulled away, with a sigh.

"Give me a moment please", He mumbled standing up from the bed and going towards the bathroom with his hair sticking up all over the place. Claire inwardly growled, laying quite unsatisfied on the bed.

All she wanted was him back in the bed so that she could run her barefeet along his legs, and pin him down underneath her. There was a hole of unsatisfaction in her stomach that she wanted filled and Andy had never dreampt of taking her the way she wanted to be taken by Peter. And she really hadn't ever wanted Andy the way she suddenly wanted Peter, it was almost animalistic.

Only a few minutes. That's all that it would take for her to get what she wanted. She looked down at what she was wearing and bit her lip. She was still in her jeans and pink wifebeater. It was cute, but it wasn't comfortable or sexy at all. But taking it off also made her nervous, shouldn't he do it? Claire shivered at the thought of having Peter undress her, it was much more appealing. Yes, she decided, she'd wait.

The few minutes turned into twenty, and Claire crossed her arms, all of her want leaving her. The wait had been too much, and she no longer wanted to be undressed by him.

A click of a door sounded, and Claire turned over on the bed, facing away as Peter made his way back on the bed and hugged her from behind. His moves were tentative, and she could feel his shallow breath on her neck as he rested his head on her shoulder. In a sloth like way, he made his arms around her waist and hugged her.

Claire didn't have to turn around and look at him to note the difference in him. He was weaker, his touch was shaky-it wasn't her Peter anymore. It was some imposter that entered his body when he filled it with drugs, that drove her insane with sadness and worry. She was supposed to be helping him, but how could she do that, when he wasn't even helping himself?

He planted a trembling chaste kiss on her neck, "What's wrong?"

"You know what", She sighed and turned to look at him angrily. What she found shattered her earlier thoughts. He was empty again, bared of any emotion. A deathly pale color had gone to his skin, his glossy eyes seemed to have to struggle to stay open.

Yelling at him wouldn't do any good, she knew. So she sighed and let herself sunggle against him again, swallowing the lump that had grown in her throat, "Do you still like Elle?"

The cool of his breath went up her nose, making her momentarily dizzy, "I've never liked her Claire. You've always been the one I wanted. It's always been you."

"Then why were you with her?"

Peter sighed, and closed his eyes. His words were slow and soft, "I was never with her. She was just something to distract me from missing you- why did you dye your hair?" Like many times before, he was playing with her hair, in a swaying way.

Claire frowned, trying to think back all those years. She hadn't ever dyed it. When she had woken up in that coffee shop it had been brown.

"I never dyed it. I think the Company did it while I was unconscious. Probably to make me less noticable towards everyone who used to know me."

Her confession made Peter shiver, and his trembling body tried to hug her closer to him, though his grasp was still weak, "I swear Claire, If I had known the Company had taken you away, I would have gone for you right away."

Since Claire had gotten her memory back, she'd wondered that. Had Peter known she was taken by the Company instead of dead, would he have gone to rescue her? A smile on her smug face now knew the answer, and it comforted her, but there was still uncertainty in his touch.

"I know. But it's ok, I'm here now, and I'm never leaving **you** again."


	20. Part XVIII

elenwyn: lol rememer what you said? I'm expecting an extra long review this time :D Thank you ellie!!

faithfulwriter: Yep it's her! thanks for reading :D

yami1616: lol I get the feeling he isnt too concerned about that right now. Thanks!

pairegal21: Yep claire's the blonde :D Thanks for reading and reviewing like always lauren!

everybodysmile: I will eventually :D...maybe? We'll just have to see what he decides :D Thanks for reading Kat!

* * *

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

**Part XVIII**

**_O_**n the rare occasion when Claire would open a magazine, or even glance at one, she had never taken time to truly appreciate the ads or model photos. She really hadn't given much thought to what it took to shoot it. To her it was simple; get a model, the venue where the pictures would be taken, and the photographer. She really hadn't ever thought it took so much preparation and people to produce what she, usually, easily ignored.

Truthfully, she was rather ashamed of herself for thinking it was so easy, and she felt quite out of place as people ran around her with clip boards and cell phones, at a ridiculous speed.

There were hair stylists, make-up artists, at least five people working on Peter's wardrobe, the photographer, and two assistants, and not to mention about fifty other people doing other things around the set. It was rather intimidating to say the least.

Claire felt like a little girl, completely out of place in the world of modeling. Not Peter though, he seemed quite unaffected by it all, as he sat in his seat and let the hair stylist play with his bangs, while the make-up artist applied ever so little make-up on his face.

His skin was so perfect he really didn't need much. What she was applying was simply bronzer, because he was so pale, or so she said. But of course, the paleness was something Claire liked very much.

By the side of Peter, was also Adam, who Claire didn't find so scary anymore. In fact, he was sort of nice, and rather protective of Peter. When she'd asked him about it, he had shrugged and told her that he just didn't want to see him dead so young, because he had so much potential. The way he had said it had been with little sentiment, but Claire could see that he cared for Peter. Who wouldn't, when he was so perfect?

A flushing girl with a clipboard rushed up to the stylists who were working on him, "Is he almost done? We have to get him on the set _ASAP_." She sounded frantic, as if her job depended on him.

The hair stylist nodded, "He doesn't need much work. Just five minutes more."

With a curt nod, the girl left, running to do something else that was probably on her clipboard. But before she did, she stole a glance at Peter, and though she tried to hide it, Claire could see the interest that she had with him. It made the tiny, jealous monster inside of her wake up, and she took a step closer to Peter instinctively, protecting her territory.

Peter hadn't noticed, he merely squirmed in his seat and sighed. It seemed that the preparation stage was boring him. He looked up at the hair stylist with a pleading expression, "Almost done?"

She slapped him playfully on his shoulder, "Not you too. Don't tell me; for once you can't wait to be in front of the camera." A smile made its way to her face, and she shook her head in laughter, "You've always been camera shy, Peter."

He sighed, and tapped his finger tips on side of the chair impatiently, "No, no- I just want a cigarette before it." He looked around the room with edginess.

Adam, who was still on the phone, put his hand on his shoulder calmly, and forced Peter to look up at him, "Not here, Peter, we've _discussed_ this."

Claire frowned in confusion, he wasn't allowed to have his cigarette? Even she thought that was a bit controlling. Peter had been right, Adam did go to extremes when he was around him.

But Peter inhaled deeply, and spoke low, enunciating every word with a flat tone, "I just want a fucking cigarette."

The hostility rolling from his tongue shocked Claire, and the step she had taken towards him, when the girl had sighed, was completely reversed as she stepped away from him.

What scared _her _though, didn't seem to faze Adam as he sighed and shook his head, continuing the important phone call he was on.

Again, Peter sighed and fidgeted in his seat, clearly annoyed, and completely unaware of how his behaviour was scaring Claire. He couldn't see her rigid body and scared expression. All he did was look down as the stylist finished the last touches to his hair.

With one last comb through his bangs, and spray-she smiled, obviously content with her work, "There you go, all done."

Before Adam could stop him, Peter had sprung up from his seat, and dashed out of the room, mumbling a thanks to the hairdresser, but not taking any notice of Claire. When Adam noticed, he turned to Claire, his expression turned to stone, "Follow him."

She blinked, but rushed out immediately, not wanting to argue with him when he looked so intimidating. Once she was outside though, the cold December air caught up to her and she shivered, covering her sweater tightly around her, as her eyes searched for Peter.

But he wasn't anywhere to be seen, not even where they had set up the shoot.

There were plenty of people, all running around doing various things, but Peter wasn't one of those. Her heart beat quickened, afraid he'd left for a moment, but when a rolling rack with clothes was suddenly moved, she spotted him. He was sitting down on a small stool, with one arm wrapped around his legs, and the other one holding his cigarette.

His eyes were wide open, staring at the floor with a horrified expression. It was the type of look you got when you discovered a dead body, or discovered you were adopted-she'd gone through that, but she couldn't understand why he had the look.

"Hey," She called, walking up to him but not grabbing his attention, not that he even turned to look at her. She faintly heard him mumble a hello back, but kept his eyes on the floor, as if he were deep in thought. What could he possibly be thinking about? Did he regret professing his feelings to her? Did he not want her around? It sure seemed like it.

As she took a step closer to him, he moved slightly away, and he sighed. Taking a long drag from his cigarette and then flicking it, he asked, "What do you want, Claire?"

Well, she wanted many things. But at the moment she would settle for knowing what was up with him all of a sudden. His behaviour was quite uncharacteristic of him, especially towards her.

A harsh wind swept through all of a sudden, and Claire hugged herself tighter and looked down at Peter. It didn't seem to matter to him that it was close to 30 degrees. He seemed unmoved by it, in his khaki pants and black sweater. The only thing that clued her in to that he was cold was his hands that were shaking slightly.

"What's wrong?" Her tone was breathy and soft. It was perfect for her inquiry, she didn't want to sound like Adam, and have him push her away and bite back too. His eyes flickered up to her for a second, and he inhaled deeply.

Still, he wouldn't say anything. And Claire wasn't sure what to make of the way he was looking at her. What did it mean? Was she being a nuisance?

Suddenly, he looked away and exhaled, "If Adam sent you to spy on me, you can go. You don't _have_ to watch me. It doesn't matter if you leave, these things can be difficult to sit through and watch. _I_ could even die of boredom."

The thought of leaving hadn't ever crossed Claire's mind, and the shoot being boring? Even less. She was actually quite intrigued with the whole process, especially since it involved Peter. All the intricacies she hadn't known about it before suddenly brought on a new desire to her; to want to see how it was done and watch Peter pose.

Claire smirked at him playfully, "Do you want me to go?"

Peter stood up, dropped his cigarette, and stepped on it. All the while not looking at her, and keeping his distance, "It really doesn't matter to me."

A deep dagger went inside her stomach, filling it with hurt, and Claire frowned momentarily. He was trying to push her away and it wasn't supposed to be like that. She was supposed to be the one he confided in and smiled at. She was his one and only, not just some random person like everyone else that he could throw aside with indifference.

He noted the hurt that spread through her and sighed, moving towards her, wrapping his arms awkwardly around her and kissing her forehead, "God, I'm sorry, Claire. I didn't mean that. I swear I want you here, ok?"

She nodded numbly, but still couldn't shake away the pain. Claire hated to admit it to herself, but she couldn't help but notice that his behaviour got progressively worse as time passed. It wouldn't be bad all the time, sometimes he'd be sweeter than he had ever been before, but other times it was as if he completely despised her.

Slow kisses were planted on her head, and she could feel his cool breath ruffling her hair, "I would never hurt you again, you know that, right?"

When he said it again, she knew what he meant. He still blamed himself for what happened that day in Brooklyn, many years ago. Still, she nodded, and closed her eyes, trying to fight the pain that he'd caused away.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just in each others arms, not caring if anyone turned to see or said something. They were really beyond caring at that point. When Claire heard the clacking of a clipboard against something hard and erratic breathing, she knew the assistant girl, or whoever it was, was going to fetch Peter.

Peter sighed and loosed his grip on her, sensing the same problem, but spoke before the girl had a chance to, "Are they ready for me?"

Claire turned to see her nod, but not saying anything, she was clearly intimidated by his presence and was trying not to show it. The only hint of it was her reddened cheeks, which made Claire growl internally, and she put her hand around Peter's wrist, taking him by complete surprise. He turned down to look at Claire, and gave her one of his half crooked smiles.

After the girl left, he chuckled shakily, and whispered into her ear, "You have no competition."

Butterflies soared through her, and she felt herself smile back at him, liking the assurance he gave her. And with a kiss on her cheek, he walked towards the set where they were all eagerly awaiting him. Claire turned to watch as they placed him, and did last minute touches on his clothes.

A girl handed him a blazer, and it was as if he knew instinctively what to do with it. The photographer started snapping pictures, and he flung it over his shoulder, giving his iconic, stoic expression to the camera, and turning occasionally with such grace and a look of boredom.

All the while the photographer would say commands to him, but Peter wouldn't even respond, he'd just turn and sigh slightly, sometimes looking in Claire's direction, but not smiling. And though Peter wasn't listening to the photographer, he was still impressed.

But who wouldn't be impressed? Peter was a complete natural in front of the camera. Claire didn't know what the hair stylist had been talking about before, he didn't look shy at all. He looked in control, confident, bored...beautiful.

He did different positions, occasionally laughing, and then they brought a girl in. She was in similarly expensive attire and, of course, gorgeous, like any model ought to be. She slid her hands over Peter's chest and looked like she was inhaling him, and he tilted his head slightly into the crook of her neck as if he were a vampire ready to strike. But he only smirked, as if they shared a secret, one away from the world.

Claire clenched her fists and breathed deeply. The thought of any girl putting her hands on him drove her into insanity, and to have to witness that smile of craving on the girl's face made her want to run over and pull her off of him. Yes, it was completely irrational, but _he_ was hers, and she was merely protecting her porcelain possession. The girl obviously didn't know how delicate Peter was, he was her rose, with soft fragile petals that could fall off at any moment if the flower wasn't taken care of properly.

It seemed for a while like the torture wouldn't end, as if the photographer was intent on making her miserable with the proximity of the both of them. Was it really necessary for her to be touching him? Why couldn't there be a radius around Peter, which everyone wasn't allowed to cross but her? Only she could protect her china doll properly.

After another twenty minutes, the intense, terrible torture was finally over, and Peter made his way over to her slowly, putting his arm over her shoulder with a wink. It was too risky for him to try anything more intimate in public, since she'd learned paparazzi were always around., even when she thought they were safe, they were still there, it was sort of ridiculous.

Peter walked them towards his dressing room, where he was quick to change back into his own clothes, which weren't far off from what he had been wearing earlier. He pretty much still looked the same, just with a white Louis Vuitton scarf.

Before, watching him change would have been awkward, but he didn't seem to care who saw him change at all. He had explained that privacy wasn't a word he really knew in the modeling business. But she still couldn't help herself from watching his every move and body part. He was never that naked with her at his apartment-_behind closed doors,_ so of course she was going to take full advantage of it.

He noticed, and turned up to her slightly to mumble, "-I have to go somewhere. You can meet me at my apartment if you want to though, ok?" He finished putting his shoe on, and stood up to go kiss her forehead, "I shouldn't take long."

"But where are you going?" She asked worriedly.

The unsteadiness in his eyes, and sighing, told her it wasn't a good idea to be grilling him for details, but she was still curious. He _had_ to tell her something, "I just have to go do some-errands."

She frowned, and took a step towards him as he moved away, why did she feel like it was bad? "Can I go with you?" It had sounded childish, she knew, but she was desperate for his attention again.

Peter shook his head, and put a hand through his hair, "You'll get bored-I'll just meet you at my apartment, ok?"

Claire nodded her head as they walked out of his dressing room and over towards the street, where the driver that would take them back to where his apartment was. Peter turned to look at her and inhaled, "Take the car, I'll catch a cab." He exhaled, and kissed her chastely on her cheek before getting into a cab that had pulled up, "Bye."

And he was gone. Claire stood on the payment, watching as he told the driver where to go. All the time wondering what exactly he meant by errands, or if he was lying and going with Elle instead. Everything was possible with him now, he was probably capable of lying to her too. The thought made her frown, and she swallowed, trying not to let her mouth tug down at the sides. She wasn't going to cry, not out on the street for everyone to watch her.

"It happens sometimes," Adam's voice surprised her, and Claire jumped, turning around to face him.

He was standing with a slight smile on his face, and hands dug deep into his pockets. His expression was light, but Claire could see slight sadness behind it, and a look of sympathy for her as well. Like he knew what was happening, "What do you mean, 'it happens sometimes?'"

Adam sighed and nodded his head towards the driver to open the car door for them, "Would you like to go have dinner?"

Would Andy be ok with it? No, she thought, scratch that. Would _Peter _be ok with her going to dinner with Adam? What type of invite was it anyway, nothing romantic of course. Yet, the thought of having dinner with another guy that wasn't Peter sounded so-wrong.

Somehow, he seemed to sense that and chuckled, "Claire, I'm simply asking because I heard your stomach grumble, and we should probably talk about Peter. I think we'd have some interesting things to share."

She nodded and got into the car, "How long have you been Peter's agent?" Claire asked, once they were both inside the car.

The driver walked around to the other side, and swiftly got into the front of the car, already seeming to know where they were headed. Claire turned back to Adam to await his answer.

"I think it was about a year after your unfortunate fake death," He said rather lightly. He actually sounded amused by her 'death' more than anything. But something else made her frown for a moment.

She turned back up to him, "How much did Peter tell you about me? And _why_?"

The sprinkling of rain had reappeared and soft droplets made their way onto the glass, catching Claire's attention. There was something so familiar about the rain, so warming about it, even if the weather was foul. It made her seem more at home than the sun and brightness of Texas.

"Isn't it obvious, Claire? The boy is in love with you. Rather strange I must say, but back in my day it was completely normal to marry within your family, therefore I don't think it's strange."

It might have been the coldness of the leather couches combined with the unnecessary

AC or what Adam had said, but Claire froze completely, replaying his words in her head for a second, "In love? Are you-sure?"

Adam looked down at his cell phone and started texting, "Oh, yes. Of course, he'd never admit it himself, but he is, without a doubt, completely in love with you. He does everything for you, you know."

Claire scoffed and looked out the window, "Sure he does."

At her reply, Adam set down his phone and turned to her, "Tell me how both of you met."

That had been a pure adrenaline rush. His long bangs, soft, happy smile, and his eyes, God, his eyes had been full of joy and emotion then. He'd had so much feeling floating throughout him then, it almost made her wish she had that Peter instead.

"At my high school, the night of our homecoming game," She started taking a big sigh picturing it, "I was walking down the hall of my school. I wasn't really paying attention where I was going, and he was looking at some glass case-Then I accidentally ran into him and dropped my bag. He bent down to pick it up and went to hand it to me. He had this look- I don't know...it was like meeting your soul mate, I guess. But everything else about that night is blurry."

He scoffed, "How can you remember so much? The Haitian took my memory away, I never regained it." Adam seemed bitter by it, it wasn't something he had shown to her before.

"Well my ability allows me to heal, so I guess my head healed my memories?"

Something of what she said made him frown, "Peter didn't tell you, did he? Claire, I have the same powers that you have. I guess by now it's immortality though. Anyway, the Haitian took my memories away, at least all of them of the last forty years. I'm not quite sure why, but I thank him actually."

"Why? I felt...lonely not knowing anything about myself." She wrapped her arms around herself, the air kept sending chills throughout her.

Adam moved in his seat and sighed, "I wasn't a good man, Claire. I was full of hatred and revenge. See, a man once stole the woman I loved away from me. After that, I was quite passionate about getting my revenge and ruining his life. I decided to wait and find him to kill his family and friends around him. I would have, but the Haitian did me the favor of removing any of those thoughts out. I've only heard stories now."

Claire frowned, "I'm confused-"

"As you should be. My life has been an intricate web of deceit and anger for the past three hundred years. The man was from this time, this future of yours, who traveled back in time to steal my love. His name was Hiro Nakamura. His ability is time travel, but I'm sure you know that. Well, I guess the point of it all is that, love can make you do foolish things."

The car stopped at the light, and Claire sighed, "What are you trying to say?"

For a three-hundred-year old man, Claire had to admit he was very attractive. But there was one thing, that if you paid enough attention to, could give him away. It was his eyes, they were centuries old with what they'd seen, and Claire could see it. She had a thing about eyes, she had always been able to read a person quite well by them. And in Adam's, she saw tiredness, a lonely feeling, sadness...but that wasn't all. He had a secret.

As to what that secret was, she wasn't sure, but Claire supposed that after living a long time, a person was bound to have secrets. So she shook it off, and breathed in again, awaiting his response.

"What I mean to say, is that Peter thinks he's doing the right thing. He's always thought not having his powers was the best way to protect you, out of love. But it's not the truth, I think it would be wise for him to get them back, Claire, and leave the world he knows behind. You need to convince him that this isn't the best for him. Modeling doesn't make him happy, but you know what does, you just need to help him realize that again."

She shook her head, swallowing the lump, "I don't know what he wants anymore. He's so different, you didn't know him before I died, but he was the nicest guy in the world." Her voice shook a little, trying not to let her eyes heat up with tears, "He was amazing then."

"I've known him for longer than you think, more than he knows too. His mother and I-we formed the Company. I don't remember forming it of course, I've just heard stories. But yes, you're right, he was quite different. That person hasn't gone away though. He's still inside of him, Claire, you just have to dig really deep. You're the only person who can bring him out again."

Dig deep? There was no deep with Peter. There was nothing there, he was bare-hollow, empty of anything that wasn't drugs, or what little affection he thought he had for her.

"Won't that mean you'd be losing him though? As a client? Aren't you his agent?"

Adam laughed loudly, "Oh, yes, and not just any model, Claire. Peter is the one in the most demand. He makes ten times what Giselle Bundchen makes. But, quite honestly, I'm a bit tired of taking care of him, it's been the most exhausting three years of my life and, as you know, I've had quite a long one."

The light had turned green again, and the car began to accelerate, "Has he been that hard to take care of?"

"Hard is an understatement. Do you remember the day after Halloween, when he went to London to shoot the new campaign for Burberry? Do you know why he didn't come back for weeks after that? He was unconscious in a hospital bed after ingesting too many things. Of course, I didn't call Nathan or Angela, he absolutely refuses for them to be involved in his life."

Claire blinked, really trying not to cry this time. Had he really become that much of a hermit from the family he had once loved as much as he said he loved her? It saddened her to think about it.

...

Eating hadn't been that appetizing to Claire after the conversation they'd had in the car and, instead, she'd cut it short to go straight to Peter's apartment, hoping to find him already there. But of course, she'd beat him instead.

With nothing to do, Claire went to his 'CD room' as she had christened it, and looked through them. He had everything from Bright Eyes to Deftones. A blank CD caught her attention though, and all it said was _Plumb- Blush_. She opened the crystal case and held the CD in one hand, examining it. There was nothing special about it, just a simple burnt CD, like any other.

Claire walked over to his CD Player above the fire place, and dropped it in, watching the it go round and round. Waiting to hear it start, and it did.

__

When you look at me I start to blush,  
And all that I can say is you and us.  
Oh, baby I'm so afraid to be in love  
With you,  
With you...

It was rather girlie, not something she thought he'd like to listen to. But something about the wording and the music made sense to her. She felt it, what the song was saying was the only way she could explain how she felt about him. She was afraid to be in love with him, it meant so many things would be out of their control.

__

I wanna be in love with only you,  
I wanna watch the sky downgrade and blue,  
I wanna know the kiss that's always new,  
I wanna be in love with only you,  
Just you

But at the same time, being in love with him was the only thing she wanted. It was the only thing that sounded right. Being in love with Andy would never compare to Peter.

Peter was just it.

After the song was over she got into bed, feeling slightly better. Maybe Adam had been right, she could make him change and bring back that glint in his eyes he used to get, when everything had been right. As her eyes started to close there was a faint noise at the door. It was Peter.

She looked over to the clock which read 12:30 AM, and sighed. He closed the door behind him, and she heard his light footsteps walking towards his bedroom, and to her. It made her flutter, but she turned on her side so that he'd think she was asleep.

He opened the door carefully and closed it behind him, taking his shoes off on his way to the bed, and slipping in behind her. His temperature was cool, but his hand on her waist brought comfort to her. Very slowly and delicately, he kissed her back and she felt him sigh behind her.

Claire couldn't take it anymore, she turned around to face him. At first he looked surprised, but he recovered quickly and kissed her lips, "Hey."

The butterflies multiplied as they always did inside of her, it was so easy to get distracted by him. But a part of her still remembered there were other important things they needed to talk about, other than the fact that he was disgustingly beautiful.

"Peter, we're going to go see Mohinder."

Incomprehension filled his angel like features, "Why?"

Telling him was going to be the difficult part, she knew it. So she swallowed and shut her eyes tightly so that she wouldn't be distracted by his beautifulness, "He's going to run some tests on you."

He chuckled and kissed her neck, "No, he's not."

It was extremely difficult for her to be coherent when he was constantly kissing her, "Yes, Peter. We're going, ok?"

"Why?" He sounded more like a 5-year old than a 29-year old.

"Because you're sick, and I don't want you like this anymore. I want my old Peter back," She sobbed, letting a tear out.

He kissed it off and wrapped himself around her, kissing her cheek tenderly and bringing his lips towards her ear to whisper, "I can't be that person anymore. I'm sorry, he's not coming back."

Claire sobbed again and shook her head against him, "Yes, he is, I know he is! Please, do this for me?"

Peter sighed against her, "Only if you do something for me, a couple of things, actually."

"What is it?"

His eyes scanned hers, and he opened his mouth slightly, letting out his breath onto her.

He looked scared to ask, as if she'd reject him, "I want to take you to Paris in two weeks.

I know you won't have school, and we'll be back in time for Christmas-"

"I'm supposed to spend Christmas with Andy and his family, Peter," she told him, regretfully.

It didn't surprise him, he just nodded, "I know. That's the other part. I know I said I wouldn't confuse you, Claire, but I can't not do it. I want you for myself, and only me...I need you to decide who you want."

He looked torn and afraid of what she'd say. But he, more than anyone else, should have known by now that the only person she could ever be complete with was him, he was the only one that could make her feel like nothing was missing.

Claire smiled and took his lips in hers, "Can't you see, silly? I already chose you."

* * *

Thanks to Ellie for being such an awesome Beta!! :D


	21. Part IXX

**Cesia Illuser**: I'm glad she chose him too Beth. :D

**elenwyn**: LOL, yes it was long enough. I liked it very much. Thank you for beta-ing it. I hope the Andy part does it for you ;)

**faithfulwriter**: Oh, you have a suspicion on Adam's? Hmm..I wonder if it's what you think it is :D ;) hopefully you'll find out soon.

**everybodysmile**: Thanks for reviewing Kat! Let's see if they take it a step further here lol.

Thanks again Ellie for Beta-ing it! :D

* * *

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

**Part IXX**

"Wait...I don't get it, what do you mean?" Asked Andy for what seemed to be the twentieth time. It didn't matter which way she said it, he still didn't understand what she meant by it was _over_.

Claire sighed and bit her lip; what she was doing was much more difficult than she had imagined. Andy hadn't seen it coming at all, they had been quite perfect in fact. So for her to call him two weeks before Christmas to announce that she was ending their three and a half year relationship-well, it was rather shocking to say the least.

She ran a hand over her brown hair and looked at a strand of it for a second, before answering Andy, "Andy-look. I'm really sorry I'm doing this over the phone. You deserve better than this, you're the perfect guy. Any girl would want to spend eternity with you."

It was true, he was the perfect gentleman.

"Then why are you breaking up with me?" The tone of his voice was low and trembling.

In all the years that she had known him, she'd never heard so much sadness in him, which made what she was doing so much harder. Her intention had never been to hurt Andy, not when he didn't deserve it but, at the same time, there was someone else waiting for her who was the right one.

"I just can't give myself to you like before, Andy," She stopped herself to clench her eyes shut and breathe in, it wasn't just hard for him, it was hard for her too, to lose someone so utterly perfect, "I'm sorry. There's just someone else."

The phone was silent for a moment, in which Claire thought he had hung up, but he was only gathering his thoughts, "Who is it?"

Looking at the strand of brown hair between her fingers, something inside her frowned, "Don't do this please, Andy, it's hard enough. I love you a lot. But to be with you when there's someone else, wouldn't be fair to you or me."

Andy breathed into the phone, "I don't believe you, Claire. I don't believe that this is what you want, is this what will truly make you happy?"

"Yes, Andy, this is what I want. I still love you, but this is different, it's something I can't control. I can't explain it, I'm sorry."

She held in her breath and put her head back, clenching her eyes tight shut. Crying over Andy wasn't going to do her any good. It would only hurt Peter to see her cry over Andy, and he needed her, not Andy. He could manage by himself, he had before her, and there was no reason he wouldn't be able to now.

Peter was a different case, he desperately needed her, depended on her, and she didn't want to leave him alone again. She didn't want to see what would happen if she disappeared for a second time from his life, she wasn't really sure he'd be able to survive it.

"Claire, is he making you do this? Is he forcing you?"

She let the tears out, "No. I want this! I'm sorry, but _I_ want this. I wish there was another way-"

"There is another way! Don't do this. There was nothing wrong with what we had going on, it was perfect. Why are you choosing someone who didn't look for you? He can't love you more than I can, Claire."

Everything he said made sense, even the part of loving her more than Peter did. She knew Peter didn't love her that much, and that she'd never have a relationship like she did with Andy, yet, she still wanted him more. She shook her head to steady her voice and inhaled, "Andy. This is what I want, I'm sorry."

The phone dropped next to her on her bed, and she let tiny sobs out. She had just single handedly destroyed the one constant relationship she'd had in the last few years, and she'd never get it back. Stability was gone with Andy, and she was afraid that her life would soon turn into the unpredictability it had been before she had lost her memory.

Claire took a deep breath and sat up, refusing to let herself shed any more tears over him.

Besides, she had something much more important to do than sit in her dorm and cry.

...

Still too nervous to open her eyes and see the finished product, Claire kept her eyes clenched shut. Her heartbeat was fast and she bit her lip. She had bitten it so many times over the last two hours that, had she been normal, they probably would have needed stitches. But she just couldn't help it, she was extremely nervous.

The fact that she'd actually convinced herself to do it had taken guts, and she couldn't believe it was being done. She wasn't much for change, if it had been up to her, she would have just stayed the way she was. But it wasn't about her, it was about Peter, and she knew it would make him happy.

"Oh, Claire! It's the old you again." Heidi, being the only girl Claire knew, had gone along with her to help with her life altering change. Claire still refused to open her eyes, she was too nervous to see what the outcome was.

"All done," Said a male voice, as he swiveled her chair around, "You can open your eyes now."

She shook her head, and clasped her hands over her face so she wouldn't see. For years she'd had brown hair, and having blonde hair again made her wary. Would she even look good with blonde hair?

"Honestly, Claire, you look great! Open your eyes!" Insisted Heidi at her side.

Claire swallowed and slowly dropped her hands, holding her breath as she opened her eyes to look at the new her. She did look like her old self, the Claire that Peter often spoke about. She looked a bit younger too, sixteen again, but that was something she'd learned would never change.

It wasn't that bad, not at all actually. Her hair was now the same length as it had been that night at Kirby Plaza, the only difference was that it wasn't layered. It was a little lighter, with natural highlights, and it had been cut so that it was slightly longer from the front. It was surprisingly stylish.

A smile slipped onto her lips, the fear she'd had was slowly leaving her. She could only imagine the look on Peter's face when he saw her. Would he like it? He better. After all, it was all for him.

...

It was simple. Actually, no, it was silly, but she felt so free and lighthearted that she thought it was perfect under the circumstances. She had put on a simple, white, sleeveless dress that hugged her chest and waist, but flowed down to the middle of her thigh. Claire knew that what she had on wasn't for the weather outside, but if her plan worked out the way she wanted, they wouldn't be leaving his apartment for a while.

She had even made them Chicken Alfredo with a salad and garlic bread; things just had to go right. It would be their first night as a real couple, and she simply wanted to hit things off with a great night.

Since they were going to Paris the next day, she wanted to start things off right. They needed some romance, and Claire had full supplies of lingerie from Victoria's Secret that would help her. She was nervous, never having even slept with Andy those 3 1/2 years, only on _his _insistence of course. But Claire was sure that tonight she'd get what she wanted from Peter, finally. She didn't understand why he always denied her that anyway, he was always so seductive, but misleading.

When Claire heard a creaking noise at the door, she rushed to turn all the lights off, and grabbed the remote to the CD player. She had selected, _ironically_, the perfect song to go with their intimate dinner, too.

From behind the door, she watched as Peter walked into her trap, and his eyes scanned the darkened room. He shut it behind him, smirking a bit. Claire registered that he looked exhausted as always, even a little thinner but, for tonight, she'd decided to push that side of Peter away. Tonight, she would bring out her old Peter, and he would realize that it would all be normal again, very soon.

As quietly as she could, Claire walked up behind him and wrapped her hands around his eyes, with her mouth close to his ear, "Welcome home." He chuckled against her and tried to turn around, but Claire held him, "Oh, no, you must keep your eyes closed. Sit down," she instructed as she sat him on his couch, all the while making sure his eyes were closed.

"What's this about, Claire?" He asked, slightly impatient.

She shushed him and pressed play. When the sweet lyrics from _Blonde on Blonde _by_ Nada Surf_ started playing, Claire made her way onto his lap, "I broke up with Andy."

__

I've got blonde on blonde  
On my portable stereo  
It's a lullaby  
From a giant golden radio

He still had his eyes closed, but he was smiling from ear to ear, "You did?"

Slowly, she planted a kiss on his lips, "Yes, and I'm all yours now. Open your eyes, Peter."

His eyes started to flutter open with a frown on his face and he looked at her for a second. Then his eyes grew, and his hands made their way to her waist, "You're blonde."

His lips met hers and crushed them, holding her face with great force then pulling apart again, "You're blonde. You're gorgeous, Claire." His voice was breathy and it made Claire's stomach flutter.

She bit her lip, "But you're beautiful."

At that, Peter frowned and blinked a couple of times, thinking maybe he'd heard wrong, "Me?"

Claire swallowed and nodded her head again, "You're too beautiful, God was literally showing off when he made you, Peter."

Peter scoffed and tenderly pushed Claire onto the couch to stand up, "You're being ridiculous, Claire. Is that a line out of _Twilight_?"

His comment would have normally offended her, but she was in such a light and airy mood that it bounced off and she merely stood up to kiss him again. He didn't object, but instead wrapped his arms around her, and cupped her head in his hand as she continued to kiss him. She slid her hands around his neck and pushed him against the wall with a small thud, remembering that he wasn't as resilient as she was.

When her hands traveled to his hair and massaged their way through his luscious locks. He groaned into her mouth, which sent a familiar euphoric feeling through her, filling her up completely. Claire pulled away and looked into his pale, yet flushed face, "That's not a line out of _Twilight_, it's just the complete truth, Peter. You're indefinitely beautiful."

Peter chuckled and shook his head, seemingly amused by her thoughts on his looks.

Claire knew he didn't think that of himself, but he was the epitome of perfection in her eyes. Even now, when there were dark bags under his eyes, and he was pale, and constantly loosing weight, he was still beautiful like no other.

She let one of her legs ride up on him, and closed her eyes as his kisses had started moving down. But the smell of the food coming from the kitchen made her back off of him, "I almost forgot! I made dinner." She grabbed his hand and led them to the table that she'd prepared for her night of seduction.

Something pulled her, and Claire turned back to see Peter rigid, "What's wrong?"

He was frowning and seeming to be thinking at the same time. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but he didn't look all that happy anymore, more like something had just frightened him, "I'm not all that hungry right now." He let out vaguely, looking around the apartment at nothing in particular.

There was something inside her that wanted to fire up and get upset. After all, she'd spent most of the afternoon cooking and doing everything for him, but she was convinced not to get mad. This night was about reconnecting with her inner Peter, and for that, she knew she had to be patient.

Claire sighed and pulled him towards her, laying her fingers on his chest, "Peter, you really should eat. You're getting _so _thin. Just eat a little, ok?"

He let out a loud sigh and nodded. Obviously he wasn't thrilled with the idea, but at least they where getting at a compromise, which was a step forward. Now more than ever Claire knew she'd be able to get her way tonight, it just had to happen.

Very carefully, she sat him down and took the cover off the food so that the heat of the food rose up to their noses. Peter's wrinkled a bit, but he didn't seem completely disgusted by it, something else that was good. Without asking, Claire sat on his lap, and he instinctively wrapped his arm round her waist, bringing her close against him-that made him smile sheepishly a little bit.

Her hands went towards the plate of pasta, and the other picked up the fork and twirled the pasta around it. She rose it towards Peter's mouth and he raised an eyebrow up with an amused smile, "Are you going to feed me?"

She giggled and nodded her head as she deposited the pasta into his open mouth without warning. It was cute to see his reaction, with the food suddenly in his mouth and chewing on it. He laughed too as he swallowed it, but tried to stop and frown instead, "That wasn't cool."

His smile gave him away though, and Claire plopped more into his mouth, making them both laugh as he struggled to chew and swallow while laughing. But he started choking and Claire immediately hit his back, handing him a glass of soda she'd poured into a wine glass. She'd thought about giving him alcohol, but for the rest of the events she had planned that evening, she wanted him completely sober.

When he had drank all of the soda, he set the glass back down and wrinkled his nose, "I don't like carbonated soda."

Claire frowned, and twirled more pasta around the fork, plopping into his mouth again, "So, you like flat soda?"

Peter's mouth was full, so all he did was nod, and then swallowed his food, giving her a tiny smirk, "Flat soda just tastes better."

With a shake of disapproval, Claire picked up more pasta and deposited it into his mouth. He frowned, and swallowed, "You're really serious about feeding me, aren't you?"

"Of course! Look at you, you're such a cliché model right now. That whole heroin chic thing went out in the 90's, Peter. You need to tone up and get some sun." She said eagerly, but made sure to point at his hair, "You're not allowed to mess with the hair though."

For a second he frowned, and Claire was scared she'd upset him with the 'heroin chic' comment, but the next he smiled, and she felt his hands glide lower on her waist, "Since when did you become an expert on what's fashionable?"

"Since I started hanging out with you. God, can you believe that? Who would have thought four years ago that you, _Peter Petrelli_, would be a supermodel-_My_ supermodel boyfriend," She added. But as soon as she realized what she'd said, Claire swallowed and felt her throat go dry.

Was saying he was her boyfriend too forward? They had barely entered into a new territory in whatever they had going on, and she didn't want to ruin what they had by saying the wrong thing. Still, she was pretty sure that it was ok, after all, what she felt for him, and what she hoped he felt for her, couldn't be defined by the mere words of 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'.

Contrary to what she thought his reaction would be, he smiled, and she could see a hint of a blush grow on his pale cheeks, "Boyfriend?"

Without realizing it, her heart started beating fast, and she felt herself starting to get lightheaded with hearing him say it. Did he like the idea? Or was he simply mocking her?

Either way, to hear him say it sounded even more glorious that she could have imagined. Claire swallowed and tried to speak with out her voice shaking, "Does it bother you?"

He raised one eyebrow, letting his smile fade away, it was making her nervous. She'd liked his earlier reaction better than the one he wore now, it seemed as if he were changing his mind. The thought of him not wanting anything like that began to scare her, and she carefully dropped the fork onto the plate, "I get it. It's too soon-"

She was cut off by him putting a finger to her lips, "I like how it sounds. But I feel like it's a childish way to describe what you are to me, Claire. I can't put it into words. I can't imagine even living without you anymore."

Her heart melted a little, and she felt her head get lighter with joy that he wanted her in that possessive way. It made her feel better that she wasn't crazy feeling that way about him, either. She couldn't imagine a life without him in it anymore, and thought she was crazy for not being able to remember him during all those years she'd spent in Texas as a brunette.

A thought came to her and she opened her mouth, but wasn't exactly sure how to ask. It didn't matter all that much, but it certainly had her curious, "Why does my hair color matter so much to you?"

Peter frowned and licked his lips, "I'm not sure. But I guess it's the way that you feel about my bangs, while I have them, you feel as if I'm yours, right? But if I were to cut them, it would be like losing the me that belongs to you? It's the way I felt about your hair. As a blonde I feel like, regardless of what we are, you're mine. But when I saw you as a brunette with Andy- You were his, and not mine anymore. I guess you being a blonde just represents my Claire. The one that didn't forget me and wants me."

As Claire lay her head against his shoulder, she knew it wasn't the right night to seduce him. All she truly wanted was to lay in his arms and reassure him that she was his and he hers forevermore.

...

It truly amazed her how, from one day to another, his behavior could change so much.

The night before had been filled with glimpses and feelings of her old Peter, and she felt as if she'd truly gotten through to him. She'd fed him a little more and they'd gone to sleep early with his arms wrapped around her, as if afraid of losing her once more. It had been perfect, even if she hadn't seduced him like she'd originally planned.

But the next morning, when she had woken up to find that she was alone and heard the fan from the bathroom, she'd let out a scowl. Because she knew exactly what to expect when he got out. An empty Peter with hollow, sleepy eyes, and body language that screamed lethargic.

When he opened the door, it was just that. He had taken a shower and changed into his regular clothes, since they were leaving to Paris that day. But his look was nonchalant and lost in space somewhere. It was like he was hardly aware of what he was really doing, as he lazily pulled his gray, Burberry sweater over his white, V-neck t-shirt.

Claire popped up from the bed and brushed past him, not greeting him at all. As she got inside the bathroom and closed the door, she was faintly aware that his head was slowly moving towards the bathroom door, but she had closed it and it was too late to see. Instead, she hopped into the shower and quickly bathed, all the time wondering what Peter was doing.

She couldn't take seeing him like that anymore. Their trip to Mohinder's would have to be soon. Claire wasn't sure if he'd last longer at the rate he was going at. Everyday it seemed like he looked sicker and was losing himself in a world he'd created, one he couldn't escape. A shiver went up her spine, remembering what Adam had said about him spending a week in the hospital in London. Why hadn't he ever told her that?

The answer to that was clear, he really didn't want to involve her in those things. There was a part of him that knew what he was doing was wrong, but the other part couldn't care less. That side of him didn't even seem to have any feelings for her, and she didn't like it. Even if she had to force him and drag him there herself, he'd go and see Mohinder.

She'd dyed her hair for him, and it was truly time he did his part.

When she was done, Claire got out and wrapped a towel around her, using another to clean the steam off the mirror. At first she was scared when she saw her blonde hair, it was still so foreign to her. But if it made her Peter happy, then she was all for it. The thought brought another little smile to her face, _her_ Peter.

It still felt so surreal that she was with him, whatever it meant. She had never thought it possible at the age of sixteen that she would one day be practically living with him. The whole uncle-niece thing had made it impossible, but she didn't care now, she'd read somewhere that incest was 'in', anyway.

Claire looked at the time when she walked downstairs, after she had already changed.

They still had a few hours before the flight was supposed to leave, so she wasn't panicking yet. Her eyes searched the room, looking for him, and found him outside on the balcony, sitting down with his legs slightly bent, smoking a cigarette. As she walked towards him, he looked up.

"Do you want some breakfast?" She asked, trying to maintain her voice with a light mood and a soft smile.

It didn't surprise her that he shook his head and sucked on his cigarette, sluggishly replying, "No. I had some coffee."

She inhaled, and felt her nose flare a little, but reminded herself to stay calm.

Somewhere, she'd read that yelling at addicts wasn't good, and _somewhere_ inside of him, she didn't want to scare her Peter away. But she still couldn't stop herself from retorting, "Wow, cigarettes and coffee, what a lovely, nutritional breakfast."

He just looked at her for a second then sighed, looking away onto the city instead, not bothering to answer back. She didn't know whether it was that he didn't care, or didn't have any energy to talk back, but she rolled her eyes and walked away. Soon, they'd go to Mohinder's, very soon.

...

"Well, it really doesn't matter to me if it pushes your new campaign back. Peter isn't available until the second of January." Adam was busy talking to someone from some

brand that Claire wasn't really sure of.

Even though she was staring straight ahead as they were being driven to the airport, her mind was solely on Peter, who had fallen asleep next to her with his D&G Aviator sunglasses on. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the peaceful look on his face that she loved waking up to. That was the part of the other him she didn't mind so much, when he was sleeping.

The car came to a sudden stop at the airport, and Peter woke up due to the abruptness of the stop. He yawned slowly and looked at Claire, smiling at her, "Are we here?"

She nodded and held his hand as they both got out of the car, but let go of it quickly, remembering how those pestering paparazzi were always watching him.

Claire looked over to Adam who was still arguing heatedly with someone on the phone and turned to Peter, "Why is he coming again? You don't have to work while we're in Paris, do you?"

Peter yawned again and put some bangs behind his ear, nodding, "It's just a small Chanel commercial. It'll only take a few hours. Besides, he's only really going to see his girlfriend."

With the constant worrying and looking after Peter, Claire really hadn't thought that Adam had the time for a girlfriend. Then again, as she looked at him, it was quite silly to think someone as attractive as him wouldn't have one. Now her only question was, who was his girlfriend?

"He has a girlfriend?" She asked, grabbing her purse as they walked inside the airport, an attendant pulling their luggage as they followed Adam towards the terminal.

Again Peter nodded, "Yeah. He's dating Maya Herrera. She's a mo-"

Claire gasped, "That's the girl they asked you if you were dating in the interview!"

Peter scoffed, shaking his head slightly, "It's kind of scary that you're reading interviews about me, Claire."

She blushed, feeling a little embarrassed. The truth was that she was probably just as obsessed with him as any of his fan girls, but she wasn't about to confess that, so she simply stayed quiet instead, not sure of how respond.

Once they boarded the airplane, Peter grabbed Claire's hand, making sure that they got the two seats that were next to each other, leaving Adam to sit next to some eighty-year old woman that flashed him a toothless smile. Claire internally giggled, but it went away when she noticed that Peter had quickly fallen asleep again.

With him asleep, the flight ahead of them seemed rather boring to her, so she took his I-pod that he always carried in his pocket and slipped it on, thinking about how their trip to Paris would go and falling asleep to the lyrics of Sia.


	22. Peter's Side: Earth

**faithfulwriter**: Aww thank you, I really appreciate your reviews!!

**elenwyn**: LOL he probably didn't like being stuck with the old lady, did he? considering he has Maya as a girlfriend hehe

**everybodysmile**: lol yes, you just have to wait and see. Everything has a purpose nods head

thanks to Ellie for beta-ing it!! :D

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Peter's Side: Earth

Waking up next to Claire, in Paris, was just indescribable. I watched her for a while as she slept silently, wishing I could just watch her like that for hours. When she was asleep it was like all the worries and stress that she carried was lifted. I felt better then, not as guilty for making her life miserable.

As happy as I was that she was blonde now, and that she had broken up with Andy, I still knew I didn't deserve her at all. How could I ever , when I was constantly doing things behind her back she'd never know about? Yet, I had to to give myself props, she really didn't suspect anything, I made sure to be discreet as possible. Especially now that she was my _girlfriend_.

That still sounded extremely weird to me, but I liked it, because she was mine. I didn't have to share her with anyone. And I couldn't care less about Nathan freaking out, which I guess was a bad thing, in a way. Still, it didn't really matter, it's not like having the same blood flowing through our veins would be enough to keep us apart.

I really could have stayed all day watching her, but I couldn't. She'd wake up soon, and I had to leave before she asked me where I was going. I needed to meet Elle before the photo shoot, and that was something I couldn't miss. I was already starting to feel anxious, and knew I wouldn't last the day if I didn't meet her.

With a sigh, I kissed Claire's beautiful lips and got up, changing as quickly as possible, trying not to make any noise so that she wouldn't wake up. When I was done, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, telling her I was going to the shoot. She wouldn't know, but I told her to meet me there with the black dress she'd brought.

For what I was doing, I knew I was an asshole, but I was still going to show her that I could be a perfect gentleman like Andy and take her out after the shoot. In fact, she didn't know, but I had our entire stay planned out, thanks to Adam, of course.

Tonight would be dinner with the city view right next to the Eiffel tower, I knew she'd get a kick out of that, and tomorrow I'd take her shopping, of course. I knew it was starting to grow on her, and I'd be a horrible 'boyfriend' not to take her shopping in Paris. Somewhere deep inside, it was every girl's wish to do just that.

Before I left, I made sure to grab my wallet and closed the door behind me quietly.

I turned around to see her staring at me: Elle. She had on a blue, low cut halter top with low rise, black slacks, and some patent leather, slingback, black shoes on. Most guys would have thought her to look sexy. But after being carried around from fashion designer to fashion designer, and learning about what was in and out, I couldn't help at feel a little more nauseated by her lack of respect for what was currently in style.

Despite my strong dislike for what she was wearing, I put it aside and smirked at her, "My favorite person."

There was a slight blush that rose to her cheeks, but she scoffed and it went away. I knew how I made her feel, and what my comments did to her, I didn't like it, I just wanted to stay in her good graces. I had other connections to get what I wanted, but with Elle, I could count on her.

Anytime of day, anywhere in the world-She was just there. I knew she had a crush on me, but knew not to expect anything of it. She just got satisfaction out of seeing me, and I got it out of what she gave me, our friendship- or whatever it was, had balance.

"Is your mistress unaware and asleep?" She asked, cocking her head to the side, smiling that crazy smile I'd grown to not be afraid of. It was all really just a facade of hers, she wasn't really that diluted.

I sighed and nodded, scratching my neck a little, feeling a bit more anxious. I hated small talk, she knew that. I just wanted my stuff and to be alone- we had a system. Why was she derailing from it? She looked at me weirdly and sighed. I didn't know what was up with her lately.

Normally, she was hyper, crazy, and always smiling. But the last couple of months, she'd gotten this weird look when she saw me sometimes, I didn't know what to think of it, not that I even really cared.

...

We made our way to her hotel room and I stood outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. The faster I had something in my system, the faster I'd be able to leave and feel better. I hated when she made me wait, it was one of her cruel mind games- to see how long I could last before she had me begging her.

I was normally very patient and good about it, but it was getting harder. A small hand made its way around my waist, and her head was on my back. What was with her? It felt like this cruel game of hers would never stop. For a second, I stood still and rigid, hoping she'd let go, but she didn't. I turned around and raised my eyebrows up at her, asking rather urgently, "So, where is it?"

For a fleeting moment, I thought I saw a frown on her face, but it was gone even before I had a chance to really register it. Then she held out her hand; it held the small plastic bag. I snatched it greedily, looking for any surface to do it, and felt her following me.

"Peter-maybe-maybe, this is getting too out of hand, don't you think?" Her voice was so foreign from anything I knew. This wasn't the Elle I knew, this was some emotionally filled one who was starting to annoy the shit out of me.

I sighed, and poured the contents onto the nightstand, next to the bed, "What are you talking about, Elle?"

She plopped down on a seat in front of me and put a hand through her hair, exhaling loudly, then pointed towards what I had put on the table, "This! It's not just recreational use anymore-You're really getting addicted."

I turned to look up at her, offering her a rolled up bill, and ignoring her rants, "Want some?"

The four years our friendship had been going on, I had never truly seen what her powers were. But that changed when she suddenly scowled and I saw her hands clench and glow with electric bolts, "I don't like opiates, I've told you that. And don't just ignore what I'm saying. This is getting serious, Peter. The next thing you know, you'll be mainlining!"

I snickered, what was the big deal about that anyway? I had tried it, wasn't my thing, that was the end of it.

Her hands dropped dramatically, and her eyes grew, "Have you done it?"

After I was finished, I rubbed my nose a couple times and felt my eyes getting glossy. Elle was still looking at me, waiting for an answer. What had gotten into her? Why did she suddenly care so much? I knew I was getting addicted, but I wasn't as scared shitless as she was. I had a routine, _I_ was in control.

So I sighed and closed my eyes a little, feeling a tiny rush, but opened them again and licked my lips, "I did, once. With Pete-Doherty, Kate's ex, you know him, right?"

Elle didn't say anything. She only looked at me with that same weird expression I'd noticed earlier. Her nose flared and she shook her head, "I'm scared."

_Scared_. Scared of what? I just laughed and rested my back against the bedpost, feeling slightly sleepy, "Of what?"

"Of what I've been an accomplice to-I helped you become this." Even though my eyes were closed, I could sense she was about to cry. She was Elle; that wasn't normal for her. I wouldn't know how to respond to it.

So I kept my eyes closed for a bit, not wanting to look at her and sighed, "If It's bothering you, I'll just go to someone else."

Silence filled the room, she didn't even move. I heard no noise coming from her and, after a minute, it started freaking me out. I opened my eyes but she wasn't there anymore. Even better, I told myself. I couldn't deal with her abnormal personality at the moment. I much rather preferred the crazed, psychotic, childish one.

I looked down at my phone. It was nine-thirty and I was supposed to be at the shoot by ten. It wasn't too far from where I was, and I could easily be there in fifteen minutes. So I decided to sit up and take a little more, then left, not really caring to look for Elle.

...

When I got to the shoot, Adam was already there. He wasn't really one to be late anywhere. And especially not when Maya was there, seeing as she was going to do the commercial with me for the new Chanel perfume.

He was busily seated next to her, giggling as if he were any other twenty-nine year old man in love, not some three-hundred and something-old Samurai fighter.

As I walked up, they were both really oblivious to the fact I was there, which I was happy about. I didn't think I looked my best, nor did I feel it, either. Actually, I wasn't feeling well at all. I felt nauseous, dizzy. That usually didn't happen.

I was only a few feet away from them; I could sense that at any moment they would turn to see me and be mortified and angry. I really didn't care, I just knew their babbling and annoyance would only hurt my dizzy head.

Adam turned his head slightly, but I turned the corner, heading towards the bathroom. I felt like all my insides were in knots and compiling against each other, working their way up, wanting to come out. It was insane how horrible it felt like air was leaving me, and my lungs couldn't function correctly.

Not even when I'd gotten alcohol poisoning after Halloween in London had I felt like this. This was something completely foreign and scary. I wanted desperately to curl up into a ball and make the nausea go away; no one should have to feel like this.

I made it to the toilet just in time for everything to come out, not even caring that I hadn't locked the door. For the longest time, I felt like everything inside of me was pouring out. I was glad, everything inside felt shitty. What had Elle given me? I'd never felt this bad before.

After a while, I heard footsteps come inside the bathroom where I was puking out my guts, and a hand go to my back. I wanted to see who it was, but I couldn't. The pain vibrating through me, and my need to stay with my head over the toilet was far greater than the curiosity to see who had joined me.

"Oh, Peter, my dear friend. What have you done this time?" Instantly I knew it was Adam, by his British accent. For some reason, it brought comfort instead of the annoyance I had thought it would have.

Feeling only slightly better, I flushed the toilet, and sat up against the bathroom wall, panting and closing my eyes. I wasn't ready to answer quite yet, because I didn't really know what I had done, except had the worst experience ever.

I mumbled a thank you when he dropped a bottle of water on my lap and drank from it, only wanting to take the acidic aftertaste of my stomach away. When I was done, I turned to look at his peaceful face, "I don't know what happened."

He shrugged and sighed loudly, "Get it together, Peter, ok? Hair and make-up is expecting you any minute, and Claire just got here."

I closed my eyes again and cursed internally. She wasn't supposed to get there until much later. This wasn't how I had planned our day at all. She wasn't supposed to catch me looking a wreck and throwing up my guts.

The truth was there again. I was an inconsiderate asshole who wasn't thinking about her first. All my thoughts should have been primarily on her, and not some stupid necessity that was fucking me up this badly. I couldn't go ten minutes without it running through my head. I couldn't even complete thoughts, because it would interrupt whatever it was I was thinking about and confuse me, lure me.

I slowly nodded to Adam and carefully got up. Any real movement, and I was sure the nausea would hit me again in full force.

But as we both stepped out of the bathroom, she was there. Coffee in one hand, a bag in the other, and such a look of sadness that it made me sick all over again. Could she tell? I was usually so careful. I smiled at her tentatively, trying to control the slight trembling through out me in an attempt to be convincing.

It didn't work, her breathing was shallow and whimpering and she quickly handed Adam the contents in her hand to take my face into them instead, "Are you ok?"


	23. Part XX

**faithfulwriter****:** I get what you mean. It's hard to sympathize with him, when he's so insensitive, right? Thank you!

**everybodysmile****:** Don't worry I promise things will stop being so confusing soon LOL. BTW I hope you like this draft better :D

**elenwyn****: **He makes me sad too :( You're right, Claire's not going to be happy. And yes, Elle is acting funny...I thought it was obvious why lol but I guess you guys will find out later? It's safe to say serious damage is starting...

**elzangel****: **I think I PM'd you back about that :D right? I'll try and update the pool soon LOL i do want to finish it :D

**pairegal21****:** LAUREN! lol i felt like doing that. nods yep, she did leave a perfect guy for him. Lets see what happens now...

**Gennibean: **It was angsty wasn't it? And yes, I do have some fluff in this chapter to compensate for the over angstiness of the last chapter LOL. Enjoy! :D

Thanks to Ellie for doing a wonderful job of beta-ing!  
**

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XX

__

I have to get to the shoot early this morning, but you can meet me there as soon as you wake up. Make sure you wear that little black dress I made you pack, you're going to need it today.

-Peter

Claire giggled and smiled at the simple elegant writing on the small piece of paper.

Sometimes having Peter as a model amused her, especially when he told her what to wear. She would deny it to his face a million times over, but she secretly found his new love for fashion sort of endearing.

Reading his little note made it all the much easier for Claire to jump out of bed with a smug smile plastered on her face. 'Little black dress', she'd certainly wear that for Peter, she'd positively do anything for him. She sighed and decided to take a shower.

Only, she really couldn't concentrate what she was doing, not with his face in her head.

Those bangs that drove her mad, the lips that were soft as satin, and his body that molded perfectly against hers. She wondered momentarily if that day in the Petrelli mansion, when he said it was destiny, if he had meant it. Had he known that years later it would lead them to this irreversible love that she felt for him?

Claire laughed to herself nervously. Just the thought of him still sent butterflies through her in an abnormal way. But nothing about them was normal, it was only natural to still feel shy around such a god, perfection, a complete dream.

It made her happy that he'd gone to work early too and not somewhere else. He was such a hard worker with all his modeling. She was starting to see that it was exhausting, the scheduling of it, how they had to dress in extreme weather, not complain and just look perfect-though, it was hard for her to see how that would be difficult for Peter.

Jumping into the shower, she closed her eyes and pictured him. He was probably getting his make-up done and hair, and had probably completely forgotten about breakfast. That's another thing she had learned about him, in the short period of time that they had started sort of 'living together', he wasn't a huge breakfast person. Which she imagined was probably why he'd gotten so thin. He didn't look terrible, just a little sick and emo, although, there was really nothing to ever take his emo-ness away, no matter how many times he profusely denied that he was even associated with that word at all.

Yeah, breakfast was what he needed, she decided. And as soon as she was finished getting ready in her 'little black dress', she'd go and get him some, and some coffee. He _lived_ off of coffee.

...

It had taken her longer than she'd thought to find a coffee shop in Paris. Claire hadn't taken it into consideration that not speaking any French would be a problem. But after searching, she'd finally found a small cafe where one of he employees had taken pity on her and spoken in English.

Unfortunately, all they had were butter croissants, and Claire'd had to settle for that and a cup of coffee. Though, she figured that it was better than nothing and had left right away to make her way to the Chanel shoot. The venue was next to an elegant building with beautiful molding that took her breath away.

It shouldn't have surprised her though, from what she'd learned from Peter, Chanel was very elegant. Actually, she'd started learning a lot from Peter, he was very knowledgeable in the fashion world, and it had only taken a matter of time for that to rub off on her.

Before, she would have hated it and the very idea of caring so much about fashion. She'd been one of those girls that had thought it silly to care that much. But Peter had opened her eyes and she could see that it wasn't superficial, it wasn't for blonde bimbo's like those girls in her class.

Fashion, Peter had explained to her, was a form of art. And not just any art, but the most expressive and alluring kind Claire had never really taken time to see. It was entrancing now-just beautiful.

Everything from Mui Mui dresses to Dior sunglasses fascinated her now. It made her feel like the world was more alive than ever and it was another connection between her and Peter that was strong.

As she made her way onto the set, just a little more in love with him than before, her head up in the clouds, she spotted Adam right away, and made her way over. He was sitting next to someone who must have been his girlfriend, by the way he had his hand wrapped around her waist and was smiling suggestively to her. For some weird reason, watching them made Claire feel even more bubbly than before, and all she could feel was joy and romance.

She was in Paris, the idealistic love city, and she was there with Peter, and nothing could

go wrong.

Adam noticed her as she approached and smiled at her, "Good morning, Claire," he turned to Maya, "This is Peter's niece, Claire-Claire, this is my girlfriend, Maya Herrera."

Her butterflies died down at the mention of _'niece' _a little, but she still smiled at Maya,

"It's nice to meet you."

Maya returned the smile and greeting a little shyly. Adam couldn't take his eyes off her, and Maya seemed to blush, as if they had a secret. Adam sensed her curiosity and turned, grinning from ear to ear, "We just found out that Maya is pregnant."

"That's wonderful," She beamed, but couldn't help at thinking how bittersweet the situation was. Wouldn't he outlive his child? She pushed the thought aside, "Is Peter here?"

His smile fell for a few seconds, but he recovered, "Yes, he's-here. I'll go get him, ok?"

Claire nodded as she watched him kiss Maya's cheek and sprint off in a hurry. He obviously wanted to get back to Maya as soon as possible. It was the same way Claire felt about Peter, being away from him was like literally not having oxygen or something. She just needed to be next to him.

"Are you here taking care of him?" Asked Maya, trying to make conversation.

Taking care of him was partly the reason she was there, yes. But mostly she was there because she wouldn't have it any other way now. She was his, and wherever he went, she needed to go. Of course, Claire couldn't say that out loud to Maya, she wasn't sure she could trust her with the truth.

"I guess? He asked me to come, since I had winter vacation."

The air suddenly got thicker and Claire found herself shivering a bit as she took a seat next to Maya. The brunette nodded and smiled sadly at Claire; it was the same smile she'd seen many times on Heidi. She hated that smile.

"It's good, Peter needs company. He needs his family to be close to him and help him.

Adam can't always be there," She shrugged at Claire, then bit her lip, "The way he looked when he got here scares me. Sometimes, I think he's getting worse, you know?"

Claire's heart stopped, "How did he look?"

Maya inhaled deeply, Claire could see that the topic affected her as well. They were friends after all, "That look he gets when he's taken something. Like the Peter we know isn't there, but this sad stranger that takes his place instead. It's sad to see it, because he's a really good person and doesn't deserve what's happening to him."

The lower part of Claire's lips quivered, and she frowned. He'd lied to her again, he'd obviously gone somewhere else in the morning and not straight to the shoot. It saddened her that he felt the need to deceive her. Actually, it outraged her, because it was lack of respect.

She stood up and marched away without saying goodbye to Maya, walking towards the direction of a hall in which she'd seen Adam go. Claire was determined to find Peter and be mad. Things couldn't just keep going in a circle like they were, there had to be a change, some hope, anything from him.

But as she made her way into the hall, and he made his way in front of her, she stopped in her tracks. In all honesty, it was the worst she had ever seen him look, it was like the saddest, emptiest look that had taken over his face and his soul had been robbed.

He looked just as surprised to see her and swallowed. Claire immediately handed the contents in her hands to Adam, who had been walking with him, and rushed towards Peter, cupping his face in her hands, "Are you ok?"

All the anger she'd felt surging through her only moments before had evaporated, and instead the need to fix him filled her up. He needed her to be caring and loving, not mad and cold. He was already cold enough, he needed her heat.

Peter nodded his head slowly, and let himself fall into her arms with such need, that all Claire could do was hug his thin and shivering body. He felt scared against her, and it penetrated like an electric current from him to her, so that she felt just how bad the pain was.

She would have stayed in that position with him forever, but Adam's cough brought her back, and she jumped out of the hug, a little irritated by the lack of understanding that he had at the moment. He stretched his hands out and gave her the coffee and paper bag, to make his way back to Maya.

Claire glared after him, but then turned as she felt Peter leave her side. Her heart momentarily dropped, but regained its normal beating when she saw that he had only taken a seat on a bench, and wrapped his arms around himself protectively.

It wasn't cold, but she knew why he was doing it, it because he was scared, and she couldn't take away that fear. She could only try to help him through it.

With a tiny smile, Claire sat next to him and pushed the coffee towards him, "Drink up, you're going to need energy for your agonizingly difficult job ahead," she said with a little sarcasm, hoping to lighten up the mood.

She knew it had worked when the tiniest of smiles made it's way to his lips, and he took the coffee from her hand into his own, shaky one.

Slowly, he took a few small sips and looked at her, the smile growing just a tiny bit, "I don't deserve you."

Claire gasped dramatically, and put a hand on her chest animatedly, "Peter Petrelli-the super model not deserve me? Nonsense. I can't imagine how I'd pick out what to wear without you!"

His quiet laugh lifted her mood a little, and she handed him the bag, "Eat. Because you have _no_ idea what I had to go through to get you food."

As soon as she noticed him inhale and the tiny smile disappear, Claire shook her head and put her hand up, as if to tell him she didn't want to hear it. It was then that she got serious and let her own smile fade, "I'm serious, Peter, you better eat."

Ever so slowly, he sighed and reached into the bag to take out the croissant and took a tiny bite, wincing as if it hurt to bite and chew. Either way, Claire took it as a good sign, at least he was listening to her.

...

A few hours later, a croissant and coffee gone, Peter looked a million times better. And after he was through with make-up and wardrobe, it was as if he was his own self again.

He refused for her to leave his side though, and kept his arm wrapped around her waist securely, possessively, even.

Not that Claire complained, if anything it only made the butterflies multiply. He even refused to let go of her as he made it onto the set where the pictures for the new fragrance would be taken.

They sat for a while on the stone steps of the beautiful building behind them, and Claire let Peter nuzzle her neck affectionately, only blushing occasionally at the complete sweetness that had overtaken him. It was the Peter she loved and lived for.

In fact, they were so caught up in their own world of fondness, that neither noticed that they had started filming before them. They continued their charades, and Claire would giggled occasionally as Peter would tickle her, or whisper something cheesy to her. It was his own way of making up for what she'd had to see, but she was ok with it. Any attention from Peter, regardless of the reason, was ok with her.

They only separated when they heard someone cough, and jumped apart instantly, remembering that they were still in public. The probability of a paparazzi being around was highly likely, and the last thing they needed was for them to be caught candidly showing their closeness.

By the time Maya showed up on set, they had separated, but as Claire stood off to the side, all she could help thinking was that he was hers. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve him but, now more than ever, the though of choosing Andy over him was so alien that the thought actually amused her.

Sure, Andy was perfect in every way, but there were other perfect guys out there, and Claire didn't want that. She liked Peter's imperfections far too much.

...

They said their goodbye's to Adam and Maya as they got into the black car Peter had called for. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him, so she could lean against his body.

"Where are we going?" She asked, noticing that the driver wasn't going towards their hotel.

Peter kissed her hair and whispered softly, "To dinner."

After the slight incident in the morning, the rest of the day had gone almost smoothly, which was why Claire had a sudden boost of confidence, and bit her lip, "Let's get room service instead."

For the first time, Claire was truly scared that Peter might completely reject her- the thought nauseated her at first. But when she saw him bite his lower lip and smirk as he bent down to kiss her, all thoughts of that went away.

His lips were smooth against hers, and he parted only enough to whisper to her, "How about we just skip dinner?"

Claire momentarily felt light headed, and nodded her head as she pushed him against the seat with all her force and straddled his lap, "Please."

He laughed against her lips, and let his hands fall lazily on her hips, tightening his hold on them as their kisses increased and deepened.

Peter put his finger to Claire's lips and made sure to tell the driver their change of destination.

…

The way that Peter kissed Claire's shoulder was something out of a movie. She had never been kissed with so much delicacy and softness. His fingertips were slow in bringing down her dress, as his lips traveled back up to her neck to suck on it ever so lightly.

And while Peter's demeanor was slow and sweet, her heart only bounced inside of her more. Her hands frantically searched him in new ways, and nearly scratched his back.

He pushed her against their bed softly and climbed her, still tracing kisses on her neck and making his way to her lips with such affection, that Claire wasn't sure she'd even ever felt with Andy.

Feeling a little daring, Claire reached down to his pants and let her free hand roam outside, massaging him through them. The way he kissed her was with so much want. It was perfect then, or as perfect as things could ever get in their situation. But Claire wouldn't have had it any other way..

Peter closed in his mouth to her bare collarbone and kissed it tenderly, releasing the most beautiful moan she'd ever heard at the same time.

Hearing him, Claire couldn't help at bite her lip and outlined him through his pants, squeezing slightly. She wasn't sure what she was doing, after all, it was a brand new territory for her but, judging by his reaction, he was enjoying the feel of her fingers on his pants.

The pace of his kissing increased and got sloppier as she twisted and held him in her hands through the sheer material that separated her hand and him, all the while hearing his breathing become shallower.

Claire let her other hand fall to his pants and tug down but, as she did, she felt him tense up, his kisses stopping on her neck, and he pulled away.

"Claire, don't." His eyes met hers and roamed her face, as if trying to come up with how to word his thoughts. He was flushed, and his lips were swollen and pink, and all Claire wanted was to suck on them, bite them, and keep on making him moan like he had before. She wanted to hear the incredible noise that came out of him- that she caused him to make.

Hearing his voice break and those moans, filled her with her own inexplicable euphoria, and she wanted to feel it again and hear him.

She frowned and let her hands fall against the bed, "Why?"

Peter licked his lips, searching her face again and breathed in, "I'm not ready yet."

Claire wanted to scoff, maybe laugh too, no-both. She couldn't understand why _he_ wasn't ready. She knew for a fact that he wasn't a virgin, probably hadn't been one since his early teens. So the fact that he was telling her to stop because he wasn't ready definitely mystified her.

Noticing her dislike for his confession, he rolled off her and laid next to her on the bed on his back, breathing in deeply.

Still rather shocked, Claire propped herself up on her elbows and turned to look at his face, "Why?"

"For many different reasons," He mumbled, tracing the outline of her lips with his thumb and finger affectionately, offering her a slight smile.

Claire groaned and rolled her eyes, guessing why he'd stopped, "Is it because of the whole uncle-niece thing? Because if it's that, I think we're beyond-"

Peter chuckled and shook his head with his eyes closed, "No, it's not that. That's actually the last thought on my mind, can you believe it?"

She fell against him, and pouted into his chest, trying a different tactic, since her seducing had failed, "Then, why? Don't you want me?" She breathed into his neck in a sweet voice she normally never used with him, "Don't I turn you on?"

When she felt him shiver slightly next to her, Claire smiled, and slowly let one of her

hands go underneath his shirt and onto his stomach. It was very innocent, but at the same time sensual. It caused his breathing to heighten, and he brought her hand back out from under his shirt, "I do want you, _a lot_."

"Then?"

He sighed and looked over to her, defeated, obviously not happy that she had asked, "I'm full of drugs, Claire. It just wouldn't feel the same, for you or me."

She scowled and frowned, crossing her arms, "But you said we could skip dinner and come back here. I thought you meant-"

Again, he muffled her talking with his lips, then pulled apart, "I just wanted to kiss you."

Feeling a bit used and lied to, Claire sprung up from the bed, overcome with the anger she'd had for him earlier that day, "Just kiss? That's not enough, Peter, I need more from you. I give and give and you aren't giving me anything back!"

Shock spread through his pale face and he looked up at her, licking his lips, "We're going shopping tomorrow-"

Claire groaned, "That's not what I mean. I mean emotionally, you're so completely detached." She fell dramatically to the floor, on her knees, and hid her face in her hands, "I don't even know what to do with you anymore-I just don't."

From the bed, Peter watched her, unsure of what to do. Would she get more upset if he went to hug her? Or was that what she wanted? He didn't know. Either way, an unimaginable amount of guilt filled him for the first time in a while, and all he could do while she sat on the floor with her face in her hands, was stare at her.


	24. Part XXI

**elzangel: **It is sort of pathetic that he just stared, lol. But yes it's good that they're more open with each other. I hope the chapter bellow pleases you. :D

**everybodysmile:** Thanks kat! You don't know how much your reviews mean to me :D I hope this chapter is just as satisfying as the last one :D

**pairegal21:** Lauren! You're right his only drug should be Claire LOL

**elenwyn: **I'm just glad you like it Ellie :) And yes, you just can't help at feel drawn to Peter sigh

**faithfulwriter: **I hope that's a good loss for words lol. thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Thanks to **Ellie** for doing a wonderful job of beta-ing!  
**

* * *

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

**Part XXI **

__

Claire groaned, "That's not what I mean. I mean emotionally, you're so completely detached." She fell dramatically to the floor, on her knees, and hid her face in her hands, "I don't even know what to do with you anymore-I just don't."

__

From the bed, Peter watched her, unsure of what to do. Would she get more upset if he went to hug her? Or was that what she wanted? He didn't know. Either way, an unimaginable amount of guilt filled him for the first time in a while, and all he could do while she sat on the floor with her face in her hands, was stare at her...

The previous night had been a disaster to say the least. Claire had eventually locked herself in the bathroom, determined not to cry. It was stupid of her to do it, it was just sex and, if he wasn't ready, she guessed she could understand. But not because of the stupid reason he gave her, _that_ was what had pushed her over the edge.

When she'd gone to bed he'd fled, but she'd just brushed his absence off her shoulder, as if it didn't matter. When in fact it did, it mattered because she knew he was out somewhere, putting himself in danger.

But in the morning he was at her side. His eyes were still closed, and his face was serene and calm, all worries gone. That's how she liked him, Claire could go on forever staring at him in his sleep, because it was almost like looking at the Peter she knew and remembered from years ago. The only visible difference was that he was deathly pale and thinner but, other than that, he hadn't aged a day.

Her hand made its way to his clammy cheek and massaged it with her fingertips, tracing them to his lips and hair, all the while he stayed asleep. She only wished that, once he woke up, it would be the same, and that he'd open his eyes to reveal the same Peter, still full of life. She wished that his voice would still be filled with that bubbly spark to it, and made her remember only the good things they'd gone through in the past.

More than anything, she just wished that it could be like before. Wished that there wasn't a barrier between them. It wasn't visible, and neither spoke of it, but Claire could see that in his condition, they just couldn't fully connect like before. Sure she loved him, and she hoped it was reciprocated, but it wasn't the same as it had once been. It wasn't one-hundred percent.

His eyes slowly opened and Claire smiled at him sweetly. The last thing she wanted to do was dwell on what happened the night before. He let his eyes close again, but he smiled at her too, and Claire instinctively hooked her leg onto his to pull herself closer to him. Her hands made their way to his torso and underneath his shirt on their own accord, searching his skin.

She felt him squirm slightly against her touch, but he planted slow kisses on her mouth, a smile plastered on his lips while he did so. Claire urged further, letting her hands glide towards the bottom where his jeans hung low but, as she did so, Peter's stomach gave a huge lurch.

Immediately, she pulled back and frowned at him, "What was that?"

Peter raised an eyebrow and shrugged, moving towards her lips again, "I think it was my stomach?"

Despite the fact that she really wanted to kiss him. Despite that he tasted good against her, that he felt good against her, she pushed back again. The noise his stomach had made scared her. It was like another wake up call, letting her know that things weren't ok, and that she really wasn't paying attention like she should have. Or maybe she had been paying attention, she just hadn't done anything about it.

"What's wrong with it?"

He sighed, "I don't know, Claire. It just makes weird noises sometimes." His mouth ran along her earlobe, sucking on it slowly- it was very distracting.

She had more willpower though, and pulled apart from him once again, seeing the annoyance in his eyes, but not really caring about it at the moment.

"Are you starving yourself, Peter?"

Peter's eyes grew, and he raised an eyebrow, "No. Are you trying to stereotype me?"

God, he was beautiful. Again, Claire was distracted by his ridiculous perfection and held her breath in awe at how just a simple facial expression that he made could make her dizzy with desire for him. All she could do was stare at him in a complete frozen state, taking him all in.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Claire cupped his face and kissed him softly, turning him so that soon she was pinning him down on the bed, and she was directly on top of his hips. The rhythm of her hips grinding down on his ignited a low groan from Peter's throat, and Claire smiled into their kiss. It was, seriously, completely absurd how just looking at him could change her mood, or make her forget what she'd been saying only minutes before.

It had been something about-

She couldn't finish her sentence as Peter's hand found its way to her hips and hugged her with his hand. He truly was the master of distraction. Not that she minded that very second, but that was probably due to the fact that she was too overwhelmed by his body to even think of whether or not his distractions bothered her.

In a smooth but sudden movement, she was underneath him, and it was him that was searching her body now, with great softness to his touches. His lips searched the side of her throat and his hands found their way to her hair, massaging her.

When Peter hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, Claire moaned quietly, and fluttered her eyes open and closed, in completely contented by his touch.

But when he shifted his weight to one side, Claire caught a glimpse of something that had fallen out of his pocket. The larger part of herself was telling her to ignore it and just lay in bliss as he bestowed more wonderful kisses on her, but the smaller-the more _logically_ thinking part, didn't.

And though she knew it might ruin the moment, it was the right thing to do. She unwillingly tore one of her arms away from his torso, and struggled to reach down to his pocket-him still completely unaware. When she had it in her hand, she brought it up to her face with curiosity, and felt her heart fall once more into a never ending pit of fright.

There was a tiny cylinder made out of glass that resembled a straw with a rubber band, binding it to a tiny Ziploc bag, and a piece of foil. Her forehead tightened into a frown, but she continued to let him kiss her while she examined what she'd found.

Claire didn't have any experience with drugs-had never tried them, or had friends who had, so she really didn't know what to do. She just held the tiny package in her hand, while Peter-oblivious to what she'd found, kept kissing her. Claire swallowed and frowned just a bit, "What's the attraction?"

Peter laughed against her throat, "I could start with your eyes, and your lips-"

"No. I'm talking about _this_." She held the contents in her hand and he looked up with a small frown, which quickly turned into stone. Claire would have thought it impossible before, but his face got paler, and his eyes shifted from what she was holding to her face.

"It's not what you think, Claire." Peter's voice was awkward and tensed.. His hand immediately reached for what she was holding, but she snatched it away from his grasp.

"Give it to me."

She wiggled herself out from under him and stood up, crossing her arms, "No. Do you see yourself?"

He looked away and sighed, taking a piece of lint off of his black jeans and looked back up with her, all emotion removed from his face, "Claire-Everything is fine."

"Fine? So you making yourself so sick that you puke in the morning is fine? Your skin tone is fine? The noises I heard your stomach made-that's all fine?"

Peter stood silent. There wasn't anything he could say back, and she knew that, "See? I'm right. You know I'm right. You're-Peter, can't you see-"

"Just leave it alone! I don't want to talk about this, Claire," he snapped.

Her nose flared, "You don't-but _I_ do. I just can't take seeing you like this. It hurts that you want it more than me, that you love it more than me."

She let the sadness roll off of her tongue with a tremble, hoping he'd catch it and have it cause him guilt. Claire hoped that it would be enough for him to see that it tore her that he didn't love her. Another thought hit her in that moment, something that she hadn't fully taken time to thoroughly analyze. Never, in her time with Peter had he said the words 'love' to her. Of course he wouldn't, all that time she'd simply been a prop to for him, he'd only felt guilty.

It felt like the air had been taken from the room, and something gnawed at her insides as that thought fully penetrated throughout her. She walked backwards until she hit a dresser, and slid down, "Oh, God, you don't. Do you?"

In an uncharacteristic speed for Peter, he jumped out of the bed and ran to her, taking her face in his hands, and forcing her to look up at his own torn expression.

"I love you-I wish there were words to explain just how much I love you." His eyesight searched her face in an attempt to make her understand.

But Claire refused to give in to his declaration. Instead, she shook her head, allowing for the tears to flow down her cheeks as she clenched her eyes shut. It was all she could do in that moment to keep from sobbing, "No, you don't. If you did, you wouldn't do this to yourself."

He froze for a second and Claire registered that he wasn't breathing. She opened her eyes to see that his were solely on what she was holding in her hand. She knew she was right, how could she not be? When he looked at them with such longing and desire.

Peter swallowed and looked back to her, "I won't anymore. Ok? It's over-I only need _you,_ Claire."

For some reason, their situation seemed all too familiar. Like something out of an HBO movie she'd seen once with a supermodel-except the supermodel had been a girl, and gay.

Still, the point was that-she remembered what happened in that movie. She remembered the brief happiness, followed by the sad ending.

No. That wouldn't happen to Peter, she'd never allow it to get that bad.

She swallowed again, an inhaled deeply, trying to sound firm, "As soon as we get back to New York, we're going straight to Mohinder's."

For a moment, she thought she saw doubt in his eyes, that or hesitation, but he washed it away with his crooked smile, and kissed her tenderly, "Whatever you want, Claire. Whatever you want."

...

Claire had been to the Venetian in Las Vegas, even to Venice beach in California once, with Andy. But there was no comparison to the _real_ Italy. And not only being there, but accompanied by Peter made it all better.

It almost hadn't happened- their trip to Italy. The five days following their final argument, Peter had gotten sick, to the point where Claire had doubted what she'd asked him to do.

It had made her feel horrible to watch him whither in pain, as he lay in the bed with a fever and clammy skin. It looked simply-unbearable for him.

Not once though, throughout his sickened days, had he stopped and said it was no use.

Not once had he told her that he was giving up and simply choosing a life without her- that was what had really made her realize he loved her. It was just the fact that he chose her over something his body needed so badly, something his body _demanded_.

Their first stop after getting off the plane and going to check into their scandalously elegant hotel, had been the Trevi Fountain. Or as Peter had corrected her, _'Fontana Di Trevi'._

She knew it shouldn't have surprised her how authentic his accent had been, but it still did. She sometimes forgot that he was a world renowned super model, and was bound to pick up a thing or two along the way.

They left their hotel room perfectly coordinated, by Peter's insistence. He wore white slacks, a white v-neck t-shirt, and a navy blue blazer with gold buttons, and had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with his Aviator sunglasses. While Claire wore a navy blue, high waisted short skirt, and a gold and white tank top with white gladiator sandals.

When Peter had rummaged through her luggage and taken out her outfit, she'd rolled her eyes and refused to wear it. But after she'd seen him come out of the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help to think how marvelous of a job he'd done.

What was even more pleasant was that the weather was perfect for their attire, and Claire let a tiny smirk work it's way to her lips as Peter's hand slipped into hers and intertwined their fingers.

If she had been watching a movie, or looking at pictures with them from someone else's point of view, she would have thought it completely cheesy, but to her-it was simply the way it should be.

And though it was a bit conceited to say it out loud, she totally deserved this from him.

After all, she'd put up with him from the moment he had walked up to her at the mansion, to their horrible morning in Pairs, it was the least she deserved from him.

Claire was so caught up in her thoughts that, as they stood beside one another looking into the fountain, she didn't realize Peter had closed in on her, and that his mouth was less than in inch away from her ear, "Make a wish, Claire."

Nervously, her fingers wrapped around the coin she held in her hand tightly. There were so many things she wanted, so many things to wish for. But one stood out more than others, and Claire closed her eyes, mentally saying her wish like a mantra before throwing the coin in.

When she was done, she looked up to him with a smile, "Aren't you going to make a wish?"

He shook his head and gave her his crooked smile he knew she loved so much, "Nope, I already got mine."

...

Night had fallen in the romantic city, giving it more of a lustful feeling- at least, that's what Claire felt as they dined right on the edge of the water, looking as gondolas passed by with couples.

As the waiter brought them their food, Peter looked to Claire, "This is the best restaurant in Italy."

Claire turned her face back at him, narrowing her eyes, "Do you bring all your girlfriends here?"

Peter scoffed, and looked at his food tentatively, not touching it, then back up at Claire, "Does Adam count?"

She wrinkled her nose, "I think so, except-you'd be the girlfriend because you're so beautiful," Claire took a bite of her ravioli, then frowned, "Can you believe he's going to be a dad?"

At the mention of dad, Peter nearly choked on his Pepsi, and looked at Claire incredulously, "He's going to be a dad?"

Peter was right. Never in her life had Claire had such good Italian food. _So _good in fact, that she'd completely tuned him out and moaned, savoring the taste as the marinera sauce hit her tongue with its succulent spices. She closed her eyes and chewed, wondering if there was a way to get such good food in Manhattan.

"Claire?"

She kept her eyes closed and chewed on her food, completely oblivious to the fact that Peter was still calling her name. It was only after she swallowed her food that she opened her eyes and smiled at him, "This is the best food ever."

He chuckled, and shook his head, "Jesus, Claire, it looked like you were having an orgasm." She blushed, and he sighed, "What do you mean Adam is going to be a dad?"

Claire was tempted to take another bite, but knew if she did, she'd probably completely ignore him again. The food was too good to eat while trying to hold a conversation at the same time.

But she did her best and looked up to him, taking another bite, "Maya's pregnant. He told me at your photo shoot in Paris. Didn't he tell you?"

She brought another ravioli piece to her mouth and savored the delicious flavor in her mouth, closing her eyes again. Was it possible to orgasm eating good food? She was certainly starting to think it was possible.

When she'd finished eating her piece, she opened her eyes to see a shocked Peter, eyeing his Pepsi, "He never told me anything..."

There was a great temptation to take another bite of the ravioli, but Claire simply bit her lip and sighed, trying to concentrate better on Peter. As she looked at his plate, she noticed he hadn't even taken a single bite. That bothered her, "Aren't you hungry?"

Peter winced a little and shook his head, "Not really."

He seemed to be going over something in his head. completely lost in his own thoughts, but that didn't matter to Claire. Despite not seeming to have ingested any drugs, his appetite was still a worry to her. Claire liked the fact that he was lean, because it fit him

well, but he was still a little too thin for her liking.

"Peter. Eat. You look like a cigarette stick."

With a deep breath, he frowned, "I could use one."

The fact that he wanted a cigarette made her want to scowl and shake him by the arms, but she didn't. It was one thing at a time, and she couldn't demand he do every change at once, they had to take things step by step.

"So he's really got her pregnant?" His face was still screwed up in an incomprehensible

expression. It wasn't that he looked upset-or happy, his expression was just so-confused,

"Why didn't he tell me?"

That wasn't too difficult to figure out, even for her, "Well- you _were_ in pretty bad shape that day-you were really sick."

Peter's face had turned towards the water. Claire guessed any talk about that was still uncomfortable for him. After all, that had been the day he'd gotten sick. He was silent for a long time before looking back at her, "Have you ever been on a gondola?"

...

"I wish it could always be like this," she whispered softly to him. Peter had his arm behind her securely as the gondola swayed back and forth.

"Who says it can't?"

His voice had always brought a chill to her spine- in a good way. In a way she'd never imagined anyone could make her feel. It was something magical, completely fictional, that wasn't suppose to exist or be possible. Yet, all logic was lost when she was with Peter. When she was with him, she lost herself completely and just _felt_.

The moment was so perfect, and time just seemed to stop around them, but Claire bring herself back to reality. She had to remind him what they were and what would happen, "It can't be like this back home. We have to go back to pretending at home."

Her head was resting on his chest, and she felt him breath in deeply against her and tense up, "What if-We don't. We don't have to pretend, Claire. We can be real."

Shocked by his proposal, Claire turned to him with her forehead in a tight frown, "What do you mean, be real?"

The confidence that it had taken him to say that had long since passed, and he bit his lower lip before responding, "I mean- we could tell Nathan, and Heidi. I wouldn't hide how I feel for you. I-would do anything for you, Claire."

As much as she liked the sound of that and she wanted it-they couldn't just prance up to the mansion and confess their undying love for one another. Despite what her early relationship had been with the Petrelli's, she'd grown quite close to them. Maybe she was going out on a limb, but...she _loved_ them now. Which was exactly why she couldn't just tear apart the family like that.

No, this was their secret, "We can't, Peter. Imagine what it would do to Nathan, or Angela."

He sighed again, "They both hate me already, I don't think I'd disappoint them too much."

He snickered, "Maybe they'd even expect it from me."

"They don't hate you, Peter. They're just worried about you," she wrapped her arms around his torso.

She felt a laugh come from him, "I'll admit- Nathan- He cared at first, but my mom...we haven't spoken since-the day you died, Claire." He let his chest fall slowly as he whispered, "Believe me, my mother doesn't care."

The slow tunes coming from the music of the gondola to Peter's crack in his voice as he spoke; it all really overwhelmed her at that moment, and she snuggled her head further into chest. She felt his pain.

...

For about the thirtieth time that day, Claire walked around her dorm, straightening every piece of furniture, and plumping her pillows in just the right position. Nervous was definitely not enough to describe how she felt, she was completely beyond that.

It was Christmas Eve, and going over to the Petrelli mansion was starting to scare her more than it should have. Before, she'd been looking forward to going and mingling with her half-brothers. Now though, all she could think about was if it was obvious that something had changed.

Would they be able to figure out what was going on between her and Peter by merely looking at them? Claire hoped not.

On Nathan's insistence, they were both being picked up by his driver, which was why

Claire had decided to play her part well, and have him pick her up at her dorm, to minimize giving them any clues as to what was really happening.

When she looked out her window, she saw the black car pull up instantly and grabbed her things, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and swallowing as she made her way out the door.

Peter was already waiting inside the warm and comfortable car when the driver opened the door for her. He was smiling smugly, but remembered to play his part well, since the driver was there and all.

"Hey," he stated, running a hand through his messy bangs. He hadn't gelled them on her insistence; she liked to be able to put her hands through them whenever it pleased her.

She curled both her hands into fists, trying to fight the urge to do so right there and then. Peter noticed and chuckled, only making her bite her lip. It pleased her to see him in a good mood like that, it was such a change from his half closed, empty eyes that had haunted her before.

They didn't say anything else until they got to the Petrelli mansion and were at the door, waiting to be let in. Claire inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, but Peter only chuckled.

"Act natural, Claire, it's not that hard."

Claire shook her head and mumbled, "Easy for you to say, you're like, a pathological liar already."

Heidi opened the door with a grin and rushed them inside, making sure to take their coats in the process.

First she looked at Claire, then to Peter, and let her smile grow as she saw him. He had his own little smirk working it's way into his face, "You look great, Peter," she complimented him, taking him into a hug.

He tentatively hugged her back, then eyed Claire and slowly pulled out of the hug, "Um, thanks."

But Heidi still couldn't take her eyes off of him. She was clearly staring at him now, and called for Nathan, who was busy discussing something with Monty-or Simon, Claire wasn't really sure which.

Once Nathan turned and spotted them, he ran instinctively first to Claire and enveloped in a tight, not so awkward hug, that she returned, "H-Nathan."

"Honey, doesn't Peter look amazing?" Heidi asked, letting Nathan's arm slip around her waist loosely, as he too turned to look at him with a noticeably less excited face than what he'd had for Claire.

Nathan eyed Peter up and down frowning slightly, "Yeah-sure, sure do."

Angela joined them soon, from the same direction in which Nathan had come. And she too only looked towards Claire as she approached them, "Claire, honey, how was your trip?" she asked in the most affectionate way she'd ever witnessed Angela do.

She asked everything from how Paris had been, to what she'd done in Italy. Never though, throughout their conversation, did she once glance or even acknowledge that Peter was in the same room with them, still half expecting a greeting from his mother and a smile-anything.

But it never came. Instead, Angela grabbed Claire's elbow softly, pushing her towards the living room, leaving a semi shocked and resolved Peter, looking to her with an understanding smile.

Claire swallowed, Peter had been right. Angela wanted nothing to do with him. And she knew that if what he felt at her rejection was worse than the pain that had suddenly run through her, it was horrible.

The fact that Angela would even do that, or ignore him, was beyond her comprehension.

"We have a surprise for you, Claire", cooed Angela.

Claire frowned, "What is it?"

"It's running a little late, but it should be here towards the end of dinner", Nathan added as excitedly as Angela. Claire didn't like surprises, at least not ones that didn't come from Peter.

Dinner went off without a glitch, and for the rest of the evening, Claire was bombarded with questions from both Nathan and Angela. Only Heidi asked Peter questions-it made her feel better that at least she was being kind to him.

"How was your birthday, Peter?"

Claire snapped her head almost immediately towards them, "What? When was your birthday?"

All eyes were on Peter in that moment, even Angela was looking at him, with an expression Claire couldn't read. But it didn't look indifferent, or angry-which was what surprised Claire.

Peter licked his lips, and cleared his throat, "It was- yesterday."

Claire dropped her fork, a little too dramatically, and frowned at him, "You didn't tell me anything!" The whole table had gone silent, and were watching as Claire continued to yell at Peter.

"I forgot." He noticed that they were being watched, and tried to send her a message through their eyes, at her obvious behavior.

She didn't seem to get the message though, and opened her mouth to answer back, when there was a knock at the door.

Nathan bolted right up, with a smirk, "That should be _it_."

Claire kept her scowl at Peter. How dare he not tell her that it had been his birthday? He hadn't forgotten, she knew that. And suddenly, all her insecurities swam back into her with rapid speed. Had he decided to spend it with someone else? Elle, maybe?

He wasn't going to get away with it. She was going to confront him about it as soon as they left-

"Hello."

The voice. Claire's stomach had a small spurt of butterflies run through it. She knew that voice, had known it for years. It sent a wave of comfort through her body-hearing it.

It wasn't an option, she had to turn around, and when she did, he was there. Andy.

With a breathy sigh, she looked up to his face, "Hello."


	25. Part XXII

**pairegal21:** Lauren. You're like always in such a hurry lol I can tell by the way you type. But don't worry, I don't think Andy will be much of a problem :D Read Below...actually on second thought, he might be?

**faithfulwriter:** LOL Poor Nathan, he was only trying to do the right thing :D Thanks for reviewing :D

**elenwyn:** er...what did I hint to you? I forgot lol. I dunno what's going to happen :D I figure it out as I start writing each new chapter :D

**everybodysmile:** Kat! I love your reviews! Even when they're (what's that word?) constructive criticism? lol I don't remember what it is. But thanks so much, i like that you can see that there's actually a plot going on. You're right, we'll be getting to the climax pretty soon :D I've never seen One Tree Hill myself, so i don't know what Haley and Nathan's relationship is like? But you're right, they're definitely trying to work things out. Who knows? Maybe they'll get a really fluffy ending ;)

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Thanks to **Ellie **for doing a wonderful job of beta-ing!  
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Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part XXII

__

The voice. Claire's stomach had a small spurt of butterflies run through it. She knew that voice, had known it for years. It sent a wave of comfort through her body-hearing it.

__

It wasn't an option, she had to turn around, and when she did, he was there. Andy.

__

With a breathy sigh, she looked up to his face, "Hello."

It wasn't right- or maybe, it was just that- that it _was_ right.

The feelings that had flushed into her body with the sudden entrance of Andy scared her. It was so _strong_, so _familiar_; it made her feel normal. She remembered his scent, his smile, even without having to see it in front of her. It was just there in her mind.

Everything about him made its way back to her, and she felt the urge to leap up, to have him embrace her in one of his bear hugs.

So she did.

Claire didn't realize it at first but, once she was in his arms and had an equally huge grin on her face as his, she turned back to see the face that had crossed her mind as her body had been enveloped in Andy's strong arms. Peter.

He didn't look upset or angry- he wasn't even looking at them at all. Instead, he was simply playing with his food, which was still untouched. But she guessed he was trying to occupy himself, so he wouldn't have to see the joy that had spread throughout her with the presence of Andy.

It hit her, the way she was looking at Andy- it _wasn't _right. Well it was- and in the world they lived in, completely normal- but she didn't want it to be. Not when her porcelain doll was sitting next to her. Not when he was so fragile, that she knew every word that came out of her mouth-every action she did, was so important to his well being.

When all that had gone through her head, she instantly let go of him, as if he was some type of homeless person that reeked. Hurt crossed his eyes for a few seconds, but that didn't concern her nearly as much as how it hurt Peter seeing her happy with Andy.

"Merry Christmas, Claire," he breathed out with his smile, making his beautiful dimples protrude.

Claire smiled back and bit her lip, looking towards Nathan and Heidi.. They both had grins on their faces as if they'd done something right, but it couldn't have been further from the truth. It was wrong for them to dangle him in front of her like a toy. Of course she wanted him, he was her comfort blanket.

With Andy there was no worry, no fright. She didn't have to be on alert, hoping he'd come home safely, or worry that he wasn't eating right, or that he was smoking too much. He was easy to be with. If anything, he'd always been the one to worry about and take care of _her_. All of that made it so tempting to be with him, because she didn't have to worry about anything like she did with Peter.

And when she was with Peter, it was always a question of what was wrong and what she could do to make it better. It was always her making sure he'd eaten his breakfast, or got some sleep. But that was just the thing, he _needed_ her. It was obvious that without her he'd been on the edge- barely managing to take care of himself properly- going days without eating, or ingesting too many things that harmed him. He hadn't had anyone to tell him to do otherwise, it was her job to stop that now. She couldn't leave him in his most fragile state, even if she sometimes wanted to.

"What are you doing here?"

Andy's grin grew, and he cast a look towards both Nathan and Heidi. They all looked triumphant still, and it sort of irritated Claire, "Well, I spoke to your dad about what happened, and he wanted to help us out. We shouldn't give up so easily, and they agree."

__

'Us'.

As far as Claire was concerned, her and Andy had no necessity to use the term 'us'.

And for Nathan and Heidi to go behind her back to try and play matchmaker- that was infuriating all on its own. It was none of their business who she wanted to be with. What type of world was it when the bio dad that once wanted nothing to do with you all of a sudden seemed to care too much?

Claire bit her lip. Andy's attempt to save their relationship was sweet, but at the same time kind of annoying- that was a new emotion she'd never felt for him before. It kind of made her feel better to know that her flawless Prince Charming had a kink to him she didn't really like.

Looking around the dinning room, it was pretty obvious to see that all eyes were still on her- except Peter. She took a big breath and looked at Nathan and Heidi, "Would you excuse us for a few minutes?"

She wasn't really asking them, not really- it was more of Peter, but she figured it would look weird to them, her asking _him_ permission to go outside and talk to Andy.

They walked to the back of the house, into the veranda and Claire closed door, so that they were both outside in the freezing December night. She looked at him and his Texas tan, with blonde hair and blue eyes- he was gorgeous, hot- a dream boyfriend that any girl would dream of having- except her. It was pretty clear that she preferred beautiful and sexy uncles to hot, southern boyfriends.

"Why did you come?" Claire crossed her arms in an attempt to bring heat to her body from the harsh wind.

Andy noticed and immediately took off his jacket to hand it to her. Dammit, did he have to be so utterly perfect? No. She shook off the thought that she was being softened by his gestures, and remembered there was someone else inside the house that was much more than what perfect had to offer..

She stood in her spot, refusing to take his jacket and just held her gaze on him, waiting for an answer.

He finally sighed and brought his arm back, "I came here because I'm not ready to lose you, Claire. Whoever this is that has you wrapped around his finger- it's a mistake. He can't possibly be what you want, not when your family hasn't even met him yet."

A soft drizzle started pouring from the sky, and Claire felt her blonde hair beginning to dampen. It was the first time Andy frowned, "Why did you dye your hair blonde?"

"You shouldn't be here, Andy," She sighed, gaining some confidence and ignoring his question. "We're over. I like who I'm with- I'm happy."

Andy scoffed and shook his head, "No, you're not, Claire. I know you, I know when something's wrong. You have worry etched throughout your face- you're in complete turmoil. You can't lie to me, you aren't happy."

Of course she was happy- to some extent. Besides, who wanted to be blissfully happy anyway? It was completely overrated and so..._bland_. She liked having the little uncertainty she had with Peter, it kept them busy, it was just the way they were.

The wind got stronger and Claire bit her lip, knowing she couldn't lie to Andy, yet wanting to give him an explanation of why she'd choose misery over their perfect relationship. But even she was finding it hard to reason with; what was her reason anyway? That Peter was hot? That he needed her? Did she need him?...

No. The thought that she didn't need him sent a panic attack to her chest and she hugged herself tighter, not wanting to let herself be influenced by Andy's promise of a better environment and unquestionable love- even if it was _very _tempting.

"I'm fine, Andy. I'm as happy as I need to be," She murmured, not quite sure of herself.

She knew she didn't sound confidant, but hopefully it was enough to convince him to leave her alone.

But it wasn't. He shook his head and frowned at her, "Something's not right, Claire. Does he hurt you_?" _

_'Not physically.'_

"No. He would never dream of touching me. Besides, we both know I can pretty much come back from anything."

The blonde, handsome guy before her shook his head and sighed, "There's other types of ways to hurt, you know. He's hurting you- isn't he?"

Damn him and his ability to see through her lies. Who was he to ask anymore anyway?

Just an ex-boyfriend. The irritation she'd felt earlier came back, and she welcomed it, "What goes on with me and him is none of your business, Andy."

She'd never seen him scowl before, but he did right then, and gently put his hands on her shoulders as if to shake her, but just held her still, "Why, Claire? Why would you want to be with someone who hurts you? I would never hurt you! You know that! Why do you choose to be with-this guy who doesn't treat you right? I love you, Claire. Does he?"

Her lower lip trembled. The truth was, she was willing to bet that Peter didn't love her anywhere near as much as Andy did, which made her feel foolish about her decision. But he did love her enough, enough that everything else that went through them didn't matter. The little love he showed for her was enough to wash away their problems and keep her content- because _his_ love way ten times as potent as Andy's.

Thinking this, Claire felt a little more confident and smiled through her eyes that were gleaming a little, "He loves me enough."

With a resigning sigh, Andy shook his head, "Promise me, if he hurts you- You'll come to me, Claire. I'll be here, waiting for you."

"Andy-"

She was about to protest, but he put a finger up and smirked, "That's all I'm asking for, Claire. I want to be here for you."

Claire smiled sadly at him and nodded, not wanting to speak, because she knew her voice would crack- or that she'd possibly change her mind and run to him with open arms. All she could do was stick out her hand and shake his, "Friends?"

He nodded.

When they made their way back to the dinning room, there was one less person seated.

Claire's heart stopped when she realized who in fact was missing. His plate was still untouched, and the chair was carefully in place at the table. It didn't even phase anyone that he'd left, they were all _smiling_, seeming completely untouched by his absence.

"Where's Peter?" She asked almost immediately. The thought of him wandering off on his own was still scary for her. He was like a little puppy, she needed to be with him- to watch him.

Heidi was the only to stop laughing, but kept smiling as she answered, "Oh. He said he had to leave- that there was an emergency with his agent or something." She waved it off as if it wasn't really important.

She had been right to call him a pathological liar. What could be wrong with Adam?

Nothing. And if there was, what could Peter do anyway? He was useless. She mentally hit herself for saying that, but it was true, apart from his fashion expertise and undeniable beauty...there wasn't anything else useful of Peter.

"It's Christmas Eve, and you guys just let him _go_?" she asked incredulously.

Nathan rolled his eyes, "He's never been much for holidays, Claire. Besides, the important thing is, our _family_ is here and Andy is here. There's nothing else you have to worry about."

What was Peter? A second cousin twice removed? The way Nathan so easily brushed him off as if he were nothing to the family scared her. Where had the strong bond between the two brothers gone? Years ago, this attitude would have never even been possible. Why did Nathan still hold such a grudge for Peter, when she was ok and healthy?

For the evening she let it go. If she left abruptly, she knew it would have looked suspicious. Nathan, Heidi, nor Angela might have been able to figure out her sudden want to leave, but she knew that Andy would eventually figure it out. Which was why she had to stay and not clue him into exactly who it was that she was with.

It would have been a lie to say that for the rest of the night she didn't enjoy herself. It was easy to, with Andy and the rest of her family. The atmosphere was pleasant and the conversation light and easy to join. Everything about it was quite normal, as any family should be, even if Peter wasn't there.

They spoke about Nathan's upcoming campaign for the White House, the next semester at NYU- which now it seemed that Andy would still be joining- and also her _mystery_ boyfriend. As much as Claire thought it would have been uncomfortable to talk about him, it wasn't. Because she was able to let them see just how wonderful he really was- in his own unique way.

The evening ended before midnight, but with the promise that she'd be back the next day.

After all, it was Christmas. The only thing that left her uneasy was Nathan's invitation to Andy to join them again the next day . She didn't want Peter to suffer through the day of having him there.

Right when she was going to leave, she looked at the plate Peter had left untouched and asked their maid to wrap it to go. When everyone around the table eyed her questionably, she just made up the excuse that it would be nice to have some food to eat in her dorm.

Yeah, it was sort of lame, but she didn't have any other reason.

When Claire refused to take let their driver take her home, they thought it a little odd, but didn't push her about it further. Instead, she hailed a cab before Andy was out the door, to avoid having to share one with him. She couldn't imagine what she'd say if he asked her just why she was going to her Uncle's in the middle of the night, rather than her own dorm room..

All she could think about on her way to his apartment was that she hoped he would be there. He had to be there, where else would he go? He didn't have a key to her dorm, and she didn't think he'd wait outside for her to get there. Not when most of the girl population there knew who he was.

Her worries were put to rest when she opened his door to see him sitting on the floor of his balcony, smoking. For the moment, it didn't bother her that he was smoking, she was just glad that he was there and waiting for her..

When Claire closed the door, his head snapped towards her with a look of relief on his beautiful, porcelain face and she smiled at him, leaving the food on his island and walking towards him.

Seeing Andy again had made her happy, and she'd felt the normalcy with him, but having her arms around Peter- that just felt _home_.

"Why did you leave me?" she murmured into his chest. She didn't like the fact that her short arms could easily wrap around him.

He kissed the top of her head softly and laid his head on hers, "It didn't feel right to be there. I wasn't really-welcomed, and I think you could see that."

She had, but it wasn't right. Especially not to her once upon a time hero, he didn't deserve to be treated with such unconcerned behavior. He was suppose to be treated with delicacy and warmth; couldn't they see his frailness?

All of a sudden, he was kissing her and throwing the cigarette off the balcony, only wanting to hold her hips with his hands as he led her back into he warmth of his apartment. There was urgency in his kissing- lust- want and total _desire_. It sparked

Claire's own lust for him, and only ignited her own passion for him back. Their kisses were heated and sloppy, but Claire was aware of his intent and wasn't anywhere near objecting.

He gently pushed her onto his bed and pinned her underneath him. His kisses migrated to her neck and ear, and she felt him starting to tug at the red, satin dress he had picked out for her to wear to dinner. She helped him get it over her head and onto the floor, liking what his intentions seemed to be.

Her own hands traveled to his pants where she caressed him through the material of them, just like she'd done before. She felt him buck against her touch and moan into her mouth, biting down slightly on her bottom lip. The sound he made with his moans always drove her further over the edge- exciting her more, and only making her want to please him further.

So she continued massaging while he worked on her bra and seeing the necessity he had to take it off. His hands worked swiftly but softly, throwing it to the side and bringing his lips down to her breasts. Claire gasped, feeling his mouth take in her nipple and sucking on it with urgency- yet delicacy at the same time.

He cupped the other one with one hand and let the other drift towards her panties, forcing them down and off of her. Still, she didn't object, this was, after all, exactly what she wanted- what she had been waiting for since the second their lips had met for the first time. Truly, she just wanted _all_ of him for herself.

With the same quickness he had shown, her hands worked on unbuckling his belt, not bothering to pull his pants down, just grabbing his manhood and making him gasp onto her nipple. His groan made his mouth vibrate and she arched back, closing her eyes and enjoying how his lips felt on her.

In a matter of minutes, the rest of his clothes were thrown carelessly on the floor, joining hers, as he continued to search her body, and she his. It was full of new sensations, new ones that Claire welcomed and wanted more of. She spread her legs with an invitation, letting him know she was ready.

He froze for a second, suddenly unsure of what he was doing, and looked up to her with his own flushed face ready to ask.

"Please," she begged, grabbing his face and bringing his lips to smash against her own.

He was so close, right at her entrance, and she could feel him ready to enter her. She bucked her hips lightly and he thrust into her and stalled, letting them both soak in the ecstasy of each other.

Unlike the many stories she had heard about first times, Claire didn't experience any pain, not even anything uncomfortable. It was simply the most wonderful feeling that she could imagine- being that close to Peter. She let him take a second to breathe and kiss her as he slowly began to thrust in and out of her again, finding his rhythm.

It was a whole new feeling and experience to Claire, so she let him do all the movements and just laid there, unable to say or do anything, but feel him deep inside her, bringing her pleasure that she'd never felt before.

He hid his head in the crook of her neck, breathing harshly against it, letting out tiny moans but not saying anything. It was too much for her too, she couldn't say anything either, but clutched his back with her hands, digging her nails into his soft skin. Carefully, he brought his shivering lips down to her skin, kissing it with his erratic breathing and clutching her shoulders with his hands, smacking further into her.

In a particular deep thrust, Claire gasped and clenched against him, biting into his shoulder, completely forgetting about his lack of ability to regenerate. But he didn't object to her love bite, it only fueled him further, making him pump into her with a faster speed, his breath uneven and causing him to groan.

His movements began to get jerkier, and Claire could tell by the hitching of his voice that he was close to his climax. He could tell that she wasn't yet thought and brought a hand down to her clit, massaging it. Claire gasped, not expecting to feel so much more than she already was, and felt herself clench around him tightly, leading her into her own climax along with him.

When he finished, Peter collapsed onto her, too out of breath to pull out, simply laying on top of her, still. The only movement he made was his chest moving up and down, swallowing big bouts of air.

After a few minutes, he pulled out and rolled off her to the side of the bed, but still let his arm drape around her, pulling her towards him. It was like he was afraid of letting her go. That's when he finally spoke and kissed her chest, granting her butterfly kisses down to her stomach, "I'll give you anything you want, Claire."

That's what it had been about-him showing her that if she wanted sex, he'd grant it- even if he still wasn't ready. It was to make her happy, but she didn't understand, why the sudden need to show her that? What was it about?

So she looked down to him and bit her lip, still unsure of what to say, "I know."

He looked at her intensely, "You're not leaving me right? Please, Claire, please don't."

Peter lowered his head so that it laid on her stomach, clutching her sides with his hands.

Claire swallowed and ran her hands through his hair soothingly, "Of course not. I'm not leaving you." It broke her heart to see how vulnerable he looked. And she blamed Nathan for it all.

He had invited Andy- _he_ had ignored Peter, and had basically isolated him so that he was alone and made him feel as if the family he'd once had, was gone. All Peter truly had left was her. It was clear how frightened he was of losing her then, she was his only constant, the only thing he had to live for. It broke her how clear his situation was to her now, how she could even feel the pain that he felt.

It was all because of that and more, because of the threat of Andy- that he had given in.

He needed to show her, that _he_ could make her happy- and he had.

She gripped him tighter, "I'm not leaving you, Peter, ever."

...

"Hold still! It won't be so bad- _geez_", Claire complained as a nervous Peter kept fidgeting in the elevator, all the way up to Mohinder's apartment.

It was Christmas morning, and Claire had, at the last minute, remembered that she'd agreed to bring Peter over to him to run the test before anything else. But at the idea of seeing Mohinder and the mention of needles, Peter had instantly shied away. He'd even tried to convince her that he'd rather spend the whole day at his mother's house, staring into space and being ignored, than be brought to Mohinder's apartment.

In a way, seeing him nervous like that, as if he was being sent to the principal's office- was adorable, but at the same time, irritating. She stared at him as he ran a hand through his ever growing bangs and sighed, "Why don't you want to see Mohinder anyway?"

Peter licked his lips and took out a cigarette from his back pocket, putting it in his mouth and looking for a lighter. But as his looked for it in his pockets, Claire snatched the cigarette from where it was placed in his lips, taking him off guard, "What the hell, Claire?"

She liked what he was wearing. It was a Calvin Klein t-shirt, with a J. Crew pea coat, and black, straight leg jeans from Dolce & Gabbana. Then again, he always looked so wonderful, even if it was simple. The difference that day though, was that he was wearing her sunglasses that she'd bought for him. Not just any sunglasses though-vintage ones from the sixties, which he claimed to love so much.

Still, she pushed the memory of their gift exchanging that morning aside and looked firmly at him, "Can't you go without a cigarette for one hour, Peter? Just one. And you never told me what your problem with Mohinder is."

He sighed and scratched the side of his neck, "It's not-him- exactly. Well, I guess it's partially him too? I feel bad that I never even went back to say goodbye after I thought you died. I just stopped showing up, never even called him again."

Claire rolled her eyes, "So you're afraid that he'll be mad at you because you've avoided him all these years and never even thought to call?"

Peter winced and nodded his head.

She blinked, completely stone-faced, "Sometimes, I seriously worry about your sexual orientation. You make it sound like you had a one night stand with the guy and felt guilty about not calling him back."

A mischievous grin spread across Peter's face and he glided to her, pinning her softly against the elevator wall, "I'm pretty sure I can convince you about my sexual orientation, if you're _really_ worried about it."

"Well- maybe, just to make sure, you know?" Claire stuttered back nervously. Peter nodded and bent down to give her a kiss, when the elevator came to a sudden stop and the doors opened.

There was a teenage girl that couldn't have been more than 15 waiting for them, with a huge smile plastered on her face at the sight of Peter.

If she had been a little older, Claire would have been jealous, but seeing Molly blush at the sight of Peter only made her remember when she'd had her own crush on Orlando Bloom when she'd been younger.

"Merry Christmas, we've been waiting for you guys," she squeaked nervously.


	26. Part XXIII

elzangel: I'm glad you like it, and thank you for reviewing. it is sweet how he's willing to do anything for her, isn't it? :D

Amy: Thanks amy! I know it's really heartbreaking to see that they're not close anymore :( Hopefully things will get better? I dunno, we'll see :D

elenwyn: LOL nice review Ellie lol

Gennibean: Yes, I think Peter will want it from now on :D

pairegal21: Thanks for reviewing Lauren, your reviews always make me laugh lol

everybodysmile: Hmm maybe he is into both lol ;)

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Thanks to Ellie for Beta-ing!!

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XXIII

_**A**_fter a unusual reunion, Peter seemed more at ease with being there- but he was still hesitant about Mohinder taking blood from him. In fact, he was so scared of Mohinder holding the needle that he had began to take refuge behind a scowling Claire.

"I just don't see why you have to do it," he complained, keeping his arms wrapped around himself, while Mohinder stood in front of Claire, trying to get past her with a needle.

Claire rolled her eyes, "Peter, stop being such a baby and just cooperate. It doesn't even hurt that much, I promise."

Peter scoffed at her, "How do _you_ know? Can't you just take a swab of saliva for DNA or something? I mean, does it _really_ need to be blood?" He swallowed, shivering a bit at the word.

"Just do it." she gritted through her teeth, clearly annoyed.

He scowled back at her, but extended his arm out for Mohinder to take. He grabbed it, and although Peter closed his eyes, he could smell the antiseptic that was being rubbed on his forearm. He bit down hard on his lip when he felt the sting of the needle pierce his skin.

Claire bit her lip hard to keep herself from smiling. Peter was, without a doubt, _adorable_.

She looked at his frowning face, clearly in pain, but couldn't help but think that _this_ was the Peter she missed-this Peter who stood in front of her, was the one that she had been waiting to see.

When he was done, Peter yanked back his arm protectively and took refuge behind Claire's back again. She tried not to smirk as she turned around to look at him, "It's ok. He's not going to take any more blood from you. You can sit up, Peter."

Peter tentatively sat back up and rolled down his sleeve, still not taking the look of fury off of his face. It was hilarious, but Claire doubted that laughing at the situation would make him feel any better. If anything, it would probably upset him even more.

Mohinder walked back into his lab, and Peter crossed his arms, smirking.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked, inching closer to him, but making sure not to touch him inappropriately. Molly was only a few feet away on the phone with Micah- her boyfriend, and Mohinder was just in the other room. If she touched him, it wouldn't look normal, there was no need to scar Molly with their incestuous relationship.

He turned to her and gave her his iconic half smile, "Just thinking about this morning," he whispered, looking at her smugly, "I was thinking...When we leave, we should try it again."

Claire felt the wind being knocked out of her and was momentarily lightheaded. She remembered exactly what had happened that morning.

She had woken up to kisses being trailed along her neck, up to her mouth and breasts. They were hot and wet against her skin, and she remembered his voice. It had been hoarse as he'd laughed and spoke softly, _"Finally. Merry Christmas."_

It was a Merry Christmas indeed. Claire wasn't really sure what time it was, but it couldn't have been that late, the sun was barely coming out outside. She could feel something hard against her thigh, which had immediately woken her right up. And the next two hours had gone by rather quickly, as she was in a daze of unbelievable pleasure...

It was hard to believe, but that morning had gone even better than the night before. She had to wonder if it would just get better every time that they did it.

"So, what do you think?" He whispered, bringing her back from her daydream world.

Claire blinked her eyes, "We have to go to he Mansion, Peter. It's Christmas- there's going to be a dinner-"

Peter cut her off and looked her seductively, "We don't have to go." Then he lowered his voice, "We can just go back to the apartment instead."

What he was proposing was very temping- _very_, but it was still Christmas, and they had to at least stop by the Mansion to drop off some presents- separately of course.

"That should be enough for me to run some tests on," commented Mohinder, making his way back into the room.

Peter glanced up and smiled at him, "So, we're good to go?"

"It is Christmas. I wouldn't want to keep you."

Without saying anything else, Peter jumped up, "Thanks! Bye!" He sprinted towards the door.

Claire rolled her eyes and turned to Mohinder, "When should we come back to see what the results are?"

Mohinder moved his arms up and down animatedly, like he was weighing something on a scale, "Give or take a week? That should give me enough time to study it, and really let you know what's going on in his DNA."

She heard her name being called from the outside of the front door and she sighed, looking at the door then back at Mohinder, "Thanks, Mo, I know you don't have to do this, so thank you."

He just shook his head and smiled, "We're old friends, Claire. It's my pleasure. And considering the work that they're having me do for the Company, this is something I _enjoy_ doing."

When her cell phone announced she had a text, she didn't have to look at the screen to see who it was. It was obvious that the person on the other side of Mohinder's door was no where near being patient, and she rolled her eyes.

...

The car ride over to the mansion was quiet.

That didn't mean, though, that there wasn't any interaction between them, they just didn't talk. It was sort of difficult for Claire to say anything when she was straddling Peter's lap and they were kissing furiously.

Peter's hands traveled throughout her body, making her moan into their kiss and buck at his touch. Claire let her hands travel towards his zipper and let her fingers start fumbling with it, but Peter chuckled and stopped her. He brought her hands to the side, "Claire, we're here. But, in all fairness, I _did _tell you we should have gone back to the apartment instead."

Claire scowled at him and got off of his lap, "You're evil." Slow hard kisses went through her neck and Claire shivered. She tried to free herself from his touches, but he only tightened his grip on her and pulled her in close for a last kiss on her collarbone.

When he let go to open the door, he gave her a sloppy smile and held her hand as they got out of the car. The entrance to the Petrelli mansion always managed to make Claire feel overwhelmed, not in a bad way- in a way that she hadn't felt since she'd lived with her adoptive parents in Odessa. She knew that years ago, when she had been younger, she'd resented living with the Petrelli's, and that the only reason she'd really done it had been to be closer to Peter, but now- it was the closest thing to a family that she had.

Which was why, as they stepped into the house, she immediately felt the guilt crawl on her back, like some type of mist that she couldn't get away from.

Before Peter let go of her hand, he pulled her close and bent down to whisper into her ear, "Let's make this fast, ok? We need to get back to the apartment, it's important."

She pulled her hand away rather harshly and rolled her eyes at him, muttering, "What? Do you have to leave to go to work?"

As Peter was going to answer, Angela walked into the foyer and gave a look to Peter, then moved on to Claire to take her into a hug, "Merry Christmas. The rest of the family are already in the living room, I'm just going to get some last minute things."

Claire wanted to shake off the complete disregard that Angela's had for Peter's presence, but she couldn't, because it shook her to the very core. The fact that any mother was able to show such..._lack of emotion_ to seeing her son, stunned Claire. Yet, when she looked up at Peter, it was like he mirrored Angela's feelings. But Claire was willing to bet that he was just putting on a face for her- that maybe- he didn't want her to see that, yeah, it bothered him too. Because, honestly, how couldn't it?

He swallowed and smiled down at her, "Ready?" She gave him a numb nod, and both walked towards the mayhem of Christmas morning at the Petrelli mansion.

The boys were by the tree opening mountains of presents, while both Heidi and Nathan sat on a love seat with a pile of their own, looking towards the boys with delight at their own excitement.

It all really stunned Claire. The whole scenery was something out of a Christmas magazine, like the epitome of what a Christmas morning of an All American family should look like, and it also- as much as it pained her to admit, reminded her of what Christmas had been like in Odessa.

Nathan was the first to look up and immediately went straight to her for a hug. It was strange how...natural it felt, how she felt as if he was finally her dad- it scared her. Before, she'd felt a familial feeling towards him and got along with him-but this was different. It felt nice too, to feel like she was getting a family back, something she'd lacked for years with only Andy as a substitute.

"I'm so glad you're here! We need your opinion on something- Merry Christmas, Pete," he said vaguely, pulling her towards the couch where he had been seated only moments before.

There were two head shots of Nathan in front of her. She looked up at him, confused, but he spoke before she had a chance to say anything, "I need to choose which one I'm going to use for my campaign for presidency."

"You're really going through with it?" asked Peter at her side, in a semi comical tone.

Nathan looked abashed by his doubt, and frowned a bit, "Of course. Why wouldn't I? Which reminds me, I need to speak to _you_. Lets go to the study."

Peter frowned but followed Nathan, shoving his hands inside his pocket as if it were some type of survival tactic that he used, or as if it gave him comfort of some sort.

"Did you just wake up, Claire? Your hair looks a bit disheveled," Heidi asked from where she was seated.

Claire snapped her head back to look at her stepmother. She was really beautiful, it was no wonder to her why Nathan had chosen her over Meredith. Meredith had been hot, Claire could see that, but she was just a Marilyn Monroe, while Heidi was a Jackie Kennedy. Of course Nathan would choose classic beauty over a sex symbol.

It left Claire wondering though, would Peter do the same thing at the end of the day?

What they had going on- it was nice- she liked it, but would he eventually leave her for his own Jackie? Claire shook her head and swallowed, shaking the thought out of her head, "Um, yes."

Heidi smiled more kindly at her, "It's good to see that you and Peter are finally getting along. He's really needed someone to connect to, I'm glad he has you."

"What about you guys? What have you been doing all this time? Watching him deteriorate in front of your eyes, and not bothering to help him at all? You treat him as if he's not even part of the family. How can you all just sit here in your mansion, thinking everything is fine, when you see what he's going through? None of you have _really_ tried. Maybe if you'd just treated him differently none of it would have ever happened." She snapped.

The whole room had gone silent, for the exception of Christmas music on their stereo.

Even the boys had stopped opening presents to listen to Claire as she'd ranted on about their attitude towards Peter.

Never did Heidi lose her temper, or interrupt Claire. She only sat still, facing her, and took in all the accusations that she was making, "You're right, perhaps we haven't helped the right way. But, its obvious to see that you've managed to help in a few months, more than we have in years. Thank you, Claire."

Angela chose that moment to walk back into the living room. Claire's anger and frustration flared, she was probably the one to blame the most. The way she ignored Peter was just so...un-motherly. It wasn't natural for parents to act like that towards their children. Even before, when she had been slightly sinister in letting him blow up New York City, she'd still at least spoke to him, and hugged him. Now though, none of them did that, she didn't even _speak_ to him.

"This is for you, Claire. As soon as I saw them, I knew you'd have to have them," Angela said, as she handed Claire a small, green box.

She started unwrapping it and saw that it was a tiny jewelry box. Inside were a set of earrings. They were emerald, intricately shaped to resemble some type of beautiful star- not a normal shape by any means, it was more than that- it was simply indescribable how beautiful the earrings were.

The tone of the earrings complimented her slightly Texan bronzed skin tone as she laid them in her palms, admiring the beauty of them, "Wow, thank you, Angela, but you really shouldn't have."

Claire looked up to Angela, who had a sincere, kind smile on her face, "It's Christmas, and you're my only granddaughter. I had to."

It was touching that Angela's familiarity with her had grown. It made her feel at home, but she still couldn't shake off the feeling that it didn't feel right, when they didn't feel the same way for Peter. Peter, who was the most selfless, caring, and goodhearted person in the whole family- or at least had been once.

Both Peter and Nathan walked back in at that moment. Peter still had the look as if he didn't fit in, and Nathan looked a bit more at ease. They were quiet for a few seconds, before Peter smiled, looking at his watch and muttering, "I- have to go-I have a job. Merry Christmas."

He didn't look at anyone in particular as he started walking away. Claire didn't know what to say, either. Should she leave with him? Say that she wanted to tag along? Would it look suspicious? The uneasiness of him being alone started crawling back inside her, but she couldn't say anything. Instead, she watched as he left, and then she turned her full attention to Nathan, "What did you say to him?"

"Don't worry about it, Claire, it's between Peter and I. Besides, Andy is on his way, you guys should talk," Nathan winked at her and smiled, turning his attention to the boys, who'd just opened their new Nintendo Wii.

The combination of the old grandfather clock adorned at the end of the room with the stares of both Heidi and Angela, along with the boys laughing and yelling for some reason overwhelmed Claire. Was this what Christmas was supposed to be about? Shouldn't she have really run after Peter?

At the same time, what she had around her was what she wanted. She wanted to be with her family at Christmas, she wanted Nathan's acceptance, but she didn't want to see Andy...at least not yet. She had to admit, their lifestyle and kindness was alluring, it really did make her want to stay there, but the other side registered that Peter was off wandering all alone...

Claire shook her head with her eyes closed, "I have to go. Thank you, Angela, but I have to go- I don't want to see Andy." She grabbed her purse and started walking away before anyone could say anything else.

Outside, the air was cold, but Claire didn't care, she only needed to find Peter. But of course, he was waiting at the bottom of the steps with some type of smug smile, a cab already waiting for them. He motioned for her to get in first and she did, sighing, all at once feeling better at the sight of him.

When they were both inside the confines of the warm cab, he gingerly put his arm around her shoulder and brought her close to him, so that she could lay her head on his shoulder.

She soaked in his perfect scent of cigarettes and expensive cologne. It ran into her nostrils and made her slightly dizzy, in a good way.

It was sweet, she thought to herself. It was comfortable knowing they didn't have to say anything to each other to know everything was ok. Just being alone and in each others arms was enough. But there was other stuff that Claire knew they still had to talk about- things that were pending.

"Have you had breakfast?" she mumbled against him, as his fingertips grazed over hers.

She felt his body inhale against her and then exhale, "Nope."

Claire sat up straight, much to her dislike and looked at him seriously, "Peter, you need to eat more. Look at you, you need some meat on you. I want you to have a six pack this summer. And- the smoking thing is so totally overrated."

He cocked one of his eyebrows up, "_So totally_? You're cute, you know that?" He smiled crookedly and kissed her nose- but not really paying attention to what she had said.

"_Peter,_" she whined. It surprised her that he laughed more and kissed her forehead, "You're not listening to me! I want you to gain weight. I want you to stop smoking, and I demand that you tell me what you and Nathan talked about back at the mansion."

The cab stopped and Claire looked up to see that they had made it back to his apartment.

He looked at her with a hesitant smile, "We'll talk about this upstairs, ok?"

She crossed her arms and nodded, feeling a little childish.

...

Claire didn't know exactly why, but she'd had the feeling that all that Peter would have on his mind once they got through the door was-well, her. But to her complete astonishment, he seemed a little- distracted or, more accurately, nervous. He had quickly gone to the room and shut the door, locking her out, and had come out minutes later with his still- scared look.

The first thing that came to her mind was that he had taken something and it enraged her, because he'd promised that it wouldn't happen again. But something told her that wasn't it, his look wasn't the same as when he had taken drugs- he looked more afraid of rejection of some sort.

Or was he preparing her for some type of heart break? Claire slumped down on the couch, afraid for herself then. Of course he'd get tired of her, she was just some ordinary young, blonde, college student. What was she, when he was around gorgeous supermodels all the time? She wanted to smack herself for not seeing it earlier. It was like that song by Sia, Butterflies. It was what she felt then, and they weren't good butterflies, they were the ones that made her nauseous and scared.

The thought of having to leave him and not feel him around her was horrible. It was like he was her warmth, and she wouldn't be able to really function without him anymore. He was her drug, and whether it be bad or good, she didn't want to be without him.

He stopped in front of her and fell to his knees, looking into her eyes, still holding that hesitant glare to them- like he didn't want her to see what was really going on inside of him.

It took him a few breaths, and still he couldn't get his breathing under control, but he looked at her, "Claire- I love you."

That was it, she told herself. It was over, and the irrevocable love that he was supposed to have for her in return had vanished into thin air, with no trace of it ever being found again.

She knew there was a 'but' coming, and preparing herself was the only thing that really made sense at that point.

Still, he didn't say anything, just looked at her as if words couldn't escape his mouth, as if he couldn't speak anymore. So she did it for him, she swallowed and looked at him, preparing herself, "But?"

She couldn't help but let her chin tremble and frown to stop herself from crying.

"Claire, no. There's no but-I just- I need you to know that I love you, and I want you to do what makes you happy before I continue, ok?"

A frown spread on her forehead as she stared into his beautiful hazel eyes that had specs of green to them. They were like no other eyes she'd ever seen, and the thought of not being able to stare into them was horrible. She nodded to let him continue.

He licked his lips and searched her face before continuing, "Marry me."

At once, her heart stopped and the room became unfocused. The words he'd let out ran around her like a chant, completely unexpected and foreign to her everyday vocabulary, because from everything she had pictured in her head of him saying- that was certainly not it.

Not once had the thought of him proposing to her entered her mind, in a way it was absolutely absurd. Was it even legal? No one for the exception of Adam even knew that they were dating. How would Nathan even respond to an engagement- how would Angela respond to it?

It was impossible. She couldn't marry Peter, not when there were so many obstacles they had to get through still. Not when she still had lingering feelings for Andy, but most of all, she knew that if she married Peter, then she'd lose another family, because in no way would the Petrelli's allow it. If she chose to marry Peter, to accept his engagement, it would mean losing them.

But looking at his face made her realize that nothing was impossible, the only thing that was impossible was for her to picture her life without him now. And if it meant that she had to sacrifice her family again, that she had to let go of every single person in her life to just have him- It was worth it.

So with a subtle smile and the slightest shivering of her body, which had goose-bumps then, she nodded her head.

Immediately, the worry that had been etched on Peter's face faded. He cupped her face, and kissed her softly yet urgently, because they both needed it. It was like the seal to the deal. He separated himself a little, and Claire could see his face was torn, "I just don't want to lose you, Claire. I need you, I want you for the rest of my life."

"Forever," she added. Because there was no way she would be satisfied with a human life. She was like Adam, and Peter would get his powers back. They would live forever, she wanted him forever.

Claire wasn't sure what took over her, but she pushed him onto the floor and straddled him, kissing him with more urgency and passion than before. Her need was different then, it was more animalistic than anything else.

Beneath her, Peter laughed into their kiss and Claire wrinkled her nose, "What's so funny?"

He shrugged, "I just realized you're finally going to have to pick out what to wear yourself."


	27. Peter's Side: Limbo

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**elzangel**: I'm really good thanks! Hmm is he adopted? I dunno...

**everybodysmile: **lol why is everyone asking me to marry them lately? lol jk. It was unexpected I know, but don't worry. I have it all figured out :D

**pairegal21: **lol Peter is so NOT a bella lol

**elenwyn: **I know that, the whole engagement thing seems sudden, but don't worry ;) I have it all figured out :D

**faithfulwriter: **Peter can totally be a little kid sometimes lol But you're right, there could be something going on...

Thanks to everyone for reviewing!

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Thanks to Ellie for Beta-ing!!

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Peter's Side: Limbo

Insanity. Psychosis- maybe even a form of delirium was what had been going through me when I had asked Claire to marry me. I was more than shocked that she'd agreed to it as well. To be quite honest, I'd expected her to run out on me, completely freaked out.

But, I guess everything that had been building up within me and her for all these years, even before she had died, was what this had come to.

"You're what?" Adam had dropped his coffee on his pants, completely taken aback by my sudden news that _I _was spontaneously engaged.

I merrily smiled back and sipped my chai tea, "I'm getting married."

Apparently, it didn't really matter to him that the lower part of his body was covered in piercing hot fluid or that he was getting scarred. Then, of course, it was Adam. He simply kept his gaze on me as if I'd just confessed to a string of murders, "I don't understand..."

As the flight attendant passed by, she offered to help Adam clean up, but he shooed her away with his hand and turned his attention back to me, waiting for me to talk. I'd actually never seen someone so excited for something that I had to say, with the exception of Claire, of course.

"I asked Claire to marry me." I liked how effortlessly it rolled off my tongue- like it was the most natural, crazy thing in the world.

Adam sat back against his seat in thought. What was so hard to believe? He knew how strongly I felt about her. In fact, he was probably the only person in the world I had ever confided to about the way I felt for Claire. There had never been anyone else besides Elle that knew, and ever with her it was difficult to talk about that- she tended to get touchy about it.

Since he seemed to be in somewhat of a shocked mood, I sighed and looked out the window as we neared South Africa. Another job, another day in my monotonous life as a model. What really was there to look forward to anyway? The food was absolutely... uninviting, and there were hours of make up and hair to prepare.

The only thing that could've helped was Claire. But because the stupid semester had started again, she had to stay home and go to classes. I was happy that she was back in school, just because she was with me and I could probably support her better than Nathan or my Mother could didn't mean I wanted her to stop going to school. I knew it was important for her to get that experience. I just wished she could get it, but be with me at the same time- _all_ the time.

Next to me, Adam finally spoke, in a hushed yet harsh tone, "Are you crazy? Let's leave the fact that it's illegal aside for a second. Don't you think this is a little sudden? Have you put into thought what it may do to your family? How it would tear it apart? Or what it could do to your sex appeal marketability?"

I couldn't help at scoff at the ridiculous defense he was making as to why it was a bad idea, "You more than anyone else know that the relationship with my family is already fucked, Adam. Do you really think my well being, or anything that I do matters to them anymore? All they care about is putting up a front for the press so that we won't look like a dysfunctional family."

As much as I desperately tried, and I really did- I couldn't push away all the hurt. I almost always did. I could ignore it completely at times, pretend that I didn't have a family and that all I had was me- but I guess that was also do with the fact that throughout those hazy days, I'd been heavily dependent on drugs. Now, things were clearer, and all types of feelings had started making their way back to me. Everything I felt was more potent. I could literally feel everything.

"I'm not talking about your relationship with them, Peter. I'm talking about the one that Claire has started to form with her father. Don't you think it would crush her that he wouldn't be able to attend? That he can't be there to give her away?"

I brought my lips to the rim of my glass and drank a little, "He can come if he wants to, I have no problem telling him. I'd never want to keep Claire from her happiness. Besides, if it really bothered her, she would have mentioned something by now."

It was true. I knew Claire, she told me everything, just as I was starting to try and be as honest with her. It was tough, that was true- I'd never had to be brutally honest with anyone before.

But I heard Adam scoff and roll his eyes at me, "You think Claire is going to tell you if she's miserable? Of course not. All her free time she's thinking about you and how she can make sure _you _are ok. She doesn't worry about herself at all. You can't see it physically because, of course, the whole regeneration thing, but I can see it. You're not taking care of her either, are you?"

I wasn't. He was right, but I wasn't about to admit it. Could being with me truly be making Claire miserable? Why wouldn't she say anything? Did my well-being really matter that much to her?

When I didn't say anything, he sighed, "You haven't even stopped to think about what your situation is doing to her, have you?"

Why couldn't he just shut up then? It wasn't even any of his business what went on with Claire and I anyway. I didn't need him adding his snide commentary to our relationship,

"I've given her what she wants," I mumbled, completely lacking any emotion in my voice at all.

"You think simply being off of drugs is what she wants? Women aren't that simple, Peter. I've been around for _three hundred years_, and not even I completely understand the complexity of a woman."

Usually, I was really calm. Nothing ever seemed to push me over the edge to the point where I got furious. But of course it was bound to be Adam who upset me. I sighed, letting my nose flare and looked out of the airplane window. I wasn't going to talk back because, if I did, I doubt I'd be able to control myself, or even stop.

What I did do though was take my remaining tea and delicately turned it over, so that the steaming liquid fell on his pants again.

...

"And where do you even plan on getting married? It's pretty much impossible to find a place that will let you marry your niece," Raged on Adam.

It was a week later, in Milan, but he was still going on about how what we were doing wasn't right. How I was being completely selfish with her in wanting to marry her. It wasn't like that at all, I wanted her to myself because I loved her. What was so wrong about that? And when you loved someone the way I loved Claire, wasn't the next step eternal commitment?

"You know, I was hoping you'd be just a little more supportive. You're the only person I've told, Adam- I thought-we were friends," I mumbled, hoping it would bring guilt to him and, for once, make him shut up.

Never would I openly admit it, but he was the closest thing to a friend I had. I didn't have anyone else to talk to.

"It's _precisely_ because we're friends that I'm telling you to reconsider this. Take some more time, get to know each other better. I don't know? Try dating other people, perhaps."

At that, I scoffed. The prospect of dating other people was- well there was no prospect, because it wasn't even a possibility. You weren't supposed to reconsider things when you had a soul mate that completed you.

When I didn't say anything, he kept talking, "Don't you think Claire is just a tad bit too green for marriage? For God's sake, Peter, she's only twenty-one."

"Australia doesn't have a law prohibiting uncles marrying their nieces. I was thinking we could do it down there. And spend our honeymoon there too."

Adam looked at me blankly, "You are insane, Peter. Completely and utterly insane."

I winced as the hair stylist pulled on my bangs. I hated people touching my hair, it was one of the things I was actually sensitive about these days. I don't know how I hadn't noticed before, how much it hurt when they carelessly combed through your hair. She kept pulling on it with no consideration, as if trying to give me a Mohawk. Which, of course baffled me, because the only person who could effectively pull one off was Maddox Jolie-Pitt, or Travis Parker.

Mohawks simply looked silly on me- I'd tried one in high school, it hadn't worked out. I looked like that Porcupine from the Sega video I'd had when I was a kid, Sonic.

It was when I looked at myself in the mirror that I turned back to the stylist, "You know I look completely ridiculous, right?"

...

I didn't mind the way Claire use to look at me when she was sixteen. It was fine, and I guess the fact that I secretly had a huge crush on her helped. But I couldn't get over the way that Molly looked at me. It was like she wanted to devour me, as if I was food or something. It sort of creeped me out too, that she was only sixteen and I had just turned thirty.

Also, the fact that Claire didn't notice bothered me too. I wanted to feel protected and have her glare at the sixteen-year-old girl that was probably undressing me with her eyes.

All Claire did was watch Mohinder as he gathered papers from his desk. He too was completely oblivious to the fact that I was being eye-raped.

"This is bad," Mohinder whispered the words from where he was standing, as if he was terrified.

Claire and I exchanged a look, then we both turned our heads to look at him.

"What's so bad about it?" she asked.

Mohinder turned around and sighed, "You genetic coding...it's normal, Peter."

"And what's so bad about that?" I still didn't get what he was trying to say. How was me being normal so bad? I didn't get what the problem was.

"That it's _normal_." His arms moved in an animated way around him. He actually looked quite amusing, but for some reason I thought that laughing at that moment wouldn't have been in my best interest, "It means that whatever The Company gave you did its job.

It's turned you completely normal, without any trace of the Meta human code that the rest carry- the one that _you_ once carried."

Across from me, Molly Walker was still smiling and biting her lip down hard. I didn't have to have my powers to know exactly what she was thinking. It was pretty obvious by the look on her face. The fact that no one else around me was noticing her was also highly troublesome, or maybe they did see it; they were just trying to ignore her?

I felt my head nodding at Mohinder, "Well, that's a bummer."

Mohinder put his hand up and I stopped, while he let a little smile grow on his face.

Sometimes not being able to read minds was-well- annoying. And lately, around Claire- lacking my powers, I felt useless. It was a weird feeling, because I'd grown accustomed to my life. But with her in it and all the changes she had made- I was craving more of something. As to what that something was, I wasn't really sure.

"I do have a theory- or I suppose we could call it an 'experiment' of some sort, that I'd like to try on you, Peter." It was easy to see that he was nervous about presenting his so-called experiment to me. He probably thought I'd reject it, which I would, of course- I didn't want to be someone's lab rat.

But just as I was about to speak and tell him I was perfectly content the way I was, Claire spoke up, "And what is it?"

"Well...I've been thinking, Claire. Your blood worked to bring your father back to life after he I shot him in the eye- again I do apologize- but I just wonder what else your blood can do. Imagine Peter being injected with your blood daily- I think it's more than probable that he could regain his abilities. Of course this is all just a theory-"

Claire interrupted him, "He'll do it."

I snapped my head and turned to look at her, "No way! I am not going to stab myself everyday with your blood. I _do not _do needles." I shook my head again and crossed my arms, feeling a little insecure, knowing Mohinder probably had mountains of needles waiting around to stab my arms, "There has to be another way."

"This is the only option we have. If you want your abilities back, you're going to have to trust me."

Within a second, I was up from the couch and shrugged my shoulders, "Then I don't want them back." I turned towards the door, but felt Claire grab my hand and pull me back instantly. Her strength surprised me. Then again, when she was pissed off, you really didn't know what to expect from her.

"You're going to do this, Peter," she gritted at me through her clenched teeth.

Yeah, I was pretty fucked.

...

I had to admit, after the first two weeks of having Mohinder stab a needle into my arm full of Claire's blood- I was starting to get used to the pain. I'd even been afraid of the fact that I would have hundreds of little scars left on my forearms, but of course- it was Claire's blood, and as soon as the needle was pulled out, any scarring was immediately fixed by her blood. That didn't mean that, under any circumstances, I could watch as the red fluid went into my arm- I still found that quite abnormal.

With my eyes shut, I turned over to her and murmured, "You don't mind being stabbed at and getting blood taken away from you?"

I couldn't see her, but I could feel that she was smiling, "Are you kidding? No way, and just think, Peter! Pretty soon, you're going to have all your powers back!"

"I _might_ get them back, Claire. This isn't for sure, right, Mo?"

He extracted the needle from my arm and I pulled it up towards me, clutching it and wincing a little. I did very bad with pain. Honestly, I wanted either to get my powers back immediately, or just have them see that this wasn't going to work so that we could forget all about stabbing me with blood-filled needles.

"Yes, it might or might not work. Either way, Claire's blood is doing you good, Peter. Or have you not noticed the weight you've gained from it?"

Actually, I had. Well, Adam had been the first to notice of course. As soon as I had pulled my shirt off to change, he'd commented on how I looked healthier, more 'toned'. I told him it was thanks to Claire, which it literally was. But I hadn't gone into specifics.

Instead I'd shrugged it off and said thanks afterwards. But he'd still looked at me like I was a freak of nature or something. I didn't get what was so surprising of me looking healthier. Of course it had been bound to happen, especially with Claire by my side. It was pretty obvious that she wasn't just going to sit there and not doing anything about my less than healthy lifestyle.

I pulled my shirt sleeve down and started buttoning my sleeve, turning to look at Mohinder, "Anything else? Or am I free to go?"

The truth was, not only did I want to get away from his hormone-crazed sixteen-year-old, I wanted to take Claire shopping. And not just for clothes or anything, I had something else much more exciting planned. But of course, that was a surprise- especially not one that I wanted to say in front of Mohinder and Molly.

Mohinder smiled kindly at me as he gathered up the medical supply he had used, "That's all for today." I didn't have to be told twice. I grabbed Claire's hand and pulled us out of his apartment.

...

I'd thought about many way as to how to approach her about an engagement ring. Of course, I either wanted it to be Tiffany's or Cartier. But I suppose I thought it was simply a thing she had to pick out, instead of me. After all, she was going to have to wear it for the rest of her life.

"So, enlighten me, why are we here?" For someone who was extremely smart and clever, it surprised me that she didn't know what we were doing in front of Tiffany's.

I looked over to her. The cold Manhattan wind was blowing through her hair so that it flew past her and made her look breathtaking. Actually, everything about her was

breathtaking that sometimes I just couldn't help at stare at her. It also didn't help that she smelled so good, like orchids.

Everything about her at that moment distracted me. Even the way that she moved her plump lips, which had very little cherry lip-gloss on them, or her gray eyes that I felt were reading me.

"Peter?"

That was another thing, her voice. To say that she was absolutely the most divine thing on earth wasn't a lie. I just couldn't find a flaw in her. She was, without a doubt, the most precious thing I'd been fortunate enough to have in my life.

I figured by the way she was looking at me though, that the same thoughts were definitely not going through her head. So I swallowed and frowned a little, "Yeah?"

Even when she rolled her eyes at me, slightly annoyed, she was hot, "I asked you, what are we doing _here_?"

I don't know why, but I had the urge to kiss her right there, in public. So I did, I pulled her head to mine and just devoured her lips, letting them mold perfectly to my own. I didn't even care that there were probably twenty or more paparazzi hanging around and snapping pictures of us. All I really cared about was having her close to me; like it was supposed to be.

"We're getting your engagement ring, silly, what did you think we were doing?"

Now, I knew that Claire wasn't into fancy things, or designer clothes and didn't really have a thing for jewelry. But I had hoped that the idea of getting her engagement ring would bring some type of smile to her face. I mean, I guess if I was a girl I would have been happy, so why not her?

No. My Claire was frightened and looked like someone had just given her some type of terrible news. It kind of irked me because I had really been looking forward to watching her pick out the ring that would tell the world she was mine and mine alone.

"This isn't necessary, Peter. I don't need an engagement ring," she let out in one breath rather quickly, looking towards the store, then back at me, nervously.

I scoffed and pulled her hand as we started walking inside the store, "Of course you do.

Every guy is supposed to give their fiancée a beautiful engagement ring, Claire, and you're no exception."

A blush spread through her ivory cheeks, and I knew I'd won her over.

...

In the end, I don't know why, but I wasn't surprised by the ring that Claire had picked out.

It was a white gold band with one single traditionally shaped diamond resting on top of the band. It was so simple- a very Claire ring. Either way, it wasn't like I could picture her in an overly glamorous ring.

The way she looked at it adoringly made me happy. I loved the fact that she was wearing a ring that branded her as mine and mine only. It drove me crazy with some passion I couldn't pin point, until I started kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear. That's when I knew what it was that I was feeling.

An incredible craving for her was what I had. And it couldn't wait either. I needed her there and then, like I never had before. It was mind blowing how I got these feelings for her the past couple of weeks, as if I were some hormone crazed teenager having sex for the first time. I just wanted her _so_ bad.

I was lucky that she didn't object too. If anything, I think I excited her just as much as I got excited when I touched her or kissed her. If it were up to me, I'd lock her down on the bed and never remove her- she could even tie me down for all I cared. As long as we never left the bed, I'd be a content man for the rest of my life and die with a grin on my face.

"What's gotten-into-you?" she asked me through the small pauses of kisses I was giving her, as I started discarding her clothes on the floor of the limo. I was really thankful for noise proof glass at that moment, and that the driver couldn't see into the back where I was busy trying my best to undress my fiancée.

I laughed when I heard her gasp at the kiss I gave her breast, continuing to her panties, and helped her as we threw them to the side, "I have no idea. I just want you so much."

My own pants were already on the floor as I pulled her onto my lap and directly on top of me, feeling relief as soon as I entered her. With my eyes closed and my head resting back, I helped her rock up and down, with my hands enveloping her waist. It was amazing how she felt the same every time.

But this time it was like something was different. It was as if all my senses were sharper and there. Like I was experiencing everything that was happening in a higher-way. I didn't know how to explain it, only that it felt new and even better, if _that_ was possible.

Before, it was great-even amazing, how sex with Claire was, but I wasn't all there, I couldn't feel or enjoy it completely. Or maybe, it was just that it had been normal, and since I was normal, that was all I could feel.

Now though, I felt myself glowing with warmth as she tightened around me and pushed her hips further down on to me. For a second I looked down at my hand- for a mere second it was lighter...then what I saw wasn't my hand at all, but the leather seat underneath it.


	28. XXIV

**elzangel:** I couldn't wait for him to get his powers back either!! Thanks for reviewing! :D

**faithfulwriter:** lol I hope you like this chapter too, thanks for reviewing :D

**McSteamyFan1980**: I'm glad you're hooked! Enjoy the next chapter :D

**elenwyn: **Ellie thanks for reviewing! hehe i'm pretty evil aren't I? lol Thanks for beta-ing!

**everybodysmile: **LOL romance & sex- what's paire without that? Thanks for reading!

**bibsy: **Your wish is my command, enjoy the next part :D  
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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XXIV

_What is happiness?_

That was the first question on Claire's handout as her English professor gave the worksheet out. It was her second semester at NYU and, much to her dismay, the clueless sorority girls had made their way into her Physiology class. One semester had been torture enough; she couldn't even imagine what a second one would be like.

She sighed and tried to summarize what happiness meant to her. The more she thought about it though, the more she figured that happiness just wasn't that simple. To define happiness, someone had to be in true bliss, and as much as she wanted other people to conceive that she was in the most incredible state of happiness that she had ever been in her whole life, it just wasn't that easy to lie to herself.

It didn't really make sense, because, yeah, Peter was healthy and they were happy- they were even engaged. That there should have made butterflies of euphoria ignite within her alone, but it didn't. There was something that kept bothering her and, unfortunately, she knew just what it was too.

The thought that she was completely done with Andy left an after taste in her mouth that she didn't like. For four years Andy had been her sole importance, the most significant thing in her life, and to just throw away the bondage they'd had truly made her stomach turn with an uncomfortable pain.

Claire put the paper away and grabbed her bag as the Professor started dismissing them. She was thankful that that particular day they didn't have to stay for the full two hours.

And though she'd only been inside the classroom for twenty five minutes as the instructor had discussed what the handout would be about, Claire couldn't help at feel she was going to have a problem staying awake through the entire lecture.

It helped that the sun had decided to make itself present so that she had to squint a little from the brightness that it brought. She was also relieved that with her classes over, she was free to make her way back to Peter's apartment, where she could go back to sleep peacefully.

Usually, the thought of Peter being away troubled her. She hated when he had to travel and she was left alone, unsure of whether he was ok or not, but lately, with all his demanding arousals, a break from him was rather nice. Especially since when he was at home they rarely left the bed- or wherever it was that he decided to pounce on her.

_Not_ that him pouncing her was unpleasant in the least- she just needed a breather from his abnormal desire for her. Actually, it amused her just how the tables had turned. It seemed like only yesterday to her that he had been the one resisting her, and trying to do everything in his power to keep them from having sex- when now, it was impossible for him not to touch her.

"Claire," an unsteady voice rang behind her.

She had been so caught up in her own world, so completely immersed in day dreams about Peter and herself, that when she heard her name, by that voice- her heart skipped a beat.

No, it wasn't Peter- although, she did wish that his voice was the only one to ever make her swoon. No, it was, without a doubt, Andy. There was no one else in the world- besides Peter, who could say her name with such love and intensity that it made her heart stop and beat fast all at the same time.

As she turned around to look at him, it was easy to see the joy and heartbreak in his eyes at the same time. He was trying to hide it, he didn't want her to see that he suffered not having her anymore- and she did too; she loved him still.

Her mouth opened without any words to say and she stood there dumbly, admiring his golden hair and tanned complexion she loved so much about him. He had always been her sun, where as Peter was her moon. Always her moon, it wasn't just because of his position in her life- it was him. When she'd met him, he'd been her hero and savior, but in there was a part of him that had always been dark to begin with- a part that had been that way before her.

"Andy...what are you doing here?" her eyes never looked away, but instead studied the face she already knew by heart.

A smile spread throughout that face of serenity and love, and it made her stomach twist into knots all over again. It was a reminder of what she was giving up for her illicit desires.

Without asking her, or stopping to think- Andy wrapped his arms around Claire and lifted her up for a tight hug. A hug that seriously was a bit too much for her and the feelings surging throughout her body.

Thoughts and images she had long ago reserved for Peter formed in her head, but replaced Peter with Andy's face. The best part of it was that in the pictures she formed, Andy was smiling. His face wasn't stoic or forcibly happy like Peter's- no- he was sublimely ecstatic.

"Just because we broke up doesn't mean I'm going to go back to Odessa, Claire," He paused and let go of her, "Nope, I decided to stay. Besides..." his speech slowed down as he stared at a random guy passing by, "I like it here."

Claire raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "I'm not complaining that you're here, Andy, I'm ,just surprised."

He looked back at her and smiled, "That's really great, you know, because I should really be honest with you- now that we're going to be friends and all."

"Friends? I don't think I'd ever be able to be just friends with you."

Andy laughed and shook his head, taking her hand and leading her where cabs were eagerly waiting for students, "We have a lot to talk about."

...

Starbucks wasn't her ideal spot for them to talk. Well maybe it wouldn't have been before, when he would have, without a doubt, taken her to a romantic, Italian restaurant.

But now, with a platonic look in his eyes, it was pretty clear that this suited their whole situation best.

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Claire asked, sipping her hot Caramel Machiatto and savoring the combination of sweet caramel and the bitter coffee on her tongue.

The cup in Andy's hand twirled and he smiled nervously at her, "I've been- or well, I mean- I was- really selfish with you Claire."

She couldn't help it, Claire laughed. Selfish? Andy didn't have a selfish bone in him.

From the first day that she had met him, she'd been shocked by his selflessness and pure kindness that he'd shown her. Claire shook her head, "You are not selfish. If there's anyone who's selfish here, it's me, Andy."

"No. See that's my fault- that you think you're selfish when you're really not. _I'm_ selfish for having kept you so long. I just thought you'd be the angel sent from God to save me. And for a while I made myself believe that you had changed me."

"What are you talking about?" her frown made Andy laugh. But she didn't see what was so funny about the situation.

He took her hand and sighed, "Claire. Remember I used to call you my angel from God? Remember how I used to tease you that you were a present from Him to save me of my sins?"

She nodded- listening intently. "I- I swear to God the night before you appeared at the restaurant with your memory gone, I asked him to save me from going to Hell for my unholy thoughts-"

Claire pulled her hand away from his, "What the hell are you talking about? You're not making any sense!"

People around them turned to stare at her screaming, and some began to whisper- though Claire wondered if it was because of her antics, - or because she was the future President's daughter and niece of the world renowned supermodel. Either way, Andy was oblivious to their onlookers and giggled himself, only infuriating Claire even more- because of all his confusing confessions.

"You want to know why I needed you as a savior? Why it was that I kept you for so long- not daring to do more than kiss you- and never asking for your hand in marriage?"

There was a pause, one which was bringing the seriousness back into Andy's voice, and making him look frightened in a way that Claire had never seen him before.

"-I'm bi. I have been since before I can really remember. It's not something I obviously chose-"

At that moment her heart literally sopped. Andy-bi? The two words were completely foreign to each other. It was like trying to mix oil with water- Japanese gourmet with hot dogs- it just didn't make sense to her.

There was no way it was true, because the Andy she had fallen in love with had never approved of those things. He was against gay marriage. He'd even wanted to protest gay marriage when the thought of legalizing it in Texas had come up.

Claire took a deep breath to try and control her frantic, erratic breathing, before continuing, "You're bi?" Even as she said the words herself, it didn't sound right. It was alien and just not befitting to someone like the All American boy that was sitting across

from her.

Someone opened the door to the coffee shop, letting some much needed air in to clear the awkward mood that had overtaken their conversation. Andy inhaled some air and nodded, "I get if you're completely disgusted by it all. When I figured out what I was myself- I was. I really hated myself for a long time."

"Of course I'm not disgusted with you!" Claire hissed angrily at the mere thought of having those types of feelings towards Andy. To reassure him, she smiled and nodded her head, laughing a little, "It actually makes a lot of sense now."

They both laughed, and Andy raised an eyebrow in his innocently cute expression that she saw in a completely different way then, "Does it? I swear to you, Claire- I did try falling in love with you- I did. And I do love you- so much- but it's nothing more than platonic love."

"Do you think-" Andy paused- his voice quivering a bit, " Do you think we could be friends?"

Claire nodded, her head filling with warmth and joy- because she too understood her love for him now, "Always."

...

Things were right. Things were perfect and made absolute sense. No longer did she feel confusion about the two most important men in her life. It was ok now, and she understood the love of each perfectly and welcomed it with open arms.

Claire felt so content that she wrote her paper for class that same night, because she truly knew what contentment as- what happiness was all about. She could very well swim in the marvels of it and laugh in her lover's arms without worry that she was potentially in love with someone else. Her heart had but one true owner, and it was Peter. The very thought of him could make her lightheaded again, without guilt, because she knew that Andy was no longer suffering- she'd set him free.

The door to the front of the apartment opened, and in he walked. The love of her life- the model everyone obsessed over, and the guy who had saved her more times than she could remember. She already knew from their many days alone in his apartment- the look was of an insatiable want for her.

Peter closed the door behind him and rushed to her side, cupping her face in his hands and breathing his sweet breath on her, "I missed you." He whispered to her.

"You left this morning. How could you miss me so soon?" she giggled and bit her lip, as he gave her his dazzling crooked smile. Her stomach grumbled, but not loud enough for him to hear- but she didn't care- all she wanted was him at the moment, and only him.

He pulled away from her to look down at her stomach, "Are you hungry?"

Claire shook her head and forced his heated lips back on to hers, savoring the taste of them. Was it normal to desire someone so much, like she wanted him? Her want was absolutely crazy, and what was going through her mind only fueled the need for him.

A chuckle came from him as he pulled away and looked at her, "You're unbelievably desirable, Claire. I can hardly stand it myself." His fingers caressed her skin ever so lightly. But hearing his voice only made her want him even more that she couldn't help bucking her hips against his.

He moaned and dropped his head on the crook of her neck, sucking on her flushed skin and mumbling, "Claire, really- stop it, or I won't be able to stop _myself_."

"That's ok," she murmured, kissing his neck and running her hands through his hair.

For a moment, she thought he'd given in, because he didn't move. So she continued to work her hands from his hair, to his shirt, unbuttoning it swiftly because her want for him was growing with every second that passed by. But in the next moment, he surprised her by pulling away from her faster than she'd ever seen him move before.

He was up from the couch and smirking at her with his arms crossed and swollen, pink lips, "You're a tenacious little thing, and as much as I want to be your enabler right now- it's going to have to wait until later."

Claire scowled and crossed her arms, "What could possibly be more important to you than sex right now?"

With a shake of his head and a smirk on his lips, Peter walked to the counter top of the Island and grabbed a small rectangular box, bringing it back to where Claire was seated and handing it to her. The box read, '_La Vie En Rose_'. She frowned and looked up at him, "What's this?"

"It's the biopic of the great Edith Piaf. I think you'll enjoy it- plus it's required to read her biography in music history, so I thought watching a movie about her might be easier for you."

In a way, Claire was touched he'd even remembered that she was taking Music History, but at the same time- she couldn't help noting how he'd assumed that watching a biography would be easier to her than reading a book. Sure, she was blonde, but she wasn't ditsy.

Peter rolled his eyes in front of her, "You'll like it, ok? And- I'm not trying to insult you or anything."

With a small inclination of her head, Peter rushed to put it on and took a seat next to her, letting her rest her head against his chest to get comfortable. She loved his scent- she knew she thought about it every time he was near her or touched her, but she just couldn't help it.

So she closed her eyes and breathed him in- but as she did that, she heard him chuckle again and felt his chest moving against her.

"What's so funny?"

Peter wrinkled his nose, "You were sniffing me."

Before she could retort, the movie started, and Peter hushed her, nodding towards the movie for her to pay attention. For the first few minutes there was singing and it was sort of hard to understand what the lyrics were, but Claire just listened to the voice instead. That was- until she realized that the movie was entirely in a different language.

When she glanced up to look at Peter's face though, she didn't see confusion or incomprehension on his face. He seemed quite into the movie and unfazed that it was entirely in another language.

"Is this French?" she asked when she heard someone say the word 'Oui'. It was the only word she knew in French.

Peter snapped his eyes away from the screen, searching for the remote and fumbling with it, "Oh, shit! I completely forgot, I'm sorry. But see that little girl? Sitting on that piece of carton?" Peter asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Uh huh."

"That's the same lady that was singing earlier and collapsed on the stage. That's Edith Piaf as a little girl, and the lady singing on the corner is her mom. You haven't missed much."

Claire screwed up her face and shook it once, turning to Peter, "Wait- You can understand French?"

"Of course. Nathan can too. We both speak it fluently," He said with indifference, still watching the screen.

"That's so weird..."

As much as Claire wanted to keep pestering him about the new revelation, she had to admit that, with subtitles, the movie was quite interesting, and instead left the questions she'd had aside to let herself fall into the world of Edith Piaf.

There was so much pain and suffering for a little girl, that Claire snuggled closer to Peter, biting her lip, wanting to be in the movie to give the little girl a bath. She had a thing about being dirty- she couldn't take it, and didn't understand how they could be so careless and not give her a bath.

But the girl's mother reminded Claire so much of Meredith, and she felt immediate dislike for her. She was glad that Edith was left with her grandmother to tend for her and was almost immediately picked up by her father.

The movie continued, and Claire watched as she evolved from an abandoned, uncared for little girl to a Cabaret singer, until she became a star. She watched as she traveled the world and made it to New York City.

Where she fell instantly in love with Marcel.

The appeal was obvious. He was a fighter, just like Peter had been, he had black bangs- just like Peter- and their love was a secret affair. It was beautiful, magical, and Claire could feel the connection that they both shared. It made her want to hug Peter tighter because he was hers, like Marcel belonged to Edith.

Claire completely understood how she couldn't bear to be away from him too. It was completely rational of Edith to ask him to rush over to her. Waking up to see your lover's face was, without a doubt, the most magnificent thing in the world. Claire glanced up to Peter to sigh in contentment, imagining him caressing her face awake, like Marcel did to Edith.

But then he was gone and everyone was crying, while Edith walked around her house looking for his watch. Why was everyone crying? Why had Marcel disappeared? Then Claire read the text; the plane had crashed.

Her own heart dropped at Edith's heartache. The thought of losing Peter consumed her, and tears started falling down her face at the thought. She held on to him as if someone were trying to pull him away, because she'd never allow that to happen to him He wasn't ever going to leave her like Marcel left Edith, he couldn't.

Peter lifted her chin, tears streaming down her face, "Why are you crying, Claire? It's just a movie."

Claire sniffed, letting a tiny sob out and, though she tried to steady her breathing, her voice still cracked, "It's just- th-the thought of that happening to you!"

Peter smiled and kissed her wet lips and cheeks, "Oh, baby, I'm never leaving you."

She sniffled against him- her heart still in turmoil over the thought of him permanently gone- forever. "Promise?"

He nodded and kissed her again, more passionately that time, "I promise never-ever to leave you, Claire. I'm going to spend eternity with you."

Claire's grip around his torso didn't falter and she murmured against his lips, "You better."

--

The movie was over, yet the thought of separating herself from him was unbearable for Claire. So they simply stayed in that position, with her head resting on his chest and let him curl his fingers around her hair.

"What do you think about kids?" she ran her fingers through his delicately soft hair playfully.

He looked at her with slightly pursed lips and completely fixated eyes, fixed on her alone, "I can't fathom the idea of sharing you with anyone else, really."

She sighed, narrowing her eyes, and he expected to feel her wrath, but was surprised by what she said next instead, "Good. I feel the same way."

"We have a selfish love, Claire- but that's ok."

Her brow furrowed and she bit the bottom of her lip, with her head still on his chest, "Is it?"

He kissed her head and brought his arms tightly around her, "Of course it is. We would be terrible parents anyway, sneaking off for quickies and stuff-"

Claire hit him playfully, but it didn't stop her from forming a smile, "You're right. But- sometimes I think what we're doing to Angela and Nathan isn't fair. We keep to ourselves so much, I mean- what if they start guessing stuff?"

Peter scoffed, "They're oblivious as fuck, Claire. _Believe me_- I know, ok? Besides- if they found out- I'd pick you over them any day."

She nodded and closed her eyes, trusting him that things were going to be perfect.

They were getting married. Things were resolved with Andy, and she was more in love and in bliss than she had ever been before in her life. Things were going to be ok.

...

Claire had never been good at English, but she'd been in such bliss lately that she automatically thought she'd nailed the happiness assignment, only- she'd actually tanked it. When her Professor had returned the paper to her with a 67 on it, her heart had seriously tumbled.

But her new best friend had assured her that he'd be able to help, and had even offered to get together with her and help her on it.

Andy was a life saver. Never in her life had Claire thought she would have gone behind Peter's back to see Andy, but it was happening.

"Andy, you're the coolest!" She said over the phone**,** " I love you-" At that exact moment, Peter opened the front door of the apartment, grinning at her happily.

'_Shit, shit, shit_!' She thought, feeling her heart race and biting her lower lip. She gave him a small smile back then turned her back on him. There was no way that he'd know she was talking to Andy**,** right? She mentally scowled at Peter. Why had he chosen that exact moment to show up**,** right when she was talking to Andy on the phone?

Claire quietly whispered at what time they'd meet at the corner cafe and hung up, turning back to Peter, who's smile had long faded.

"What's up?" she asked nervously, hoping he hadn't noticed who she was talking to.

Claire hoped he'd leave soon**;** she had to go see Andy and with Peter around- she knew he wouldn't be ok with that. The right thing to do would have probably been to tell him the truth- that she'd been seeing Andy secretly, but she knew it was too late for that.

Besides, it wasn't like it was a big deal. She noticed him frown a bit, "Nothing-it's...fine," he muttered quietly.

"What were you smiling about when you came through the door then?" she asked, all the while hoping he'd turn around and walk out the door. But**,** still, she formed a smile and waited for him to answer.

He swallowed and looked at her, rather shocked, then frowned again and shook his head, "It was-nothing. I-...I have to go. That's what I was going to tell you. Adam booked this last minute thing in Barcelona..."

"Oh, do you want me to go with you?" She asked, hoping he'd say no.

Peter looked away from her, breathing in and giving her a tiny smile, "No. It's just- a thing. Besides, you still have school-But I have to go."

Slowly, he walked up to her and cupped her face with his hands delicately, but Claire felt them shake. Something was wrong, she could sense it from his eyes and his body**;** something was terribly wrong. But she pushed that thought away as he gave her a hard and passionate kiss, before pulling away and turning back towards the door to leave.

When he had opened it, he stalled, his back was facing her**,** "Claire?" His voice was breathy and soft.

"Yes?"

She saw him inhale and heard him exhale deeply, "-I love you." and with that, he shut the door behind him.


	29. XXV

* * *

Ballad Of Big Nothing

Part XXV

Days in which Peter was gone seemed to pass rather quickly for Claire. It wasn't that she didn't miss him, or didn't want him there at all, it was actually the contrary, she missed him very much. It was just that she had Andy to distract her now. Claire couldn't believe how long she'd gone without him to make her laugh or say incredibly sweet things.

But, now, it was more obvious than ever how incredibly- gay he was. He was perfect- and there were no perfect men, even Peter had his flaws, which was why she couldn't believe she'd never seen it before.

And when he stared at random, hot guys passing by, Claire couldn't help but giggle. To other girls, finding out that their ex-boyfriend of four years was gay and checked guys out would have probably been extremely awkward- but, things weren't normal with her either. So watching Andy stare with desire at guys that passed by their table amused Claire more than anything.

"Oh- he's hot," whispered Andy at a certain brunette that passed by. Claire admitted he was, quite, but no Peter. The brunette had a deep tan, muscles, and a perfect complexion too. He actually reminded her of Jesse Metcalf, who had too much of a perfect face. It was like overly sweet coffee or eating too much candy to the point where she wanted to barf.

Claire shook her head and tilted it, analyzing the guy, "I don't think so...he's too- perfect- so _generic_." She twisted the ring on her finger, _'So not Peter.'_

Andy noticed the white gold band she wore and frowned, immense shock spreading through his face. He immediately reached out and took her hand, gawking at the simple-yet beautiful ring on her finger, "What's this?"

It was pretty obvious to the both of them what it stood for, what it was for and why Claire was wearing it. But, of course, it was all about being tactful. Besides, she couldn't really tell him about Peter-or could she?

She swallowed and took a deep breath, "Yeah- I should have told you...surprise, I'm engaged?"

"Engaged? To your mystery boyfriend? Who is it? You know, friends don't keep secrets from each other, Claire- I was honest with you," Andy pointed out. It was true, he had been honest with her, and she owed him the same courtesy, but it just wasn't that simple.

Claire sighed, "I can't really tell you, Andy. It's-complicated."

Of course, complicated wasn't the right word to define exactly why Andy couldn't know that her fiancée was Peter. Words like; incest, wrong, immoral, illegal- also sprung around in her mind. Plus the fact that he would most likely run out of the coffee shop screaming, also didn't help the cause.

"Claire, whatever it is- you can tell me. Besides, it can't be worse than me being bi," scoffed Andy, taking a sip from his iced tea.

Could she possibly confess to him her incestuous tendencies with Peter? Would Andy be understanding toward their situation, like she had been with his? Hardly. She groaned, and put her head in her hands, "But it is, Andy- it's _so_ much worse."

He shook his head, "I don't believe that."

A metallic tasting liquid found its way inside her mouth, and Claire realized she was biting down on her lip hard. It tasted gross down her throat, but it still wasn't enough of a distraction from what Andy kept pressuring her to tell him.

But, for a moment, she thought things over. It could be a good thing, right? Claire knew she needed to tell someone before she exploded, and maybe he was the precise person to tell.

She didn't give herself anymore time to think about it, but instead just decided to be honest. If she thought about it more, than she would go back to her reclusive corner and close the safe that held the secret of who the love of her life was.

"_You're_ not going to believe who it is," she mumbled, playing with her fingers nervously and licking her lips. Was she really going to do it? Her stomach turned uncomfortably with anticipation of what her confession could mean.

With one eyebrow raised and a slightly amused smile, Andy took a sip of his coffee, "I think I actually might have an inkling of who it could be."

"I doubt that, very much," she laughed bitterly.

Andy's smile grew, "We'll see about that. So tell me, who is this mystery boyfriend of yours? Or- Should I say- Fiancée?"

Another groan formed inside Claire's throat and she covered her face with her hands, "Peter...Petrelli."

"I knew it!"

Claire's head instantly snapped up and she felt the color in her face drain away, "What?"

How could it have even been possible for Andy to be suspicious? She never mentioned Peter around him and he had only met him one time. But it also scared her, because if Andy, who had only seen them interact _twice_, knew...did that mean it was obvious to everyone else? Including the Petrelli's?

"Claire, are you kidding me? That day we were all over at your dad's and he left- that pretty much gave it away. The way he looked at you and you at him. Not to mention that you were everywhere he was, while you were on Winter Vacation- I do read Star Magazine. OH! And that interview he gave to Nylon- That was so _you_."

An overwhelming sense of fright ran through Claire and she swallowed, letting her eyes bulge out a little- not really sure of what to do when it was pretty obvious to the whole world that she was engaged to her uncle.

She ran a hand through her hair frantically, "But you know what this means, right? You know who Peter Petrelli is?"

Andy scrunched his face as if he were in deep thought, then cocked his head to the side, "Your uncle? Claire- it's ok, you can't help who you love." He put his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her, "Besides, I don't blame you- you're uncle is a fucking hot_ supermodel_."

Although the situation was anything but amusing, Claire couldn't help but laugh at Andy's expression as he said that Peter was hot. She already knew that, everyone knew that Peter was the epitome of perfection, that his picture was probably next to the word in the dictionary.

"That doesn't take away from it being bad- _wrong_."

A couple more cute guys walked down the street and when Claire turned to look back at Andy, she burst out laughing-making her feel a little better. Because on his face was a look of pure attraction that he'd never even had when he looked at her. The thing that really made her feel better, was that she wasn't even sad that he had never looked at her like that...or maybe, that was a bad thing?

Claire groaned again at her complete lack of respect to morality.

Even though she had her head down, she could imagine Andy rolling his eyes as he sighed, "Claire- It's only wrong because of the society we live in. There's plenty of places in the world where it would be considered normal. Besides, he wasn't always your uncle, right? It's not like you grew up with him as your uncle- that would be different."

She nodded, exasperated as she sat back up and looked at her watch, "I guess you're right, but I have to go. I promised my stepmother I'd go for dinner- want to come with?"

Andy contemplated for a few minutes, then shrugged, "Sure- why not?"

...

As soon as Heidi winked her eye, Claire knew that it had been a bad idea, but the realization really hadn't hit her yet.

To her, Andy and her were just friends- pals- best buddies, they didn't have any romantic feelings for each other anymore. So what Heidi was probably assuming as she saw them together didn't cross Claire's mind, and she simply pushed it aside for the time being. Instead, she focused on the fact that Angela was busy knitting something, and was completely consumed by the task.

Angela was a woman into designer clothing- interior design, and had impeccable taste with classical piano music. All of that was why Claire didn't understand what she was doing. Knitting- out of all the things in the world that she could have been doing instead.

Nathan, who was standing next to Heidi awkwardly, grimaced at his mother shot Claire a look and whispered under his breath, "She does that when she's stressed about something."

"What's she stressed out about?" Claire whispered back, just as low as Nathan, frowning and trying to figure out what her grandmother could possibly be stressed out about. Maybe she was trying to kill millions of people again, but it wasn't working out again?

Her bio dad shrugged and motioned for them to go to the dining room, smiling at Andy as he realized he was there, "Andy! It's great to see you," he shook hands with him.

Internally, Claire groaned, knowing what they were thinking then. Which wasn't the case at all, because Andy seemed to be more gay than bi, anyway.

They all sat down around the table, making sure to leave two open seats next to each other for them. Claire didn't know whether to be amused, that they were trying to play match makers, or to gag since it was weird now.

Across from her though, something caught her eye. There was only one person missing- Angela- yet, there were two places still open.

Claire turned towards Nathan, "Is there someone else coming to dinner?"

"Me," said a somber voice at the doorway, making his way towards the empty seat.

Out of all the days for Claire to bring Andy to dinner, it had to be that night. She cursed at herself as Peter sat down and looked around the table, uninterested in anything- or anyone there. He didn't even bother greeting Andy and Claire mentally wanted to kick herself for being so incredibly careless.

But then, another thought struck her- why hadn't he told her that he was back? And why was he at the Petrelli's? They didn't even get along. She stared at him, hoping to make eye contact, but he refused to look in her direction and instead- simply drank from his water, "I thought you were away-working?"

He glanced at her for less than a second, and she detected a flicker of nervousness in them, before looking at Nathan, who was shaking his head.

"Pete's been here for three days- it's been good having him back, you should have come by, Claire. We've been thinking about taking a trip down to the Bahamas- you know, a family trip", He paused and looked from Claire to Andy, "Of course, you're more than welcome to join us if you'd like, Andy."

Across the table, Peter started coughing on his water, his face growing redder by the moment. Claire's immediate thought was to jump over the table and make sure he was ok, but Nathan had beaten her to it and had started hitting his back.

After a minute, the normal paleness returned to Peter's face, and he gave Nathan the tiniest of smiles, reassuring him that he was fine. But that smile did not cross over to Claire instead, he frowned at her slightly, before turning his attention back to the plate in front of him.

"Jeez, Peter. Be a little more careful won't you?" Claire could tell that he wanted to pass off the fright of Peter choking as just simple carelessness from Peter, but she couldn't help but notice that there was worry in his eyes, something that, in return, made her heart skip faster- was there something she didn't know about? Were the Petrelli's, once again, harboring secrets and lies from her? She hated to think it, but she was sure that they were.

A few minutes after they had all settled back into their somewhat 'normal' conversations, and continued their discussion on plans for a family vacation during the summer, Angela finally made her entrance, with somewhat bloodshot eyes.

Although Claire was the first to notice, she didn't say anything. She wasn't used to seeing the more vulnerable side to Angela. It was actually quite bizarre that she was showing anything other than pure disinterest, thought Claire.

Nathan seemed to notice to, and frowned at his usually cold-hearted mother, "Mom, what's wrong?"

Even Peter looked up momentarily but let his gaze fall back on to the plate, trying to let his mood remain inconspicuous.

"What are you talking about?" Angela seared, taking her seat at the table, seemingly wanting to avoid any topic wanting to do with her appearance. She took her glass and brought it to her lips, swinging it back so that all the liquid went down her throat in one swallow. What ever it was that was bothering her- Claire didn't know, but for it to make her grandmother cry- it actually scared her.

"Anyway- I was telling Claire about the family vacation we're planning this summer," Nathan's voice had cheered up drastically.

Another unpredicted clatter arose from where Peter was standing up. He still didn't expose any type of emotion externally- but Claire could see that something had made him snap. It was weird, because she couldn't understand what could possibly be wrong.

He started walked towards the door of the door, not turning to look at anyone, "Bye."

Before Claire could stop him, or say bye- he was gone. But no one really paid much attention to his abrupt exit. Instead, Nathan directed everyone's attention back to his press- filled idea of their family vacation.

It didn't last long, because, before she realized what was happening, their plates had been collected, and most had already left the table for the exception of herself and Andy.

She turned to him, a little perplexed, "Want to leave?"

"_Please_!" Andy looked like he was going to break out in an anxiety attack, and Claire couldn't help but laugh.

...

It wasn't really difficult for Claire to decide where to tell the taxi driver to take her after they dropped off Andy at the dorms. The impending conversation she knew she had to have with Peter scared her for some reason .

Other than the fact that he'd gone away for a week and told her he'd be working, only to find out that he'd come back three days ago, but had been staying with the Petrelli's worried her. What did it mean? Why hadn't he mentioned anything at all- and what had she done to deserve such cold behavior from him? It was so unlike him to act like that towards her now.

As she made her way through the front door of the apartment, she had prepared herself to see the same stoic expression from earlier, but he wasn't there. The apartment was dark- void- empty. The kitchen was empty- the living-room was dark and cold.

She sighed, partially angry at herself and angry at him for his confusing behavior. Things had been fine- they had been great, she couldn't understand why he was acting so peculiar.

Instead, she took off her shoes and lazily walked towards the bedroom, only to find him laying down on the bed, his eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. Only, it wasn't that he was thinking of something, it's as if he had a great interest towards the particular color of _it_- that it, itself, interested him.

When she closed the door behind her, he didn't turn to look at her or say anything. He didn't register any difference in the room at all. She didn't want to say it, but it was almost as if he was ignoring her completely- like he purposely didn't want to speak to her.

Claire didn't like that.

Slowly, she walked towards the bed and fumbled as she took her shoes off, getting into the bed. Claire still didn't say anything and waited until she snuggled close to him. He didn't resist as she lay her head on his chest and put her arm around him- He was actually very still.

That was, until she tried to kiss him. It all happened at once then- he became frigid, like stone, as her lips traveled on his neck, to his lips. They didn't kiss her back, he just laid there, allowing her to kiss him but doing nothing in return.

But when her hand slid down to his belt, he turned abruptly. He lay on his side. It was something he did to shield himself, even if he was pretending, just to be tired.

Claire sighed, "What's wrong, Peter?"

He didn't answer right away, but took his time, as if carefully choosing what to say back, "Just go to bed, Claire, I'm tired."

"No. Not until you tell me what's bothering you."

She heard the change in his breathing, "I'm just tired- nothing is wrong. Go to sleep."

Claire shook her head, even though she knew he couldn't see her, "No! I want to know what's wrong! And why did you lie to me? You didn't tell me you were back and that you were staying at the mansion!"

Almost instantly, Peter stood up, putting one of his hands through his bed-hair and mumbled, "I'll sleep on the couch."

...

The morning came, and as much as Claire wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened the night before, she couldn't. She had to know just what was wrong. What had she done to upset him? And why was he suddenly acting so weird?

Like the night before, she expected him to be gone, or maybe still asleep on the couch- but when she walked out of the bedroom, she didn't expect to see him shirtless in the kitchen, and in front of the stove.

A wave of euphoria found it's way to her at the mere sight of him. It was almost as potent as the first time she had seen him. He was lean- pale, but gorgeous, and him being shirtless never really got old either.

The door closed behind her and he turned, a smirk forming on his lips- into that crooked grin- it really only made her more lightheaded. Actually, she wasn't really sure that she was really coherent at that moment. Not when he was in front of her, distracting her by his amazing looks.

"You're up!" he smiled at her, walking over to kiss her forehead.

His lips were so soft- she never got over that either. It was almost like a dream, how perfect and imperfect he was at the same time. He also didn't seem to be angry anymore and she liked that.

Claire cleared her throat, blinking a couple times, to try and remember what she had to say, "You're in a better mood."

For a fraction of a second, the same impassiveness was back on his face, but he cleared it out-smirked, and turned back to what he was cooking. He muttered softly, "Yeah."

Had she made the same mistake? It angered her that she was so idiotic, that she couldn't figure out that perhaps bringing up the subject again wouldn't have been a wise thing to do. But it was also hard to tell with Peter- she could never tell what his moods were like, they changed abruptly, as if he was bipolar or something- actually she thought, if that were true, it would have explained a lot.

"So...you're making breakfast?" Changing the subject seemed to be the safest thing at that moment.

Peter nodded, and grinned at her again, "We're going out tonight."

"Where are we going?"

He motioned towards one of the bar stools for Claire to sit, as he turned to her with what seemed to be scrambled egg whites with spinach. The truth was, it didn't look or smell too appealing, but Claire wasn't about to give something Peter made up.

"We're going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art Ball." The grin didn't fade, and Claire knew by the sound of it that it was probably something really important- but she still had no clue what it he was talking about.

He handed her a fork and she shoved some of the scrambled eggs into her mouth. They were still hot, but they weren't as bad as she had imagined them to be- it was actually something of an ok combination.

Still, she couldn't help frowning to ask, "Is it some type of party?"

Peter chuckled, and ruffled her hair, turning to pour her a glass of orange juice, "I thought you wouldn't know. It's actually a ball thrown by _Anna Wintour_," he turned back to her to hand her the juice, "She's the editor-in-chief of Vogue- it's a fashion magazine."

Claire raised an eyebrow as she took a large gulp of her orange juice, "I'm not that clueless, you know. I do know what _Vogue_ magazine is."

"That's good- I would have been really worried if you hadn't known _that._"

"There's one problem though," Claire held her finger up as she drank the remaining juice, "I don't have anything to wear."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Peter grinned at her. Most of the time, his amazingness never ceased to surprise her, and she welcomed his never-ending awesomeness but, at that moment, she couldn't help but finding it a bit annoying that he was so incredibly perfect.

...

If there was one thing that Claire could say about Peter, was that he was, without a doubt, a perfectionist about everything. He simply wanted things to be beautiful, and to help make them beautiful. And he had made her beautiful that evening- since he, of course, had picked out her dress.

It was an off the shoulder, gold, sequined dress that was long-sleeved and hung to her body with a very low back-line. It was elegant and gorgeous, he'd even whispered into her ear how it brought out the gold highlights in her hair and her slightly tanned complexion.

Most of the limo ride had been silent, with occasional small talk and Peter giving her small smiles. Awkward wasn't the right word because, the truth was, that Claire felt completely at ease with him- fine with him, great even. But there was something else, something that was floating up between them, making itself aware, something that was preventing her from enjoying the great time she knew she should be having at his side. Because truly- whatever they were doing, as long as they were doing it together, it made her happy.

He sighed quietly, probably so she wouldn't notice, but she did and Claire couldn't help but turn her head up to see his wandering, unfocused eyes. He was in deep thought and she could tell by the way his brow was furrowed that it was something important- he was normally never that serious with her.

"What are you thinking about?" She tried to make her voice upbeat and happy- the last thing they needed was- God forbid it, more angst.

The noise coming from the engine acted as their music and Claire found it hard not to notice it anymore- as it was the only thing she could hear- besides the buzzing of the paparazzi waiting outside to drown them in flashes.

Still, Peter remained silent- like he was unwilling to share his secretive thoughts that Claire so impatiently sought after. His lips parted slightly and he licked them tentatively- blowing a small amount of his breath in her direction and making her momentarily forget what she asked, why they were there- pretty much everything.

There was a second where she closed her eyes and faintly heard him sigh, "I'm thinking that-" He looked at her momentarily and smiled again, blinking slowly, "-you look great tonight. You're going to be the most beautiful woman there."

Again- his sweet breath made its way on to her- Claire couldn't help at swallow- and reminded herself to breathe. His presence was simply overwhelming her to such a degree, that she wanted to fast forward through dinner and the ball, so she could take him straight back to the apartment.

Before Claire could voice her idea, their door was opened and out they were thrown onto to the sharks- the hunger driven paparazzi.

It didn't surprise Claire how he smiled effortlessly at the cameras and took her arm gracefully- not her hand- because for the evening she was just his niece, and he her uncle.

...

Everyone who was anyone was there, as well as people who Claire had never heard of. She would have been in awe, was it not for the reason that Peter kept talking to her and explaining who everyone was.

A few people passed by their table, greeting them both and Claire frowned, not understanding how they knew her name.

"That's Anna," motioned Peter with his head over to a woman that was clearly in her older fifties. She held herself with great care- she could see that. Sure, she was pretty, but what was so special about her? Why did Peter say her name with such high esteem?

In that moment Anna turned and smiled cautiously at Peter, "Come on- she wants to greet us."

Without waiting for her to respond, Peter stood up and - acting like a gentleman for once, pulled her seat out and took her hand to help her up. All the while, Claire found it extremely weird how he was acting as if Anna were a goddess.

"What's so important about her anyway?" Claire muttered as they made their way over to the table where she was seated at.

Peter raised a single eyebrow and shook his head at her once. It should have made her angry and upset, but his flawless look only made her anger melt, and she sighed- giving up any desire to be upset at him.

"Peter, I'm glad to see that you received the invitation, " Anna kindly said, giving her hand to Peter- so that he kissed it.

Claire wanted to gag, what did it matter that she was some editor? It wasn't that she was jealous because, after all, the lady could be Peter's mom, but she still felt uncomfortable that he looked at Anna with admiration. He never really looked at her that way, and she couldn't help at feel just a tiny bit jealous.

They stayed there for a few minutes, mostly Peter talking to Anna, and her to him. Truthfully, she felt rather stupid standing there next to him with no real purpose. And then, for some unknown reason- she felt claustrophobic, the tight long-sleeved dress that she was wearing made her feel like she was trapped.

"You will be in Paris for fashion week, I'm sure?" It seemed to be more of an assurance than a question.

Peter nodded and assured her he would, since he would be the opening of a new Chanel male line- that Karl Ferguson had asked him to walk in. What it meant and how much it meant- Claire wasn't sure, but she figured it was really important, judging on how Anna was looking at Peter.

After what seemed like more than just ten minutes, they headed back to their table, silently. Peter looked at her occasionally, offering a small smile now and then- but seemed to be keeping whatever it was to himself.

"Peter-" Just when she was going to ask what was wrong, a song came on, and Peter shot up.

"Come on, dance with me?" He smiled at her. His stupid, crooked grin that she loved so much- why did it have so much effect on her? It wasn't like she hadn't seen it a million times already.

Groaning- she stood up, she hated dancing, but he had some type of curse on her that disabled her from denying him anything. How could she? When he was so utterly perfect? Everything from his hazel eyes, dark bangs, to his pale complexion always made her breath hitch and heart stop- he just had an incredible power over that she was sure she'd never find with anyone else.

With one hand on her back comfortably, and one holding her other hand, Peter pulled Claire close to him as they started to dance- to a slow song. It was slow and romantic- not a song that an uncle and niece should've been dancing to.

But it still seemed to be perfect, or at least it felt that way- with the stare that Peter gave her. And just then, he smiled at her a little and sighed, "I love you, Claire-"

It was low and quiet; Claire doubted anyone else but her could hear the lovely words coming from him. The words- along with the song, brought so much emotion that her fingers tingled, and she began to get goose bumps. But there was still a hesitant look in him, still something that didn't quite fit with the words he'd let out.

"You're beautiful, a good person-but-" He breathed in slightly, searching her face for his words- for some type of way of letting what he had to say out,"-I'm not in love with you."

The words didn't register to Claire. And for a few moments, she kept the smile on her face and blinked- hoping it was some type of delusion her mind had come up with. There was too much between them, too many feelings for him not to be in love with her. It was the only thing she held on to- that she was _sure_ of.

But by that time, his own smile had evaporated and instead had been replaced with a serious stare. One that assured his words, and made them more real, "I'm sorry, Claire. I can't lie to you and myself anymore-it's over."

Her chest moved up and down with her heart accelerated, "But-"

Peter moved his head towards her ear- ever gracefully, "Remember, we're being watched."

Why there? She wanted to ask. Was it so that she couldn't properly respond back, to make it easier on him? Was it because she couldn't cause an outburst without making it look like something else? It was all planned- everything. The breakfast- the smile he'd given her, the dress- it all came down to that defining moment where he'd deliver his news.

A minute past where she looked into his eyes and swore that maybe it was a lie, because they were slightly glazed, and it seemed like he wanted to pout, but instead he frowned and looked away from her, "It's just for the best, Claire. I confused what I felt for you, I'm sorry."

She swore she heard his voice crack, but she couldn't be sure because of the buzzing conversations around them that had suddenly come back.

If she really wanted to be honest with herself though, she'd known deep down, that it had been too good to be true. How could someone as perfect, and flawless as Peter ever feel that way about someone as ordinary as her? She wasn't a Kate Moss or Asia Pulco.

The song came to a sudden end, and so did they.


	30. XXVI

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XXVI

Just like earlier that night, their car ride back to Peter's apartment was silent. Except, this time it was _awkward_. It wasn't just that though, it was also difficult for Claire, she couldn't look at him, or move, even breathing was hard because she was afraid she'd collapse into an unstoppable flow of tears. And she didn't want to do that, not in front of Peter, who seemed to be unmoved by how she might react.

"We're still family, Claire," Peter looked at her while he said it, full of confidence and calmness. He looked at ease and peaceful with his decision.

It hurt. Like nothing else Claire had ever experienced- it ached more than finding out that Nathan never wanted her- more than finding out that her father didn't work for a paper company- it hurt like an electric circuit burning her insides, and it was doing it with such grace and impassiveness.

As much as she wanted to scream at him, hit him- she couldn't. All that time, they'd done what she wanted, he'd been with her because she'd needed him, because _she'd_ wanted him. If he wanted his freedom because it would make him happy, then that's exactly what she was willing to do. For once, she figured, maybe saving him- was letting him go.

Giving him his freedom and happiness wasn't much to ask from her. She understood, at least- thought she knew it then. That she was suffocating him, and her selfishness of having him by her side. That's when it really hit her, like having wind blown out of her- literally.

Claire sighed and looked at him, plastering what she hoped was a genuine smile on her face, "You're right. You're completely right, I think this will be good for the both of us."

Peter's own smile faltered for a moment, but it returned and larger. His nose flared a bit and he swallowed, "You really think so?"

Biting down on her tongue internally, Claire nodded. She couldn't open her mouth in fear that it would betray her and let him know just how much that was a lie. Sure, she wanted to give him his freedom, but her desire to have him at her side and the need she had for him- it was strong too.

The limo stopped, but their intense stares didn't. Neither could take their eyes off each other and, for a moment, Claire wondered if it was because he felt just the way she did. But it was gone as soon as it had come, because, of course, he wouldn't feel like that, not when it had been him that had decided that they needed to go their separate ways.

When it seemed that Peter was about to say something, their driver opened her door, and  
Peter motioned for her to get out. Claire blinked and looked up at the apartment building, then back at him, "I guess I should get my things back to my dorm."

Peter followed Claire out of the limo and dug his hands inside his pockets while he shook his head at her, "Don't be silly. Stay."

She frowned, "But-"

"I'm moving out, Claire. Actually- out of the country." He mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

Inside, she screamed- fell to the ground and sobbed. He couldn't leave- it would kill her- it would destroy her, she needed him, like every normal person needed oxygen. But instead, the more controlled side of her merely blinked and licked her lips once, "Why?"

As he started walking into the apartment building, Claire followed him, intent on making him tell her exactly why he was leaving. At first he stayed quiet and looked ahead, gathering his thoughts into one concise-edited response. He seemed to be editing himself a lot more lately, or so Claire thought.

"I keep having to go back to Europe every few days- I spend more than half my time there. It makes sense to move closer to where I'm needed."

_'You're needed here! I need you!'_ Claire screamed inside her head, but instead said out loud, "What about your recovery? You need to keep getting shots of my blood from Mohinder so you can get your powers back!"

An elderly couple got out of the elevator and Peter shushed her with his finger, smiling at them as they entered the elevator themselves and watched as the couple walked away.

When they were out of sight, he reached for something in his pocket and pulled out a  
prescription bottle-gazing at it intently.

Claire took it from his hands and looked at the labeling, which was completely blank.  
She frowned, unable to understand what that bottle held. When she gazed up at him, he was smiling slightly.

"I'd rather not find out whether or not your powers work on helping me get mine back, Claire. I've never really wanted them back."

Another bout of sadness spread throughout her, making her lips quiver, "Is this- the medicine you took before?"

He offered her a sad smile and nodded, raising a hand to her face, but only for a moment, before the elevator stopped- opening the doors before them.

Still a little shaken, Claire managed to follow Peter into his apartment, and sat herself numbly on the couch. She hoped, and only wanted a simple thing- for him to sit next to her, that wasn't much to ask- yet he didn't, he sat opposite of her, only cutting her deeper.

Claire looked down at her fingers and fumbled with them, "When are you leaving?"

Outside, rain started drizzling against the long windows. It was just rain, but it had more significance than it just being water. It was an omen, something telling her that things would only get worse- warning her to expect worse, always worse. That she and Peter were never meant to be- he wasn't hers, never had been.

Right then and there- all Claire really wanted was to throw herself off the balcony- it didn't matter that they were twenty stories up. Then, of course, Peter said something that only made her want to do it more.

"I leave in the morning."

...

"You're a fucking idiot," Andy flatly burst out as soon as Claire was finished with her re-telling of what had happened at the Ball.

If she had been in a better mood, or able to feel anything at all, she was sure it would have hurt, but it didn't. Since Peter had left a week ago, nothing did-nothing mattered, she couldn't feel or taste. Nothing really had meaning if he wasn't there.

There wasn't any need to look at Andy, or anything else, she just hugged herself tighter and closed her eyes tightly, "I just want him to be happy. He deserves it."

It was faint, but she heard his back hit his seat and sigh, "He still loves you."

"No. Don't say that." The hiss came out more angry than she'd meant, but she just couldn't stand for Andy to lie that way to her, only to make her feel better, when the truth was that Peter didn't feel anything remotely associated with love towards her.

Andy scowled and jumped back up from his seat, "When did you start being so stubborn, Claire? That guy loves you, I can tell by the way he looks at you! He's completely in love with you. Why are you both being like this? It's so stupid! You should know better."

For someone as smart as him, how could he be so un-perceptive? Claire asked herself, unwilling to budge from her state. She wouldn't give in to Andy's antics, he was completely wrong, and allowing him to make her believe that Peter still felt something for her would only make her hurt more- she was sure of it.

From inside the Petrelli mansion, a frantic Angela looked at them- she didn't have to say anything, they knew they were needed back in the house with the reporter and everyone else, forced to appear as normal as possible.

The press- society, what they wanted from the Petrelli's was an all American family, and Claire at that moment was more than happy to put all other thoughts aside and resume the role of the Presidential hopeful candidate's daughter. It was natural, faking with the Petrelli's, and plastering an insincere smile on her face in front of the news reporter was no different.

She even hung onto Andy's sleeve delicately- it really didn't mean anything, but in the back of her mind, the one that urgently wanted Peter back with her- the selfish part of her, hoped the press would notice in the pictures, and that Peter would see and come running back to her. It was all she could hold on to- hope, that he realized that he did love her, did want her, and would rush back to her apologizing and groveling at her feet.

It was almost instinctive how when the reporter glanced at her hand, that she intertwined fingers with Andy who, in return, frowned slightly at her. She smiled and kissed him lightly- after all his lips were still familiar. It wasn't awkward, it was all an act.

He went along with it, knowing very well what she was doing, but pulled apart quickly, with everyone's eyes on them. The silence was almost as condemning as if it was a taboo, a shameful action unacceptable to do in public. Of course, none of it mattered to Claire- it was all for Peter to see how incredibly desired she was.

"You'll have to excuse these lovebirds, they can't seem to stay away from each other," Heidi smiled sweetly at the New York Post reporter.

He flicked his eyes over to her and offered an understanding smile, moving along with his questions, while Angela glared at them with such vehemence that Claire actually felt bad about what she had done, but only for a second.

...

When the reporter had left, and only Claire and Andy remained on the veranda, he immediately unlatched himself from her and gazed at her scornfully, "What the hell was that?"

Her face as sinless as ever, Claire blinked and shrugged, "What are you talking about?"

It was actually amusing watching Andy get annoyed; it was new to Claire. It was an expression he'd never had before when they were dating, back when he'd been the perfect gentleman with her. She desperately tried to stop there from thinking of a different person; she couldn't think of him. If she did, that would lead to his rejection, him being gone, and to that unimaginable distress she felt at not having him beside her anymore.

The claustrophobic hurt and dry feeling in her throat would return, and clouds would enter her mind, with only eerie depictions of Peter in them. So, really, she couldn't bring herself to think of him, not when the mood was so light.

"That's really childish, Claire, you think it wasn't obvious? He's going to read the paper and assume that we've miraculously gotten back together or something. Is that what you want?" Never before had she heard his voice be so stern, angry and caring at the same time- so unlike Andy.

She sighed; he'd brought him up. Her insides shook with fear, but she concentrated instead on the thought of Andy and his dimples- his smiles, they brought her warmth because he was there, with her, "You're bi. We use to date, what's the big deal? Let's just give it another try, Andy."

Was it so much to ask? After all, he'd been pursuing her after they'd broken up anyway.

Maybe they could fall in love, if she worked hard enough for it. Of course, it would never amount to the same passion-filled love she had for- him, but it could be something. If they gave it another try, it would be something- someday.

Yet, the look that Andy gave her surprised her. It was a mix of bemusement, awe and shock, maybe. But, behind all that, there was sadness, a mixture of feelings so screwed up she was afraid that maybe she'd said the wrong thing.

"Claire," was all it seemed he could say, all his voice was able to produce from such- uncertainty. She didn't like the way he said her name, it was too familiar to the way that Peter had said it the night at the ball. It brought back the claustrophobic feeling and suppressed air was able to make its way inside her lungs.

He bit his bottom lip and shook his head, frowning at her, "-I'm not bi, I'm gay."

Her foul mood instantly doubled, feeling immense hatred toward him. The truth was, that she wasn't in anyway attracted to him anymore. She didn't love him like Peter, she didn't want him physically, or had the desire to kiss him, but she'd held onto the thought that she could pretend with him. She could lie to herself and make herself believe that they could be together- that they had a chance.

"Well, isn't that just inconvenient," she muttered angrily.

Andy took her by her shoulders and sat her down next to him on the couch, eying her seriously, "Pretending to be something with me isn't going to make you forget him, Claire. You aren't even remotely attracted to me anymore, and the fact that you want to use me as a rebound- well- that sort of hurts."

Claire rolled her eyes, "You have no idea, Andy- you can't possibly imagine what-" she inhaled, wrapping herself securely, "-this feels like."

Almost- it was very close, how her eyes came near to filling with water. It was like she was balancing herself on a thin piece of string that could break at any moment, leaving her free to sob.

There wasn't much he could do at that moment than to pull her in and kiss her forehead.

Only, that made her sadder, because- his lips weren't anywhere near as soft as Peter's.

...

Peter had told her that she could stay there and keep the apartment. Finding out that the rent had already been paid for two years only helped too, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't stay in a place where she felt him constantly, even smelt him. She couldn't be in a room where items, seats, walls, everything- brought back a vivid memory of being in his safe arms.

Her moving back into her dorm was actually the only thing that Andy and she had agreed on lately. It would help to distract her from the depression that seemed to be slowly slipping into her and taking over her every inch in her body.

After she'd finished packing all her CD's, which weren't much compared to the insane amount he'd had, she set the box down, going to get another. When she got to the storage room, they were all gone, and she cursed under her breath. If she asked him to, she was sure Andy would find more, but in that moment she remembered she'd briefly seen some in Peter's walk-in closet.

Claire had sincerely tried to stay away from his closet, she couldn't imagine how potent his scent would be in there- just how much his presence would haunt her there, making her crumble to her very core with fright. But she'd been so dependent on Andy lately, that she found it silly that she wasn't able to go inside a mere closet to retrieve boxes, just because of _him_.

She took a deep breath and opened the door, switching the light on to spot the boxes, then off again. Yet- it was in that very millisecond- it was with one glance- one turn of her eyes, that she broke. Unconsciously, she took a few steps forward until she was in front of the item that seemed so pivotal, so catastrophic, nostalgic and lovely at the same time.

It was the trench coat he had worn- the one he'd had on the first time they'd ever met. It was the one he'd worn the night that he had saved her from Sylar.

Her hands were trembling, just like the rest of her body, but she took it off the hanger and clutched close to her, supporting herself on the wall behind her as she slowly slipped onto the floor-numbly. Her throat got tighter by the second, dry with a burning sensation throughout her body that instantly became cold and horribly frozen.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to somehow pull all her insides together and stop thinking of him. Of course, she knew that would be a complete failure. Memories, images, voices of him were much more powerful than any of her. It was even more dynamic than her regenerative ability. It was so potent, that the last image that went through her mind before she fell unconscious, were his lips on her neck and feeling his crooked smile on her skin.

...

When Claire woke up, she found that she'd some how fallen asleep in his closet, clutching the one thing he'd left behind- the ivory trench coat. She hated to admit to herself why he'd left it. It had no apparent significance to him, and that made the hurt in her chest, the black hole, strengthen. It made his abandonment hurt and the burning in her throat was so potent she was afraid her regeneration would not work this time.

Was that really it? Those few months where they had lived in Camelot, really it? Was she doomed to live in a gray scaled, Peter-less world for the rest of her limitless life? The burning increased, but Claire refused to let tears out. She refused to shed a single tear for someone who had been so incredibly cold towards her.

The ring of her cell-phone distracted her, but she refused to get up from her spot; she wasn't even sure she'd ever be able to move again. It wasn't like she would die- starve, get dehydrated. She could literally stay there for the rest of her life. And the thing she found most funny was that the one person she knew who would look for her eventually, because of the love and care he had for her, had left her. Meaning that it had all been a mirage, and that she could be rest assured that she'd be left in peace in that closet forever.

"What the hell are you doing?" Andy asked, frowning at her and bending down to get a better look at her.

She knew her eyes were unfocused and on the wall, staring at the clean white paint, but she didn't care. All Claire could do was clutch the trench coat tighter, "He left his jacket, Andy. This is the jacket he wore the night he saved me- and- he left it." She finished in a whisper.

Andy was silent for a long time, only resting his hands in hers softly, laying next to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Claire, you need to stop this- it's not healthy."

Claire opened her mouth, never taking her eyes off the wall and whispered in an eerie voice, "But he's not coming back to me- he's never coming back to me."

"You should call him- tell him how you feel. Maybe he'll-"

"He'll what? Come back? He wanted to leave, Andy. I didn't force him, he just didn't want me anymore," Claire gasped for air. The more she thought about him, the more he entered her mind- the less she could breathe. She couldn't let air into her lungs anymore, she literally couldn't feel anything but a void, "I can't- breathe, Andy. I can't."

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Beta'd By:Ellie

Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, I'll try to comment back in the next chapter, I know I've been neglecting that.

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	31. Part XXVII

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beta'd by Ellie

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**  
Part XXVII

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Peter lifted her chin, tears streaming down her face, "Why are you crying, Claire? It's just a movie."

Claire sniffed, letting a tiny sob out and, though she tried to steady her breathing, her voice still cracked, "It's just- th-the thought of that happening to you-"

Peter smiled and kissed her wet lips and cheeks, "Oh, baby, I'm never leaving you."

She sniffled against him- her heart still in turmoil over the thought of him permanently gone- forever. "Promise?"

He nodded and kissed her again, more passionately that time, "I promise never-ever to leave you, Claire. I'm going to spend eternity with you."

A small smile was forming on Claire's lips as she felt his kiss. It was wonderful to wake up to that; she loved it. It was like waking up to the freshest air, the most comfortable pillow- it was like heaven. Peter was her heaven, and she could literally live for eternity in him- with him.

When she moved though, the heat that had been radiating off his body and breath surrounding her seemed to have evaporated.

Another wave of hard cold reality hit her, and Claire hugged herself, refusing to open her eyes. She tried to ignore the fact that the bed she was in felt completely different than the one in Peter's apartment, and the sheets didn't have his lingering scent.

She really didn't want to open her eyes, she wanted to stay in a state of complete bliss, believing he was there. But her self-control left her, leaving her eyes free to open and made her realize that she was alone in her dorm room.

It was almost automatic after that, almost instinctive that tears started trickling down her cheeks. Her body couldn't take trying to suppress them any longer, they were let loose and free. And they didn't stop, they continued to run down her face and fill that void-making it expand with a complete feeling of despair and defenselessness.

A lock of her blonde hair fell forward, and Claire wasn't exactly sure why, but it heightened the empty hurt inside her and made her curl up more in a ball on her bed even further.

The days since Peter had left her had blurred, leaving her clueless of what day it really was-what time- though, none of it mattered. there was no point in going on and pretending she cared if time passed. It didn't matter if she failed her classes, it was really insignificant.

...

The bottle was in front of her- it was easy- so easy. But why did it hurt her so much to be doing it? She felt like as if it was one of the final steps until it was over.

Three weeks and not one call. Not a single hello to see how she was, no stopping by to at least check up on her. She figured, why would he? She was disposable-easily replaced by the gorgeous models he was constantly around. And, in the back of her mind, Claire had no doubt that Elle was now a larger part of his life.

With her hand trembling, Claire picked up the plastic bottle of brown hair dye. She had to do it, it would help- she was sure of it. There really was no point of her parading around with blonde hair all sunny and happy- it really didn't make sense, and as much as he'd thought, she wasn't that person anymore.

Tiny tears trickled down her cheeks while she poured the contents on her head. The strong smell of the dye stung her nose, but she ignored it, and instead flared her nose angrily. Claire was taking control of her hair, it was hers now, not anyone else's. But it still hurt all the same to be doing it.

So much hurt, she wasn't sure what didn't anymore. In the past, she'd always been able to heal from everything, but nothing-nothing had ever cut her this deep without healing. It was weakening her arms, lungs-her skin- everything felt so much pain, that she truly thought maybe this time she would die. She hoped for it.

A half hour later, she stood in front of the mirror with her darker hair. The mirror was full of steam and she wiped it to look at her darker do. In all honesty, she didn't feel anything towards it. It didn't matter what shade it really was, but blonde- it held a significance that was so utterly reminiscent of the past, she couldn't stand it anymore.

It was only hair, she told herself as she held the scissors in her hand. Besides, she was completely tired of her long hair- he'd met her with long hair. Somehow- darker hair went with short- chin length hair.

Claire watched as strands of her hair slowly met the floor. She wanted to see more on the floor though- and began snipping erratically. Her throat tightened, but she kept cutting it shorter, until it was all short, right to her shoulders.

She dropped the scissors on the ground and looked into the mirror at her red rimmed eyes, and wet cheeks, at how short and dark her hair was then- but that was her, and she liked it. It was who she wanted to be now- no one's.

...

The decision had come to her rather quickly. She wasn't sure why she had decided to hail a cab and head in the direction of the Petrelli mansion. If anything, she knew that she should have been steering clear from it, but she still didn't.

Once she was there, she ran out of the cab, completely forgetting to pay, only then realizing exactly what she needed to do. It was bizarre, she'd never felt this way before.

She'd never felt the need to have the Petrelli's close to her, after all, all she'd ever needed from them was him. But he was gone, making it clear just what was important to her then.

Claire ran through the front doors, ignoring the shocked expression on Monty's face as she passed him. She didn't stop to greet Heidi-didn't knock on the door of his study, and didn't care that he was busy talking on the phone with someone.

Nathan stared at her shocked as she barged in, holding the phone to his ear and frowning at her, "Clai-"

Claire threw herself at him, wrapping her small arms around him and burying her face into his chest, bawling. This was what she needed; her father.

For a few seconds, Nathan stood still, not sure of how to respond to her abrupt behavior- but after a while he hung up the phone and wrapped his arms around her- rubbing her back soothingly.

Hot and angry tears ran down her face onto his expensive suit, but Claire didn't care- she needed to be hugged by her dad. He was the only person she had left- the only parent who remotely cared about her.

"Claire-what happened?" His voice was so full of concern, it only made more tears come out, more emotion evoke inside her.

But she couldn't begin to tell him anything without telling him everything else, it wouldn't make sense to him. So she shut her eyes tightly and whispered, "Can I move back in?"

He didn't hesitate, "Of course."

It was weird being in her biological father's arms but, at the same time, it was the exact comfort she needed. Claire hadn't known what to feel or expect once she hugged him, but it was odd what came to her at that moment: she felt home.

...

She slept for hours, but it was not enough. For days, Claire ran between sleep and a few hours of consciousness, but she avoided it as much as possible. Every time she woke, it would only bring back memories of what had happened-which immediately caused tears to run down her cheeks and lulled her back into sleep.

Every day, a cart of breakfast would be left at the end of her bed, but she never touched it.

The thought of consuming anything in her state seemed ridiculous. She couldn't even interact with anyone for fear of breaking down in front of them like she had with Nathan.

Claire knew he'd gone to see her, even felt as he tenderly brought her sheets up to cover her back and momentarily rubbed her arm. It was a small gesture, but she was touched by it, and wished she could somehow let him know that she appreciated his concern for her.

The morning came though when she finally woke up. It was two weeks into her stay at the Petrelli mansion, five weeks since Peter had left her.

The claustrophobic sun slid its rays through the window, making its uninvited way towards Claire. Yet this day- the burning light that radiated through the glass and curtains, didn't bring as much pain as the days before. This day felt different, it was as if there might be some hope to the mostly black void that swam through her veins and bones everyday and, for a moment, she forgot what was ailing her and instead concentrated on the pleasant, tingling feeling that the warmth of the sun brought to her skin.

Like every morning, her breakfast was there, but there was something else different about it as well. A yellow, spring dress lay aside at the end of her bed with white heels.

Experience told Claire exactly who had brought it, it couldn't be anyone else other than Angela- well there could be, but she didn't really want to think about that.

Claire's mattress made it difficult to get up, she didn't want to- it had basically become her comfort zone- her permanent residence. But the sun was nice- she was being forgetful, and the dress only encouraged her to get up.

Being on her feet felt strange after so long, almost alien and unnatural- it made her think of what Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" must of felt like. Claire ran her fingers along the material of the dress, sighing. It was pretty, but she couldn't help wondering what Angela had in mind for her that day.

There was a knock at the door and Claire turned to see Angela standing at the doorway, "Good, you're awake. Have you had a chance to eat some breakfast?"

Claire blinked and looked at the poached eggs and toast. It looked appealing, but the thought of eating nauseated her- she couldn't fathom the idea of putting anything in her mouth. In fact, just the thought of eating suddenly sent an urgency through her to throw up. She closed her eyes and breathed in, trying not to think of the food that was in front of her so that she wouldn't gag.

"No, but I'm not hungry."

Angela smiled and walked towards Claire's windows, pushing the curtains aside to let the sun engulf her room with light. Claire had to blink a few times to adjust her eyes to the brightness. Her grandmother turned around to face her again, with the smallest of sincere smiles, "How are you feeling?"

Her boldness didn't exactly surprise Claire, but the question did- coming from Angela.

Her grandmother had never really been one to worry much about her well being, and therefore Claire found it strange that she was being so straight-forward.

After a few moments and a flutter of blinks, Claire swallowed, "Better." It wasn't exactly a lie, because if she forgot about him, about what he'd said to her momentarily, she did feel slightly fine.

"Then you better get dressed, we have a long day ahead."

Claire couldn't help at frown, "We?"

Angela had started walking to her door, but turned abruptly and offered another smile, "Yes, dear. What's so surprising about spending a day with your grandmother?"

Oh, she could have named at least ten things out of her head, but she knew better than that, instead she shook her head and looked back at Angela, "Nothing."

...

The limo ride was silent. Claire couldn't bring herself to say anything, even open her mouth. She was sure it was a combination of lack of energy and the fear that she wasn't strong enough so speak without her voice cracking on her.

"The first thing we should do is fix your hair." Angela let out, whilst she examined the buildings that were passing.

So what if her hair was a mess, and the dye hadn't really made it as dark as she wanted it?  
She didn't want to fix it, didn't have the energy or desire to. It was hair, and it didn't really matter to Claire what it looked like at the moment, "It's ok. I don't care what it looks like."

Angela snickered and shook her head, "You and Peter are so alike."

The statement sent a low-blow to Claire, causing her to shut her eyes and try and blank out what she'd just heard. Hearing his name was hard enough, and having Angela use them both in the same sentence formed a huge knot in Claire's throat.

When Claire didn't say anything back though, Angela continued, "You're both so into this whole self-destructive craze."

Claire scoffed, "We both know I'm not that destructible."

Very delicately, Angela picked off a piece of lint from her perfectly tailored skirt, and turned her head back up to give Claire a bemused smile, "And we also know that's not what I'm talking about, dear." Angela sat up straight and looked to see where they were, "I need you to persuade Peter to move back to New York."

There was a torn feeling inside Claire. She wasn't sure whether to break out in tears, or punch Angela. But she opted for neither, instead finding comfort in the blackness that her closed lids provided as she tried to even her unsteady breathing, "Why do I have to do it?"

Even though her eyes were closed she could feel a smile growing on her grandmother's face, "You have the most stable relationship with him right now, Claire. As you know, Peter and I haven't been close for years now- his relationship with Nathan deteriorated just as he began with the drugs, and Heidi means well- but, we both know that you're the only one that has influence on him. Convince him to move back."

"Angela- I can't right now- I," Claire struggled to find the right words and remain unemotional throughout them.

Her grandmother put her hand up ever so elegantly and offered her another smile, "I know you're dealing with a break-up or- hook up with Andy. But please, Claire, you do not understand the severity of this situation. It's of the upmost importance- for his safety, that he move back."

And there it was, Claire couldn't help at scoff and cross her arms animatedly- turning over to look at Angela, "You actually care about his well-being now? And how do you know?"

The limo halted and Angela pressed a button to talk into it, "Not yet."

She looked back up at Claire and swallowed, "I have made many mistakes that have hurt the people I love in my life, Claire." Angela paused and, for a flicker of a moment, Claire noticed her nose flare, "I could have prevented Peter from starting that fire, I saw it in my dream- I just didn't know what the outcome would be. But this time- I am not going to let that happen."

Unprecedented tears formed in Claire's eyes, and she frowned angrily at the emotional roller-coaster she seemed to be on lately. She could be stronger, and she cursed at herself that she was letting them out in front of Angela. But she couldn't help it either, not when Peter was the subject at hand and the memories of him were so raw and hurtful still.

Angela continued, "You and Peter have had a bond since the night he saved you at your Homecoming game. I need you to use it to help him come back. I know you care about him- he is, after all, your uncle, and if you do- I'm asking you as your grandmother, to please help me save him this time."

Claire wiped her shameful tears away with her hand and scowled, looking at her shoes,  
"Am I suppose to go see him in London or something?"

"Nonsense, Claire. He'll be at the Petrelli Easter brunch next Sunday. Heidi managed to convince him to come to that." She smiled triumphantly at her and pushed the button again to speak to the driver, "We're ready."

...

After a not so pleasant day with her grandmother, in which they had gotten her hair "fixed", shopped, and attempted to have lunch- Claire was more than eager to get back to her refuge. And once she hit her bed, it was incredible just how comforting it was and how at ease it put her to be back.

The thought of having to face Peter again made the lunch she'd eaten with Angela turn in her stomach and make its way back up. The urgency to throw up from thinking of him was so sudden, that Claire barely had time to make her way to the toilet before emptying the few contents within her.

It depressed her how incredibly, physically sick thinking about him could make her now. He was like her sun and kryptonite at the same time, with both the power to make her feel truly invincible, and the power to destroy her.

A knock sounded at her door, but Claire refused to answer, knowing it was probably Angela to bother her again, or even worse- the smothering of Heidi. Instead, Claire closed her eyes as she lay face down on the cooling tile of her floor.

For a few seconds after the door knocked, thinking she was in the clear- she sighed, feeling slightly better than she had earlier. But footsteps soon made their way inside her room hurriedly, and she heard someone open the bathroom door harshly.

"Claire?" It was Andy, bending down to shake her.

She opened her eyes, clearly annoyed, "You know, it's pretty rude to barge into someone's room. What do you want, Andy?"

He fell on his knees, sighing in relief, then turned back up to look at her and poked her, "Don't scare me like that. I thought you were trying to kill yourself."

Claire's eyes welled up with tears again, washing away the anger she'd felt towards him only moments earlier, "It doesn't work. Wrist cutting, poisoning myself-nothing works, Andy." She ended in a whisper.

Andy shook his head, "Oh, God, you're a suicidal immortal."

Her mood changed again, and she scowled at him, "You're a jerk. What happened to the sweet perfect Andy I knew, huh?"

"You're so bitchy. Is it that time of the month, Claire?"

An audible gasp and angry growl escaped her mouth, and she turned to look at the other side of the wall, "No. You're so insensitive to my feelings, Andy. You have no idea how much I hurt, and all you can do is sit there and tell me I'm being a bitch? Has anyone ever broken your heart?"

There was a long pause before Andy continued, "No. I haven't had it broken- mostly because I was never in love with you. But had I been, I certainly would have handled the rejection much better than this. Claire, you aren't doing anything productive. All you do is mope around as if it were the end of the world."

Claire looked at the wallpaper swirls, "Maybe it is to me."

"Oh my God. Could you be anymore emo?"

Emo. The word itself had a lot of meaning. It was used in many instances, but they could not imagine the significance it brought her, and what it reminded her of. From the first moment she'd met Peter, the association he'd had with the word emo had been almost instantaneous. It would have been to anybody who knew him, his empathetic-ness - bangs - thinness and pale complexion.

All of this and more was the reason why Claire broke out in silent sobs and Andy was forced to hug her back, running his hand up and down her back soothingly.

"I forgot, I'm sorry."

Claire shook her head and forced herself to stop crying, "Angela wants me to ask him to come back to New York. How can I?" her voice trembled, "I can't stop myself from crying at just the thought of him. How am I going to be able to face him?"

"Your grandmother wants Peter back in New York? I thought they didn't even speak?"

Claire was thankful that his soothing hands hadn't stopped rubbing her back, she was finding a great deal of comfort in it.

"They don't."

He hadn't answered her question. But Claire figured it was the fact that he didn't even know either. Facing Peter again would be like being burnt at the stake- it was like having to walk on coals- so painful, she wasn't sure she'd be able to live through it- especially once she witnessed how happy he was without her.

As Claire lay on the cool tile floor, she closed her eyes and imagined him in England, imagined his bliss, his smile, and reminded herself that all this was to let him be happy, because this was what he had wanted- and it wasn't her.

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	32. Peter's Side: Hell

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beta'd by Ellie

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Peter's Side: Hell

"Peter- you know how important this Easter is. And despite how things have been in the past, you've never missed one," Heidi reminded me.

My tonsils ached, my head felt like it was going to split in half and my bones felt like they could, and would, break at any moment- I hated the flu.

I'd had it for two weeks, since I had moved to London. I'd been on the Company medication for three, but I had forgotten just how bad the side effect- flu was. Not that it really mattered to me. This time no physical pain could challenge the one I had felt at hearing Claire's thoughts. It was worse than her dying, because she didn't want me, she wanted Andy- she _loved_ Andy. I had heard her say it when I had left her that day, she hadn't said it to me- she didn't love me, she only pitied me.

For some bizarre reason, she had felt that what I had become had somehow been her fault. As if I could ever blame my fuck ups on her. Claire brought me joy and hope, she'd made me happy those months- she'd helped me, and for that I would always be grateful. But I refused to let her help me get my powers back, not when I didn't deserve them.

"Peter? Are you still there?" Heidi asked worriedly.

I knew what she was thinking, that my slow responses had to do with drugs- I didn't have to be able to read minds to know that. In a way, she was right, because the medication was a cocktail of drugs they gave me to slowly eliminate the powers that had come back, but I didn't plan on taking them permanently this time. It was only long enough so that they would never come back. Then I would stop taking them completely- I really would.

"I'm here," I murmured, rubbing my eyes open to try and give her the attention she deserved, even if she was thousands of miles away. Not that it was really working, because they closed all on their own again, instead picturing a certain blonde smiling, kissing me- my mouth twitched. I forced my eyes open again to look at the empty walls- my less than homey apartment, because all I really had was a mattress. I didn't see the point in making it more comfortable, not when it would never compare to having Claire close to me in New York every night.

I shook my head unwillingly and sighed, licking my lips, "Look-Heidi- I have a lot of work that day." The medicine also clouded my ability to think competently sometimes, which, in this case, made me fucked.

On the other side of the phone, I imagined Heidi massaging her temples and biting her lip, "Please, Peter? We're only asking you to join us for one day . Granted- If you could stay the entire weekend, it would be marvelous, but one day isn't much to ask, is it?"

It was though. It was one day that I was sure Claire would be there. One day that I'd have to endure Andy's hands all over her- _one_ fucking day- that would probably make me want to kill myself when, considering all the facts about my life and what I'd basically forced Claire into- I deserved to do anyway. But then again, if I did that, it would satisfy me and I didn't even deserve the desire to kill myself because I deserved nothing.

I blinked, suddenly realizing I had to go. It would hurt me- I needed that. I needed to punish myself. I would never tell my mom or Nathan what I had confused and forced Claire into- for her sake. And since they couldn't justifiably give me hell, I would make sure to put myself through it, even if it damaged me beyond repair. Because Claire was happy now. She was with who she wanted to be, and if seeing me truly made them happy, while it made me miserable, then that's what I would do.

I closed my eyes and swallowed, "OK. I'll be there. I promise."

...

Envy wasn't something I'd experienced many times in my life. I'd actually only ever felt it twice. One was obviously Andy, because he had Claire's true love and affection, and because he was blessed enough not to be related to her. That was the more logical one. But this envy that I felt now had completely caught me off guard.

Adam, despite his more than shady past, was a good man, an excellent agent and a friend I would have never expected to gain. He deserved the happiness he had with Maya- he really did. So why was I suddenly so jealous of him? I knew for a fact that it wasn't that I had mysteriously attracted to her, and jealous of him because he had her- no, it wasn't that. The more I thought of why I was jealous, the more it scared me.

He had love. Soon, he'd have a family and he had forever- which meant he and Claire were bound to cross paths and be friends. As I looked at Maya talking happily and smiling at Adam, I wondered if she knew. Did she realize that eventually she would die and Adam would carry on with his immortal life?

The thoughts, questions, speculations overwhelmed me, especially when the medication clouded me so much that the thoughts scared me into putting my head between my knees to try and calm my erratic heartbeat and breathing. Adam had said Maya couldn't be put through stress, the last thing I wanted to tell her was that her boyfriend would move on after she'd died. I could almost picture her eyes going black and killing me.

Damn. That was tempting.

"Peter? Are you ok?" Adam asked me, taking notice of how awkwardly positioned I was on his couch.

I didn't lift my head up, but nodded, "I just need my medication. It's home- so- I should go now."

I got up, feeling two pairs of eyes on me, watching my every move. The truth was, I didn't need my medication- I just needed to be alone, without having to watch their love for each other, and without the temptation of making Maya angry enough to accidentally kill me. But then again, there was nothing wrong with drowning myself into incomprehension of any form- to the point were thoughts weren't even an option and I became a vegetable.

Yeah, ok, I wasn't really making much sense already.

"Peter-" by the look on his face, I knew what was coming, "I don't think this is the wisest thing for you to do. Remember what it led to before Claire showed up?" Even before he'd finished his sentence, he knew he'd said the wrong thing.

I shook my head, "This isn't like that. And she has nothing to do with this. This is all me this time, Adam. I don't want them because of me, and I'm only using them until I'm sure the powers are permanently gone-that's it."

So I was lying again, but so what? It was easier this way for everyone. I wouldn't have powers- I'd let both Adam and Claire believe that I was more than content with my decision and, most importantly, they would be at ease, and Claire would be sublimely happy with that Texas accented, diner working boyfriend of hers.

Sometimes my psychotic inner genius surprised me.

"Are you sure you're OK?" He asked me with his perfect English accent.

I grinned, "Perfect." Yes, I was also the biggest and greatest pathological liar the world had ever met.

...

The only real thing of furniture I had was a mattress in my bedroom. It was all I needed, apart from my music and an endless supply of cigarettes.

After a nice handful of different pills and a half hour- the ceiling was suddenly very attractive. It was wondrous how they made the paint stay up in the first place. I wondered how they made it sticky and I also wondered how they came up with the term paint- I wondered many things.

I closed my eyes for the briefest moment and saw her. I pictured her eating the pasta we'd gotten in Italy, and how amazing she'd looked that night.

A brief wave of emotions ran through me. I hurt- badly- it made me smile though. I needed to punish myself with thoughts that brought me the nostalgia of Claire. I blinked and she was gone- just like that.

I guess if I was a real person with real feelings I would cry, but I wasn't. I hadn't cried at all lately, or at all these past years. It was like the human inside of me was gone, which made perfect sense as to why Claire couldn't love _me_ instead of Andy. Every time his name passed through my mind, I wanted nothing more than to strangle him, which was weird coming from me- 'cause, you know me, I was all about world peace and butterflies.

Honestly, I just wanted her abilities out of my body. I wanted to be able to get hurt and not heal- I just wanted to be a normal, formally super hero model. Was that really too much to ask? All of that got me started thinking though, were they already gone? I supposed I could inflict self-mutilation just as an experiment to see if I was normal. There was nothing wrong with testing science or some crap, right?

No, there wasn't, I told myself as I stood up, feeling extremely lightheaded. This was all in the name of science. Mohinder would be proud of me. Maybe one day I could even be, like, his lab assistant- I would let him experiment on me, as long as it didn't involve getting any powers back, I just wanted to be his lab rat.

I know I'd been there for weeks already, and I should have had pots and pans, but the idea of cooking seemed so distant and impossible. Actually, when I pulled out a drawer, I was surprised to find a knife. I shrugged- figured, all I'd find in the kitchen was a knife.

My first thought was just to stab it in my stomach, but then if I didn't have Claire's ability- which I hoped for, then I'd probably die. No- scratch that- I'd definitely die, and that wasn't what this was about. What I was doing was merely an experiment. The only other logical place to test it was my wrist.

When I was younger, I'd seen many TV shows, learned about it in school, knew what cutting your wrists meant. And I admit, I'd been freaked out with the idea for a long time- wondered how thousands of people could hurt themselves like that and why. It's not like things could get so bad to the point where you thought hurting yourself would bring some type of relief. I'd thought the whole idea to be completely unnecessary and stupid- I'd been naive.

The blade was cold against my skin, the pressure was exhilarating- because I wanted nothing more than to prove to myself that her power was gone. Because, see, having someone's ability was like having a part of them- and having Claire's...well, that hurt more than I could possibly explain out loud. It pained me knowing I carried a part of her around with me all the time. I didn't want a part of her if I couldn't have her- it was plain and simple.

The pain was nothing, and I watched as blood seeped out from my open wound. I guess I'd cut a little too deep, but I was new at this, how did you know where and how deep to cut yourself as an experiment, anyway? It wouldn't stop either, which sent me mixed feelings. I didn't know if I was suppose to be happy anymore, or miserable at the fact that her power was gone and I was probably going to be left with a huge scar. And that would not make Adam happy- apparently, people liked my skin?

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?"

My dear sociopath friend, Elle. At least I knew I was stuck with her until I'd die. Maybe I could make her mad and have her electrocute me? As crazy as she was, I somehow knew she wouldn't do it. She was cruel like that.

I frowned at her, "Huh?"

I'd seen her serious before, but she looked completely shocked, as if her grandmother had just died or something- oh, by the way, she had killed her grandmother- by accident.

When she ran towards me, I'll admit, I got scared. I thought she was going to hurt me or something, sometimes she got off on sparking me a bit, nothing that would show though- Adam had let her know once, after he'd seen my bruised stomach, that she couldn't play that hard with me- so leaving any marks was off limits to her.

She bent down and grabbed my arm carefully, gawking at the blood that kept coming out, "Peter, what have you done?"

Something came to me then. I'd never given her a key. Come to think of it, she'd never had a key to my old apartment in New York either, yet she'd always come in without breaking the door. It was all really weird.

I frowned, "How did you get in?"

Tiny sparks came off Elle's fingers and she rolled her eyes at me. Lately, she had the weirdest behavior around me, it was like she cared or something. I didn't want her to care, it's not like I really cared about her. Her humanity towards me always caught me off guard- its like for a second, I would see that she had feelings.

Maybe she had another ability that took feelings away from people so she could have them herself, because that would explain a lot about how I felt empty.

"Why did you cut yourself?" Her fingers grazed my wound, blood getting on them. She seemed indifferent to the blood though, or maybe like she liked it, because she was looking at my hand adoringly. Her voice was even soft, not its usual mocking tone.

I looked down at my arm, "To see if she was gone."

A wave of such potent hurt made its way to me then. It was so strong that it almost knocked me out unconscious. Only Claire would ever have the ability to make me hurt so much, to make me wish I had never met her, so I wouldn't know that missing her could hurt so much. Why had I been so stupid as to listen to a Japanese guy to tell me to save a cheerleader?

I just wished I could turn back time right then and maybe only know the heartbreak of not being loved by Simone instead. Because I was more than sure that her rejection would never come anywhere near as close as Claire's.

Elle took my face in the palm of her hands, getting blood on my cheeks, and studied me. The whole situation was bizarre; she wasn't herself, I'd rather have the crazy Elle I knew. That one would have played with my wound and even made it worse- maybe.

"Peter. Where's the bottle of medicine I gave you?" she asked slowly, as if I was retarded.

With my free hand, I took the empty prescription bottle of my pocket and handed it to her. She dropped her hands from my face and snatched it, "You finished them? I told you the only condition in which you could take them was if you took them correctly and you said you would!"

I couldn't help it, I chuckled, "And you believed me?"

Not in a thousand years would I have expected what happened next, she pounded my chest angrily, but made sure not to shock me, tears forming in her eyes, "I didn't want this to happen to you again! It's all her fault isn't it? It's because of her."

I didn't answer. What would I say, that it wasn't? Well, it was, but I didn't want to say that. I wanted to try and sleep off some of my newly formed insanity in the hope that I'd wake up tomorrow and be back where I was nine months ago, when Claire was far away in Texas and oblivious to my existence. Then I could go on living in misery, without knowing how her rejection felt.

"This doesn't have anything to do with her. I-just- I want things to go back to the way they were before she came back." It was a struggle to let it out, because that wasn't really true- deep down, I didn't, I just wanted her to love me. But it was what Elle wanted to hear, and to make her happy- to have her on my side again- that's what I had to say.

...

When Adam saw my arm a few days later, it was worse than how my dad yelled at me the time I dressed up in my mom's clothes and jewelry. That had been one of the worst experiences of my childhood and, after that, my dad despised me. I think that's why he actually cut me off as soon as I was eighteen and invested all his time and money into Nathan instead.

Which was a good choice, of course, because Nathan was always destined to follow in my father's crooked footsteps.

"What in the bloody hell were you thinking, Peter? Look at you, you're stoned!" He raged on, throwing his arms around and making stupid faces.

I just sat there, trying not to laugh. I had already explained to him that I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I had only cut myself to see if the powers had gone away, and they had- there was no reason to get worried over it.

My lips were dry, so I licked them. They didn't taste like cherry anymore. When I was with Claire, they'd always tasted like cherry chap-stick, I missed that, "I'm not stoned. It's just the medicine, I told you. And I just- It was just-it's nothing. Get over it."

Apparently I'd said the wrong thing, because Adam got so red that he actually-literally, resembled a tomato, "That's it. I'm calling, Claire. This is ridiculous- she's the only one that can control you."

"_No_. Don't. She has nothing with this- We broke up, Adam, I told you. I- just- I wanted to see if the powers were gone." I didn't want to specify who's power I hoped was gone either, saying her name burnt my mouth and made my throat go dry, making me miss her more.

He fell against his chair and shook his head, "Why don't you want your powers, Peter? Why do you hate them so much?"

Did he really have to ask that? It all led back to her. She was the poignant moment in my life, what everything revolved around- and whether she knew it or not, I lived for her.

Every decision I had made since I had met her was to make her happy. It didn't matter how it would hurt me, as long as she was ok, then everything else was fine.

"I've told you before, Adam. I never want to run the risk of losing control of my powers and hurting someone, like I did that day with Claire and the fire. I just can't let something like that happen again. I don't trust myself with them- I can't control them."

I put a hand through my ridiculously long hair. I hated how long it was, I really didn't even bother brushing it. I just simply left it messy- which worked for most of my hair stylists on shoot sets.

For a second, I thought he'd say some snide comment back about how I was just selfish, but he didn't. I could hear the voices of the stylist coming to get me ready for the photo shoot. I didn't even know what it was for, things seemed to be blending lately into one big carousal, and I was unable to stop it or take a breath.

I wanted to work as much as I could. I didn't want to have time to sit and think, or rest- I told Adam that I didn't want days off, and even on the plane rides, I refused to sleep. I didn't want to listen to music anymore, I just wanted to be able to forget and be a robot again.

Elle said she wouldn't help me, she said she didn't want to be an accomplice anymore, and when I'd told Adam that, he said that I should date her. Date? As I could even feel that way towards another girl anymore. My life would be pointless to my last breath- the only thing that would make it worth living was doing anything possible to make Claire happy without having to face her much.

I would do everything in a state where I wouldn't have to feel; I would just be numb. I wanted to be completely detached from the world completely- not ever feel again.

Feeling got you hurt, and that's where I contradicted myself, because I didn't want to hurt, but I deserved it and wanted to punish myself.

I laughed, making Adam frown, and held my face in my palms again with my elbows on my knees, amused by my erratic thinking. Claire had successfully driven me insane- because I didn't even make sense to myself anymore, and if I couldn't understand myself, it only meant that I must have really been out of it to everyone else.

"Peter, are you ok?"

No, not really. Or maybe I was, but I just didn't realize it. I only nodded my head so that he'd be at ease, I didn't' want to cause him more stress- apparently I was stressing him out, that's what Maya had told me. Then another thought came to me. What if I simply got another agent? I was sure that he needed rest. I was too much for him to handle.

That was it. It all clicked. I needed to get away from everyone. I needed to take stress off of everyone by distancing myself. It was so utterly, unbelievably clear to me, that I wanted to hit myself for not figuring it out before.

It was a plan. I would make a cameo on Sunday to visit my family. I would, until then, do my best to not stress Adam out, and after that, I was going to cut ties with everyone, including Elle.


	33. Part XXVIII

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**  
Part XXVIII

With Nathan's persistent insistence, Claire decided to go back to her classes. It was something she wasn't particularly looking forward to, but it was better than moping around the Petrelli mansion with Heidi watching her every move and trying to comfort her. Yet, her hesitance had only doubled when she'd heard the high pitched voices of Amber and Ashley.

Of course, she knew the first thing that she should have expected was the mention of his name and the never-ending gossip that always surrounded Peter. It really seemed like there was endless news about him and everything he did- or had done - since he had left her. Apparently he had been busy all over London, partying with random celebrities- most of whom she had no clue about.

That day, she sat behind the two brainless bimbos- as she had discovered they were. There was something different about the way they looked at her and their overall attitude, they even greeted her differently as she took her seat. They quietened down from their frantic gossip and turned to look at her once before Amber whispered something to Ashley, "You ask her!"

Whatever it was, Claire knew for a fact that she didn't want to know or participate in their conversation. It would all lead back to Peter, which would eventually lead back to the crazed, distraught and empty void he'd left in her. And just the thought of that, of course, made her throat swell up and hurt as she fought the urge to cry.

Ashley broke her away from her thoughts with the sudden turn of her head, "You know, it would have been really nice if you had told us."

There was a slight hint of annoyance in her voice, but it was, overall, a difficult attempt at being civil, Claire could see that. It didn't, however, take the complete confusion away from Claire. What were they going on about this time? Or maybe, she thought to herself, they were still hung-over the fact that she had 'spent the night' at his apartment on  
Halloween night, like she'd confessed so long ago.

Whatever the case really was, Claire blinked and frowned, dumbfound at them, "What are you talking about?"

Amber rolled her eyes and flipped her hair back . It instantly reminded Claire of Amber from the movie "Clueless," that she'd seen many times with Andy. Actually, the resemblance between both Amber's was quite frightening.

"Here we were going on about the absolute hottest guy in the world, showing you pictures, talking about my silly lunch with him, and you're sitting right behind us the whole time! I mean, _hello_, you could have mentioned you were a Petrelli and that he was your uncle!"

As if to add momentum to Amber's outburst, Ashley slammed a Times Magazine in front of her. The front cover had Nathan, Heidi, the boys, Angela, and her with a brilliant smile she hadn't remembered having in the first place. She frowned, trying to recall just when the picture had been taken that afternoon. The cover of the magazine was even astonishingly intimidating as it read, "The Petrellis".

Studying it more, Claire thought it was pretty perfect text, the black screamed out threats- which total fit the Petrelli gang. Not to mention Claire was pretty sure her dear, loving grandmother had put it all together in the first place.

With both girls still watching her and the cover of the page in her face to shock her, Claire was quite speechless when she opened her mouth to say something. After a few more seconds, trying to take in the fact that her face was plastered on a magazine that was, without a doubt, on news stands all over the country, Claire swallowed, "Oh, um, sorry?"

Neither of the girls waited for her to say anything else, but instead , they erupted in giggles and endless questions, "So you, like, really lost your memory for four years?"

Claire blinked again and licked her lips, "Wait, how do you know-?" But Amber was quick to point at the magazine with a huge smile.

"So you're really close to Peter?" By the way she had blurted it out, Claire could tell that that was really all they cared about. Gaining as much information as they possibly could about her- handsome, long banged, supermodel uncle. It was also a topic Claire didn't want to touch for obvious reasons.

"Actually, we don't speak much," she mumbled, looking down at her psychology textbook and trying to desperately pay attention to the print instead of picturing his beautiful face- which of course turned out to be a complete failure. She could see everything from his silken, black bangs that fell down the front of his face to the imperfection of his rose-pink lips. He smiled slowly and let his lip fall to the corner of his mouth, as he spoke slow and wonderful things to her. Claire shut her eyes fiercely and shut out all thoughts of him completely.

Both girls stared strangely at her, but didn't press further. Instead, Ashley slammed down another magazine in front of her- a completely different one though. It was a thick copy of Men's Vogue Magazine. And of course, he was gracing the cover with his incredibly good looks. There was a smile- or maybe more of a smirk plastered on his face that she couldn't describe, but he looked radiant. It was actually quite hard to explain how happy he looked- so much, that it hurt her. The cover of the magazine didn't help either, which read, "The new, improved, finally happy- Peter Petrelli."

"Ok, I know this is going to sound a little weird, but I have to know if the girl he's talking about is me," Amber let out, a little breath taken as she looked at the cover herself.

The page was already marked so that Claire easily opened it to see another picture of him that took up the whole page. The picture was black and white, and he was in a simple dress shirt, with his bangs falling gracefully to cover half of his face and with a tie in his mouth as a decoration. He looked so good in fact, that Claire had stopped breathing completely in fear that, if she did, she would burst out into unstoppable tears.

With much difficulty, Claire tore her eyes from his face and instead directed them towards the text in front of her...

_It's a rainy Saturday morning that I usually spend at the gym. But this morning, I agreed to break away form my rigorous workout with my trainer at a chance to interview the notorious, bad boy supermodel that everyone seems to want a piece of._

_As he walks into Starbucks where I'm eagerly awaiting him, it's easy to see that he stands out. Most would instantly say it's his trademark bangs, but it's much more than that. It's his mere aura that makes all the heads in the coffee house turn to look at the bombshell that is quickly approaching me. He sits down, gracefully, it's hard to imagine him doing anything but that, and immediately takes out a cigarette stating that his yet-to-be-known girlfriend isn't a fan of him smoking._

_That's not the only thing that's changed about him, it seems now that the formally regularly drug-induced Peter has been left behind, all thanks to the new lady in his life, whom he proclaims is the love of his life. So our interview begins..._

_MVogue: You look a lot better than the last time I saw you. Is this all thanks to that mysterious girl you keep locked up?_

_PP: It's definitely to do with her. She's been the best thing that could have possibly happened to me._

_MVogue: So is it safe to say that you guys are pretty serious now?_

_PP: ( smiles as he listens to the question) You could say that._

_MVogue: Any clue on who she is? Your fans are dying to know who this mysterious girl that tamed and managed to change everything about you is._

_PP: I'm actually letting her reveal that. We're waiting until she's ready to let everyone know._

_MVogue: Fair enough. So can you tell us a little about the new Chanel campaign you did a couple months back while you were in Paris?_

_PP: Well, Karl asked me if I would accept being the face of the new Chanel men's line, and I couldn't turn down the offer. The line should make its debut next winter, though what we shot was merely promotional, we didn't use any of the new clothing that will be revealed._

_MVogue: There were rumors going around that at the shoot there was a certain "blonde" that you were getting really close to- could this be the same girl you are intent on keeping away from us?_

_PP: ( He frowns, and smiles nervously- we all know what a terrible actor, Mr. Petrelli is) No. I was being accompanied by my niece._

_MVogue: Oh! Is the same niece that made a spontaneous come back from the dead, and came back to your brother, Senator Nathan Petrelli?_

_PP: (looks around the room) Yes. We were trying to get caught up, and I invited her to Paris since she was on break from NYU._

_MVogue: Speaking of family, your brother is running for office. If elected, it would make him the youngest President to date. How do you feel about this?_

_PP: (smiling) I don't speak politics._

_MVogue: Then is it safe to assume that the estrangement with your family is actually true?_

_PP: No. I support my brother, but I don't think I'm qualified to talk about politics- I leave that to Nathan. Just as he isn't qualified, or would, talk about modeling- it's not his thing. While we may argue and not see eye to eye on some things we still, and will always, support each other._

_MVogue: You know, that's a very political answer from someone who doesn't speak politics._

_PP: When you're raised in a family as mine, you're bound to pick up a thing or two. But since when did Vogue become so political?_

_MVogue: Ah! But you forget, this is Men's Vogue- making even politics inevitable. We like to talk about other things too though, like music- we hear you're a big music geek._

_PP: I am. For a while, right before I turned to this modeling gig, all I basically did was buy albums and sit at home listening to them._

_MVogue: So is it true you have an entire room dedicated to CD's and Albums? What type  
of music do you like?_

_PP: I think music is the second love of my life- something else that I want to keep private._

_MVogue: So, as always, you prefer to remain the mysterious Petrelli? Is there one album you would like to share with us though? One you believe everyone should listen to?_

_PP: Yes- Some people have real problems._

_That's the last thing he says before he smiles and walks out. Only Peter Petrelli can effectively shy away from answering every single question, while still maintaining a charm and gentlemanly manner to him as he does it._

After she was finished reading the interview, Claire put down the magazine slowly, letting her eyes concentrate on a small corner of it as a feeble attempt to remain stoic.

Though the interview was shot and he had been secretive about most things- there was still a lot that Claire had read between the lines. There was so much that was obvious about Peter that she'd never really noticed.

Still, Amber was patiently awaiting her answer, "I-don't- I," but she couldn't finish, because thinking of Peter brought back that wave of nausea that she was unable to get away from lately.

Just thinking of him made her so sick to her stomach that she couldn't eat or even look at food. Things that she would have normally been happy to stuff her face with made her turn her head and pray that the episode would pass.

But this time it wouldn't. And the hot aroma that came from Ashley's coffee pushed her over the edge. She didn't say anything as she stood up, ran out of the classroom, and barely made it in time to puke her guts out into the toilet.

The ironic thing was that she couldn't remember ingesting anything to begin with. She'd been equally nauseous in the morning to begin with, and had decided that the best thing to do would be to leave her stomach empty - to be on the safe side.

After what seemed like more than a sufficient time to empty her insides, Claire walked out, holding her stomach and desperately trying not to think of his name. That was the source of everything, the main cause of her stomach always turning against her. Not that she'd be able to avoid mentions of him- since she would undoubtedly have to go back to class with the very source that had caused her to get ill.

Only, when she stepped out of the bathroom, there was someone else there to take her mind completely off the illness-causing topic; Andy.

He had her things in hand and had a bright smile as he looked at her, "Want to go for lunch?"

...

Claire was still in a haze as they walked towards the cafeteria, wondering how and when Andy had collected her things and known where she would be. If she hadn't been sure he was a complete fruit cake, she would have pegged him down for some sort of a stalker.

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked as he pulled out her chair for her and handed her a plate that he'd filled up when she hadn't answered his questions of what she wanted to eat. When she looked down at what he'd picked out, it didn't surprised her that nothing caught her eye.

Andy's eyes lingered at another table for a few seconds, forcing her to look in the same direction. There was a tall, dark haired, emo-looking boy that seemed to be staring at her. The very thought of someone like that looking at her made Claire scowl, because- another dark-haired emo boy was the very last thing she needed after all.

"Well, I went to pick you up after class and you weren't there. So these two girls- who were really stupid, I might add- told me you had left your stuff and that you looked like you were going to be sick."

Claire rolled her eyes and took her bottle of water, not knowing exactly why it was that the mention of the girls annoyed her so much. It wasn't like they were any different from any other day. Though, if she had to think about it, them showing her those magazines did have something to do with her foul mood.

"So what was it, Claire? You're not turning bulimic on me, are you?" He asked, taking a bite of his hot dog, another thing that instantly grossed her out to such a degree that she honestly did feel like the non-existent food in her stomach was ready to come out.

She looked away and swallowed, desperately trying to avoid the acidic fluid forming in her throat, "You do know that hot dogs are one of the worst things you could eat, right?"

Andy rolled his eyes and simply took another huge bite from the food in front of him, taking in all the hot dog, "Well, it tastes good."

"You killed my appetite."

Claire stood up from her seat and grabbed her things, momentarily making eye contact with the dark haired guy sitting only a few tables away. She didn't notice though, that as she stood up, so did he, slowly following her trail to the garbage can, where she disposed of the un-eaten food on her tray.

"Um, excuse me," she heard someone clear their throat behind her. When she turned around, she wished she hadn't, for it was that same dark haired guy, smiling hugely at her as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Claire didn't bother hiding her annoyance when she turned to look at the guy, "Look, you're wasting your time."

The guy's eyes got huge and she noticed a small frown grow on his face, "He's straight?"

She stopped in midair as she was turning and frowned at him this time, not really following what he was talking about. Of course she was straight, there was no doubt in her mind about that, but then again she wasn't a he, and he said 'he'.

It clicked then. Claire turned to look at where she'd been sitting- Andy still sat there. The only reason why he was even talking to her was because of Andy. He was completely gay and not interested in her at all- and when she had thought he was staring at her, it had actually been Andy who he had been looking at.

Taking all of that into account, Claire blushed and smiled at the guy, "His name is Andy, and no, he's totally not straight."

"I'm West by the way," he extended his hand out to her.

Claire took it and shoot it, "Claire." Looking at him clearly now, she didn't know how she hadn't realized that he was gay. Everything about him basically screamed it out. And when she took his hand, she couldn't help noticing just how soft it was, like he used moisturizer on a daily basis. She fought hard from forming the thought, but she had to admit, it reminded her of Peter and how his hands would always be the softest hands she'd ever felt, by far.

When she looked over at Andy again, he was looking in their direction with a perplexed expression, easily assuming the worst, probably. Claire smiled up at West, "Would you like to meet him?"

The smile that spread on his face was absolutely the most joyous and sincere that Claire had seen in a long time. He nodded enthusiastically as Claire led the way toward the table where Andy was slowly sipping on his diet coke.

"Andy, this is West. West- this is my best friend, Andy," she explained to the both of them. Yet, neither were paying attention as she introduced them, they were too busy gazing into each other's eyes. They both looked absolutely struck with infatuation. It was such a personal stare that she felt like she was intruding.

"You're in my ancient history class, right?" Andy asked, not taking his eyes off of a tall, nervous West.

West seemed unable to talk though, and merely nodded whilst maintaining his goofy smile. His overwhelmed look reminded her somewhat of her own whenever she had been stuck staring dreamily at Peter. Only now, just thinking of him caused her tonsils to constrict in pain and blocked the air supply into her lungs. Her eyes filled with tears the more she thought of how that had once been a look that she and Peter had shared.

For the second time, she grabbed her things, not bothering to say goodbye, knowing by experience that they wouldn't know that she was gone, and left the table as quickly as possible.

...

Only five days were left until Sunday- until her confrontation with Peter. All the while, she hoped, even tried, not to break down again. It seemed like the closer the day got, the more sensitive she got towards everything, and the more grossed out everything made her- that she'd even, shockingly, lost weight.

She hadn't even been the one to notice anything though, the one who had actually said something had been Heidi, on that Tuesday morning. When Claire had gone down the stairs with her slightly baggy jeans and t-shirt on, Heidi had instantly frowned, "Claire, are you sick?"

Sick? She, from experience and knowledge, knew that was clearly impossible. But that didn't stop Heidi from instantly walking toward her and putting her palm on her forehead, checking her temperature. Even though Heidi looked worried, Claire was confident her body temperature was, as always, perfect.

She shook her head and swallowed back her slight wooziness, "No, I can't get sick." As she said that though, Claire felt her body betray her as she took a step away from the stairs, and everything before her went dark, nearly falling in the process.

Heidi caught her just in time before she fell over and helped her sit down on the nearest couch, "Have you eaten anything lately, Claire? You look like you're starved." Heidi examined her further, "You know, Peter isn't the only one in this family that was in the medical field. I actually went to medical school, but never practiced it, thanks to Nathan."

"Really?" She tried ignoring the magical word, instead concentrated on what she'd said afterwards.

Heidi nodded, but didn't seem to be thinking about that, frowning, "When was the last time you ate, Claire?"

"Um- yesterday afternoon? I haven't been able to keep much down lately," she sighed, thinking of the reason why, which strangely didn't cause her to gag right there. She guessed that had much to do with the fact that there wasn't any tiny particle of food in her body left to throw up.

With a stern look, Heidi held her arms and looked into her eyes, "Claire, have you been purposely making yourself sick?"

Purposely making her self throw up? She hadn't ever thought of the notion, it had never even crossed her mind. In high school she had taken health classes and learned all about self-mutilation and over all Claire knew she wasn't in any way into that, "Heidi- if you're suggesting that I have an eating disorder- I don't."

"If you do, you know, you can tell me, right? I'll help you through it, Claire-"

"I swear to you- I do not have an eating disorder. Who knows, it might just be an evolved form of the flu that I have been able to contract?" But even as she said it, Claire knew it was impossible. Mohinder had assured her that the only possible way for Claire to ever get sick would be if she contracted the Shanti Virus, and that was, thankfully, hidden away somewhere deep inside 'The Company' walls. Besides, Claire was pretty sure that if she had gotten the Shanti virus, millions of people would have been dying around her first.

Instead of nodding and agreeing with her, Heidi cocked her head to the side, studying Claire closely. Her eyes moved all over her, maybe seeing for herself if she really had the flu. But the weird smile on her face told Claire that somehow that wasn't what was crossing Heidi's mind.

Heidi furrowed her eyebrows and let her eyes grow as they made their way back to Claire's own eyes, "Claire- are you- pregnant?"

The word alone was like a slap in the face, but a ridiculously funny one- so funny that Claire couldn't help but laugh, "Pregnant? No, there's no way-" only, as painful, yet beautiful memories slithered in front of her mind, the possibility multiplied, and everything behind it suddenly faded. She completely passed out in shock.

* * *

**Note:** So, I contemplated the whole 'possible pregnancy' a lot before I wrote this, because I've already written Claire pregnant in Indifference, and RA/Desole. But, I'm taking a different direction with this, and whether or not she's pregnant, you'll find out in the next chapter. Thanks to all the reviewers, you guys are awesome! and **Ellie**, she's the best beta ever! :D


	34. Part XXIX

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XXIX

The crown molding in her room was 'Princess Ivory'. Claire remembered that Heidi had insisted upon the color when she'd first moved into the Petrelli mansion- it all seemed liked ages ago now. It baffled her how something as insignificant as the color of a room mattered anymore, when she was intricately sewn into a web completely full of mess.

Heidi had volunteered and insisted to go and get a pregnancy test, even though Claire had repeatedly told her that she couldn't possibly be pregnant. It was a lie- there was, because the more she thought about it, the more she realized how incredibly stupid they had both been. Never once had they ever used a condom. It was like the thought had never even crossed their minds, and their ignorance now completely baffled her.

All normal couples would have instantly thought about that first, and would have made sure they had some type of contraceptive. But them? They had never even spoken about it. Their obsession for each other had been so deep- so intense, that they had never really had time to stop and think rationally about what they were doing.

The sudden, persistent knocking on her door made her turn her head and breathe in deeply, trying to shred all thoughts of every one of their encounters out of her head. Claire tucked her hair behind her ear and swallowed as she opened her door to reveal a smiling Heidi with a pregnancy-test-box. That's when it happened, all the nervous flustering in her stomach again- from how incredibly realistic it was all suddenly becoming.

Nine months ago she'd been in Odessa, Texas with the perfect boyfriend and no worries in the world. Nine months back- she was still a virgin, she was oblivious to the fact that she had a supermodel uncle- whom she was completely in love with, and she had been happy and content that way. Claire hated that mere thought in her head, but knew that if she had the option- she'd take it all back, to swim in the bliss of her amnesia. It was just easier not to remember- it was better for everyone if things were still that way.

"I- I don't really think I need it, Heidi," she let out, noticing how extremely dry her throat was. She did however, know she needed the test, just didn't want Heidi to be there to notice the awful results, in case they were awful.

Her stepmother shook her head and closed the door behind her, guiding Claire towards the bathroom and shoving the box into her hands, "Claire, I know you're afraid, but you have to face the results. If you're pregnant, we'll work together to see what the best thing for you to do is, OK?"

Again, Claire tried to nod her head, but it was more as if she were shivering than anything else. She wasn't sure if she could face a life altering result like that, not something that could not only complicate things for her, but for Peter and the family as well. That was another thing, Peter already had problems with the Petrellis, and she couldn't imagine just how worse they would get once the awful truth was out- that is, if it was awful.

Once the door was closed, Claire considered her options. She could stay in the bathroom to a point in which Heidi would get tired and leave. She could always accidentally break the test- anything actually sounded better than facing the possibility of an illegitimate pregnancy.

The box shook in her shivering hands. She slowly pulled it open with her small fingers and took out the test, analyzing what could possibly be the doom of her.

She gazed at the result of what she said, wondering how to feel- other than complete uncertainty of everything. She'd shown Heidi, who'd squeezed her arm, and smiled softly.  
"Sometimes you can't always trust at home pregnancy tests, Claire. You should go to an actual doctor, to get another test done- just in case. The results could be completely wrong, you never know."

Taking the test herself had been hard enough. She didn't want to have to face someone else about the matter. The whole subject, quite frankly, was like having the uncomfortable sex talk with her dad when she'd gotten into high school. It was like the idea of having to face Peter at the Easter Sunday family brunch- all things she obviously didn't want to do, for obvious reasons.

But, whether she liked it or not, they were all things that had to be done. She had to be brave and face them, because no one was going to do them for her- they couldn't. It's not like she had her mom to confide in anymore, or Lyle to blame for breaking something. All of a sudden, Claire became overwhelmingly aware of just how much she missed her adoptive family, even Noah.

Sure, it had been years since she had heard from them, but they were still with her, even though she knew they didn't remember her- and she had the Haitian to thank for that. Claire knew that having her mom there and being in the same situation wouldn't make much of a difference, the problem would still be the same. But she also knew that simply having her presence and her comforting words would make her feel better.

Claire nodded to Heidi to let her know that she was listening. Whether or not she'd go get a test done by a professional, she wasn't sure. Besides, the result of the test was already sinking in already.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Claire froze at the thought of Heidi tagging along with her to go witness the truth- to just be there with her.

She shook her head and swallowed, starting to feel slightly sick at the whole situation- feeling completely dirty that she was even in that predicament, all because of Peter- which nauseated her more so that she had to close her eyes, "No, it's ok."

Heidi's hand caressed her hair, "Claire, I should go. That way you have some moral support when you go."

Again, Claire shook her head and Heidi sighed, "Well then- you should take Andy at least."

"Why should I take Andy?" The blurted words sounded kind of foreign to her, not like her voice at all.

The reason for his name came then. Of course she would suggest Andy, he was the only one who could or could not have possibly gotten her into that mess, or so Heidi believed. Claire momentarily wondered what her reaction would be if she actually knew the truth. What would she say if she knew that Peter had been the martyr? Her fallen angel and retired hero that she'd held on such a high pedestal?

The idea of telling Heidi the truth was like telling Angela to her face that she was a bitch- it simply wasn't going to happen. And though the entire family knew she'd dumped Andy for some mysterious guy- it wasn't like she could use that "unknown" person as an alibi. It was either Andy or she was undoubtedly- fucked.

Claire retracted and nodded her head to her stepmother, giving her what she wanted, safety from the truth and a complete, believable lie. There was an uncomfortable knot in her throat- it seemed lately like it had permanently taken residence there.

She sighed, annoyed with her stray thoughts and permanent state of unhealthiness, "OK, I'll take Andy with me."

.....

"I'm sorry- what?" Andy asked for the second time, cocking his head to the side in an all too familiar way, so that Claire had to turn her head to get fresh air into her lungs.

The head-bending to the side had been something only Peter had been able to master and get away with. It didn't work when Andy tried to use it, and it clearly annoyed Claire. Who was he anyway to think that he could possibly pull off that look?

Whatever the case, Claire shook her head and cleared her throat, trying to mask her disturbance, "I said- You may or may not have gotten me pregnant. At least, that's the story as far as Heidi is concerned."

One of Andy's eyebrows shot up, and he crossed his arms, seemingly not amused by what Claire had said, "Well- damn. We finally had sex and I don't even remember," Andy smiled, then winked at Claire, "So- how was I?"

Claire scoffed, and lightly shoved him, falling into the seat next to him. She momentarily felt better, "I don't really want to go, Andy. I mean- I just- I wish none of this was happening. I sort of wish we were back in Odessa, and that I'd never gotten my memory back."

He studied her and frowned, "You would rather live just in contentment and false belief that you were potentially in love than actually get to experience it with Peter?" He paused and squeezed her hand, "Claire, I know that things didn't work out between you two, but you still have wonderful memories-don't you? I can personally tell you that I'm happier now. Not because you weren't a great girlfriend, you were- but I feel more at peace and honest. Like I can breathe and show who I really am, rather than just a false fabrication."

Claire rolled her eyes, "You English majors and your intoxicating, convincing speeches."

Instead of saying anything back, Andy kissed her forehead, pulling her into his chest afterwords, sensing her outbreak of tears coming. They may not have been together, but he knew her better than anybody else- even Peter.

"Maybe I'm wrong though, Claire. Maybe he's not the one for you?"

Claire shook her head, "He is. I can feel it, Andy."

She did. It was wrong, immoral, and she knew she'd never tell her family, but the love that soared inside her for him was permanent. It was something she'd never get rid of, or wanted to- no matter how many times she told herself she'd be just as happy with Andy in Odessa.

"Well if you can feel it, then he can too, Claire. I really think that maybe the solution to all of this is to simply sit down and tell him how you truly feel."

In all honesty, she had thought about that at times and had day dreamed about how their wonderful reunion would go. It was always the same; he'd apologize and confess temporary insanity, stating that he'd missed her dearly and twirl her into the air in a circle like she'd seen in movies, but Claire also knew- that it would never happen.

.....

Rose colored walls, that was what Claire was made to stare at. She wasn't really quite sure why, either. It wasn't like it made her feel at home, or gave her a reassuring feeling that everything would be ok- if anything, it made her even more nervous than she already was. And as much as she'd hoped that Andy would somehow bring her that much needed comfort, he really didn't.

In fact, he was actually beginning to scare her with all the articles and pictures of pregnant women that lay astray on the coffee table in front of them. There were pictures of pregnant woman with protruding bellies, some with babies in their arms, even some who looked just like her.

There was one article that caught her attention, with a girl her age and a title that read, 'Adoption Vs. Abortion'. Claire had to swallow to keep her nerves at ease. Would she ever be able to do that, if she were pregnant? The mere idea of even being pregnant left a bitter after taste in her mouth.

She shook her head and breathed in and out deeply to clear her cluttered thoughts.

The door opened to reveal a short girl that couldn't have been much older than herself, with a huge, bright smile plastered on her face. "Claire Bennet?"

Claire stood still, wondering if she should just pretend it wasn't her and flee. But Andy nudged her, and she stood up unwillingly, walking towards the short nurse, who led her into an equally rose-colored room.

The nurse immediately handed her a gown and scribbled something on her clip board, and handed Claire a small, plastic, see-through cup, "We're going to need a pee sample, and for you to change into this." She smiled brightly at Claire, "Go ahead and give it to me as soon as you can."

Claire nodded and walked into the small bathroom connected to the room. She started changing instantly, and sighed again when she looked over to the pee cup awkwardly.

Well, it had to be done.

.....

She looked at the awkward gynecologist chair and gulped, immediately regretting having gone to see one at all. Why had she done it anyway? The result of the home pregnancy test had been negative- which was something she could deal with. Claire had already given the nurse the pee test, and was waiting back in the room nervously, feeling as if at any moment her heart would break out of her body from so much beating.

It wasn't like she wanted children to begin with, she had decided early on that kids just weren't for her, not when she was most likely going to outlive them anyway. Who'd want to watch their children die? It was rather morbid.

Before she had a chance to think about leaving more, the doctor came in, holding the same clip board the nurse had been holding earlier and smiled at Claire, "How are you doing today, Claire?"

Other than mortified at the fact that he was going to reveal to her, possibly news that would make her pass out and wish she'd never been born- fine.

When Claire didn't say anything, the doctor smirked and chuckled, "Nervous are we?" He pointed towards the seat and she nodded, "It's ok, it isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It'll be over before you know it."

With another swallow, Claire got up on to the odd chair and closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing. Because at any moment he would reveal the results he held in the clipboard and her already chaotic life would complicate even more.

The doctor sat down on the swivel chair next to her, and turned on what looked to be an ultrasound machine. He paused when he turned it on, and looked back up at a nervous Claire, "The results came back positive, you're indeed pregnant. Now, if you lift up your shirt, we can take a look at that baby."

Everything paused momentarily and she felt as if all the air had been sucked from her lungs, making her unable to breathe. Everything in front of her began to go in slow motion and Claire found it nearly impossible to move. It was as if all her bones had locked and she didn't have the ability to unlock them- to move- or even inhale fresh air.

It was just too much, how was it even possible? The test she'd taken at home had said negative. How could he simply change the answer so easily into the one she feared hearing the most? To know something was growing inside of her? It was simply astounding to her how a girl could possibly be happy to know she was pregnant.

After what seemed like minutes without air, Claire finally reacted and inhaled a healthy amount of air into her lungs. Looking back at the doctor, she shakily whispered, "What?"

It was too low for him to hear as he rubbed some weird jelly on her stomach and placed something that looked like a scanner on top of her skin, moving it slowly across it.

"Right here- see that? That's your uterus", he said, pointing to the screen, "Oh- and that right there- is the embryo. I'd say by the looks of it, you're about fifteen weeks pregnant. You're almost through your first trimester."

Claire looked at the screen to see nothing but a black and white blob. It didn't look miraculous like her mother claimed seeing your baby on a screen was. There wasn't even a single wave of joy that washed through her- it was all simply- horrific. It made her feel like Sigourny Weaver from "Alien"- letting something grow inside her like that, feeding off of her and nourishing itself with her regeneration ability.

The doctor- completely oblivious to her horror, continued to explain what the picture held, where the head was, and what developments were going on. But Claire didn't listen, simply muted everything out and concentrated on the fact that wherever Peter was, she'd find him and hunt him down- to make him pay.

.....

After speaking to the nurse about basic prenatal care and 'making a check-up appointment'- almost forcibly, Claire left with Andy in a rather shocked manner. She was so zoned out and lost that he held her arm and gingerly guided her into a cab.

"Maybe this isn't as bad as you think it'll be. You weren't planned and your parents split up- weren't they?" Andy said hesitantly.

Claire slowly turned her head but didn't say anything. Sure, he was right, she hadn't been wanted either obviously, but she wasn't going to admit to that. Was the way she was feeling how Meredith felt when she had found out she was pregnant with her? Probably.  
Claire didn't have a single motherly-nurturing bone in her body- and that was all thanks to her.

When Claire didn't say anything, Andy sighed, "Claire, I'm going to be there to help you, ok? We're best friends-"

"No," Her voice came sharp and edgy, "I'm going to tell Heidi the truth." She turned to face him, a stoic expression still on her face, "And I'll leave you out of it. It's time I stop using you as a scapegoat, Andy."

He blinked a few times and raised one of his eyebrows, "You're going to tell your stepmother that her brother-in-law- your uncle, got you pregnant?"

Not the uncle part. Claire knew no matter how understanding and caring Heidi was, she wouldn't be able to get her head around that. It was too much- even for her sometimes, too.

* * *

Beta'd by the wonderful Ellie :D

Sorry it took so long to update!


	35. Part XXX

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**  
Part XXX

The sky was overcast- strange for early April, when all that there should have been were light clouds and the warmth of the sun touching her skin. It wasn't really fair for it to be cloudy but, then again, many things weren't right lately. And, if she really thought about it, the gloomy day seemed to coincide with her current chaotic world.

Claire had never really taken a liking to cabs; they smelled, were dirty, but she couldn't run the risk of using the Petrelli car to visit Mohinder, not when what she was going for was something that no-one could know about.

It really didn't matter to her that he was a geneticist, or that a doctor had already confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. It really wouldn't matter until she heard him say the words- he was the one that she could trust through all of this- he was the one that would be able to help her, somehow.

The cab pulled up to Mohinder's apartment building and halted rather abruptly, causing Claire to hit the front seat, hard. She grumbled and rolled her eyes, reminding herself to walk next time, or take the sub. Because she was totally over cabs.

She shoved a few twenties at him and shut the door behind her, wrapping her coat around her tightly to protect her from the heavy, cold winds.

The last time she had gone to Mohinder's apartment, she had gone with Peter to give him shots of her blood and to track his progress, but that had been months ago. The weather had been the same too, but it was almost as if she couldn't tell because she'd been too wrapped up in Peter, lusting after him, to realize what type of weather they'd had.

.....

"Where's Peter?" Mohinder asked distractedly as he rummaged through some papers on his desk, frowning.

Claire opened her mouth to respond that she didn't know, but Molly spoke up before her, "Oh, he's in England." They both instantly turned to look at the awkward sixteen-year-old smiling nervously in the middle of the room, "Uh- I sort of checked..."

The redness that had emitted in her cheeks, the fidgeting fingers, lip-biting, all of that, Claire knew it well. She had been just the same when she was sixteen and lusting over Peter herself. She couldn't blame Molly, he was a supermodel, after all.

Mohinder, though, seemed less in-tune to what the teenager was thinking, and waved it off with a grunt, returning to the paperwork that had taken over his desk, "What is it that I can help you with today, Claire?"

There was an edge to his speech, and a curtness that hadn't been there before. His eyes were a bit crazed as they searched his desk relentlessly, obviously not finding what he looked for. It scared Claire, he reminded her almost of how Peter looked when he was loosing control.

"Um, I just need help confirming something," she bit her lip.

Rather abruptly, Mohinder pulled a file up with a smile, and finally looked over to Claire, "Of course. What is it, Claire?"

Her eyes had drifted to the picture paper clipped to the front of the file. It was a face she knew, one that, for some reason, shocked her for Mohinder to have at his disposal- Adam Monroe. Only, the Adam in the picture had a different haircut, with sideburns. Claire figured it was probably an old picture from back in the sixties or seventies.

"What are you doing with Adam Monroe's file?" she asked skeptically, not taking hereyes off his picture.

Mohinder frowned at Claire, "You know who he is?"

She nodded, frowning herself. Of course she knew him, he was Peter's agent and only friend. He was the only person left in Peter's world she could trust. A sudden weird longing to hear from him erupted inside of her. A desire to speak to him and have him tell her that Peter was fine, that he'd missed her just as much as she'd longed for him. But a curt cough from the Indian doctor snapped her back into the real world, and she swallowed back her day dreams, "Oh, yeah- he's friends with Peter. He's like me...I think."

Her small fingers made their way to the manila folder, with every intention of opening to see what Mohinder was researching on him. But before she even got a chance to, he had snapped it back, and smiled awkwardly at her, "Which is precisely why I might need him."

"Why do you need him?"

Mohinder scratched the back of his neck, and looked over to Molly, who had her earphones on and was bobbing her head to the music while she worked on her homework. He smiled hesitantly, and closed in on Claire so that they were only inches apart, "Do you remember the vile of the Shanti virus I had stored here?"

Of course she remembered, it had been the first visit she'd made to Mohinder's in an attempt to help Peter. Claire nodded, and continued to listen as Mohinder sighed and licked his lips before talking again.

"Somewhere during the removal of it from my apartment to the safe compartment for it at the Company, it was misplaced. Elle lost it, and now we're in fear that there could be an outbreak at any moment." He stressed, rubbing his temples, "Adam Monroe may be the cure- if there's an outbreak."

Claire paused for a moment, thinking about his choice in Adam and not her, "Wouldn't I be just as effective? My blood is the same as Adam's. Why not use me?"

"Yes, it would be more convenient as well. But your father didn't want to have you exposed to such a threat. I was told you are off limits."

For a moment a wave of gratitude and warmness filled her heart. It was touching that Nathan would think enough to tell Mohinder that. She couldn't believe that he would protect her in that way- years ago it would have been absolutely absurd. There was another part she couldn't ignore though, and it consisted of horn-rimmed glasses- Noah Bennet.

Her being 'off limits' reminded her of something he would have said years ago, when he was still her father- when he still worried and cared about her. That's what she told herself- that he simply didn't care anymore, if he had, he would have been at her side when the Company had sent her back to Texas as a brunette.

Claire cleared her throat and swallowed, washing back whatever sentimental feelings that thinking about her adoptive family brought her, "Nathan said that?"

Mohinder didn't look up at her to meet her eyes, but instead kept rummaging through his paper work and seemed intent on keeping it that way.

"No. Both did."

The air in her lungs momentarily ceased to exist, and instead her heart seemed as if it would pop at any second. It had been four years since she'd even seen her father, and just knowing that Mohinder was in contact with him made her pulse quicken with anticipation at wanting to see him.

"You speak to my dad?" her voice was almost a whisper and hitched slightly, a great deal of emotion was obvious in it.

He shook his head, finally glancing up at her and giving Claire an apologetic smile, "The last time I spoke to him was three years ago. But that was one of his strongest wishes. For you not to be used as a lab rat. I have to respect that."

The glimmer of hope that had grown inside her burst. A cold chill ran through her, of course he'd be gone. It seemed that every person who she'd ever truly cared about had been taken from her, or had left willingly. Was there was something wrong with her? Was it her that was pushing them away? For a long, horrible moment, Claire felt as if all the despair and loneliness she had been feeling had intensified, until she swore she felt it rush through her bones.

But Mohinder brought her back from her thoughts, "So what is it you needed help with, Claire?"

One of her hands slowly made its way over her stomach unintentionally, but when she thought about it- she immediately pulled it back, as if it had stung. That was the real reason why she was there, "Oh- right. I just- I want to know if its true that I'm pregnant. I already went to an obstetrician, and he said it was true, but I just wanted a second opinion."

Mohinder smirked and raised an eyebrow, shaking his head as he turned to fix the mess he'd made on his desk, "Claire, I'm pretty certain that if an obstetrician confirmed your pregnancy- then it's most likely true."

So, he had a point. In fact, he was probably right, but Claire didn't care, it didn't matter to her that she might be wasting her time only to hear the same answer again. She just had to try again, hope to God that the result she'd gotten before wasn't possibly true. Most of all, she half hoped she was just dreaming and it was all just a nightmare.

She exhaled, and shut her eyes, "Can't you just-check?- Again?"

For a moment, Claire thought he'd say no- by the way that he held his gaze intently on her with a torn expression. And it made sense- he was busy, and the last thing he needed was to waste his time giving her the same result she'd heard earlier that day- from a more qualified source.

Instead, he turned his head towards Molly, "You can use your power on Claire."

Claire frowned, but watched as Molly made her way towards with her, with a huge grin across her face. She place a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes, breathing in and out deeply, "You're two months pregnant. I know what its going to be-"

"I do not want to know," her own, sharp voice took her by surprise as she flinched away from Molly and against the wall. To know more information than the fact that something was growing inside of her was too much.

The fact that the being that was inside of her came from Peter didn't matter either. To Claire, it simply felt like an alien, something that wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't some joyous event that would take place in nine months, or something she would cuddle and be able to love as much as Peter- all that seemed silly.

Molly bit her lip and took a step back nervously too. She tried to smile, but it came out strained, "Oh, sorry-"

There was a loud knock at the front door that startled them all. Mohinder turned away from Claire to go answer it, and she took the opportunity to get her coat and purse to leave.

What Molly had told her had began to make her feel restless again, as if she were cursed- destined to be miserable, with a reminder of the person who'd confessed not to have loved her at all.

"Claire?"

The thick British accent was too noticeable- she instantly knew who it was- Adam. She slowly turned, licking her lips, and feeling the tears that wanted to come out from her eyes, but washing them back with a blink. One thing he couldn't see was her frailness, he couldn't know what was going on and let Peter find out.

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

Adam turned towards Mohinder, and raised an eyebrow, "I'm not exactly sure yet."

Sighing, he turned to her, "What about you? How do you two know each other?"

She could have gone into detail and explained about saving the world, and Noah working for the Company, but just thinking about retelling the story of her life exhausted her.

Before she could say anything though, a wave of morning sickness passed through her, making her hand fly to cover her mouth and run past the both of them, leaving him clueless behind her.

.....

The party, of course, was like any other thrown by the Petrelli's. Decorations galore, expensive and delicious food, and everyone was impeccably dressed. All conversations consisted of the same; rumors about the Petrelli's, her- the illegitimate daughter, Peter and his rumors, and Nathan and his whole presidential election.

It was boring- monotonous- depressing, just like all the feelings inside of her lately- all that she felt, all the she was now. Without really thinking about it, she took a sip of the apple cider in her champagne glass. It was a facade, just to prevent any more rumors from circulating around the party.

But then, there he was- straight ahead, like the first time- sulkily, bored looking, miserable- just how she felt. She couldn't help it, her stomach erupted in long-missed butterflies, reserved only for him.

His eyes spotted her, but he didn't move or smile, just remained in place. It was her turn to walk to him, as much as it frightened her, as it was horrible, horrid, she did it. Her feet started to take steps towards him, slowly, and he remained there- staring back at her, and watching her walk towards him.

Remembering to breathe was the hardest- keeping her eyes focused, it was all too much to do as she was facing him. He looked the same, apart from the large band-aid that covered his arm.

Claire nervously put a strand of hair behind her ear, "Hi."

His hair was a bit disheveled, but she didn't really want to think of why that would be. It certainly wasn't her fault anymore- and any train of thought that would lead to another individual made the void in her chest ache again.

Peter frowned and licked his lips, before slowly responding, "You're hair- it's dark again- and- short."

She cursed in her head, because they both knew what that meant. They'd talked about her hair, and the meaning of change- what it meant to them and seeing her- it's like it spoke for her. Letting him know that she was no longer his, that whatever it was that they'd had, didn't matter in the least.

His expression was pained, as if even looking at her was torturous- like some part of him was repelled by her mere sight.

The ache grew inside of her.

"I just- I thought it was time for a change."

Slowly, the look on his face changed into a more distant one. He blinked his glossy eyes and smiled, "How are you?"

The difference had been minimal, but Claire could see it. She could tell by the small cocking of his head to the side. It was so signature, and something that she had missed seeing. The whole world could stop and she would have not noticed, because all that could occupy her attention was him. No matter how much time had passed- or would ever pass, the feelings she had for him would never go away, in fact- they only intensified.

Angela stood at the corner of her eye, reminding her of why it was that they were both there. She had agreed to ask him to move back. That's the reason she was talking to him, the only one. She reminded herself that as she took a breath and turned her eyes back onto his perfect form, "Peter, you need to move back."

It was true, but not for the reasons that her grandmother had provided. The fact was, that as much as she had tried to stand it, she missed him. She needed him more than ever before, she wanted to fall asleep to his whispers, and wake up to the radiant, crooked smile that only he could ever pull off. She missed so much of him that it was nearly unbearable to stand there calmly without bursting what she felt.

Peter sighed, "Why?"

"Your family needs you-" it took all her will power not to include herself, "You should be here, with your family."

There was an almost dreamlike expression filling his features- something not quite connected mentally- like he wasn't in tune with everything she was saying. Instead, his eyes searched her face for something- they ran throughout her, letting his brow furrow, but only slightly. And the truth? It really didn't help, not when she was trying to remain completely detached from the overwhelming feelings she felt for him.

A tiny smirk grew on his perfect lips, "My family wants me here?" there was a note of amusement, "I'm not even sure what the definition of that is anymore, Claire."

Of course he'd say something along those lines. After everything she'd witnessed, after all they'd said to him, how they had acted towards him- it was only natural for him to feel bitter. But it wasn't for them that she was asking, it was herself, and it stung that he didn't think of that. It felt like a rush of buzzing that pricked her skin, and reminded her that he really didn't love her- never had.

A hand made its, almost snake-like, way, around her waist, and she felt a tender kiss on her cheek. It was Andy. His touches were always soft and careful, they were similar to Peter's, yet completely different at the same time. Where Andy held his confidence high, Peter lacked it.

"Your grandmother is looking for you, babe." His eyes were on Peter with an almost menacing look.

They'd spoken about pretending, to make it seem like she'd moved on. But looking back at Peter, she didn't want to anymore. Claire didn't care if it would make her look like an idiot, she wanted to tell him that all she'd ever want was him, and that, now more than ever, she needed him by her side.

Her nose flared as she controlled the emotions that wanted to escape within her, and she smiled nervously back at Peter, "I'll see you later." And she meant it, because she had no desire to let him go that easily.

.....

By the time she had gotten to the study, all her nerves had multiplied into a disastrous number. She could only imagine what would happen with any more stress. She was even prepared to tell Angela straight out that she couldn't take any of her lecturing that day. It was too much and all she wanted to do was simply enjoy her tentative time with Peter.

But as she approached the door, she noticed it was slightly ajar, revealing two bodies inside. Claire frowned, realizing who they were; Angela and Adam.

By the look on his face, she could tell he was angry- livid, like she had never seen before. Angela's expression wasn't much different as she scowled at him. As far as Claire had known, they hadn't spoken in years, but it made her curious.

And, just when she was about to walk through the door, Adam spoke, making her freeze all over again, "You should have told me Peter was my son."

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N/A: I just wanted to take sometime and say thank you to all of those who have been reviewing! You guys are awesome! I'll try and update sooner this time, since it is one with Adam's POV. :D

Also thanks to Ellie, because she's an awesome beta!!!


	36. Adam's Side

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Beta'd By: Ellie!

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**Review Responses:**

Warangel88:

Thanks! Here's Adam's side, hope it doesn't disappoint.

faithfulwriter:

I try to make it as unexpected as possible, although the book is already written in my head :) Thanks for reading!!!

Commen Sense:

Well I hope this wont be that depressing! Thanks for reading!!!

bibsy:

Peter's Part is next ;)

everybodysmile:

I know exactly how you feel!!!

JJ:

Wow you picked the right day to review!!! My wish is your command!!! :D

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Adam's Side

"What do you mean? What's wrong with him?" I screeched over the phone.

Ever since Peter's move to London, things had begun to decline again. They had a taken a turn for the worse, almost _deja vu_ like. Of course, the last time I hadn't really been there since the beginning to notice the cause of his self-destruction. But this time, it was pretty evident what was causing it- simple to fix as well, not that he'd have that.

Any word of Claire and he'd leave the room- even the letter 'C' was too much for him to bare. Quite honestly, it was a bit ridiculous for things to be so out of hand with him- especially when he had been making so much progress with her. It was as if she alone was all he needed to survive- she'd brought him sanity and, without her, it was gone, and again he resumed to that same stoic state he'd been in before her.

I envied him. Not his insanity, or lack of, but that someone could mean that much to him.  
I was jealous that he could feel so passionately about her- enough to drive him insane. Maya meant a lot to me- she kept me company, and I loved her, but the insane passion that Peter evoked for Claire- I didn't have that with her, she didn't bring it out in me. The feeling always ran around inside me like a faint mist, but never triggered by anyone, it  
just sat there in existence.

Over the phone, I could hear Elle sigh, "When I got here he was sitting on his bed, completely blank again."

This had been going on for a few weeks now, but more so as it got closer to the Easter  
Sunday Petrelli brunch that Heidi had made him agree to go to which, consequently, he'd almost begged me to attend with him to make an excuse to leave early.

I wasn't sure what had happened between the both of them. He hadn't mentioned anything, but remained silent and surprised me with his abrupt declaration that he was moving to London.

He had given me no reason as to why their crazy, love fueled relationship had come to a sudden halt-it was bizarre. In my whole time as his agent, I had never seen him so full of life, and finally happy with a smile on his face. The fact that she'd been able to make him stop his less-than-healthy lifestyle had astounded us all too. That was what had made me realize just how important Claire was- just how pivotal.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose, exhaling deeply. To say I was clueless about what to do was an understatement. Nothing Elle or I did seemed to change anything or make any difference. Peter remained in a state of complete shock.

Of course, there would be small moments where he'd snap out of it and do the photo shoots or walk the runway, but that light in him- that magnetic pull that he'd had before with everyone, had vanished. It was as if Peter was an empty body roaming the earth with no soul.

Not to mention his old habits were returning quickly, and stronger than before. It was amazing what two months without Claire could do to him- it was disturbing how beneficial, yet catastrophically bad she could be to him.

Just as Elle had warned me, he was in a frozen sort of state when I arrived at his apartment. There was no expression on his face. The only visible signs of how he was feeling were the purple circles around his eyes and his obvious weight loss, again.  
Apparently his desire to eat had left along with Claire, all good things had in fact. The only wants he had was anything that would pull him further down into the black blasphemy that he was already in.

I gestured for Elle to leave, as much as she didn't want to. In these past months she'd grown insanely close and dependent on being next to Peter, regardless of how much pain it caused her to see him love sick over someone else- then again, I suppose her expectations had always been low with him to begin with. She'd always settled for one third of his attention, and accepted the fact that while he may have been looking at her, all he ever thought of was Claire.

She left, rolling her eyes, and with microscopic sparks emitting from her fingertips. I smirked, knowing too well just how easily those small sparks could cause a city blackout if she stayed to listen to what I had to say to Peter.

As I heard the door close behind us, I turned back to the stoic figure laying down listlessly on his bed, "Peter- this- this has to stop."

For a moment, I thought he hadn't heard, or that he was resigned on completely ignoring and tuning everyone out. But then, it was there, a twitch of his mouth- an exhale with every attempt of saying something, "I'm ok."

"No, you're not."

He shut his eyes tightly and swallowed. But I didn't care if he was angry. What was that next to the decline of his health, anyway? If I had to infuriate him to get some response out of him, I'd do it. At that point, I was willing to do anything imaginable. His family get together was only four days away after all.

With no response coming from him, I sighed and sat against the wall, watching him intently, and wondering to myself why it was exactly that I even cared what happened to him. Never, in the history of my life, had I felt so compelled to help anyone before, even when it had been for the greater good alongside Hiro.

Yet, it was there- looking at Peter, I felt as if it was my duty to ensure his safety and well being- as if _I_ had been granted some type of responsibility with him. Perhaps it was the contract binding me as his agent, or some higher sense of morality that I had gained since the Haitian had removed my less than heroic memories. But, whatever the case was, I had a feeling that ridding myself of Peter was not in my near future.

I looked at his figure, analyzing him and his thin form. There were tiny pinprick marks on his arms and stitches from his experiment on himself that Elle had informed me about. His body shivered from cold, but the room was at a nice temperature, he was sick- and it bothered me that just a couple drops of my blood into his system could make him feel better. All it would take to make those needle marks go away- the scar on his arm- the pessimistic view he'd gained- it could all vanish with my help.

But Peter had always been stubborn, and accepting the help that he much needed? He had too much pride. I would have done it myself and strapped him down. In fact, I almost had done just that when Elle had called me frantically explaining that he had slashed his arm. But his pleading- I couldn't force something on him that he didn't willingly want. He may not have been coherent at times, but knowing he didn't want my ability to help- that's when he was the sternest- he knew what he wanted.

I rubbed my eyes, about to say something, but my phone started going off. I didn't have to even look at the number to know who it was. Some Indian man had been calling me for weeks, talking about how he knew of my ability, and that it was important I meet with him- that the world depended on it. It wasn't anything personal with the world but, with Peter around, I certainly didn't have time to go off saving people- not that I had before to begin with...

Without thinking about it, I hit the ignore button, and instead focused on Peter's arms,  
"Peter- must you really do it?"

He sighed, "Do what?"

Pretending had always been one of his most masterfully acquired abilities. He could have had a wound to his heart and still go on pretending as if he was in perfect health. He'd practically do anything to deny the fact that there was something wrong, and that it had something to do with a certain short blonde.

"Did it ever occur to you that in a few days you're going to have to face the whole Petrelli clan? _Your_ family, Peter. How do you propose to do that in the state you're in? What will Cl-"

"I'm not going."

Of course he'd say that. He'd say anything to get out of family gatherings or any social situation lately, "Whether you like it or not, you're going. You haven't seen your family in months- and it wouldn't hurt to show your face to the public now and then...it's just one visit, it won't kill you."

A bitter scoff escaped him, "It might."

With mountains of persuasion and promises to never again force him into this, Peter had finally accepted to go to his family gathering. It had been somewhat of a challenge to get him onto the plane, but after a couple of sleeping pills, his anxiety had seemed to fade away, and he drifted into sleep.

At the same time, I'd had to use somewhat of the same convincing with myself.

After leaving Peter's apartment a few days before, the persistent phone calls from 'Mohinder Suresh' had steadily increased. Once I had mentioned them to Peter, and he'd assured me that he was a trustworthy, old friend of his, I'd given in to his plea of meeting with him once we got to New York.

Peter had gladly given me directions as to how to get to Mohinder's apartment, but had refused to go, and had instead decided to stay in his hotel room until the very last second before I'd pull him to go to the Easter Sunday brunch.

As I knocked on the door, an unfamiliar feeling of uncertainty and fright spread through me. I wasn't used to being clueless about what was going on, or who I was meeting. What I didn't expect to find though, was the young girl who opened the door for me; a sick looking Claire with an inexplicable expression upon her face.

"Claire?" I couldn't help it, my curiosity was too strong not to ask what she was doing there. She looked nearly as bad as Peter did from the outside, apart from the self-mutilation marks he carried on his arms.

Her face was as easy to read as his. It was contorted with such pain that it nearly made me mute. It was as if she mirrored him externally, as if whatever he was going through, she was as well. I had underestimated just how strong their bond was- just how interconnected all their feelings were. Never before had I witnessed such an incredibly flawed, yet deep love between two people.

The only question that I still had was what had happened? Peter had been silent about anything related to Claire, only saying that they had mutually decided to break up. But it hadn't made sense to me, not when only weeks before he had been planning a spontaneous wedding in Australia.

She frowned at me, confused as I was, I supposed, to see me there as well, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

I looked over at Mohinder and frowned, realizing I wasn't quite sure either, "I'm not exactly sure yet." How was that remotely relevant anyway? It was my chance to pull her aside and beg for her to do her magic work on Peter to help him. After all, she was the only one that had ever been able to make him see things clearly while I had known him. Yet- as much as I wanted to ask her what had gone wrong, what had happened between the both of them, and beg her to help him now, I decided not to.

There was always the possibility that she could be as fragile as him, and to mention his name could have caused her to try and flee. So I sighed, and turned to look at her instead, "How about you? How do you know each other?" I motioned between Claire and Mohinder.

Claire's brow furrowed and, as she was about to respond, her hand traveled to cover her mouth, and she ran out of the apartment with no other warning- leaving us all confused.

Again, for what seemed the fiftieth time in those five minutes that I had arrived at Mohinder's apartment, I raised one eyebrow, and looked at him curiously, "So why exactly is it that I'm here?"

...

Confusion.

Shock.

No- impossible, improbable?

Fact.

Apart from wanting my blood to try and save the world, my trip to Mohinder's had been to reveal to me one of the most life-altering truths I had ever heard.

Peter- the psychologically imbalanced model, who I basically took care of-Peter Petrelli the once- hero of the world, was _my_ biological son. Mohinder had toyed around with the possibility of him being distantly related to me, or perhaps my brother- although after assuring him that I was indeed in my 300's, he'd known that was clearly impossible. No, the hard cold truth, and perhaps- misfortune for him- was that he was my son. Mohinder had assured me that he'd looked at both our files hundreds of times, and had always come up with the same results.

Only, I wasn't sure how to act around him after that. Telling him the truth was obviously not an option. He was already in a broken state to begin with, I couldn't imagine what telling him that I was his father would do to him. I suddenly pictured him standing on the side of a bridge, letting go...He didn't need to have something else to stress over, in fact- I didn't need it either- but it made sense.

All the feelings that had been circling in me since before I had become his agent, every strip of worry and necessity to watch over him- it made sense. It was my subconscious knowing that I had some type of paternal obligation to care for him. It was odd feeling, and a huge difference between knowing you were expecting a child and suddenly having a thirty-year-old one in front of you.

Confusion rang through my head first, wondering how it was possible. I didn't remember any romance with Angela but, then again, I was pretty certain I had fornicated with all the females working at the Company back when I had been in charge. It didn't surprise me that Angela had been one of them, after all, she did have her own track record.

After all the calculations had gone through my head and I had come face to face with the truth, and accepted it, another wave of feelings started surging through me. Anger, deep anger, that I hadn't felt in a long time ran through my blood. The mere fact that Angela could keep something that big from me and lie to him- to Arthur and Nathan, it very well made me livid.

I looked over at Peter again, sitting down on the balcony, smoking a cigarette and looking out on to the street twenty feet below. I hadn't been able to speak to him since I had come back. I wasn't sure what to say without sounding weird or different. The only difference I felt myself was the urgency to shake him and make him unwillingly- if I had to- get better.

Now that I knew the truth, I also had to face Angela.

Peter groaned as we walked through the front door of the Petrelli mansion, already recognizing a dozen faces from what I could tell. He had managed, thankfully, to pull himself together as much as he could, and soberly as well.

"Twenty minutes max." He said flat out, grabbing a glass of champagne as the waiter passed, downing it all at once.

I pursed my lips and shook my head, "Go mingle, I have something to attend to."

Peter blinked his eyes, "Here? With who?"

I contemplated telling him the truth right there- to say that I was going to have a conversation with his mother. But then that would lead to other questions, revelations- all things that weren't necessary, and I was sure they only would cause more confusion for Peter.

So I raised an eyebrow towards the food, "The buffet, of course."

To that, he merely rolled his eyes and darted off towards an excited Heidi and Nathan. I scoffed at his stiffness as soon as Heidi enveloped him in her arms.

From the corner of my eye I could see a brunette turned towards me, and instantly knew who it was. As I turned to look at her, Angela slowly made her way around the corner, knowing I was following her.

As soon as I was on the other side of the office door, I quickly pinned her to the wall, "You bitch."

She laughed coyly, as if there was some type of joke in her taking my memory and keeping the fact that I had a son from me. Then again, Angela had always seemed unable to process those natural feelings everyone else had.

"You had my memory removed so that I wouldn't know his paternity," I let her go and breathed heavily, trying to maintain my fury, "You should have told me Peter was my son."

But as those words came out of my mouth, there was an intake of breath behind me. I turned to see a petite brunette in front me- Claire. She stood still in shock, obviously having heard what I had just said.

When I turned back to Angela, she was still-stoic- without any expression on her hard- frightening face. I sighed, unsure of what to do. I needed to get the truth out of Angela, and ask her why she had kept the truth from the both of us, but at the same time- Claire knowing frightened me. The last thing he needed was her running to him and telling him the truth about his paternity.

So, I made my decision and turned back to explain to Claire that she couldn't tell Peter, but she had already fled.

"This isn't over," I sneered at Angela.

When I left the study, I could already see a panting Claire holding herself up with her hands on her knees. She noticed me out of the corner of her eye and looked up, "Is it really true?"

"Yes," I sighed, putting my back against the wall next to her. Feeling as helpless as she felt clueless. I had no answer to her silent questions. I imagined that millions must have been filtering through her head, wondering which one to pick and ask, but as to where to begin- I guess that was the problem for both of us. "Just, please don't tell him anything, Claire. He doesn't know- and he wouldn't be able to handle it at the moment."

"What do you mean?"

In the moment I turned to try to casually explain that he was in such a deep depression over their breakup that it almost seemed as if he wasn't alive anymore, my cellphone went off with a bright little letter on the screen from Maya.

It read-

_I'm in labor._

_

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N/A: THank you for everyone who's been sticking through. I wanted to post this right before the year was over. There's still about six chapters left :D I hope you guys haven't abondoned it yet lol. And yes, Peter's part is next!!!!!  
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	37. Peter's Side: Death

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Ballad Of Big Nothing

Peter's Side: Death

To rely on someone with such necessity as mine was fruitless. It was repetitive and useless, much like the passing days of my life. That's why, when Adam announced that he was leaving on the next flight to London, I nearly had a panic attack. The way I had grown dependant on his presence was worrying but, then again, there were many worrying things in my life lately, and this was just one more to add to the ever expanding list.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked, frightened.

He seemed restless as he ran around his hotel room, gathering his things to leave, "I already told you, Peter, Maya is having the baby. I need to be with her."

"What about me? You're going to leave me here, with them? It's like feeding me live to lions!" I shouted back angrily. My counter was weaker and childish, but it was all that I had. I couldn't imagine being left alone to face Claire or Nathan. I couldn't stand to hear Heidi's worrying words, or my mothers obvious indifference towards me.

No. If Adam left, I couldn't stay, I wouldn't-

"You're acting like a petulant child. I need to be there, and you'll be fine. I've spoken with Heidi. Your things will be moved into the mansion for the rest of your stay."

He said it as if things would be OK, as if there would be no awkward silences in the room when I walked in, as if they wanted me there to begin with. When the truth was that the only reason I was there was because Heidi had begged Nathan to have me come out of some type of pity. That was the only real reason.

And petulant child? Yeah, I'll admit it, I did act like one at times. But I couldn't help it. I felt vulnerable, and just looking at Claire was enough to make my lungs deflate of air and want to cry. Seeing her like that- happy, it tore me, when instead I should have felt overjoyed that she was in bliss.

I couldn't take my eyes off the floor. Just thinking about spending an entire day- almost two days with my family was unimaginable to me. Images made their way into my head- their eyes, their faces, the silence and stares. Then came the arms that were so delicately wrapped around Claire's waist.

My eyes shut tightly.

The truth was, I couldn't possibly spend that much time with them, for the sake of all of us. I wouldn't- and I could think of other places to go, all of which didn't involve seeing any of my family members- or Elle.

She'd be waiting for my return to the party. I had invited her as a distraction from Claire- as something to ease the horrifying pain in my chest. It hadn't worked though, and even thinking about it made me snicker at my idiocy, that anyone could replace Claire. Against my will, I could feel my eyes getting hot. Whether it was anger towards myself, or something else, I didn't know. Any more thought about it, and I'd just pass out.

Actually, my exhaustion was nothing that worried me anymore. All that consumed me was the hope that someday the growing ache inside me would cease to exist, and I with it.

"You're going to be alright, right?"

As I looked up to Adam, I could sense a note of worry, something like fear behind his eyes- it was weird. I'd seen him worry before, or maybe angry, but the fear that came from them now was new. It was something I'd never seen in him before.

It wasn't cold, but something freezing made it's way down my spine, and I trembled and nodded, "I'll be fine."

...

With it being April, I had assumed that the weather would be somewhat pleasant. But standing in front of the tall Manhattan building that held inside somewhat of an escape for me, from the party at the mansion, made me feel like an idiot for not having brought a coat.

My lip hurt from biting it, I couldn't feel my fingertips, and the ache inside my chest was vibrating throughout my body- asking me- begging me to find some type of outlet. I wanted to go inside and see the British Pete. I knew he was staying here for a few weeks while his band did some gigs. And I most certainly knew that he'd have just what I was looking for. Just thinking about- _not _having to think about things was luring enough too.

Yet, I could see the con's listed, and it was substantially longer than the reasons I had to go inside. I had made Claire a promise to get better, I had said I would to myself. In Paris, I had promised her that she meant more, that all I'd ever need was her. And even though I knew she still meant more to me than anyone else, those reasons didn't count anymore. The fact that afterwards I'd have to go back to the party and face them also made me hesitant.

And then it was there, the image of his arm around her waist again. Her little smile not made for me, but for Andy- and that was enough for me to plunge myself at the door and shakily walk into the building.

The feeling running through my chest was exhilarating, because I knew that soon I would have comfort- even contentment was just fine, as long as it was along those lines. I just couldn't stand having this constant ache in me. Whether it was because of the lack of Claire in my life, or something else, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted it gone.

....

There were no lights on in the mansion anymore as I quietly made my way inside. I hadn't really meant to stay that late at Pete's, but after a while I'd figured that maybe waiting until the party was over would be easier. And it was. There were no scornful eyes coming from Nathan, no having to endure Andy's arms wrapped around Claire, and no Heidi with worry laced in her voice.

I closed the door behind me and swallowed; being in the mansion always brought some type of fright back in me- guilt, shame- things I didn't want to remember. As much as I tried, memories like my birthday, or the day I graduated, just didn't come to me first. It's like they almost didn't exist in this house, because all I had were things that pushed me- angered me.

"Peter?" the voice was soft and faint, like it always had been. I could hear the worry like always, and I cursed inwardly. I didn't want to talk to Heidi- because all I ever got from her was nagging. It was always something or another.

I sighed and turned around. She was sitting down in the living room in her robe, and yawning. It was as if she had been waiting for me to get there. Actually, she had been- and it was just typical of her to do that. Of course she would partner up with Adam to make sure I was being watched the entire time, why wouldn't it be any different?

"What are you doing here, Heidi?" I asked, trying to avoid her eyes. I licked my lips and sniffled, already feeling some type of cold hitting me- I didn't like the weather changing that much.

She stood up and walked closer to me, maybe to examine me under a closer light- to see what I had done now- nothing had really changed, "You were supposed to have been here hours ago. We were all waiting for you. Nathan and your mom have been worri-"

I scoffed, incredibly amused by her lack of acting skills. Like for a moment I would actually believe that either of them would be remotely worried about me not appearing at Nathan's party. If anything, it was the opposite, and I was just a faint mist that he was more than happy to get rid of.

Instead of responding, like she was expecting me to, I simply turned around and shook my head, heading to my former room. I didn't have anything to say back. I couldn't- not only was I extremely tired and on the verge of passing out, but I didn't want to waste my breath on something as idiotic as talking about them.

"Peter- look at yourself. What are you doing to yourself? Why don't you care?"

Why didn't I care? The reason for that was a short blond girl, sleeping peacefully in her room, without any idea of just how much my heart broke every time I saw her with Andy. What I was doing to myself didn't matter anymore- It was incredible how much you stopped caring when you had no cause. Besides, I deserved it, I was a monster- someone who had hurt Claire more than ever before. I wasn't that hero she'd envisioned me as anymore. I was a shell of that. The body was here- yes, but not the mind, not the heart, or soul. I was broken, uncared for- and forever more lifeless without her.

All of that and more was why caring these days had become increasingly hard for me, it was why things like smiling- laughing, were impossible, "Nothing's wrong. You're overreacting- and I'm really tired."

I left her in mid-sentence. It was rude, she didn't deserve it, but I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't really tell her what was ailing me. I couldn't even be honest with myself most of the time. I could say I was fine and almost convince myself to believe it, but it wasn't the truth- It wasn't real.

...

I tried thinking about the last time I had unpacked clothes. I couldn't really remember- Actually, many things were foggy. Not that I cared- I could do without all the unnecessary memories. I just wanted the weekend to be over so that I could make my lonesome trip back to my empty apartment in London, and pretend this had never happened. Pretend that this world that I was from once didn't exist anymore-

"Hey."

I snapped my head up to see Claire standing at the entrance of my room nervously. Her eyes were larger than normal, and there was something troublesome about how she looked at me. It was too similar to how Heidi acted.

The last thing I wanted was for her to think something was wrong with me, so I made myself smile back. It was painful, and I could feel all my energy drain as I tried to pretend for her, but I didn't want her to see just how miserably lame I'd become. And against what the smart side of me said, the need to touch her, to simply feel her in my arms became so important then that I couldn't help myself.

My feet acted on their own as I moved toward her, all I wanted was an innocent hug, something to hold on to. To help me make it through the day. And having her in my arms, even if it was just brief, made all the difference. It was like for a second, everything bad that had happened since she'd left me was simply not there anymore. I could breathe easily, and my heartbeat was normal for once. It was tempting to stay like that- forever.

But I broke away and continued packing, trying to cover the disappointment in having to let her go, "How are you?" I surprised myself, as I asked her.

"Everything's good...how are you?"

Terrible, was my first instinct to say back. But I didn't want to involve her, this wasn't her problem- it was all me, I had done this to myself, "I'm great, Claire, I'm great."

Unlike yesterday the hot sun from outside made the room excruciatingly hot. To the point where I felt as if we were in Arizona or something. But I put that aside and turned to smile at her once more, trying to appear as normal as possible, "It's-good to see you."

Her breath hitched, and for a second I almost let myself believe that some part of her truly missed me. That maybe, somewhere deep inside, she could imagine what missing her felt like, and that maybe, just maybe- she wanted me back.

But it didn't happen, instead she smiled, "It's good to see you too. I-" She stopped and looked at me, biting down on her lip and looking around the room again before she continued, "-It's hot."

It wasn't just hot though, it was terribly- excruciatingly hot. It was just another sign that global warming was going on. I did the only sensible thing then, without thinking, actually, and took off my coat. I didn't think anything of it at first. It was simply hot, and I continued taking my clothes out of my suitcase, but I could feel her eyes searching me-until they rested on my arms.

"So how's the party down there?"

They were there- souvenirs of an evening partying with the British Pete and his friends. The little, small, almost undetectable marks displayed on my forearm. I couldn't think of moving, or saying anything- what could I say? What defense could I have come up with at that moment? I froze, and Claire walked forward, taking my arm in one hand and softly caressing it, as if I were made out of glass.

Her eyes were troublesome- confused, scared, "...Peter...".

Something snapped in me then, and I pulled back and scratched my neck with it, to hide the evidence on my arm. I made a weak attempt at a smile, "I'm fine, Claire, it's fine."

She shook her head, "But you hate needles..."

My ability to lie or cover up anything, evaporated into thin air then. I simply couldn't go on with any facade. I scoffed and looked down at the bed, "I know."

The look on her face, the horrible expression- I had caused that. Again, I had caused her unpleasant worry- something I hated and wanted more than anything not to do. I closed my eyes for a second, mustering up the last drops of will power that I had left and smiled, "I need to take a shower...so, I'll see you down there. Ok?"

...

"You know, you could look _somewhat _interested in the party," Heidi said as she drank from her glass of champagne.

I would, but the thought of interacting with anyone was far beyond happening. Talking about politics was like Nathan talking about his love for orphans, or my mother talking about how much she adored cooking- all things that were impossible.

"I'm sorry- of course politics is incredibly exhilarating, why wouldn't it be?" I muttered and sipped my water. I almost choked on it when I noticed Andy holding Claire's hand from across the room then, after looking at me for a second, kissing her. My blood boiled and I sighed, putting my cup on a tray as a waiter passed, and grabbed whatever alcoholic drink it was that he was serving.

Heidi frowned and turned to look at me, "Don't worry about Andy, Peter, he's just a bit protective over Claire at the moment. Nathan was the same with me when I was pregnant with Monty."

For a moment, it was as if the whole room had gone silent, and as if my heart had stopped at the same time. Like there was no oxygen in the room, or air in my lungs. Like my insides had deflated, and instead I was simply- gone. I turned back to her and tried to sound as normal as possible, "W-what?"

"Oh, I know it's surprising, and once Nathan finds out, I really think he's going to flip. She's pregnant- poor dear- she had _no_ idea until I bought her the pregnancy test." She shook her head, then looked at me for second before continuing, "Oh, but don't go on telling anyone, she wants to keep it a secret-"

Across the room, for a second, her eyes set on mine, and it was all there. I could read and feel her every emotion. I could see the confusion she felt, and the radiating love for Andy- and their baby.

"Excuse me", I closed my eyes and walked away. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, and right on time. I needed a prop to get away- something to make me forget what I'd just heard. My hands were shaking, but I still answered, "Hello?"

"Peter, how are the festivities going? Actually- never mind that. I've got great news! You're needed in England immediately. Georgio insists on having you close his show tomorrow night, do you think you can make it?"

I'd do anything to leave at this moment, "Yes, I'll go to the airport right now."

...

Fashion shows were torture. It was the time in which I worked like a slave and wasn't really looked at like the most valuable, gorgeous model, but just a mannequin used to walk around. I tried to blank everything out- there wasn't anything about it that I enjoyed, and to feel indifferent about the whole thing was just easier for me.

I had been wrong before. I wasn't an addict-not then. What I had done before was just recreational, and I was an idiot not to see it. No, I hadn't known what an addiction was until now. It was possessive, monstrous, occupying every thought in my mind, every second of the day.

Where Claire should have filled my thoughts-it was there instead. I couldn't do anything without thinking about it, I couldn't function. What I'd had before was simply the craving for it, not the need. I knew what need was now, without it, I was literally sick.

My arms were a mess, but so what? That's what make-up was for.

The sting of the syringe never faltered. That's something I could always count on, even if I got through the pain of it quickly. But what came afterwards was well worth it. The sweetness and complete...contentment that surged through me, made up for any discomfort I was feeling without it. I closed my eyes for a couple seconds, just swimming in the warmness that it brought me.

But a loud knock on the door, pulled me back- though only slightly, "Peter! They're waiting for you to begin!"

It was Adam, screeching with unnecessary worry. After all, I was Peter Petrelli, they couldn't start the show without me- I was the show. I was the one people where there to see- besides the fashion line anyway.

Keeping my eyes open was difficult, and my throat was dry, but I swallowed anyway, and spoke as loud as I could-it wasn't much louder than a whisper, "I'll be right out..."

I extracted the needle and supported myself on the vanity, trying my best to open my eyes, but they betrayed me instead. I'd had every intention of getting up and heading out the door- It was my job. But as I took a step away from the vanity and towards the door, the floor pulled me down like a magnet. The fall didn't hurt- in fact I didn't even feel it. All I heard before everything went dark was Adam's voice over me- yelling something.

* * *

Beta'd By Ellie

**Next Chapter Preview**:

_She walked towards his bed, as he gave her the briefest of smiles, and closed his eyes again. It wasn't much, but it was something, and she was glad that he could manage small gestures like that- it gave her small bubbles of hope, in all her despair. Claire put down her coat on the plastic chair next to his bed, and sat down, kissing his clammy forehead softly, "You're awake."_

_He laughed, and nodded his head, "What are you doing here?"_

_This was the part she'd avoided. She didn't want to cry in front of him, she was determined to be strong for him, but moments like those, seeing him like that, made whatever strength she'd thought she'd had completely evaporate, until she was left feeling open and vulnerable. She didn't want to answer his question, it would lead to a forbidden territory, that they'd both tried to avoid._

_"How are you feeling?"_

_Peter's lips twitched, she could tell that every movement he made took effort, every word was difficult for him to utter, but he did it anyway, maybe to show her that he was ok, "Like shit."_


	38. Part XXXI

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

Part XXXI

She raced up the stairs of the house, trying to remember where Heidi had said he was staying.

A noise came from a room with an open door. No one else was supposed to be inside the mansion but Peter, so she deduced that it was his room where the noise was coming from. Her heart started pounding against her chest- her head felt light, and she felt like what she had eaten that morning would come back up.

They hadn't seen each other since their last meeting in his apartment, and that had been three months before. So it was really safe to say that Claire was rather scared of seeing him. And, the thing was, that she still wasn't sure what had happened. All she knew was that, for some, mysterious reason, he'd decided that he didn't want her.

Those three days that he'd gone away, leaving everyone in question of his whereabouts, had scared her to death. And to see him come back in the condition he had been in had broken her heart- especially after all the progress he'd made. She just couldn't fathom why he'd thrown it all away so easily.

As she walked up to the door, she told herself that she wasn't there to feel anything or do anything, but only to get an answer as to why he'd done it. All she wanted to know was what she had done wrong- that was it.

But when she caught sight of his long, lanky body, lazily unpacking- feeling _nothing _for him was hard. He just looked so bad. The weight he'd put on with her help had gone away, and he was back to that slightly unhealthy weight he'd been before. Even his clothes looked baggy on him, so baggy that Claire had to take a moment to make sure her voice wouldn't crack when she spoke.

"Hey," she squeaked out, not able to say much else, as she took in the sight of him.

His head immediately snapped towards her, and his eyes blinked for a couple of seconds. A small smile formed, and he dropped the clothes that had been in his hands, "Hey," he murmured back.

Peter looked absolutely exhausted- there was no other way to explain it. He had bags under his eyes and he was pale- he looked ten times worse than when she had first seen him at the Petrelli mansion.

Claire wanted so badly just to cradle him in her arms, to tend to him, to make sure he'd be ok. She wanted to apologize for provoking him and doing whatever she'd done to upset him. She just wanted him to be ok again, not like this.

They both began to walk towards each other in a somewhat awkward way, and fell into an even more uncomfortable hug. She could feel his bones hitting her stomach, and her stomach turned, frightened by it. She could tell that Peter was doing everything in his power so she wouldn't be able to tell just how thin he'd gotten. Claire was afraid that if she held him too tightly, she might hurt him- he looked _so_ breakable.

They both let go and stood there, awkwardly.

Peter was the one to break the silence, "How are you?"

Honestly, she was great. School was fantastic, thanks to Andy she was passing all her classes, and understanding them too. She had somewhat of a social life, and had adapted into the Petrelli world with grace. Everything was good, everything- except the part where she missed him. Yet telling him that to his face-was like admitting to Nathan that she'd lost her virginity to Peter and that she was secretly pregnant- she just couldn't do it.

So she breathed in, and managed to form her own smile whilst nodding her head, "Everything's good...How are you?"

His smile faltered for a moment, as if afraid to really let her know, but it came back, and stronger, "I'm great, Claire, I'm great."

It was a lie. They both knew he wasn't ok; not when he looked so exhausted, she was afraid he'd pass out, or that he was so thin, she was afraid he hadn't eaten in a few days. But she understood why he had to lie, it wasn't her job to take care of him, and what use would it be for him to tell her that he wasn't fine?

Of course, she wanted him to be honest and let her know what was really going on with him, but he wasn't about to 'burden' her with his issues, she knew him very well.

He turned back to keep unpacking, but looked at her occasionally, not letting his smile fall, "It's- good to see you."

Claire inhaled, taking in his scent that had always made her slightly faint. He still had that smoky- cologne smell to him that she loved so much- at least it was one thing that hadn't changed.

"Good to see you too. I-" It was on the tip of her tongue. All she had to say was 'miss you'. It was simple- yet, she couldn't do it. Her stubbornness won over. She wanted him to say it to her first. So she looked around and fanned herself, realizing it was a bit warm, "-It's hot."

Peter, who was taking off his blazer himself, nodded. His hair was even matted against his head from the heat of the day. When he threw his blazer on the bed, she looked at his arms. They were thin, but her eyes noticed something else.

There were needle marks on his left arm- a few of them. Peter saw her staring and brought his arm up to scratch his neck and hide the marks, "How's the party down there?" he asked, trying to shy away from what she'd just seen.

Claire didn't answer him, she just stepped forward and grabbed his left arm, bringing it down forcibly. She traced the marks with her fingers tenderly, whispering, "Peter..."

He pulled his arm away from her and smiled again, "I'm fine, Claire. It's fine."

A lump had grown in her throat, and when she spoke, it hurt, "But you hate needles..."

This time, he didn't use a fake smile, only let out a small, bitter laugh, "I know."

She couldn't say anything. It was too hard, because it was her fault again. She'd pushed him away that day, when she should have taken him in her arms and made him feel better about whatever it had been that had upset him.

"I need to take a shower...so, I'll see you down there, ok?" he smiled at her quickly as he rushed into the bathroom and locked himself in there, purposely away from her.

It was then that she fully remembered what she was doing there. The ring was still being held tightly in her palm.

…

Mingling with complete strangers was something that Claire was mastering rather quickly. It had started off with awkward, tense conversations, but after a while of watching Heidi, she'd figured out that just nodding her head and agreeing was all they really wanted, as the guests spoke to her and she sipped her bubbly apple cider- Andy had insisted on her not having any champagne.

Most of the time, she wasn't much of a drinker, but for some reason she had craved it that day, and thought it might have helped her to endure the rather dull conversations that she took part in.

Claire took the final gulp of her apple cider, and felt her heart stop when she noticed Peter walking down the stairs.

He looked refreshed, but that's about all she could say of his improvements. Even from the point where she was standing, noting his tired face was obvious. Though it was stifling, he was still wearing a long-sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, just enough to cover his more than obvious track marks.

His eyes were a bit glazed over, but he held a smile- a fake one, that she knew he'd long ago perfected. He perfected everything, was amazing, even in his worst states; he managed to send a rush over her that was so intense that it even led to her fingertips, making her whole body momentarily numb.

Nathan met him at the bottom of the stairs, with his own fake smile, and led him carefully to an elderly couple who immediately took him into a hug, and greeted him. He smiled back, and kissed the old woman on her cheek- a flow of jealousy went through her. How was it that some old lady could earn a kiss from him, but not she? She who had invested so much time and love for him- who still had crazy thoughts of her adoration for him running through her head.

As the waiter passed by, she grabbed another glass of apple cider and chugged it down, breathing a little faster than she had been before, not looking away from his perfection.

After a few minutes, the elderly couple were whisked away by Nathan again, and Peter was left alone. Claire watched him as he stood there in the middle of the crowded room by himself. He looked pensive, distant, lost. Her heart wrenched and withered in pain at the fact that she couldn't do anything.

When she was about to go over and say hello, Andy surprised her, bumping into her side. He handed her a new glass of cider, "You know, looking at him isn't going to help the situation."

She rolled her eyes and scowled, "You nagging isn't either." As Claire turned her eyes back to look at Peter, she noticed that Heidi had joined him. He looked surprised at something she said, and on the precise moment that he looked up at her, Andy carefully wrapped his arm around her waist.

Claire looked up at him and rolled her eyes, "I think he gets the point by now, Andy."

When she looked back, he made eye contact with her, and when he did, his smile faded, and he looked away hurriedly- probably wanting to avoid her. He started walking away from where he had been standing next to Heidi, looking as if the wind had been knocked out of his lungs.

Claire took a step forward, instinctively, but felt someone grab her arm, "Don't go to him, Claire. You'll never get over him if you keep chasing after him."

"I don't care. I can't take it anymore! I feel like I can't breathe- I don't care how ridiculous it looks to him- or if I have to beg. I just-I- I just want him", Claire shuddered, and began sobbing uncontrollably on to Andy's chest.

After a few minutes, she separated herself from him, wiped her eyes, and looked up to Andy's face, "I have to do this."

He nodded, "I know."

Claire turned, back to direction where Peter had been standing only minutes before, to find that he was completely gone. Instead, Heidi stood there looking into the crowd, sipping from her champagne glass every now and then.

She frowned as she walked up to Heidi, who smiled at her sweetly, "Enjoying the party?"

But Claire didn't respond or smile back, "Where's Peter?"

Heidi bit her lip, and frowned apologetically, "Oh, honey. He just left to go back to London. He didn't want to interrupt you and Andy, but he told me to tell everyone he said bye."

Claire let out a tiny scoff and turned away.

……..

When Claire opened her eyes the next day, she could feel it. There was something unmistakably different about that day. Something, was off- something had changed. What it was? She didn't know- but she could feel it in her chest, she could sense it.

She yawned, and looked at her clock on the side of the bed where she lay. It read nine AM. Normally, she reserved Saturdays as days to sleep in, and not be bothered at all. But she groaned as she remembered the ultrasound check up she had that day.

It partially angered her that she couldn't be in complete and utter bliss over the fact that she was carrying Peter's spawn. She wanted to- even begged herself to feel some type of maternal feel towards the thing growing inside of her- but it would never appear.

Instead there was resentment and disgust of how something foreign could be growing inside of her. How something she'd never wanted was suddenly there, taking over her body and nutrients for six months to come.

She unwillingly rolled out of bed and sighed. The sooner she got the check up done with, the sooner she could make herself forget about it for the day, and instead concentrate on the other thing that depressed her lately…Peter.

…

Joy grew inside of her for a second, then deflated again. She felt relieved, then panic. She felt ecstatic, then sadness. Claire looked at the screen and cocked her head, repeating the shocking words that her doctor had just told her.

"Wait- what?" Maybe it had been an illusion, or something her hearing had concocted because she wanted it so badly. Surely it couldn't be true, and if it was? How was it possibly…possible?

The doctor looked as confused and clueless as her, and shrugged her shoulders, "There's-nothing there. No fetus-nothing. It's like you were never pregnant. I'm sorry, Claire, I think we may have misdiagnosed you?"

Claire blinked her eyes- confused. She wanted to say something- but didn't know what. She wasn't even sure what she felt. All she could do was swallow, and nod, "Its ok."

…

When Claire got back to the Petrelli mansion, numbly, there was utter chaos. But she waved it all aside, still swimming in the aftershock of the whole ultrasound event.

She knew it wasn't a misdiagnosis, her body had simply rejected the growing human inside of her. It had always been something she was curious about, and now she knew for sure- she would never be able to have children.

It should have saddened her, yes, but it didn't. It left her numb- and only aching for Peter more. She wanted him there to curl into his lap, or simply put her arms around his neck and breathe in his wonderful scent.

She was on her third step up the stairs when Heidi stopped her by pulling her arm. Claire turned her head and gave her a quizzical look, "What?"

Heidi's eyes were red and there were tears down her face, "There's been an accident. Peter's in the hospital."

…

There were bruises through out his body, that looked so severe, Claire wondered if they'd ever heal. His body was so incredibly small, that the bedding surrounding him looked as if it were sucking him in. He was so pallid that he almost looked dead- and the tubes inserted almost in to every part of his body only added to the fright panging inside her.

Who was this? It certainly couldn't be Peter, the Peter who had once saved her countless times, years ago. The skeletal, frightening person that stood in front of her wasn't even a shell of who he had once been. He wasn't beautiful anymore.

And that's when she broke. She couldn't take it; exploding into never ending sobs, and buried her face in her hands. What had happened to him? How could she not have stopped him? What had driven him to that extent? Towards self-destruction?

Claire wanted nothing more than to hug him and shake him awake- to kiss him, to pet his hair, and simply lay next to him on his bed. But Angela, who had his hand tightly in her own, and who was shedding tears of her own wouldn't have allowed that. They'd worked hard to keep what they'd had a secret and the family at peace. She couldn't just throw it all away then.

"I told you to stop him from coming back to London."

It took her a while, but she got her sobbing under control and looked towards Angela, whose eyes were still on him, "How long has he been asleep?"

Angela caressed his sunken cheek and let a flicker of a smile show on her tired face, "Two days."

Irrational anger spread through out her as her grandmother touched him. Who was she to be there anyway? All she was to him now was an estranged mother who had ignored him for years. She'd flicked him aside like a bug in the way of Nathan's Presidential victory. She had basically treated him like some stranger that wasn't even worth the time of day to her.

Claire scoffed, "What are you doing here? It's not like _you_ care. You've hated him since the fire."

Her grandmother shook her head and closed her eyes- letting more tears fall down her cheeks, "You have no idea, Claire."

"I have no idea? You're the cause of this! It's because of the way you threw him aside that made him feel so worthless- to the point where he thought he was pointless! You did this to him, you and Nathan!"

The same bitter laugh that Peter used came from Angela, and she took his hand in hers tightly to kiss it, "You're right, Claire, it is my fault. Just not the way you think it is."

The bitter blame that was etched on her face didn't go away, "What do you mean?"

Angela never took her gaze off Peter, but instead stared at him endearingly. He was her son, her baby, the most significant thing in her life. And yeah, Claire was beyond mad at Angela for all her stupid behavior towards him, but she couldn't lie- Angela obviously loved him, by the way she was staring at him, she had to.

"The day of your funeral, all those years ago? I gave the order to Elle to give him the medication. So yes, it is my fault that he's here." She paused, and Claire could here the small hitch in Angela's voice. She could tell that she was near crying herself, but as always, she composed herself before continuing, "I never did it to hurt him. I had a dream- it showed him happy without his powers- it showed everything safe. It showed you happy- but I was wrong.

"I didn't see it at first, I made myself believe that it was all part of what was to come. That his little- dependency on it, would pass. Then- as it grew- I couldn't speak to him anymore. I felt shame, so much guilt, that I couldn't bare to face him. For I was afraid that he'd see that I had done it to him. That he would realize that it was because of me that his life had changed dramatically.

"Then- Adam found him. I was hesitant to let him into Peter's life at first. Fearing that it would cause more chaos and destruction. But then I put my differences aside, I realized that he could at least have Adam, since I was too much of a coward to face him or help him. And, after all, Adam had no recollection of ever having an affair or fathering a child with me. I honestly thought he'd help Peter- I truly did. But…he didn't, and it was too late for me to face him, too far along the problem to come forward and apologize, when I knew he wouldn't care anymore."

A single tear went down Angela's face, and she wiped it away hastily, "Then you came back, and I had this great vision that he would get better. I could see him smiling, and full of life, and I decided that I still had no purpose in his life anymore. I could see that you would make it better, and then it was gone again. And the last dream I had of him came. The last dream that placed him here woke me up. I thought the only person that would be able to convince him to stay was you. I never thought for one second that I could help him anymore. Not after all the damage I had put him through. But see, that's been my mistake all this time- I never stopped to think, and realize that I could help my own son, that I _should_ help him."

Then without any warning, something happened that Claire had never thought imaginable. The woman made out of stone- broke. Angela Petrelli burst into tears, and Claire walked forward- slowly putting her arms around the back of the grandmother she thought had never loved anyone.

…

When Claire stepped back into his hospital room the next day, she noticed his eyes flutter open lazily, and look towards her direction. He still looked the same- sick, deathly pale, and all beauty gone, but at least he was awake- that was more than she could ask for. It assured her somehow that he'd be ok- that he was going to make it, when the small part of her subconscious had doubted it.

She walked towards his bed, as he gave her the briefest of smiles and closed his eyes again. It wasn't much, but it was something, and she was glad that he could manage small gestures like that- it gave her small bubbles of hope in all her despair. Claire put down her coat on the plastic chair next to his bed, and sat down, kissing his clammy forehead softly, "You're awake."

He smirked and nodded his head, with his eyes drooping back down, "What are you doing here?"

This was the part she'd avoided. She didn't want to cry in front of him, she was determined to be strong for him, but moments like those, seeing him like that, made whatever strength she'd thought she'd had completely evaporate, until she was left feeling open and vulnerable. She didn't want to answer his question, it would lead to forbidden territory that they'd both tried to avoid.

"How are you feeling?"

Peter's lips twitched, she could tell that every movement he made took effort, every word was difficult for him to utter, but he did it anyway, maybe to show her that he was ok, "Like shit."

His refreshing honesty made her smile, and she exhaled, scoffing, bending down close to him to whisper, "Well, you don't look too good either."

"Thanks", he laughed, wincing in pain, and then becoming serious once more, "Did Andy come with you?"

Claire swallowed, "No."

Peter frowned at her, but kept his eyes closed, trying to conserve his energy, "He let you come by yourself, in the condition that you're in?"

There was a second of silence where she thought over what he meant, and a pang hit her in her chest, "What do you mean?"

"Well- Heidi told me not to say anything, but- you're pregnant. Right?"

A small bubble of anger ignited inside of her, but Claire pushed it aside with a sigh. Of course Heidi would tell him, they did, after all have their secrets, "That wasn't any of her business, and no, I'm not pregnant, but that's not what's important right now."

She noticed him shiver, almost as if he knew what she was going to say.

"What's important is that you nearly died, and I don't know what I would have done if that happened." She wanted to will herself not to cry, or have her voice crack, but she couldn't. The current situation, and the severity of it didn't allow her to, "I can't lose you, Peter."

His forehead scrunched up slightly and he looked at her pleadingly, "We don't have to talk about this."

"But I want to! You don't understand how much you mean to me- I- I can't lose you. You don't know what I felt on the flight over here."

He scoffed, "I know more than you think. I had to go on living my life after I thought you died. I know what it's like, Claire- I could barely function."

Frustration, anger, hurt, and fright ran through her, "Then don't do it to me!"

Peter shook his head, "It's not the same for you", he licked his lips, and she saw his nose flare a little, "You have Andy. That's…you have him, ok? Don't tell me how much I mean to you when you're with him."

Claire groaned and rolled her eyes, "Don't you see? Haven't you seen at all? I've never been remotely interested in him. It was all to get you jealous- all I've ever wanted was you and to make you happy. That's why I let you go that day. I thought that if you being happy meant you being with someone else other than me, then I'd have to let you go. But I don't care anymore. I don't care if I sound childish or selfish, or whatever! I won't do it anymore- I can't."

Peter's voice lowered to a whisper, "Can't what?"

"Pretend I'm not in love with you anymore. I want you all to myself."

* * *

Beta'd By the amazing Ellie.

N/A: Next chapter is nearly complete!!!!! Here's a preview:

_**Peter's Side**_

_I wasn't sure what the first thing that hit me was. _

_I was in a bed._

_Not my bed._

_I could feel a needle up my arm, and the constant beeping coming from some machine. I opened one of my eyes unwillingly and looked around me._

_I was without a doubt, in a hospital bed- an itchy hospital bed. It drained me, but I turned my head to see what had hold of my hand, and found my mother in a slumber, sitting next to me. _


	39. Part XXXII Peter's POV

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

_Part XXXII_

_Peter's POV_

I wasn't sure what the first thing that hit me was.

I was in a bed.

Not my bed.

I could feel a needle up my arm, and the constant beeping coming from some machine. I opened one of my eyes unwillingly and looked around me.

I was, without a doubt, in a hospital bed- an _itchy_ hospital bed. It drained me, but I turned my head to see what had hold of my hand, and found my mother in a slumber sitting next to me.

My first reaction was to pull my hand out of her grasp, get up and leave, but I didn't. Not only did I not have the energy, but there was something so- sad about the way she looked that I didn't want to disturb or wake her up.

If anything, I wanted to try and avoid talking to her. What would I say? What could I say for myself?

She'd probably already gotten the story from Adam, and the gory details as well. I didn't have an excuse- it all really came down to the fact that I was bored, heartbroken and stupid.

When I first walked into the British Pete's apartment, I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew what to expect- and what would happen. I didn't stop, I didn't care anymore- it didn't matter. Lying there in the hospital bed with nothing to keep me company but my slumbering mother, made my throat suddenly hurt-and that? That was something that never happened.

Next to me, my mom stirred and opened her eyes to look at me. Her eyes momentarily grew and she smiled, grabbing hold of me and kissing my forehead like when I was eight and she would send me off to school.

"Oh, God, Peter- you're awake," she sounded relieved- tired- it was in her voice. Judging from the bags under her eyes, I could tell she hadn't been sleeping much, "You have no idea how worried I've been."

My eyes closed involuntarily, and I frowned slightly, "How long have I been sleeping for?"

Her hand slowly caressed my hair, it was soothing, but it was completely alien to me. All the comfort and tenderness she was showing- I wasn't sure how to react to it. It had been years since we'd had an actual conversation, and having her next to me now- it was- I couldn't even word it, really.

"Three days," I could hear her voice tremble as she said it. It wasn't really like my mom to show any sort of emotion. I was so used to her being detached from me. She'd always been joined at the hip with Nathan, that having her here, actually fly across the ocean to see me, was difficult to digest, "We were so worried you wouldn't wake up."

I stayed quiet, but not because I felt bad. I should have, I knew that, but I also didn't know how to respond. It was hard to imagine her being concerned over me. So I did the only thing I could think of and sighed, turning my head, "It's fine, mom, I'm fine. You shouldn't have troubled yourself by flying all the way out here."

My eyes popped open again when I felt her turn my complete body so that it was facing her, effortlessly. I realized, I'd forgotten that it wasn't a good idea to get my mom angry- it was inconvenient.

"_This_", she pointed towards my arms with her eyes, "is most definitely not fine. You nearly killing yourself is not fine. You, Peter, are not fine. Do you have any idea how badly you've damaged your body? You can't imagine what it's done to me- to your family."

I tried really hard not to laugh- I really did…but it came out anyway. Maybe it was because I was resentful, or because maybe- I was showing my 'emo' side- but it was very difficult to imagine my mom or Nathan crying over me 'harming' myself.

My mom slapped my arm, "This isn't funny, Peter. This situation is serious. I'm through sitting at the sidelines and watching you kill yourself. This is going to stop. _Non negotiable_."

I closed my eyes so she couldn't see me rolling them. At the same time, a small, tiny part of me felt different,

not angry, or sad, or even annoyed- but relieved? It was like part of me was waiting for someone to snap me out of it. I wanted it- I wanted out- I needed a reason- or something?

The door to the room suddenly opened, and I turned to see a nurse walking in with a tray- breakfast. My stomach turned and I groaned. The thought of ingesting anything seemed impossible with the way I felt. Just smelling the eggs in the tray made me nauseous and I couldn't help but turn away in disgust.

My mom sighed, "Try to eat _something._ You're painfully skeletal looking-" She paused, "I'll be back- I need

to speak to someone."

I heard her stand up and walk away.

Talk to who? I turned my head to look out the window of the room, incredibly curious, but all I could see was my mom with her jaw tight, and her eyes glazed with tears. Part of me wanted to feel guilty- or sad that I was making her cry- but the feelings never came. The empathy that I carried once just wasn't there anymore. I felt completely detached- in the worst way.

And that- more than anything my mom had told me, or I realized- that was the scariest thing to me- until I saw her walk into the room.

Some part of me should have known to expect her to be here, but I hadn't wanted to get my hopes up for nothing. Yet, even though I was sublimely happy that Claire stood only a few feet away from me, walking towards me, seeing her with bloodshot eyes and a red nose- made that knot in my throat come back.

I smiled at her, because I was more than happy to see her. She was always like my oxygen, she was my sun, my beating heart- that I had momentarily thought I didn't have anymore. But when she walked through that door, I felt it all. I could feel my heart beating outrageously in my chest, and my body react to her presence as if I hadn't seen her in ages.

She set her coat on the plastic chair next to my bed and, as she bent down to kiss my forehead, I swear my heart nearly broke out of my chest from her mere touch.

"You're awake," she said softly, trying not to sound too sad, but failing miserably. She couldn't fool me- I'd always known my Claire.

So I smiled and nodded like an idiot, because she had some type of magical power over me where I couldn't control myself. I felt all goofy, like a little kid again, but something wandered in the back of my mind, "What are you doing here?"

I hated closing my eyes, but I couldn't control it. It was already taking me everything in my power to stay awake. I'd never felt so- drained before, and the disgusting smell of the food next to me only made my already terrible current state worsen.

Claire didn't answer me. I didn't know why, probably because she was annoyed to be there in the first place.

Then I felt bad, I couldn't really understand why people were so concerned. I made a mental note to give Adam hell later on for alerting everyone to what had happened to me. I knew it was him, who else could it have been?

"How are you feeling?" she whispered. I had my eyes closed, but I could imagine her lips moving and wording everything. They were pink, so soft, and I missed them so fucking much that it was ridiculous.

But I tried not to think about that. She didn't want to hear that- especially with the current situation at hand.

I wanted to keep things light for her, so I smiled and laughed- immediately regretting it because it hurt,

"Like shit."

Claire got closer to me. I could feel her warm, sweet breath hitting my face, and it was wondrous. It was almost too good to be true after everything, and though my eyes were closed, I could feel a smile growing on her face, "Well, you don't look too good either."

I smirked and laughed, "Thanks." But her breath close to my face, her smile and the hint of flirting was too much for me. It was like I was extremely sensitive to her. Which was why I needed to change the subject to something- else. Something that would make her back away from me before I couldn't help myself and pull her down, "Did Andy come with you?"

I took a moment to hate myself for asking. I was beginning to think more and more that maybe I was some type of masochist. I did nearly enjoy my own depression- that of course, I had to remind her and myself that she was dating him.

"No." There was something weird in the way she said it- almost annoyance.

I frowned, remembering something else, "He let you come by yourself, in the condition that you're in?"

Claire moved slightly- tensing up, and I mentally cursed at myself for blabbing so stupidly. I wasn't supposed to know, "Well- Heidi told me not to say anything, but- you're pregnant. Right?"

A part of me was positively pissed that I was being such a jerk, giving Heidi up. But the selfish part of me, that didn't want to talk about the matter at hand, didn't care. All it really cared about was derailing her from asking anything about what was happening to me. After waking up and having my mom talk, I didn't need Claire's thoughts- I wasn't sure if I could bear it.

"That wasn't any of her business, and no, I'm not pregnant, but that's not what's important right now."

Fuck. I knew what was coming- dreaded it. Was it really necessary to talk about it? It was done- over with- I didn't see a need to reflect on it.

"What's important is that you nearly died, and I don't know what I would have done if that happened."

Why did she look like she wanted to cry? And why did she have to say that? It was only teasing me- ripping my insides more with her unfounded declarations. "I can't lose you, Peter."

Her voice could be angelic and magnificent, yet still have the ability to make me lose my self control and want to just go back to Pete's house and maybe never come out again. "We don't have to talk about this."

She suddenly snapped and I involuntarily twitched, "But I want to! You don't understand how much you mean to me- I- I can't lose you. You don't know what I felt on the flight over here."

That's when _I_ snapped. Not know how she felt? Did she not remember the time where I actually thought she died? Or the fact that I lived with the knowledge that she had amnesia and was content?

"I know more than you think. I had to go on living my life after I thought you died. I know what it's like, Claire- I could barely function," I let out the last part in a whisper.

"Then don't do it to me!" She shrieked angrily.

Did she really not understand?

"It's not the same for you," I looked around frantically, trying to explain myself without looking like an idiot and crying, "You have Andy. That's…you have him, ok? Don't tell me how much I mean to you when you're with him."

It seemed that whatever I was saying only angered her more. Because she rolled her eyes at me and frowned, "Don't you see? Haven't you seen at all? I've never been remotely interested in him. It was all to get you jealous- all I've ever wanted was you and to make you happy. That's why I let you go that day. I thought that if you being happy meant you being with someone else other than me, then I'd have to let you go. But I don't care anymore. I don't care if I sound childish or selfish, or whatever! I won't do it anymore- I can't."

My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment I almost let myself believe that there was hope. That maybe she did want me, or cared for me, and that- I could somehow be with her again, "Can't what?"

Tears brimmed her eyes, and she looked down at her fingers shyly- mumbling, "Pretend I'm not in love with you anymore. I want you all to myself."

For a moment I swear my heart stopped, but then I froze, thinking I imagined the words coming out of her mouth. Was it really possible? Could she really, truly, honestly still want me?

I knew my voice was soft and airy, but it was all I could produce, "Really?"

Claire nodded, and I couldn't help it, I had to smile. Hearing her say it was like being lifted from a horrible nightmare, it was like waking up again. She always had the ability to make me feel better when I thought things would never change.

It was the moment to say it back, because we both needed it. She had to hear that I had never stopped loving her, and that I'd only left her because I had thought it was best for her.

But I couldn't. She looked at me longingly, expecting for me to say it back, and I wanted to- she deserved to know the truth, but I couldn't. Not because it wasn't true, but I think it was to protect her from me. It wasn't about me anymore- I wanted better for her. I wanted someone for her that wouldn't hurt her.

At the front of the room, my mom burst through the door with a smile of satisfaction, and we knew the moment had passed.

…

"Peter?" I could hear my name being called softly, and it wasn't my mom or Claire, but I knew it was a girl's. It was familiar, and I tried to think of everyone I knew, but I still felt weak and my mind was exhausted.

I felt something nudge me softly, and opened my eyes to see a strand of blonde hair hitting my arm. For a moment, a let the ends of my mouth twitch into a small smile, thinking of Claire, but then I remembered that she didn't have blonde hair anymore- and it wasn't long.

Elle stood in front of me with one of her own sad smiles etched on her psychotically pretty face. It would have been a lie if I said she wasn't pretty, but compared to Claire, she was plain. She held nothing of which I desired, nothing that held my interest for long, not like Claire.

She brought her snake like hand to my bangs and pushed them back, smiling at me, "You should have listened to me, Peter, I told you to stop." She paused and sighed, turning her head slightly to one side. Her behavior had continued to get weirder as time passed, until it seemed like the crazy Elle that I was used to hardly made appearances anymore.

"And look where all your mischievousness has brought you? But don't worry, soon you'll be out of here, and I'll take you home and take care of you."

A frown grew on my face, and I was confused as to what she meant. Why would she take care of me? This wasn't an Elle I knew anymore. She had changed-just like me.

"What are you talking about?"

She giggled, almost in a crazy, Elle-like way and smiled, kissing my lips chastely. I almost thought I was in some kind of dream brought on by all the drugs, or my own vivid imagination that didn't make sense at times, because truthfully? This couldn't really be Elle.

This normal like creature before me, so different, so changed and complacent couldn't possibly be the same person that had shocked me whilst having sex. I had to blink a couple of times before even thinking of a way to respond to her behavior. It was just so foreign to me.

I cocked my eyebrow and frowned, "Are you ok?"

Then something much stranger happened, something that I never really thought would happen- wetness started gathering in her eyes, "Why did you do it? Do you know how worried I've been?"

My mouth opened, a little confused as to how I should respond, "I'm-sorry?"

She shook her head and kissed me again, and it would have been a lie if I said I hadn't kissed her back. It was just an automatic response, I guess.

Elle sighed and smiled, "I think I'm in love with you, Peter."

Again, for maybe the fifth time while she'd been there, I was speechless. I couldn't even get my head around the fact that she'd uttered the word 'love' to begin with. Then, to say she was in love with me? I felt like I was in the twilight zone to be honest.

Claire's awkward declaration that she still loved me had brought me joy and relief. This? I didn't know where to begin.

"Elle- I…I'm not sure I feel the same way."

She giggled and rolled her eyes, "I know that, silly. But I'm going to fix it."

I shook my head stubbornly, because I didn't want to fix it. I would rather be hopelessly in love with Claire and not able to be with her, than feign being in love with Elle. It just wasn't as appealing to me, "You know how I feel."

I expected her to get angry, or sad, maybe even cry again, but to laugh was just another thing to add to her crazy list. I was starting to wonder if she was in fact bipolar.

The nurse came in, smiling, with something I wasn't sure of- a sedative. It didn't make sense when I was here because I had sedated myself to begin with, but I didn't oppose. Sleeping sounded great compared to talking to Elle about her new found love for me. And the last words I heard before being pulled into complete darkness was_, "…fix it." _

….

I tried thinking over what Elle had said to me the day before, but it was all still foggy and, honestly, I really didn't care what she had said. Ok, I did care, slightly, but I wasn't going to lie to her and tell her that I loved her back when I didn't.

All that was really important at that moment to me was leaving the hospital without being caught by my mom or Claire. I wanted to see them, but I knew that they'd want me to go into some type of treatment center.

I couldn't. It had been days since I'd taken anything, and I was starting to get anxious. Just thinking about what I had at home actually sent a chill through me. Yes, it was completely fucked up of me to be going back to what had brought me here to begin with, but part of me didn't care. I just wanted my relief.

I licked my lips, putting my sweater over my head, and winced. My entire body was aching in pain. It was horrible, and I could feel my joints cracking as I stretched my arms. The only hope I could hold on to was that as soon as I got to my apartment, I would feel better.

A cigarette wouldn't hurt either, I told myself mentally. I sighed, realizing that my pack was safely inside my back pocket.

I turned around, intent on walking out of my hospital room and leaving, but she was there again. She was standing with a bag in one of her hands, and her face turned into a curious frown. I liked her hair. It was short, but it went with her, I just wished it wasn't brown.

"Where are you going?" She asked, stepping forward and grabbing my arm. Her scent was so potent, I could feel myself getting lightheaded.

Sadness filled me then. I don't know why, but it did, and I hid it with a smirk, "Home."

"You mean New York, right?"

I bit my lip and shook my head, kissing her forehead lightly, trying not to linger so long onto her. If I did, I might not be able to let go. She, like the drugs, was addictive, and I couldn't have both. Actually, I just couldn't have her, period.

As I turned to leave, she held me back. Her strength actually surprised me, "No! Go home with us, Peter, please?"

"That's not my home anymore, Claire. It's here, in London. I have to work." I stated simply, looking at her beautiful, sad, green eyes.

It only took a few seconds for them to turn angry though, and for her to cross her arms, staring at me with daggers in her eyes, "Because the drugs are here, right?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes, and instead sighed. She was right, and I hated that, but I wasn't openly going to admit it, "No. My work is here."

"That's fucking lie, and you know it. Look at you, Peter, we've already been through this! You're a walking skeleton! You need help, you're going to kill yourself if you don't get it. Please just go back home with us, for me."

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue with her. I didn't want to go back to New York, not to see her flaunt her relationship with Andy, but I also couldn't say no to her. And this right here, it was what I had been trying to avoid from the beginning. All I could do was smile and nod.

"Ok."

…

One month later, sober, and still unknown as to why I felt confused- I sat here.

The room was kind of opaque gray, and the blinds so sheer that the sun was shining right through them. It was almost unbearable, and didn't help with the dry feeling inside my throat. This was the moment where I had to talk and say what was wrong- but I couldn't

See, the thing was that I had gone through this many times before. Therapy was not something foreign to me, having not been since I was five and I tried flying for the first time. At that time, I trusted a therapist, who then turned around and told my mom every single thing.

Which was why I knew that if I told her about Claire, my mom would be the next person to find out, and everything would blow up in front of me.

"Peter?" She called my name with a soothing voice. It was a voice I had heard plenty of times, in the same office, each time I had tried to kill myself as a teenager. They were all really feeble ones, not any that had actually put me in any life danger. Sometimes they hadn't even happened yet, my mom would simply say that

I was planning on hurting myself, and she was always right.

I could remember the first time vividly. I was thirteen, and I had just overhead my dad telling Nathan that he would have to follow in his footsteps, that _he _was all the family really had and that _I _would never amount to anything.

Actually, I couldn't help but giggle, remembering that and imagining Claire whispering "emo" into my ear at that moment. Maybe I had always been? I just hadn't thought about it.

That night, when I heard my dad telling Nathan _that_ was the first time I drank. I woke up in the hospital with a tube down my throat the next morning.

The next time I was sent to see my therapist was two days before my birthday. I knew, just like every year, that the only people that would be in attendance would be my mom, Nathan, and perhaps my dad. Nobody bothered coming to the Petrelli house for my birthday when they would be attending Christmas two days later.

I remember my mom taking me aside and demanding to see my wrists. I hadn't done anything to them, they were perfectly intact, and I could see the relief on her face. But I remember that days before, I had been wondering why it was that people cut themselves, and how it felt. The curiosity had been there, but I had never acted upon it.

In high school when I had tried a cigarette, and my mom smelled me when I got home, she had driven me herself to see my therapist. And yet, as many times as I can recall my mom sending me to see her, I never once saw Nathan go, or my mom take him.

I remember one of my aunts gossiping one year over Thanksgiving, saying how it was horrible that my dad was still resentful over the bizarre pregnancy my mom had with me. How I had made her ill, and how since I was born, I had always been fragile.

I guess in some way, she'd always tried protecting me from my dad and myself when I hadn't realized it. It was always common knowledge that Nathan was the favorite, that he was loved more. But I hadn't stopped to notice that at least she cared. I just wish it would have been more.

And here I was again, expected to explain why it was that I had been taking drugs, when I wasn't sure I knew myself. I guess it partly came from Claire, I was hurt that she didn't love me. That she wanted somebody else when I was to give my life for her- I had given it for her.

But more than anything, it was an excuse to hide what was really underneath...It was to shield anyone from seeing that maybe, Nathan was right and I had been depressed, and that I did have layers of unresolved problems.

I grew up telling myself it was normal, that there was always a favorite, and that my childhood had been fine. I think I said it so many times that I convinced myself that I had, in fact, had a golden childhood, and that nothing had really been wrong.

Without my therapist saying anything, I started sobbing, not because Nathan had been loved more than me, not because of my dad's bitterness towards me, or mom declined love towards me, not even because I had ultimately lost Claire- I cried just for myself. Because I could see now that I had always had something to numb me. Whether it was my mom, being a nurse and focusing all my attention on other people, Claire, even the drugs. And now that nothing was left- I felt open, scared, free, vulnerable- light.

I left the session without saying anything, or having her say anything back either. But I felt better than I had in years- it was the most successful visit I think I had ever had.

When I stepped outside into the cool, Manhattan air, I could finally really breathe in and feel everything surrounding me. Things would be ok, never perfect, or ideal- but I would be fine, I knew it.

"How did it go?"

Claire's tentative voice asked in front of me. She had insisted on coming with me, even though I had refused. She'd ended up waiting in the car instead

I let a hint of a smile creep on to my face, "It went well.".

She started biting her lip and looking at me, that same scared expression I had seen before. I knew what she was going to say, because both her and Adam had offered it to me- the easy way out.

"It doesn't have to be like this, Peter. All you need is a few drops of my blood and you wont even have the desire for it anymore."

Stubbornly, I shook my head and sighed, bending down to kiss her on her forehead before getting inside the car. Once we were both inside, I answered, "Its not supposed to be that easy, and you know it. I need to do this one my own."

She frowned a little, and I could tell her eyes were getting moist, "I miss you."

Again, I sighed and tried to give her a small smile, "I'm right here."

My response didn't seem to lift her spirits and her pout protruded, "You know what I mean. I miss _us_."

The truth was, I missed her too. I missed her kisses, her hair, the smell of her skin and waking up next to her in the morning. I missed her cooking, and her smile, I just missed her. Honestly, I wanted more than anything to take her in my arms then, to show her just how badly I needed her too. But something still stopped me, prevented me from allowing myself to tell her that I wanted her.

I decided to answer honestly, just not the honesty she was looking for, "Maybe we can take things slow?"

The change in her face was almost immediate. There was a sudden glow to it that I had only seen a handful of times. A slow and mischievous grin grew on her face, and she jumped on top of my lap, attacking my lips.

I chuckled, and held her face in response, kissing her back and finally feeling whole. This was what I had really needed all along, and as she continued to kiss me, I spoke between kisses, "So-much-for-taking-things slow."


	40. Part XXXIII

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

__

Part XXXIII

__

Claire's POV

The droplets of water fell into the tub with a slow splash. I'd been in there for what felt like hours, yet I wasn't sure why. Well, OK, honestly? I was partially avoiding Peter. It was crazy, I knew that, but I was scared of living under the same roof with him when it was being shared with the rest of the family.

I felt like I was being watched closer than ever. Any sudden mistake, and they would instantly know what was going on between us. Lately, I was starting to wonder if Angela already knew. She did have dreams after all, I knew she must have seen something. And if she had, why hadn't she said anything? On the contrary, she had begged me to speak to him for her, hadn't even asked why I flew to London right after her when we got the news that Peter was in the hospital.

My heart was suddenly pumping fast.

I got out of the tub, wrapping the towel around myself and walked back into the room. All thoughts about our predicament had me in a cloud, and when I saw him sitting down at the edge of my bed, sucking on a lollipop, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. He was reading one of my Cosmo magazines and smirking. I groaned, knowing that buying the issue with his face on the cover would come back to bite me in the ass.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, snatching the magazine out of his hands and placing it on my desk. He looked really good, not that he ever didn't, but that month that he'd spent in rehab had really done him well.

The circles that had been around his eyes from sleep deprivation, or taking whatever it was that he was on, were nearly gone. He'd even gained a couple of pounds, making him look like the Peter I'd met at my Homecoming. So, I really couldn't help it when a shiver went through me just by taking his sight in. I didn't think I'd ever get over just how overwhelmingly beautiful he was.

His pale face formed a small frown and he pulled me down on his lap, "I came to see you. Oh, and ask you if you've opened the late birthday present I got you."

I shook my head, and he frowned, but almost immediately started attacking my skin with his lips. It was tempting to stay like this, me in his lap, with his arms draped around my waist and kissing my collarbone. And the fact that my bed was at our disposal, really didn't help. After all, it had been months since I'd had my way with him and I could only imagine how he must have felt as well.

But then I remembered that everyone was downstairs, probably eating breakfast. I could imagine Nathan with his paper and Angela conversing with Heidi about the new center they were building in Brooklyn. Ever since we'd returned from England, she'd had this change in her, it was bizarre, really.

"Peter, stop," I was already regretting it, but it was too risky to do anything at the Petrelli mansion. And considering how strained Nathan's relationship was with Peter, he'd probably castrate him, which I totally _didn't_ want.

When he laid down and sighed, I took the opportunity to get up from his lap and went to the closet to pick out my clothes. It amazed me how I actually had an outfit planned out in my head; living with Peter those few months had completely changed my outlook on dressing.

Still, from my room I could hear his voice, "Why? We could stay in your room _all_ day. We both don't have anything to do."

Even though he couldn't see me, I shook my head, aghast by his suggestion. We were already risking things by him being in my room. And he wanted to make it obvious by fucking me all day? It was tempting, but I had self control, "You can't be serious. You think no one would notice the both of us just being locked up in here?"

"I told you. I don't care if they know," he paused and I could feel him behind me, holding my waist from the back. "You're more important to me than them. I'll tell them, now- you know I would-"

"Don't!" my own voice snapping surprised me. He was hurt, and I could tell, I felt bad but he had to understand, "I don't want to lose another family, Peter. Don't you get that? It might not matter to you, but for the first time in a while, I feel like I belong. I don't want to lose that again."

We both stood there for a while. It was the first time I'd ever had an awkward silence with him. The worst thing was, I couldn't decipher what he was thinking. I couldn't make out his facial expression, and that scared me- because I usually always could.

He finally smiled, and moved some of my hair back, "OK. If that's what makes you happy."

"It does. I want you, Peter, but I want them too." I surprised my own self. It was only days earlier that I had thrown myself on his lap in the limo. I'd been desperate for his touch and kisses, and I had that now. The feeling of his skin wasn't something unattainable now, but it scared me how it threatened the peace with my family.

A knock at my door startled us, "Claire, we're going to be late." It was Nathan. I cursed internally, we were planning a surprise birthday for Heidi, and he'd asked me to help him pick out a present for her.

And I'd completely forgotten that he'd made an appointment at Tiffany's for us to look around. Dreading his reaction, I turned around to look at Peter, who looked nothing more than confused that Nathan was at my door. I grimaced, "I'll be right down- give me a few minutes."

When we heard his footsteps fading, Peter smirked as I clasped my bra on, "What? Is it father-daughter bonding time?"

"Oh, God, don't tell me you're actually jealous." I scoffed, slipping my shirt over my shoulder, "He is my dad, Peter. Besides, I'm helping him pick out Heidi's present." I'd never admit it to him, but his jealousy was sort of cute. I enjoyed seeing his face get all red and flustered.

There was something odd about his expression, though, "And I'm your uncle."

"I hope you're not suggesting something. Because we both know that this," I pointed towards him and me, "Is completely different...Look, if you're going to be a baby about it, why don't you come shopping with us?"

He was considering it, I could tell. But the next moment he scoffed and shook his head, putting a hand through his long bangs, and sucking on his lollipop again. It was weird, really, his lips were all red, and I could smell the sweetness of it. Still, he took it out, and sighed, "No, I wouldn't want to intervene. Besides, I have a few things to do anyway, I guess."

"What's with the lollipop?" I blurted it out, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

Peter frowned and looked at his lollipop, then back at me, pointing to it with a questioning look. I was seriously starting to wonder if he was testing my patience, "This?" He bit down on his lip, and smirked, "Apparently, I have an oral fixation. Lollipops are supposed to help with that."

Whether to smile or be freaked out about the confession, I didn't know. I'd never personally heard about an oral fixation before. But Peter obviously found it amusing, so I merely shrugged, and pulled up my pants. I wondered what his fans would think if they knew his niece changed in front of him? Again, I couldn't help but let a tiny smile travel to my lips.

"So look. After your bonding time with Nathan, do you have anything in mind?" His eyes traveled down me, and he pulled me towards him with great force, so that his sweet cherry breath hit my face and caused me to close my eyes in enjoyment.

The same feeling that had taken me over months ago, when he'd entranced me and my entire body had gone numb, suddenly returned. I didn't think I'd ever complain about the effect he'd had on me. It was a pleasant buzz that erupted throughout my body when our skin touched.

With a breathy exhale, I fluttered my eyes back open at him, "I really didn't have anything in mind, why? Do you?"

There was no doubt in my head that he knew just exactly what his crooked smile did to me. I loved it, I was weak for it, I could become his slave forever more and die a happy girl. With that smile, he could probably convince me to rob a bank and I'd have no objection to it. It was divine and magnificent, mischievous, devious and malignant altogether.

"Well, I was _hoping _we could go out. Since you find it too uncomfortable to be in the same room as me here- perhaps a change of scenery would help?" He let his words out slowly and softly. I was sure it was some type of hypnosis thing he did on me- there was no other explanation for it. Which would of course, explained the reason I was inching closer to his lips- they were calling my name.

Nathan screamed my name again from downstairs, and I flinched- he had absolutely the worst timing. I sighed, backing away from Peter, and grabbing both my sweater and my purse on my way out, "Just convince Angela to let you go out."

.................

It became apparent almost immediately to me that shopping with Nathan was going to be vastly different that shopping with Peter. With Peter, it was smooth and when he saw something that caught his eye that was simply it, a must have thing. He didn't change his mind, or ask to see it in a different color, or perhaps a slightly different style. No, he pretty much went with the flow.

Not Nathan. The way he paced back and forth the tension built up in his chest was evident. And when he pulled on his tie out of anxiety, it started getting to me. It was simple. We'd gotten down to two items. One was a silver necklace with a diamond pendant, it was simple, but elegant- just like Heidi. The other was a tennis bracelet that could have a customized message around it. Now it was only up to Nathan to make the decision.

Usually, I prided myself with being a patient person. It was difficult for someone or something to make me tap my fingers in urgency- but I couldn't stand to see Nathan in such turmoil over not knowing what to pick out for Heidi. So, I decided I'd walk around- needing some space from him, so I could let the own anxiety in my chest that had built up go away. It helped a little, to walk around the store aimlessly and just look into the glass cases.

I found it magical to be in Tiffany's, and couldn't help at think back to the Halloween party Angela had hosted at the Petrelli mansion, where she'd dressed me up as Holly Golightly. Somehow, I think I identified with her. We both weren't from New York. We were both from the Midwest, and had been trying to find out who we truly were- to identify ourselves. In the beginning, that's how I had felt living with the Petrelli's. Like I somehow hadn't belonged- like I needed to find my true home. I guess my Doc had been Andy, who'd turned out to be gay in the end.

I really couldn't help at snicker at that thought.

A glass case caught my eye, and I stalled, taking the beautiful jewelry piece in. It was rather simple, but beautiful at the same time. A necklace was what caught my eye; it was a simple, silver chain, with a round pendant hanging and a P engraved in it. To any other person, it would have been an insignificant piece, something that no one would have taken notice of, but I simply had to have it.

Never in my life had I been into jewelry. All the jewelry I had, I had received as a gift. But, when the sales lady passed by, I stopped her, "Can I have that please?"

When I swiped the Platinum credit card Nathan had given me, I didn't feel nearly as guilty as I'd thought. I was a Petrelli, I was completely right to spoil myself once in a while. Actually, if I thought about it, that was the first time I had ever really bought myself anything of that amount with the credit card, and it was totally worth it.

Across the room, as I started walking, I could tell by Nathan's body language that he had finally decided. When I got to him, he turned and smiled at me, patting my hair affectionately. I was surprised, but felt touched. I guess it was his way of thanking me, when wording it was still difficult. Still, I took it as a compliment and noticed that the sales man was busy putting in the order of the bracelet to be engraved.

Nathan took notice of my own small blue bag then, "What did you buy?"

"Oh, just a little late birthday present for myself". I smiled back eagerly.

....................

The Petrelli house was thick with tension when we got back.

Somehow, an argument had arisen between Angela and Peter. It was the oddest thing I had ever seen actually. Never, in the time I had known Peter, had I seen his face full of fury and talking back to his mother the way he was now. It was red and completely full of disdain. He had his arms crossed, and some of his bangs had carelessly fallen in front of his face- it was scary yet completely hot at the same time.

"I'm not a child," he let out in a low, cold, sharp voice.

I turned to Nathan, who whistled and stepped forward, "What the hell is going on here?"

"It's nothing dear, Peter here was just going to bed, weren't you?" She bowed her head slightly at him, raising an eyebrow and smiling.

He blinked, "No", then turned to Nathan, the shock in his eyes still not gone, "Mom snuck into my room and stole my wallet. She's refusing to give it back to me."

Nathan gave his mom a disappointed look, and crossed his arms as well, mimicking Peter, "Ma, don't you think that's a bit immature for your age? Why did you take Pete's wallet?"

If Angela was hurt, she didn't show it. In fact, she looked even more confident than she had before. A small wry smile formed on her face, and she delicately fixed her hair, turning to face Nathan, "Your _brother_ wants to go out. I hardly think it's a good idea for him to be wandering off on his own, especially with money on him, it's just too risky. I tried to explain that, but he seems intent on disobeying me."

He shook his head and scoffed, "I told you I'm not a fucking kid, and I'm not going to go get wasted-I learned my lesson."

"Ma has a point, Pete. You shouldn't go out alone, just to be safe. Why don't you take someone with you?" He turned to me with a questioning look, pausing to think.

I nodded immediately putting my innocent face on, playing along as if I didn't already know what Peter was doing. Because he could have easily persuaded Angela to give him his wallet and leave. What he wanted to do was make a legitimate reason for both of us to leave at the same time, without stirring up any curiosity, "I wouldn't mind going out with you for a while."

He sighed, and pursed his lips- I had to give him props, when he wanted to, he could act. Then again, I guess that came along with being a model, "Sure", His eyes diverted back to a relieved Angela, "My wallet?"

"I'll go get it." I watched as Angela turned briskly on her heel and headed down the hall.

Nathan, Peter, and I stood there afterwards awkwardly, not really sure of what to say next. But a few seconds later he was saved by Monty calling him from the kitchen. After he left, Peter broke out into a smile, and grabbed me so quickly I didn't see it coming. His kiss was fast, hard and urgent. I could have stayed like that longer, but footsteps coming from the study broke us apart, and I sighed.

He winked at me, "Later."

..............

I wasn't really sure what movie we got tickets to, but it didn't matter once we were both inside of the theatre and I was straddling his lap. His lips were tracing urgent and hot kisses on my neck, lazily, while I had my hands in his hair, letting out small moans. His kisses returned to my mouth, holding the back of my head and pushing my face towards him, hard. It had been so long that I couldn't take it, I needed him.

In a way, I felt like we were both teenagers again, sneaking away from our parents to mess around. It was funny how we had resorted to making out in empty movie theatre. But I couldn't honestly care less. All that mattered at the moment was making sure he didn't take his lips off mine. He groaned into my mouth and I couldn't help but move my hips down on his lap and bite his lower lip, hungrily. He hissed and let one of his hands go up my shirt, and God, I so did _not_ object to that.

"I really want you," I whispered into his ear, not being able to take it anymore.

His response was the hardness that was growing beneath me. And when he effortlessly picked me up, and pulled my hand, so that I'd followed him, I frowned confused-But he turned back to me with a smirk, "Fuck the movie."

OK, so my heart had a momentary flutter of butterflies and started pounding heavily, but so what? I was willing to bet that my raging hormones were right up there with his. Not that he minded, I thought. If anything, I wanted to egg on his sudden desire for me too. I liked the feeling of being a teenager again and having to sneak around, it was so bad- and that only added to our other little predicaments.

But all those butterflies and desires of skin upon skin evaporated into thin air when we were met outside the theater by a pair of oggly-eyed teenagers staring at Peter and giggling. They were both brunettes and one of them was clutching the same Cosmo magazine that Peter had been reading in my room right before I'd gotten out of the tub.

One of the girls' squealed, "O-M-G! They weren't lying, it's really him! But who's that chick with him?" One of the brunettes whispered to the other, oh not so subtly. At this, I let go of Peter's hand.

The other one waved a hand insignificantly, "Oh, that's just his niece!" My heart tore a little again, it would always be like this. I was his niece, which meant I was no competition, which meant all the girls could fantasize about being with the supermodel Peter Petrelli- I blinked my eyes, not knowing it would make me cry. I didn't want to though, not here, not with these bimbos watching me- not with Peter.

"Can I have your autograph?" The girl basically pleaded with her eyes and walked forward to Peter, actually, too close to him. I wanted nothing more in that moment but to pull her by her hair and push her off to the other side; Peter was mine.

But of course that didn't happen, he just smiled at her and murmured an 'of course', as she handed him her pen, and he motioned for the magazine. The girl giggled and shook her head, raising her shirt up. I felt my face flush red, and desperately bit my tongue from preventing myself of saying anything, "Can you autograph my hip? Please? I totally am going to get it tattooed!"

I turned to Peter slightly, to see what his reaction was. He only blinked, but nodded, bending over to autograph her stomach. He placed his fingers on the other side of her hip; I looked up to the girl to see her closing her eyes, probably savoring the moments of having Peter Petrelli's hands on her. God, I wanted to punch her.

When he was done, he stood back up and handed her the pen with a smile- always the gentleman my Peter.

...............

When we were outside, I finally cursed them out, seeing Peter smirk at my anger, "You shouldn't get so worked up over girls like that, Claire."

He was right, I really didn't have a reason to other than my insane jealousy. I couldn't help but want to kill every single girl that laid eyes on Peter. They all had an advantage over me, they weren't related to him, and as such would be ok to bring home to the Petrelli family.

"Can't you stop being a supermodel now? I mean- I don't think it's necessary. You could always go back to being a nurse..."

Peter shook his head, and took out another lollipop. This time, it was watermelon flavored, and as we passed a guy smoking on the side walk, he gave an involuntary sigh, and sucked harder on it, frowning a bit.

I couldn't help it- I rolled my eyes, "And you know what? If you wouldn't be so stubborn, and just let Mohinder inject you with my blood, you would totally not be addicted to anything anymore."

"I know, Claire. You've told me like fifteen times, but you have to understand that I want to do this on my own. I don't want the easy road- I need to do it my way."

The scoff came out by itself, I really couldn't help it, "No offense, but your way sucks."

We hailed a cab, and got in, as soon as the door was closed and Peter gave the driver our destination, I frowned, "Home? Already? I thought we were going to go rendezvous at your lovely apartment?"

His lips parted and met my neck with slow, nuzzling kisses that always managed to bring my heartbeat up to a dangerous number, "We don't want to make them suspicious, remember? You _love_ your family."

He had taken his mouth off my neck, but I could feel his smile, "Oh, _fuck _you."

"Mm, with pleasure", his lips brushed my neck again, hungrily. My stomach did another flip with his comment, and I felt a nice, pleasurable shiver go through me. It was so unlike Peter to say something like that, I didn't get it, yet, I welcomed it.

Though, instead of continuing his little, affectionate touches, he sat straight back up and grinned at me, "What's so funny?"

I heard him chuckle and shake his head, and then he grabbed my face and kissed me. It wasn't needy and passionate, laced with subliminal messages that he wanted something as well- it was just...sweet. The kiss was soft and slow, so full of emotion that I had never truly felt from him. It was a kiss I would have wanted from my old Peter, when he was just a hospice nurse and we were running around saving people.

Seeing as how he wasn't going to expand on his sudden change in behavior I sighed, and pulled his head down on to my lap, playing with his hair, "So what are you doing tomorrow?"

Peter pulled one of my wrists from his hair and kissed it- it made me smile, "More therapy- oh and Adam's coming along for some strange reason? After that, we're going back to London the next day- I have a Burberry shoot the day after-"

As quickly as my joy had come from having him and being able to sneak off whenever we please came- it evaporated into thin air. It made no real sense, but I didn't care- I wanted him with me still. The thought of not knowing how he'd be in a foreign country scared the hell out of me.

"But-no-Peter, you can't leave again. Can't you just stay here? What if something happens? What if you relapse? _Oh_ and all those _models_-"

He put his hand up to stop me from continuing my ridiculous tirade. I couldn't help it though, I couldn't stand the thought of anything happening and it wasn't like he had to work- we both knew that, "Claire- I can't just sit around and do nothing. I have to keep doing 'productive' things."

Still, not satisfied, I frowned, "Why London? Why can't you stay here? I don't like you being far away."

"Then come with me. The semester is over, you aren't in summer school- just do it."

I didn't have to answer- he already knew what I'd say, which was why at that precise moment, I couldn't stand him. It wasn't simple; I couldn't just fly off with him without arising any suspicion, and he knew it. He was doing it to taunt me, to test me- and I hated him for it. Of course I loved him, more than I loved myself, but I couldn't bare to lose another family. Not one that had welcomed me with open arms after so many years.

There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes, and when the cab driver stopped in front of the Petrelli mansion, he turned over to me with a sad smile, "But that's just it, isn't it? You wont."

........

All morning, I had been bracing myself. If Adam was going with Peter to the therapist- it could really only mean one thing. I'd thought about asking Angela, but had decided against it. Sure she was on a nice streak right now, with all her charities and donations to various places, but I wasn't going to test her.

Instead I'd decided to sit myself on his bed, like he had on mine the day before. There weren't any magazines for me to read, or pictures to look at- actually it was rather bare compared to mine, except for his mountain of CD's.

The walk-in closet was immaculate, and sized by the lengths of the sleeves. If it were anyone else, I would have assumed that the maid kept it nice and tidy, but I could tell this was Peter's doing. He took his time making sure that everything was as perfect as it looked, and he did a good job.

The slam of the door startled me, and I looked up to see a disgruntled Peter walking in, and throwing his jacket on the floor, angrily, then looking up at me, "Did you know?"

There were a few things I knew that he didn't, but I couldn't just randomly give myself up. There was the pregnancy, the fact that Adam was his biological father...none of which I wanted to talk to him about. He did something then, that I didn't expect- I'd never seen Peter cry, or even be close to tears before. So when he sat next to me on his bed, and hid his head into my stomach, I wasn't sure why until I felt him shake against me.

All I could think about was patting his head and hugging him closer to me, "I'm sorry, Peter, I overheard Adam talking to Angela one night...that Easter party you came to. I was going to tell you, but Adam said you were such a mess that we should wait instead."

He shook against me instead and wrapped his arms around my waist, causing both of us to fall back on the bed. I kissed his hair, wanting nothing more at that moment than to be able to rid him of the insufferable pain he was going through.

I heard him give a shaky sigh, "It's not that, really. I mean- If I have to be honest with myself, I guess that I never felt like I connected with my dad. But it's the fact that the lies will never end," We were in a weird position, and his head was ducked under my breasts, but he still kissed my stomach, "It's different with you though, I know that you're honest with me."

That was it, I mentally cursed. Telling him about the lost pregnancy, or hallucination or what ever it had been, wasn't something I had wanted to share with him. Mostly because it hadn't happened, and because we both had never wanted children anyway. But I knew that if I kept it a secret from him, I'd never be at peace with myself. And sure it wasn't exactly the right moment to tell him, but if I didn't then, I highly doubted that I'd muster up the courage to do it later on.

In any case, the worst that could happen was that he'd be mad, but he wouldn't leave me- I knew that, I hoped for that. I sat up on the bed and he looked at me strangely, with tears still streaming down his beautiful porcelain face.

"Peter- remember when you asked me if I was pregnant or not, in London?" I asked, swallowing. He nodded slowly, "I was."

For a moment he didn't do anything, but lay there and looked at me with those incredibly hurt hazel eyes. I wanted to reach out and cup his face to kiss him, but it wasn't the moment. After a while he ran his hands through his hair and sighed, not looking at me, "What did you and Andy do about it?"

I frowned, biting down so hard on my lip that I felt a tinge of blood on my tongue, "That's just it- I never slept with Andy, Peter...he's gay."

"You were pregnant though. So you were pregnant with my?..." He didn't finish his sentence, instead his eyes got wide and his mouth stayed open. It was sort of funny, because I'd never seen him in shock before.

There was nothing else I could think of, but to nod, and right when he was about to speak again, I put my hand up, "No- I didn't get an abortion. I went for a check up the day that we got the call that you were in the hospital, and it simply wasn't there anymore. The obstetrician said it was as if I'd never been pregnant to begin with."

"Well..." He stared into space a little, still shocked, but there was a little quirk in the corner of his mouth, as if he wanted to smile, "Fuck. I guess we _weren't_ really ever meant to have any offspring." And then he was smiling again. That dazzling smile that had taken my breath away so many times and made me feel as if I were close to passing out.

It was tentative, but I grew my own smile, "So- you aren't upset?"

He shook his head and pulled me into him, so I was placed on his lap in an odd position, "Like I said, Claire, all I'll ever need is you. If it had been different, and you'd stayed pregnant, I would have dealt with it, and I would have loved that child tremendously- because it came from you. But, I don't think I would have ever been able to love it as much as I love you. We have a selfish love, remember?"

......

Two days. Two unbearable, hot, dry, boring days. That's how long Peter had been gone and away doing shoots and being the grand super model, Peter Petrelli, while I was stuck in Manhattan, bored to death. I was starting to regret not taking his offer and going with him to London, but then, that would have complicated things as well, and I wasn't looking for that.

So on the second day that he was gone, I decided to actually do something, instead of just being bored out of my mind and counting how many different types of flowers Heidi had in her garden. She was good company sometimes, but her obsession over flowers was such a stay at home cliché and such a bore that I wondered how Nathan put up with it.

Monty, Simon, and I had gone out for ice cream at Gharedeli's. It was an Italian ice cream parlor that Angela had donated some money to. Her excuse had been that we should support our roots and the less fortunate of them. I seriously didn't know if it was just a faze that she was going through, or if she had honestly turned over a new leaf. Either way, I had shaken off my surprise and accompanied my brothers to get ice cream. They were both interesting boys. Simon was obsessed with all comic books, and I couldn't help thinking how ironic it was, when our dad was basically Superman in my eyes.

Then there was Monty who was into science and said there was always an explanation for everything. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but I wondered if either of them had an ability now.

I had gotten pistachio ice cream and savored the flavor in my mouth as if it were the last I'd ever taste. There was something inkling at my back lately- something that couldn't let me rest, and it only heightened when Peter was away- like he wasn't safe if he wasn't with me. And pistachio reminded me of him for some reason, it was great, my favorite- the flavor I loved more than any other, and yet as I was licking it I was afraid of it leaving- afraid of finishing it.

I could feel this anxiety on my chest, something wasn't right. I knew it was ridiculous to feel this way over some ice cream, but I couldn't help it. It only made me want Peter more, miss him more- and wish he'd come back.

When we got back to the mansion and through the two French doors, Heidi was waiting for me in the kitchen with a peculiar expression on her face. She was sitting on a stool and both boys went to kiss her cheek and left towards the family room. But I stood there smiling at her, "What is it?"

Her eyesight moved towards the table and I noticed some flowers laying casually on them, with a letter next to them. Heidi looked at me amused, and then at the flowers and the letter, "Um- It's addressed to you."

I looked at the arrangement. It was a bouquet of purple flowers, some type that I hadn't ever seen before. I looked at the letter she was holding now, it was in a black envelope, and I could already imagine who it was from- without a doubt.

She handed it to me and I ripped it open immediately, wondering why he was sending me a letter, normally it wasn't his style.

__

Meet me at my apartment at 5:00pm.

I frowned looking up at the flowers, not knowing whether it was sweet or a strange thing for him to do. But it was already 4:30 and I only had a half hour to get to his apartment, for God knows what. I let a smile grow on my lips, taking the flowers from Heidi and smelling them, they had a strange scent, but they were beautiful- and I closed my eyes to enjoy them. I went to touch them, but Heidi yanked them from me.

"Claire, wait-these-these are deadly nightshades- they're poisonous flowers."

I scoffed, shaking my head, and grabbing them back, "That's crazy. Why would Peter send me poisonous flowers?"

It was too late, it came out before I could catch myself, and Heidi looked at me, "Peter?"

"I have to go. I have to meet him," I mostly muttered to myself, but knew that she was hearing. I grabbed my coat and ran out of the mansion, not waiting to see her reaction. My heart palpitated, and anticipation ran through out me. It had only been two days since I'd seen Peter, but my ache for him was as when he'd left me for those months.

Even as I climbed the cab and told him the directions, my heart did not stop beating outrageously. It was like my entire body was aware that I'd be seeing him, and was reacting to the thought of being close to him- the undeniable _need_.

The drive was as always, unnerving, and seemed to take forever. I hated cabs- if I wasn't with Peter in one, I couldn't stand to ride in one. So when we made it to his apartment complex, I almost stumbled out, and threw the money at the cab driver. My desire to see his wondrous and beautiful lips was my driving force. It was what I was feeding off.

I was almost sure that if any other person would have had my beating heart at that moment, the speed would have been fatal, but thanks to my tissue regeneration, and honestly, my lack in caring about it, I ran. I sprinted into the building, anticipation growing inside of me, just knowing that soon- I'd be face to face with the one and only constant thing in my life that I enjoyed.

When I got to the front of his door, it was unlocked. I couldn't help at smile to myself, he'd probably knew of my desperate need to see him, and had left it unlocked for my consideration. I walked through the door, trying to control my excitement, and hide the smug smile that had grown on my lips. But when I was inside, it only multiplied.

There were thousands of red rose petals on the floor, and candles placed on almost the entire surfaces of the apartment. As I kept on walking, I found a red sleeveless satin dress with a note on top of it.

__

Take off what you're wearing and put this on.

I didn't hesitate. I shed what I was wearing, and quickly changed into the dress, wondering where all these sudden romantic ideas were coming from. It wasn't that Peter wasn't romantic, he was just less inclined to do anything of that sort. But this? I didn't mind it so much, after all, a girl liked surprises once in a while.

When I was done changing, I kept walking forward, my heart still beating so fast, I was afraid it would suddenly rip out of my body. I got to the living room and hear a door slam violently behind me, and steps coming towards me. I closed my eyes, and smiled, slowly turning around, "Peter, this is too romantic."

"I know right? Peter would never think of something like this!" said a perky girl voice.

The beating of my heart suddenly stopped, and I opened to see none other than Elle Bishop in front of me. She was wearing a girly black tux, one hand behind her back, and her hair was done down in loose curls, I had always wondered what Peter had seen in her. She was pretty, but it was more than obvious that she was a little psychotic.

"Did you like my flowers?" She asked, her smile was maddening- scary, and perky, and frightening beyond compare, "You had no idea how hard it was to find the perfect flowers to send you, Claire. I was hoping those would kill you, but I guess you didn't touch them did you? Then again, you have that whole regeneration thing, so it probably wouldn't have worked anyway."

I licked my lips, looking around, "Where's Peter?"

She blinked her eyes, and her smile grew to an unrealistic proportion, "Oh, he's still in London somewhere! Don't worry, I made sure I planned this so that he wouldn't interrupt our little date."

Elle took a step towards me, and I took a step back, nervously, looking around, and then back at her, "He'll come. He'll know that you're here-"

But that didn't scare her. She merely flapped her hand, as if shooing something away, and cocked her head to the side, "Nope, my Claire bear. Its just you, me-" she took out her hand that had been hiding in her back. It was holding a needle, "And _Shanti_."


	41. Part XXXIV

**Author's Note:** So this is the last chatper before the ending! I just want to take a moment and say, thank you ALL for reading and motivating me through out this long, long fic. This is the longest piece i've ever written and actually completed, and that's thanks to all of you.

I also want to thank Ellie for always beta'ing this story! She's the best, and I couldn't have done this without her!!!

Without further due, here's the last chapter to BOBN...

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**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

_Part XXXIV_

__

Elle took a step towards me, and I took a step back, nervously, looking around, and then back at her, "He'll come. He'll know that you're here-"

__

But that didn't scare her. She merely flapped her hand, as if shooing something away, and cocked her head to the side, "Nope, my Claire bear. Its just you, me-" she took out her hand that had been hiding in her back. It was holding a needle, "And Shanti."....

__

48 hours earlier...

..."Like I said, Claire, all I'll ever need is you. If it had been different, and you'd stayed pregnant, I would have dealt with it, and I would have loved that child tremendously- because it came from you. But, I don't think I would have ever been able to love it as much as I love you. We have a selfish love, remember?"

There were things about Peter that Claire would never get over. For instance, the tiny scar next to his lip that not even her regenerative ability had been able to heal. There was his unmistakable lip that was crooked, and the pink flush that came to it when he kissed her. The way they would touch her ever so softly and just linger against hers, as if sucking her love in. Living in the moment of their kiss was breathtaking to her.

How she could have ever mistaken herself to love Andy even half as much as she loved Peter, she didn't know. Here he was, completely ok with what she had to tell him, so understanding, so caring and loving and holding her with such contentment in his arms. He was perfect. Maybe not to others in their eyes, and sure he had more than his share of flaws, but that's just what granted him perfection.

It was his ability to love her unconditionally, to bestow such profound kisses on her skin, to understand all her ridiculous decisions and still be there, even when she didn't want to reveal their not so innocent love for each other.

The kiss was tentative and slow, and Claire could feel Peter's heartbeat quicken under the thin material of his shirt. She frowned, wondering why he was so nervous. Was it that he was afraid of her rejection again? Was he questioning his decision to be ok with her confession about the pregnancy? Or were his hormones suddenly racing like her own? She was hoping for the latter.

In the middle of their slow kiss, he pulled back and sighed, "Wait. Since we're shedding confessions here- I have one too."

Confused and curious, Claire frowned and pushed back some of his ridiculously sexy bangs, "What is it?"

Whatever it was, she was pretty sure it couldn't be nearly as bad as hers. She highly doubted it was capable of him to hide something from her as she had from him. Unless- he had cheated on her with Elle. _That_ she'd never be able to forgive, for one because Elle was psychotic, crazy, and if he was going to cheat on her then _at least_ he could do it with some gorgeous model-

"I haven't cheated on you."

Claire sighed, and couldn't help blushing, "Good, because I was starting to get-" She paused and cocked her head to the side, "Wait. How...?"

But he didn't need to tell her to know what was happening. Could it be possible? Could he be getting his powers back after so long? This would mean he would live with her forever, and they could wait to be as blasé about their love as they wanted to be because they had eternity to enjoy each other's company. As she thought all of that, a slow but steady smile grew on her face, and she couldn't help it- it was magnificent that this was happening.

His own tiny smirk confirmed her beliefs, and she threw her arms around his neck instantly, "Don't get too excited. I can't literally read your thoughts- its more like broken whispers. But, that's part of it...that's not all of it."

She brought her face down to look at him, with a doubtful grin, her arms still enveloped around him, "What are you talking about?"

"I got them back before." He paused, licking his lips, nerves evidently surging through him, "Remember all those months ago, when we'd go to Mohinder's and I'd get a daily dosage of your blood?" He still squirmed under her touch at the thought of it. Peter had never really warmed up to the feeling of having needles stabbed inside his arms, well...then again- She stopped herself before finishing that thought. If he could read her mind then he'd read that, and she didn't really want to bring that topic back up, not after all the progress he'd made. She'd only ruin their moods, which then would mean no sex-

"Claire, can you focus please?" There was a note of exasperation in his voice.

She grimaced, "Sorry- yeah, I remember- continue."

He licked his lips again, "-I got them back then. All of them. I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to excite you or anything. What if it wasn't permanent and if I lost them again? Not only that, but it was hard accepting I had them back, I guess. I didn't have good memories of them, only the old, bitter ones of losing you, and I associated that with them. I thought that things would only worsen again, and they did."

As he had said it, there had been a flash of so many raw emotions and memories running through his fragile face that it almost brought Claire to tears. She hated seeing him go through any pain, and knew that even though him getting them back made her sublimely happy- that he, he was still having a rough time with it. But she promised at that moment, that from that moment on she'd do everything in her power so he'd only have good memories- Peter deserved that and so much more.

He'd gone through so much, been thrown to the curb by his family in his most desperate and needy state and had still survived, barely. Sometimes Claire wondered just how far worse he would have been if she had waited to come back to New York and see her family. Would he have died? The thought made her head feel light, and nothing had ever done that. She never wanted to think of the possibility that he could have died. He was ok now, and that's all that mattered in her world.

"Claire. Remember that night that I came home, and you were talking on the phone? And I said something about having to leave- and you were nervous? You were talking on the phone with Andy- I read your thoughts. You were mad that I had shown up then, and you said you loved him, that you were going to meet him at the cafe? And do you remember how I was gone for a few days, and I was here, and you came with Andy? I wasn't working, I only said that to get away from you because I thought you were still secretly in love with Andy."

If heartache existed in a real life form, for Claire it would have been a sharp knife at her gut, taking her Tissue Regeneration away. The thought of Peter hearing that and assuming that she was in love with Andy...she couldn't begin to imagine what type of pain he must of been in. Claire shook her head, "Oh, you fool."

She took his face, and pulled it to hers. His breath was shaky, and she saw as his Adam's apple moved, swallowing. His eyesight was down, looking towards her chest, "Claire...what is that? What does the 'P' stand for?"

Peter pulled himself away from her to analyze it, while her heart thumped faster inside her chest again. Claire had completely forgotten about the necklaces she'd bought at Tiffany's. That was one of the reasons she was there, but she hadn't stopped to think of what his reaction would be seeing her wear it.

"It's a necklace I bought at Tiffany's, it stands for Peter. But for everyone else, it's P for Petrelli," she murmured, whilst he looked at her with an inexplicable expression that frightened her. The thought that he would hate it hadn't really crossed her mind as she had made the purchase, and now it scared her how realistic it could be.

His hand went for it, and his thumb and forefinger rubbed against the pendant, taking the sight of it in with a slight frown on his forehead, "Why?"

Claire swallowed, "Because I branded myself- I'm yours, Peter. And sometimes- Sometimes I suddenly realize what we're doing, how wrong it is, and I get scared. I don't want to lose them, I don't want to think of you in any other way, and I love being yours. It only made sense."

All of what she had said came rushing out, almost as if she had to explain herself so that he wouldn't forget either. She felt like he was frowning at her decision, but when his frown vanished and a smile replaced it instead, relief filled her, "Well, it's hardly fair for you to have one and not me."

It was ridiculous how his smile could instantly cure her insecurities and worry. She smiled and took out the little blue box that she'd completely forgotten she'd brought with her, and handed it to him.

"Of course I didn't forget about you. Believe me, Peter, you are _so_ mine", she held his face and gave him a playfully stern look, but her straight face turned into a smile, and she couldn't help herself again. It's like her lips were addicted to his, yeah, that was really the only explanation.

She let go of his face, and Peter slowly untied the white bow that held it closed. His handwork was so slow that Claire felt like snatching the box from his hands and simply opening it herself, but she didn't. The sheer look of contentment on his face as he opened the box and took the necklace out was enough to make those butterflies in her come back.

The way he smiled and held it, examining the cursive 'C' on it, was divine. Claire watched as he unlatched it and put it around his neck. When he was done, she pulled his head in for a kiss and lingered for a second, before she pulled away slightly so that their foreheads were still resting on each other. The moment was perfect, and maybe to others it would have been cheesy, but they weren't them. And she thought that they, more than anyone, deserved their cliché feelings at the moment and their pendants. Because after all that they had been through, this moment for Claire felt like finally being home.

Things were quiet, and she watched as Peter bowed his head slightly and she caressed his cheek. Like almost every other second of the day, she couldn't help but take in his features. It would always mystify her how it was that he was so angelic looking. His eyes were so caring and big; she loved the green tinge they had sometimes in the right lighting. And his strength, sure he wasn't physically strong, because if anything he was completely frail, but he went through so much every day, and never broke down.

He moved his cheek against her hand and sighed, "Claire, you worship me too much," he murmured.

"No, I don't do it nearly enough." With that said, she pulled his face back up and smiled, "I never told you did I?"

Peter frowned, but smiled back and kissed her softly, "Told me what?"

Claire giggled against him and at his slow, soft, gentle kisses that had started traveling down her neck, "See, I always thought you were my Edward, but I was completely wrong-"

She stopped when his hand traveled under her shirt to cup her breast. Her eyes fluttered, and she let out an involuntary heavy breath. The feeling of his fingers traveling through her skin left a tingly feeling behind, causing her to close her eyes in pleasure. Sensing what he was doing to her, he traveled further down, leaving butterfly kisses on her rising stomach, "Oh, really?"

With a slow nod and a 'Mhm', she tried to focus, but it was so difficult, "But I had it wrong. You weren't ever my Edward. You were my Bella, and I was your Edward."

Almost immediately, the kissing stopped and Peter looked up at her with a quizzical expression, "How?..."

"Well, Edward is strong and will live forever. Bella is weak, clumsy, she falls down a lot, and she's mortal", She pouted, "So eventually she'll die."

Peter chuckled and traveled back up to take her lips into his and kiss her senseless. When he was pretty sure she'd completely lost her breath, he pulled away from her and smiled, "Don't worry my _Edward_, we'll get our Breaking Dawn too."

__

A Reneesme too?

The thought had come out before, she had time to prevent it. It shocked her that it had, she wasn't even sure that she wanted that. The thought of it had always lingered in the back of her head like a possibility- but an unattainable one. It hadn't really been something she'd ever desired, even when she'd been with Andy, but with Peter- things were different. She wasn't completely opposed to the idea.

His hands brought her face up to his own shocked expression; he had read her mind. He looked just as shocked by her revelation as she felt. Would he oppose it now? He had said before that, had she still been pregnant, he would have loved the baby. Even now, would he still hold up that offer?

Peter's breathing had become a little bit heavier, "Claire...do you? Do you want a-"

There was a loud knock on the door that startled the both of them apart instantly. When they didn't say anything, the knock came again, only this time it was louder and there was a voice on the other side, "Pete- it's me. Can we talk?"

Claire cursed internally and looked at Peter, feeling her eyes stretch. There wasn't any way that Nathan could catch her inside his room with the door locked. It was too suspicious, and she didn't want to go into explanations of any sort. Her panic was ridiculous, but she couldn't help it, she didn't want to lose them-

Peter looked at the door, then back at Claire, "Uh...Can you give me a moment?"

__

Closet- now.

She nodded once, and tiptoed to it, trying to keep her steps as silent as possible. When she was inside, Peter gave her a final kiss and smirked, "God, this is so high school," then closed the door.

She couldn't help but giggle, but covered her mouth instantly. In a way, the nerve wracking situation was sort of fun. The closet was dead black; the only light that came in was the one from under the door. She could hear Peter walking over to the door and opening it for Nathan. Would he be able to tell on Peter's face that she was hiding? She hoped not.

"What took you so long to open the door, Peter?" It wasn't just curiosity in Nathan's voice, but some type of accusation that was laced within it as well, like he knew that there was something that Peter was guilty for already, "Are you hiding something?"

Peter's movements and footsteps were easy to tell apart from Nathan's. They were more hesitant and soft, but then again he was her Bella, "Nathan, if you're implying that I'm doing drugs again, I'm not. To be honest, I'm kind of sick of you thinking that all I care about is getting high."

Nathan sighed, loudly, and she could hear him pacing around the room, "Pete. You have to understand, I'm just worried about you. And you can't judge me for asking either, you were wasted for four fucking years. You didn't care- at all. You weren't the one that had to watch their brother deteriorate, you didn't have to watch as he was killing himself slowly and wouldn't let anyone help."

Fuck, Claire thought, maybe Nathan wasn't as cold hearted towards Peter as she thought he was. By the way he was speaking to him, it seemed like he cared. It wasn't the impassive, cold tone he had previously reserved for him in all conversations. No, now he sounded resentful, angry, upset, and sad- it made Claire swallow.

He continued when Peter didn't say anything, "You're still mad at me, because I've been a jackass to you-No, I know you are, Peter, don't try and argue against it. It's ok, and I'm sorry, ok? I just- I didn't know how else to act around you anymore. I was mad that you wouldn't let me help you, that you were throwing your life away so easily when- you had more potential than I ever did."

Peter snickered, "You're kidding right? You were the fucking prodigal son, Nate. In their eyes, you never did a fucking thing wrong-"

"Except Claire. But, she turned out to be one of the best," Nathan mumbled.

"She is the best." His voice was so sure, so soft- so full of certainty. Claire didn't want to listen anymore. She felt like an intruder, when it was obviously a conversation that should have been for their ears only. After a few seconds, Peter sighed and continued, "I wasn't ever going to make them proud like you, Nathan. I always accepted that."

The way he said it, it was so flat- like he worded it carefully not to put any feeling into it. She knew for a fact that he wasn't jealous or resentful of Nathan for taking up attention, or maybe being loved more- deep down, Peter loved his brother more than he'd ever admit. Claire was willing to bet he'd even give his life for Nathan.

"And that's why you just gave up? Decided to drown yourself in drugs? You never told me why you did it. I deserve to know why." She hated when he used his stern voice, like when he'd told her she had to accept the credit card or she had to come to the brunches.

There was a small thud noise, and she knew Peter was now sitting on his bed, "You know I've always been weak."

"Yeah, but not stupid." Nathan had now sat down next to him. Claire was paying full attention now, that was something she was interested in knowing too. Sure she had said that he'd done it because he was stupid and there was nothing else to occupy his time, but other than using that and her as an excuse, he hadn't ever mentioned anything else.

"I felt guilty. I thought I had killed your daughter, Nathan." As he said the words, he almost choked, "I thought you and mom blamed me- I didn't know what to do with myself. I certainly didn't think I deserved to have any powers anymore. I was a killer- besides, I was only a hospice nurse, I didn't think I was throwing my life away anyway. I didn't have much of one anymore."

"You know I never blamed you, for what happened to, Claire. To be honest, I was worried about you, Peter. Sure I was devastated over what happened to her, but I knew you were taking it really hard. I knew how difficult her death was for you. You guys have always been joined at the hip since you saved her at her Homecoming dance." If Peter was feeling the same way she was, he had stiffened, "Pete...you've always been the one thing in this family that wasn't fucked up or corrupted like the rest of us. When you got addicted- it was like you had thrown in the towel."

After that, the silence seemed eternal and Claire worried about what was happening. She felt exactly the same as Nathan, he had a great point, Peter was the one true gem of the family.

There was a ruffling noise, followed by a single sob, then Nathan's remorseful voice, "Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry- I didn't mean- Oh, come here."

Nathan didn't deserve to hug Peter after making him cry. If it hadn't been for the fact that she didn't want to give herself up, Claire would have marched up out of that closet and gone to hug Peter herself. The very thought of anyone causing him pain infuriated her to such a degree, she wasn't sure it was safe.

"I love you, man. And- what you found out today. It doesn't make a damn difference- You're still my brother." She couldn't hear Peter, but she imagined that he was nodding his head, "Come on, Heidi ordered the chef to make a feast tonight for you. You need to gain some weight."

Claire finally heard Peter scoff, "God, why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Girls don't like skinny guys, Pete. It's been ages since you've had a girlfriend- except for that Elle girl- and I never did like her", His voice trailed off, as if in thought.

_That makes two of us,_Claire thought to herself. She could hear Peter snicker on the other side of the door, and she was pretty sure it wasn't because of what Nathan had said, "Come on then, let's go eat."

......

When Nathan had said Heidi had asked the cook to cook a feast, he hadn't been exaggerating. There was Lasagna, caviar, and Peter's favorite, sushi. Actually, come to think of it, anything she could think of was already there. They had all joined in for a conversation and spoken like an actual family enjoying a dinner. There were no arguments, no snide comments or reproachful stares around the table- for once, there was peace.

They sat across from each other, and both joined in to conversations that were taking place at all sides of the large dinning room table, but every so often, Claire couldn't help at look up and look at Peter. In those moments, his attention would be on whoever was talking to him, but he didn't look dead anymore- or felt left out- there was some new lingering brightness to him. He seemed to be enjoying and soaking in the time that he was spending with his family.

It made Claire smile to see him smirking at the comments Nathan made of his fan girls, and how he had, first hand, seen interns obsessed with Peter at his office. She decided not to partake in that conversation, only having less than nice things to say about those girls. Apparently, they had asked Nathan more than once for Peter's number, and his _availability_.

"It's insane- I tell you. Girls used to approach me before, now everywhere I turn they're talking about him," chuckled Nathan, as he told Claire. She managed her own small smile, but felt her insides twisting with a toxic amount of jealousy, "Makes me wonder if I picked the right career."

She was starting to wonder if it had been better when they hadn't been talking at all, at least then he didn't mention anything about all the girls that were after Peter nowadays. At the side of him, Heidi playfully hit Nathan's arm, trying to suppress a smile from forming on her face, and decided instead to turn to Peter, "When is it you start working again?"

"I fly out back to London tomorrow," he flashed a look at Claire before continuing, "-it's only for a couple of days though- then I'm coming back here and doing some other shoots around New York."

The message was meant for her and she got it, letting a hint of a smile tug on the side of her mouth. She looked back down at her broccoli and took a bite.

_Thank You._

....

It was late- around eleven, but she felt restless and the warm breeze coming from outside was only adding the anxiousness that had been surging through her chest. It was a mixture between knowing Peter would be leaving the next day and the ache of knowing just how much she'd miss him.

That's what caused her to get up nervously and walk out of her bedroom, making sure that no one was still up. The entire house was pitch black though, and she closed the door behind her, tip toeing towards his bedroom. The carpet under her bare feet was cold and felt hard to the touch, making her wonder if what she was doing was right-she scoffed, she knew it wasn't right.

His door wasn't locked, and she turned it slowly, slipping inside and closing it behind her- but making sure to lock it at the same time. Her chest was rising up and down, her head was light; his sight always managed to leave her breathless and completely incompetent.

Peter was laying down on his back, sprawled out on his bed, clearly deep in sleep. A smirk tugged at Claire's lips, and she bit down on it as she walked over to him and slowly climbed his bed. The rhythm of his breathing was even; he looked serene and peaceful in his slumber as she laid down next to him and just looked at his features. His jaw was less profound than it had been before, when it had been razor sharp. She liked how he'd gained weight- he was still the same lean Peter he had always been, but now it was back to the old Peter she'd met, and that sat well with her.

There was a shear sheet covering his bare torso, it was so tempting to run her fingers on his stomach-so tempting that she did. It wasn't nearly enough though, and that's how her lips slowly made their way to his chest. She savored the taste of it on her lips- the soft, smooth texture of his skin against her lips was delectable to say the least.

Beneath her, Peter stirred a little and Claire looked up to see his sleepy face, yawning, "Claire? What are-?"

To answer his question, feeling a little more confident than usual, she slithered her hand that was resting on his chest all the way down until it met the waistband of his pajama pants. She felt him shudder and let out a soft sigh as her hand met his cock. Her fingers wrapped around it tightly, while she kept kissing his chest, collarbone, shoulder- Claire couldn't get enough of the wondrous feel of his skin.

"They'll hear us", he whispered, breathless, as her hand stroked him and her lips made their way to his cheekbone. His own hands pulled hers up, as he instantly turned her on her back so that he was the one on top of her now.

Claire shook her head, pulling his head down to kiss him, "We'll be quiet- please?" she pressed on, running her hands through his hair and wrapping them around his neck whilst kissing him, "Its been too long- I need you."

There was a moment of uncertainty where he stayed frozen on top of her- not kissing her back, but she encouraged him on, by once again letting her hand down under the bed sheet and running her fingers along the waist band of his flannel pajamas and yanking them down.

He broke and devoured her lips in his, cupping her face and sustaining himself above her with his knees and one of his elbows. The kiss was heated, needy, passionate, urgent- everything that Claire wanted and had missed from him. He only broke away from her lips to move to her neck and she arched her back in pleasure while he slipped a hand under her one piece night gown and stopped when his hand reached her breast to cup it. A soft moan escaped her, and Peter brought his lips lazily to her earlobe, "Shh."

But even the feel of his hot breath and lips hitting her ear and making its way back down was too much for her. The need to have him entirely inside her was overwhelming, driving her insane with desire for him. When she felt him hardening underneath her, it only worsened her already ridiculous urgency for him. He helped bring her night gown up her arms and off of her, only taking his lips off of her skin for a brief period of time, as if she were his oxygen.

In one quick move, he was inside her and they both stopped to marinate in the relief of finally being together. Peter's hands both traveled to her own, and intertwined his fingers in hers above her head as he plunged deep inside her, whilst silencing her moan with a kiss. All the while continuing his slow rhythm inside her, thrusting deeper and harder each time, eliciting a groan from his mouth as well.

She closed her eyes and frowned in a particularly deep thrust inside her, clamping her teeth down on his smooth shoulder. He didn't evoke any pain, didn't even seem to notice that Claire had just bitten him- he was completely lost in her and holding on to her as if his life depended on it- his very existence.

"Faster", she murmured, biting down on her lip to suppress the deep moan that wanted to make its way out of her. Peter obliged and quickened his pace, all the while, his movements becoming more erratic, and moaning softly into her neck.

Sloppy kisses made their way across her collarbone and he ducked his head on to her breast, hissing, "Fuck."

The first waves of orgasm made themselves present in such an overwhelming feeling that filled her completely. It was a cool shiver that circulated throughout her body and made her part her lips in a moan, momentarily making her forget just where they were. It didn't seem to cross her mind that just a few doors down, Nathan and Heidi were peacefully sleeping and that Peter and her were becoming increasingly less discreet over their current state. The thought almost made its way to her, but another wave of euphoria beat it and she was lost in the complete contentment that it brought her.

She arched her back and quivered against Peter, as his own movements became just as jerky and he emptied inside her with a few short, hard thrusts. He fell on top of her, out of breath, and kissing her stomach tenderly, "You're amazing."

"Don't leave me, Peter", Claire begged in a whisper, looking down at him. She knew the pleading was in her eyes, and he sighed, looking back at her and raising one of his hands to caress her cheek, "You don't need to work."

He slowly made his way up and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in to him. Peter buried his head into her hair and kissed it, murmuring, "I'll be back in a few days, then I'll be all yours."

....

When he woke up the next morning, Claire's body was gone and Peter lingered in his bed a few moments before getting up, remembering the events from the previous evening. He'd been surprised to say the least, assuming that she wouldn't have wanted that while they were still under the Petrelli roof and with his mother in the same house- so to have her wake him up in the middle of the night had been a pleasant shock.

He got up quickly afterwards and looked at the clock on the side of his bed. It was only two hours before his flight to London; he'd slept in. Cursing, he threw on the first things he saw as he walked in to his closet and grabbed his wallet before running down the stairs, into the kitchen.

There, seated gracefully on a stool was his Claire, eating a bowl of lucky charms. When he walked in, she looked up and smiled, "Good morning."

Peter couldn't help it, he smirked, but still kept a respectful distance from her and grabbed the orange juice in the fridge, "Great morning to you, too. Where's everyone else?" he asked, getting a cup from the cupboard and serving himself some juice.

"Oh, they all left for the day, we're the only two at home right now," she giggled, taking a spoonful of lucky charms.

A small, playful frown formed on his face, and he tried to hide the smile that was dying to spread on his lips, "You let me sleep in on purpose, and turned off my alarm clock, didn't you?"

When she giggled, Peter walked over to her and grabbed her by her hips, as she whispered into his ear, "Guilty." He shook his head and kissed her cheek, trying to be angry, but failing miserably- it was impossible to be upset with Claire, he didn't think he'd ever be able to.

There was a honk outside, and he knew immediately that it was Adam waiting for him impatiently. He withdrew from Claire and sighed, looking at her sadly, "But you failed," he watched as her smile fell, and a slow kiss was placed on her now frowning forehead. His lips lingered there for a few seconds, taking in her scent, before continuing, "I love you, Claire. I'll be back in a couple days- I promise. " He stopped and raised his eyebrows, "Oh, and open my birthday present!"

Tears were brimming her eyes when he pulled away, and he wanted more than anything to take her back into his arms, to stop them from coming out- stop her from feeling the need to cry, but he couldn't. After another honk, he merely smiled and turned away, rushing out the door towards the limo that was waiting with his very impatient, biological, immortal father.

Adam looked aghast at his sight, "Did you just roll out of bed?"

"Basically," Peter smirked, trying to forget about the heartbreaking look that had etched Claire's face before he had left. It left a sour taste in his mouth to leave her in such a state, but he had to. She'd known that he had to leave- and it was ridiculous to feel so saddened over it, he knew it, but they still were.

The blond across from Peter shook his head, and sighed, "Long night?"

He couldn't help it, he smiled, "Oh, you could say that."

"I don't want to know", muttered Adam suddenly very interested in the pedestrians walking down the streets of Manhattan.

It amused Peter how the thought of him and Claire now made Adam uncomfortable. It should have made him feel awkward to be in the same car with Adam then, but he'd been so caught up in thoughts of Claire and their wonderful evening, that he'd completely blocked out everything else, including a certain revelation with a certain British blond.

Peter cleared his throat then, gaining Adam's attention, and pursing his lips slightly, "I hope you don't think I'm going to start calling you 'dad' any time soon."

"Do and I'll run the opposite direction faster than you can possibly imagine," he snickered, "I've never really gotten to know one of my children."

The revealing comment caused Peter to blink and look back at Adam, "Just, how many kids have you had?"

Adam pursed his lips, and narrowed his eyes, as if in thought, "Oh, I'd say about twenty, including you and Ellie."

Ellie- Peter still hadn't met his half sister. She was two months old and heard stories from Adam about how she was incredibly beautiful- and he'd promised to meet her. Now though, the entire thought and situation came differently. The little girl that Adam spoke about wasn't just his agent's daughter, but his half sister, and left him dubious of what to say or do over the matter.

"I'm just afraid she'll be like us," muttered Adam, suddenly sullen and frowning out the window.

They had gotten to the airport, "What do you mean?"

Both men exited the limo and Peter merely put his sunglasses on, not having any bags of his own to carry along on the flight. Paparazzi were already snapping pictures and girls were being held back by various security guards. All the attention had overwhelmed him at first, but now he walked past it without really noticing it.

When they were both inside the terminal, Adam spoke up, "I mean, it's obvious she'll have dozens of men going after her, like girls do with us", he turned to look at Peter, then spoke up again, "I just hope she doesn't fall for her cousin, or uncle."

Peter stopped dead in his tracks, and watched frozen as Adam kept walking, then shouted- amused yet irritated at the same time, "Oh fuck you, _dad_."

.....

"How does it feel to be back to modeling after you stint in rehab?" Asked his interviewer, as she sat across the coffee table and took notes down.

It was his last interview before his flight back to New York and he was anxious. The photo shoot the day before had been the longest he had ever done, and the only thing that had gotten him through it was the thought that Claire was waiting for him to get back to her.

Peter clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, letting out a sigh, "I missed it. But- I like being home more now." He took a piece of lint off his jeans and glanced at his watch. He only had a few more minutes before he'd be able to escape, "I was traveling so much- distancing myself from my family that I'd completely forgotten what it felt to have them again, and it's nice to be able to go home, and just be with your family."

The girl smiled at him, "And how about your girlfriend? Are you still seeing the same girl?"

"Yes". just the thought of her brought a smile to his face again, "And she's waiting for me now. I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Adam would be filling his voicemail up with messages asking why it was that he had left the interview early, and not finished it- but Peter didn't care. There was just an overwhelming feeling of needing to get to Claire that surged through him at that moment- like his life depended on it.

He wanted to be back in his bed with his arms wrapped around her and nuzzling his nose into her hair. Everything between his exit of the Petrelli mansion to the interview, to him going back, made him feel as if he were holding his breath. The thought of seeing her and being back with her made him slightly feel at ease.

When Peter had made it inside the cab and was driving to the airport, Adam's first call came in. He hit the snooze button and smirked, this time Claire came first.

.....

Never in his life had the doors to his mother's house looked so inviting and made his stomach flutter to see them. It was just the fact that behind them stood Claire, and that his lips would finally be able to kiss her that kept his heart beating and sent a wave of euphoria through out him.

As he walked through the doors and past the living room, he knew she'd probably be in the kitchen eating more cereal, but instead he found Heidi. She was sitting down on a stool and sipping her tea with flowers in front of her.

When she spotted him, she raised her eyebrows, but turned her expression into a frown instead and sat her mug down, "What are you doing here?"

"I came back early since I didn't have anything left to do there," he grabbed an apple from the table and took a bite of it, "Has Adam called to harass you guys yet?"

Heidi's frown turned from astonishment to confusion, "But- you're supposed to be at your apartment..."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, taking another bite and mirroring her expression.

She looked at the flowers in front of her and picked up a black card, handing it to him, "So you didn't send this to Claire?"

He snatched the card from her hand, and looked at the message written on it- the handwriting looked familiar, then glanced at the flowers on the table, "No- did she think it was from me?"

Heidi nodded her head, "The flowers, Peter- they're poisonous flowers. I told her that, and then she said you'd never buy her poisonous flowers- and she left to your apartment."

None of what she was saying really made any sense to him. Why would she think it came from him, when she knew that he was supposedly still in London? He looked back at the card, examining the writing again and suddenly feeling his entire body go numb, "Elle."


	42. Finale

**Author's Note**: There's a scene in this chapter that was inspired by a scene in 'La Vie En Rose'. Umm, if you've seen the movie, and read the chapter below...you'll know which one it is.

This is it you guys, the last piece of BOBN. I've had this chapter written for a while now, but I've fixed things here and there. It's been a rollercoaster writing this story, and I can honestly say that its been the most exciting for me to write, I've truly enjoyed it. Sure there were moments where I was stuck and felt like I wouldn't be able to finish it, but with the help of a few great individuals, here it is, the finale.

* * *

**Ballad Of Big Nothing**

The Finale.

…"Nope, my Claire bear. Its just you, me-" she took out her hand that had been hiding in her back. It was holding a needle, "And _Shanti_."

Claire looked at the needle, panicking. Mohinder had explained to her what a full vile of the virus could do to her-

__

Mohinder frowned at her, "Claire, maybe I didn't explain myself correctly. One single drop of this virus is enough to kill all human beings, the whole vile would most likely kill you, and your anti bodies wouldn't be able to fight it off fast enough...This is deadly."

-She'd die, "Why are you doing this? What did I ever do to you?"

Elle threw her head back in a horrible shriek of laughter, then brought it back down again to scoff at her, "What did you do to me? Oh, come on, we know you aren't that stupid- even if you are a natural blond…You took _my_ Peter away." she sneered at Claire, baring all her teeth like some type of cannibal, "Things were perfect before you showed up! You just waltzed back in to his life and snatched him away from me!"

"He was never yours," Claire gritted back angrily, "He never wanted you."

For a moment it seemed as if her comment had hurt the blonde, but she just turned her momentary frown into a snicker and cocked her head, "Does your daddy know you like to fuck your uncle? What does he think of his little brother and only daughter getting it on?"

Elle took out a cell phone, "I wonder what he would think?"

"You bitch-"

"-That's psychotic bitch to you," Elle snapped her cell phone shut again and sighed, "No- no, let's not get him involved. I just want to hurt you anyway- not Peter."

Claire scoffed, "And what? He'll just go skipping back to you like your little lap dog? He'll hate you."

Elle shook her head and giggled, "No, he'll be sad, then he'll go back to using and after a while- he'll be begging for me to be at his side- just like before. Only this time- You'll stay dead."

But just as Elle stepped forward with that psychotic smile of hers, there was a bang at the entrance of the door, and Claire turned to see a frightened Peter now inside the apartment, slowly walking towards them.

"Don't do it, Elle," Peter let out slowly, trying to calm the crazed blonde before him with his slow, soothing voice. She still had the needle raised in her hand, shaking a bit.

Elle had tears rolling down her angry face, her fist clenched tightly around the needle. She looked maddening-crazed-sad, "It's the only way for me to have you, Peter. I heard what Mohinder said. It'll kill her, and then she'll be gone and it will all go back to normal, just like I picked you up right after the Company took her away. Don't you see? It's the only way for us to be together."

Claire looked at Peter's horrified face. He looked back at her, frowning, in complete doubt of what to do. How could he? When Elle was holding the fate of Claire's life in her hands?

He licked his lips and took a step forward; Elle backed away from him and closer to Claire. He stopped and looked at her directly, "It's no use killing her, Elle. I wouldn't be with you either way. So just put the needle down, ok?"

Elle's angry tears continued and her face got red with fury, "Why her? What's so special about your God damn _niece_? I was never even in the running, was I?"

Peter shook his head apologetically, "I'm sorry, Elle. I'm just not the one for you."

Her face darkened and she stopped crying, continuing to shake with the needle in her hand and turning to Claire, "Well if I can't have him, you won't either." She raised the needle further up and looked at her with complete and utter loathing as she moved it towards Claire, about to stab her.

Claire shut her eyes instinctively, not wanting to watch as Elle stabbed her with the Shanti virus, but the feeling of a needle hitting her body never came. Instead, she felt something heavy fall against her and heard Elle gasp.

She opened her eyes to see Peter hitting her body and she quickly wrapped her arms around him, seeing the needle dig deep into his chest. He had teleported. He looked at her in shock, just as surprised as she was to be standing there, but his shock was followed by a small smile, and his trembling hand meeting her cheek to caress it tenderly, "I saved you."

A pang so potent hit her chest at that moment; it hurt beyond anything she had ever felt before. Claire wanted to cry, but couldn't, she didn't want to scare him, "Always my hero."

"I love you, Claire," he whispered, looking at her seriously.

Her own voice was trembling with fear. She didn't want to make love confessions, she didn't want to even think that he wasn't going to make it, because he was- but she had to say it, "I love you, too."

She looked up to curse at Elle, but no one was standing there. The door to the apartment was wide open and there was no sign of Elle- she had fled.

Claire looked back down at Peter, who seemed to be getting sleepier by the second, "Stay awake, Peter, you're going to be fine. You have my ability."

"It doesn't feel like it", he murmured, trying his best to keep his eyes open. He made eye contact with her, gave her his lopsided grin that she'd always loved and raised his fingers to her cheek- to caress them. Only, after a few moments, he let it drop- his energy failing him.

"No, no, no, no, no! Don't look at me like that, Peter," she screeched, grabbing his hand and putting it against her cheek again, watching as his eyes slowly started to close. This couldn't be happening, he couldn't leave her. If he had teleported, that surely meant that he had her ability so, therefore, he couldn't die of the Shanti Virus, could he? No, of course not.

Still, his body started going limp in her arms and she breathed heavily, too stubborn to let any tears come out. He wasn't even going to die, so what would the use of crying be?

...

It wasn't long after that Nathan arrived through the window, claiming he had received the alarming news from Heidi, that there was something troubling going on in Peter's apartment.

As he approached them, Claire was still trying to shake Peter awake, and her eyes were huge and scared, but she refused to give up. He only needed to be able to absorb her powers. He needed time, that was all, but he'd be ok.

"What happened?" Nathan pressed, falling to his knees, his own eyes growing with confusion.

Claire rocked Peter back in forth in her arms, not taking her eyes off him- not daring to leave him alone for a moment, "It was Elle- she- she lured me here. She was going to inject me with a full dose of the Shanti virus, but Peter got in front of me, and she got him instead." She paused, finally looking up at Nathan with determination, "He'll be fine, he just needs to absorb my ability. Call Mohinder, now."

Nathan nodded once, and pulled out his cell phone, dialing Mohinder's number, and walking away from them.

He was cold and lifeless in her arms- but he'd be ok- he had to.

….

She cradled him in her arms and hugged him snugly to her, hoping that her closeness would be enough to bring him back, to sweep life back into his limp body. He couldn't die, Mohinder had pumped so much of her blood into him that he just had to live, he _had_ to. Soon, he'd breathe again and would caress her cheek, calling her beautiful and asking her to dye her hair blond again.

They would laugh about her distress and how she was too stubborn to let go of him. He would tell her that she had been silly to worry about him, because Peter would wake up, she was sure of it.

Why had he done it anyway? Didn't he know she'd be able to survive whatever Elle had in that needle?_ He_ was the fragile one, not her.

Claire continued to rock back and forth with him in her arms, whispering to him that it would be ok. They'd get through this, that she was sorry for not being there for him, for not giving him her blood earlier. It didn't matter to her that Mohinder or Nathan were watching and sighing at her. The fact that it had been almost 12 hours didn't matter either, what he'd been injected with was a lot, it would take time, but he would come back to her- she was sure of it.

"Claire, don't you think it-"

With a horrified look, Claire shushed Nathan, "I need silence! I _need_ to be able to hear him breathe again, Nathan! You can't talk!"

Both Nathan and Mohinder sighed again and nodded to each other, walking towards her on the bed, where she held Peter like a baby. She frowned and wrapped her arms tightly around him, unable to understand why they were being so pessimistic. Peter was Nathan's own brother, he out of everyone else should have been on her side.

Nathan looked at Claire tenderly and spoke softly, "Claire, he's gone. He's not coming back to us this time."

That was ridiculous, of course he would, he would wake up and laugh at Nathan, and thank Claire for saving his life again. He would say sorry for taking so long, and they'd go and eat out.

This had happened before, did Nathan not remember? Could he not recall the day she had pulled the piece of glass from his skull? He'd be ok, he really would, she just had to believe in it for all of them.

"Don't touch him!" She screeched as Mohinder went to pull him from her.

She just couldn't let them take him. God only knew what they would do to him, and he would need her once he woke up, he'd ask for her. She needed to be with him when that happened.

Peter was only sleeping. He really was. He was soft and pale like always, his lips were pink, and warm- he was simply too beautiful to die. He wasn't dead, he was just sleeping, waiting for her blood to do its job and bring him back.

"We need to destroy his body, Claire, he has the virus. It could kill millions of people," Mohinder stressed.

Claire shook her head, refusing to let tears out, "He's not dead! He's going to wake up, just wait and see. _Please_, just wait, he's going to wake up." She softly patted his bangs down. But when she looked downward to look at him, the tears fell down her cheeks and she started sobbing uncontrollably, "You're going to be ok, Peter, they don't know-but I do. You're going to wake up-Wake up, dammit!"

Nathan slowly rested his hand on her shoulder and held her back as Mohinder took Peter's body from her, "Let him go! Don't touch him! He's going to wake up!"

It was too late. Mohinder had carefully lifted Peter's lifeless body into his arms and had slowly started walking out of the room, avoiding Claire's eyes. She yelled after him, demanding he be brought back. He had no right to take him from her arms like that, not when he was going to wake up.

Which was why Claire tried freeing herself from Nathan's grasp and running after him, so she could be there to await his wakening. To see his beautiful eyes flutter open, giving her his crooked smile-the one he reserved only for her.

She wasn't sure how long it was after Mohinder left. It could have been hours, or only minutes, but she had buried her face in Nathan's chest, hating the rational side of herself. She knew deep down inside that he was gone. Peter was never going to return to her.

...

"Wake up, Claire."

There were tiny kisses coming from her ear, and Claire smiled and giggled with her eyes closed, feeling someone spooning her from behind. She recognized the scent immediately. Only Peter could ever pull off the cologne and cigarette scent. It was what had driven her crazy and into incomprehension at first.

He wrapped his arms further around her, pulling her towards him, whispering, "I love you, Claire."

It was wondrous to her how four simple words could always make everything ok. How he could set everything in her life at peace by once again declaring his love for her. It didn't matter how wrong it was to the world, he was hers, forever.

Claire turned and put her hands on his smiling face, pulling him down towards her, to kiss him passionately, "I knew you'd wake up- they didn't think you would. But I knew you'd be ok," her whisper made his smile grow, and his fingers twirled her hair.

He nodded, "And I'm staying here with you."

Butterflies that only he could ever bring to life in her, erupted all over her body, sending her into such a euphoric state that she wondered if it was safe to feel that happy. All she could do and wanted to do was plant butterfly kisses all over him, to show him just how much she loved him. It didn't even seem to matter to her- actually- it didn't cross her mind once that they were in the Petrelli mansion, and in her bed.

"Will you stay with me forever?" She whispered- eyes closed- lips on lips- his breath on hers.

There was no hesitation in his touch, no questioning of his love for her, or how deep it ran, because, truly? Edward and Bella had nothing on them. He led his hands glide further around her waist so that she was pressed right to his chest, and he kissed her neck with such tenderness and love- that all she'd ever need was that moment. Him in her bed- things were ok, and she wanted to finally declare her love- needed to, and would never shy away in shame of what she felt for him.

Peter grazed his fingers over her cheek and pushed her bangs away from her face with such a glowing smile- that it was almost scary to her how radiantly happy he was, "Forever."

She had to tell Nathan, he'd want to know that Peter was ok after all. That he didn't have the virus and that he was right in front of her, of course the endless supply of her blood had worked. Claire kissed him furiously again and sprang up from the bed, delighted beyond belief, "I'll be right back, don't move, ok?"

It shocked her how his smile grew and how his long, thin body looked over her ivory Egyptian cotton bed sheets. She mentally took a picture of him, and engraved it into her memory. then turned around and sprinted out her door, in search of Nathan.

Claire Bennet was in love with Peter Petrelli, her uncle, and she'd scream it at Nathan's face- declare her undying love for him. He needed to know the truth, even if they were both cut off completely and banished from New York to wherever. It didn't matter to Claire, because as long as they had each other, nothing else was needed.

She found Heidi on the love sofa of the formal dining room- dressed completely in black, with big, swollen, red eyes and a handkerchief to her mouth, sobbing silently. Claire wanted to shake her and tell her the marvelous news; she didn't need to suffer anymore, because it had been a false alarm, just like she'd said. He had woken up and he was laying peacefully in her bed, looking more alive than he had in years.

Hadn't she seen him? He'd had to walk past the formal living room to get to her room. Was it out of joy that he was ok, that Heidi was crying? It made Claire giggle at how emotional Heidi could be at times. So she decided to simply walk past her and look for someone else.

But when she entered the study, Angela was in the same state- she'd never seen her grandmother show such emotion before. Not even in the hospital when Peter had overdosed had she cried this much. Claire didn't understand why they were making such a big deal out of his false alarm death, after all, he was fine.

"Why are you crying? You should be celebrating," Claire smiled at her, and even jumped up to give her grandmother a chaste kiss on her cheek. It only made Angela delve into further hysterics.

Of course a false alarm of his death was something to cry about. She had cried herself the day earlier as Mohinder had carried him away, with all hope lost to them. She had wondered how she'd ever go on with out him. He was her everything- the reason she had been created. But that brief scare was over and he was there! He was in her room and alive, he was smiling- he was incredible.

When Angela didn't stop, Claire frowned, a bit annoyed and turned around to walk out, but instead was greeted by Nathan, who seemed to have been crying himself. His eyes were red and bloodshot; the color had drained from his face completely. He was even still wearing the same clothes from the day before, he hadn't even bothered to change- that right there surprised her. A Petrelli rarely repeated clothes, or forgot to change them.

Nathan's distraught eyes made contact with hers, and she frowned, walking closer to him, "What's wrong, Nathan? Why is everyone still crying? Peter's ok."

His mouth twitched and his eyes filled with tears, as he carefully put his hands on top of her shoulders, "Claire- you need to be strong."

Her own smile faded and a frown formed on her face, "What are you talking about? What's going on? Peter's fine."

He was more than fine, he was great laying down on her bed upstairs. There was no other man who could efficiently ever pull off the out of bed look, with a wrinkled white top and faded black jeans, only Peter could look that good on any given morning.

It shocked her to see Nathan's tears, he'd never shown that much emotion in front of her- it was plainly- scary. She was sure though that Peter was ok, how couldn't she be when he was still on her bed?

Nathan shook his head, "He's dead, Claire. Mohinder called me this morning- they've transported his body to the morgue-to- they're getting him ready-"

"No!" she blurted angrily. Because, really, how could they be so hard headed as to not realize that he was ok? "He's ok! He's on my bed, Nathan," Claire nodded her head. Her surety only made Angela's sobs increase- and from where she was standing, she could even hear Heidi crying into her hands.

Claire swallowed, faltering in her belief. He was ok- he had to be. She ran out of the study again, feeling Nathan trailing her steps, rushing back to her room. Her heartbeat was so fast she could feel it against her chest. The steps seemed to be never ending as she tried to make her way back up into her room to assure herself that he was ok.

Her door was only five steps away. That was five steps away from assuring herself that he was there resting peacefully on her soft mattress, with a look of pure contentment and a radiant smile. Everyone else was wrong, he was ok.

Claire grabbed onto the doorway and pulled herself into her room to spot her bed, only to see that it was- empty. He wasn't where she'd left him, he was gone.

"Peter?" she called out, feeling a little lightheaded from the pounding in her chest. He didn't respond back, and when she barged into her bathroom, he wasn't there either.

Claire turned around to see Nathan right behind her, tears streaming still down his eyes. She wasn't ready to admit defeat though. He had simply decided to scare her, that's all. He was hiding. She pushed herself past Nathan and ran to his old room in search of him- anything that would tell her where he'd hidden.

But his room was empty, just as it had always been, except for the mountains of CD's.

She swallowed, putting her hand on the wall for support as she hurried ahead, keeping up her search for him. He had to be there, somewhere, there wasn't any possible way he could have left that abruptly from her room.

"Peter?" her voice was softer that time, a little scared that he wasn't answering back. "Peter!"

Nathan's hand rested on her shoulder, but she pushed it away, unwilling to let him touch her. She only wanted Peter's skin on hers, she didn't want it to be tainted by anyone else.

But he was no where- gone- he'd left.

Claire sank to her knees on the cold marble floor of the bottom hallway, with Nathan, and Heidi behind her, "Peter!"

Her own eyes filled with tears and she felt as if her lungs had stopped working completely, because if he was gone, her air was gone- he was everything. Claire felt arms, wrap around her body, while she struggled to get out, to keep looking for him and screaming his name at the top of her lungs.

...

Everyone around her cried, but none of them could truly understand what a loss it was. No one was crying like she was internally, because they weren't really grieving. To them, Peter was merely a super model- a hot guy that had died too soon.

Some of them still saw him as that same heroin junkie that he'd gotten a reputation for being. None of them though-_none_ knew him like she had. No one could have guessed that Peter preferred flat soda over carbonated ones, because the bubbles tickled down his throat. Or had known that he secretly could never get enough of _sushi_. And Claire doubted that very few people knew about his obsession with music, and all the CD's he'd had.

All of them, even Heidi and Nathan, all they knew was the face and the person he had chosen to expose to them. They didn't know the real Peter, not like her. Which was why they truly couldn't miss him. You truly had to know a person to miss them, and Claire did.

Claire knew Peter wouldn't have wanted her to cry at his funeral, but even as they lowered his casket into the ground, she couldn't help it. As much as she tried to fight it and swallowed, a tiny sob came out. It had never been meant to be that way. She should never have had to endure watching his beautiful self being lowered into his grave.

Until the end of days he was supposed to have been by her side, so she wouldn't be left alone. They had discussed it before she had died, he had promised. To know that he wouldn't be there sent another pang of hurt through her, only eating at her insides more, diminishing any joy that came from living; only wishing she could throw herself inside the grave to be buried with him forever.

She'd never know if he'd wanted a Reneesnme, just as she had considered, but it didn't matter. Claire deserved to buried next to him, because she couldn't live in a world in which he did not exist anymore. It was painful, unbearable, and she couldn't breathe without him. Peter had been her oxygen, her sun, her moon- the reason she was alive. Literally.

...

Going to see him was her only hope, she told herself. She couldn't go on, not really- and if he had another dose- then that's all she needed- she'd be fine. A life without Peter was no life for her- there wasn't a point- she couldn't really function anymore.

The Indian Man stood before her, his own face stricken with mourning, "Why do you keep coming back, Claire?"

She couldn't help but cry randomly lately, how could she, when he was gone? Everything could somehow always be associated with him, and when that happened, tears would form themselves in her eyes without her permission.

"Because I need you to give me some. I want the virus- you have to have some of it left."

Mohinder closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking straight at her. His eyes were full of pity, sadness and understanding of why she was asking this of him. She simply wanted to have the same fate as Peter. Was that asking too much? To die in the same way that he had?

"The rest of the strains of the Shanti virus have been destroyed, and- Nathan doesn't want you coming here anymore." Mohinder said slowly, caressing her arm softly.

"Fuck Nathan. I don't care what he says- I just want the virus. Please, Mohinder!" she had started sobbing, had fallen to her knees.

He bent down and put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look up at his apologetic face, "I'm sorry, Claire, I can't help you."

...

Claire was curled into a ball, hugging her pillow tightly and listening to _Sia_. It was torture, she knew that it was only hurting her more to dwell in it, but she welcomed the pain, she'd do anything not to forget him.

"This isn't very healthy, you know."

It was Angela. Claire could always tell the distinctiveness in her voice. but it was softer now, hurt- aching like her. As many differences as she may have had, and all the things that she'd disliked about Angela, Claire knew she too ached for Peter.

Sighing Claire opened her eyes, "I don't care."

She heard Angela's footsteps go toward her bed and sit down next to her, caressing her hair. There was so much tenderness evoked in her touch; it was actually what Claire imagined a grandmother would act. It was completely unlike Angela too, which scared her, "I understand you miss him. Nathan told me what happened, I wish I would have known."

She wiped her tears, and closed her eyes again, trying to control her, "Why? You still would have shunned him- me included."

But Angela shook her head and breathed in deeply, letting her own tears fill her eyes, "If I would have known how you two felt about each other, I would have told you the complete truth about his paternity with Adam Monroe."

Claire froze, her crying stopped abruptly and after a few seconds of incomprehension and fright that had suddenly picked up her heart beat, she turned over to face her grandmother, "What are you talking about? I know Adam Monroe is his real dad- we all know that now-"

Angela put her hand up, "But I neglected to tell you the truth about his mother."

"You're his mother..."

"I raised him, yes. I loved him as my own as well- maybe even more than Nathan at some point, but he wasn't my biological son, Claire. He belonged to Adam Monroe and Victoria Pratt."

She blinked and looked directly up at her grandmothers mournful face, "What are you talking about?"

"When we realized what type of threat Adam could be to man kind, we erased his memory and all the memories he had of Victoria, along with her pregnancy." Angela paused, wiping a tear from her eye before continuing, "But we couldn't just take his memories without taking Victoria's. She was his lover after all, and she had just given birth to Peter. You're grandfather wanted to dispose of him, but I- I felt an instant connection at seeing him. I just knew he'd fit in."

Claire let another tiny sob out, hating irony more than ever. Maybe if she'd allowed him to confess their love for each other to their family and they had realized that it was ok- he would…

She didn't want to think of it, she just couldn't even finish the thought, "Why didn't you ever tell him?"

"Oh, Claire. He already felt as if he were a misfit. I couldn't do that to him- He always thought I treated him differently, and that I didn't love him like I loved Nathan, but it couldn't be further from the truth. He was always my baby boy," the tears ran down Angela's face violently, "You think you're the only one that misses him, Claire- you're not. I feel like a part of me is missing too."

There was a knock on the door, and Claire turned wondering if it was Heidi coming in to join their hysterics, but it wasn't. It was Andy.

"Oh, right- I forgot to mention, you have a visitor, Claire", Angela forced a smile through her tears- wiping them, and stood up from her bed, "I'll leave you two alone to talk."

Andy nodded to her grandmother and smiled, then turned his complete attention back to Claire, and walked towards her opening his arms up, "Come here."

She didn't want to. The only arms she'd ever want were those of the man she'd never have again. But the other part of her that was a complete mess already couldn't help it, she fell into Andy's arms and sobbed, hard.

Maybe it was minutes, or hours- Claire wasn't really sure- everything after Peter's death seemed to be a blur lately- including time. But when she finally was able to stop for a brief moment, she rested her head on his chest and sighed deeply, "I never told anyone but you. He wanted to tell the world and I wouldn't let him. I'm _so_ stupid."

She felt him shake his head, "Don't be ridiculous, Claire, he knew you loved him. His family and yours know that you loved him now- that's all that matters."

"He was supposed to live with me forever, Andy," she let out in a hurtful whisper. Claire's throat hurt beyond compare and felt as would never repair itself again, "Now I don't have him- I won't- ever."

Andy sighed against her, "Claire- I think we should take a ride."

…

After much persuasion and convincing, Claire found herself in the back of a cab with Andy. He still hadn't told her where it was exactly that they were headed, but it didn't matter to her- its not like it would make things any better.

She would never again in her life feel complete- and that was something she'd have to live with for the rest of her life.

The entire ride was silent- the only sounds she heard were those of the cab drive cursing when a car cut him off, or the breaks that needed obvious repairing. Claire only hoped that Andy had no intention of taking her to Peter's apartment- she wasn't sure if she'd be able to live through that.

Actually that wasn't the problem- it was that she was sure she would, and she wanted to cease living completely.

"We're here," murmured Andy, opening his palm up to help her out of the cab.

Again, she'd completely lost track of the time and found it odd for him now to be standing outside the cab, extending his arm to her. She took it slowly and got out, noting the kind smile on Andy's face, "You said that no one would know about your love, but you're wrong, Claire- look."

Andy pointed with his head towards a sign on Madison Square Garden. It was a billboard, at least twenty feet high, of Chanel. As she made out the two figures in an intimate embrace, whispering sweet nothings to each other, Claire's heart stopped.

It was them in Paris. She remembered that afternoon vividly as the photographer had started snapping pictures of them instead right before the actual photo shoot was supposed to start.

Here it was, in broad daylight. Nothing could mistaken the look in their eyes, and the smile on Peter's lips as he looked at her endearingly. The look was of love, and as if to make things perfect, the writing on the ad read;

_Love knows no boundaries._

Whether it was some sick joke, or mere coincidence, Claire didn't know, but in that moment she turned to her best friend, with a reluctant wet smile and hugged him, "Thank you."

...

__

One year later…

For days, something hadn't felt right.

Her back ached, nausea came and went frequently without warning and she'd stopped getting her period completely. To any other person, this would have been something frightening, but Claire welcomed all the un-comfort, hoping it would be something that would kill her. Caner, leukemia, some virus- anything.

But when the weight gain in her lower abdomen started showing- she rushed to Mohinder's immediately.

"There's something wrong," she let out awkwardly, unable to go further into details. She wasn't even sure that something was wrong, only that she was gaining weight for no apparent reason.

Molly came out, taller, more grown up, with a sad, pitiful smile at Claire. Everyone had those around her, always pitying her- she hated it.

Mohinder turned to the girl, "Molly could you wait outside my office? This is important."

"But, I know what's wrong," the girl let out, her eyes growing and biting her lip nervously, "You're pregnant- sixteen weeks to be exact."

Automatically Claire let out a dry laugh, "That's impossible- believe me."

"But-"

"Molly- wait outside, please," Mohinder insisted, closing the door after Molly grunted and stormed towards her room.

He turned back to Claire with a mystified expression and sat behind his desk, never taking his eyes off it. There were a few moments where they were both quiet and Claire felt like it would never end.

If there was something she hated, it was uncomfortable silences, and this was one of them. She'd hoped that by now they'd be over silences like this, "Claire…weren't you pregnant before?"

The beating of her heart fastened and she nodded slowly, "But- I lost it-"

"How?" he asked folding his hands, and looking at her, with all his attention focused on her face.

To be honest, she wasn't really sure what had happened. One day, she'd been pregnant, and had been trying to accept it and the next it was simply gone- vanished. When they had told her, there'd been no explanation. It had just been as if she had never been pregnant to begin with.

"I don't know. I was pregnant, and when I went for an ultrasound- the fetus was gone- as if it had never been there to begin with."

They were both quiet again, and Mohinder looked to be concentrating on something, and he put a finger to his lips, as if in deep thought, "What if…you didn't lose it, Claire?"

"Huh?" she frowned, not quite exactly understanding what he meant. Of course she'd lost the baby, her body had rejected it.

Mohinder set his elbows on the desk, and got closer to her, "Think about it, Claire, this baby you're carrying, it's not normal. You're immortal, and its father-"

He stopped, frozen. She swallowed and closed her eyes, "- Peter."

"-He had incredible abilities. I'm guessing that the fetus time traveled. It simply jumped into the future, to your stomach at this time."

Claire shook her head, "That's insane."

"Nothing is insane these days."

And he was right. If someone could breathe underwater, have precog dreams, fly- who's to say that the baby she had been pregnant with a year ago couldn't simply time travel into her future stomach?

Oh god, she was pregnant.

….

There was nothing she could do. All she wanted was to forget and leave it all behind. She couldn't stand to live in New York anymore, not when it reminded her of Peter. New York was his, it had his imprint everywhere. She could feel him, breathe him around her, and she didn't want to anymore, especially now that her pregnancy had _resumed_. It was too painful to be reminded of him everyday when he was never going to be next to her again.

She quietly emptied the contents of her drawer on her bed, not caring to fold anything as she stuffed it inside her suitcases. Something fell to the floor with a thud though, and she frowned, bending down to pick it up. When she spotted what it was, her heart stopped, and she had to look away for a moment to blink back the tears. She didn't need to be reminded of him again, not like this.

It was the birthday present he had given her. The one he had asked her about later on, about whether or not she had opened it. It was still wrapped in black paper, a pink and blue ribbon around it. He had always been detailed.

Trembling slightly, she took the ribbon off and sighed to control her breathing. Any wrong movement or different intake of breath could cause her to lose her control and, before she knew it, she'd be in tears. The ribbon fell, and her fingers moved slowly on the paper, taking it off with delicacy.

She smiled a little and let tears fill her eyes when she saw what it was. A CD and notebook. It had been his passion, music. And she knew that a CD as a present from him really meant something. She turned the notebook open. It was the same one he had used to draw the picture of Ted. It was the same one where he'd make sketches of their missions, and of drawings of them in Central Park, going for ice cream afterwards.

All the pages were pretty much the same, littered with drawings, often one's with Claire's name on them, when it would be just her smiling or laughing at something-Those he'd never showed her, and she understood why now. It might have scared her then, even if she'd felt the same for him.

She keep turning the pages until she found something directly addressed to her. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw what he'd written. It was meant for her to read, addressed to her, and she couldn't help letting a tiny whimper out.

__

Claire,

__

You turn twenty-two today. I'm sorry I can't be there to celebrate it with you. I'll be with you again soon though, that I promise you. And once I'm completely better, I'll stay this way for you, you've awakened the real me again.

__

I think you'll like this CD. Every song in it has made me think of you in one way or the other. Some might not be happy, but that's just the way it goes, take the good with the bad, right? I'm so sorry for all that I've done to you. You were right to pretend to date Andy; you deserve all the riches in the world and unconditional love that I forgot existed.

__

I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions that day, I should have talked to you about it and told you what was happening to me. I should have let you in on me getting my powers back and not kept it a secret, because it only tore us apart again.

__

When I left you, I was not myself, Claire. Somewhere along the road I forgot who I had been once, and instead I settled for the half life I could only have without you. It was as if you had died all over again, only you chose to leave that time because I was stupid enough to convince you that I didn't love you.

__

Now that the mist and clouds are gone, I can see clearly. I've found myself with you again, and I never want to know what it's like to be without you . I don't think I'd survive losing you one more time. You are my universe, Claire. I want to surround myself with you and never let you go again. And I know I've said that there's no going back on me getting my powers, but I promise you that, together, we'll do it again, and I'll keep them for you, to protect you.

__

And though living forever might seem monotonous and horrible, I know with you at my side I'll be content for the rest of my days. We'll do it, Claire, we can do this. I'll be there for you, **forever**.

__

Love,

__

Peter

**The End.**


End file.
